Chapter 1

The island of Chemos was well known for its world famous scientists, chemists, biologists, alchemists, if it had something to do with science, then Chemos had something to do with it.

It was at this island that the Strawhat crew had docked the Thousand Sunny, and were currently exploring the sights of the island. As usual it was up to Sanji to buy the supplies. It was a matter of personal pride that he was the only one that Nami trusted with this job. Zoro would just waste it on booze, Ussopp would buy some random junk they didn't need, Franky would spend it all on Cola, Brooke would probably buy panties or some other weird stuff. Out of the whole crew, besides the women, and possibly Chopper, and himself of course, Luffy was the only one that would actually use the money to buy food. The fact that none of the food would make it to the ship didn't help Luffy's case, no matter how often he volunteered for the job.

Having finished his purchases Sanji was browsing the local market. Every stall was selling some kind of medicine, or chemical, if there was an ailment, this market had the cure (some minor side effects to be expected).

"You, young man, look like you don't even need my product." A voice caught Sanji's attention. He looked to his side. It came from an old man sitting behind a booth bearing the banner: 'Mad Hamish's Wonder Pheromone Elixir.' Sanji cocked his one visible eyebrow.

"Aren't you supposed to say I do look like someone who needs your product, and then try to sell me some?"

The old man waved the comment aside. "Nah, I get punched in the mouth too often that way."

Sanji reviewed the effects of the elixir from a handy pamphlet. Are you tired of being a loveless looser? Then look no further. Mad Hamish's Pheromone Elixir is guaranteed to have the ladies fighting each other for your attention. And even you, pathetic dork though you are, will never find yourself wanting for female company…And so on. "I can see why," Sanji muttered. "How on earth do you expect to sell this stuff?"

"Because it works, dagnabbit," the old man slapped the counter top. "I've been married to my wife for fifty years and I blame my special pheromone elixir!"

"Blame?"

"You haven't met my wife." The old man coughed slightly. "Anyway, my special elixir uses a unique blend of pheromones to enhance your male essence and make you irresistible to any woman! It's guaranteed to make women more attracted to you, but it is most potent on any woman that would already be even slightly attracted to you in the first place."

Sanji shook his head. "I'm not really interested."

"Well, then why not take a free sample," the old man quickly shoved a small container into Sanji's hands. "If you're satisfied you can always come back for more. And be sure to tell your friends about it."

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He turned to carry the supplies back to the Thousand Sunny.

"Ah, wait," cried the old man. "I forgot one thing. Be sure to follow the directions on the bottle. You have to dilute it in water otherwise it is too concentrated. Just one small drop in a large jug of water will be enough. And put a small portion of that water in a spray bottle. Be careful not to pour the whole thing on you. I don't even know what would happen if someone were to do that."

But Sanji, not listening to the old man's cries, was already gone.

The old man shrugged. "Oh well, he seemed like a responsible fellow. I'm sure he won't do anything stupid."


By the time Sanji made it to the boat, he was reading the label. One small drop in a jug of water, and just a few drops of that used as cologne? Good grief. This is really elaborate for some lousy hoax.

Most of the rest of the crew were already back. Robin was reading a book, and sitting in her usual deck chair. Ussopp and Chopper were playing a game, and Zoro was taking a nap against the mast. Luffy, Brooke, Franky and Nami were nowhere to be seen.

"Is everyone back already?"

Robin shook her head, looking up from her book. "Not yet. Captain-san hasn't come back yet, and neither have Boatwright-san or Skeleton-san. Nami-chan is in her study, working on a map."

Sanji nodded, noticed that he still had the bottle from the old man in his hands. If you were only supposed to use a tiny amount of it diluted, why did he give him such a big bottle of it? It looked for the life of him more like a sake bottle than a bottle for some magical elixir. And why would he give so much for a free sample? Ah well. Sanji went over to the side of the ship to toss the bottle overboard.

He paused. There was a faint noise, slowly growing louder. Like someone…yelling? Ah nuts.

Luffy, powered by a Gomu-Gomu no Rocket barreled into Sanji, sending supplies, and the elixir bottle flying everywhere. The bottle hit the mast, right above where Zoro was sitting, and splashed all over the sleeping swordsman.

"Ah, what the hell?" Zoro swore as he woke up.

"Sorry," Luffy apologized with a wide grin on his face. "I thought it was already dinner time, and didn't want to be late."

"You idiot," Sanji yelled. "I only just got here. Dinner isn't anywhere close to being done."

Luffy pouted. "But…"

"Oi, what the hell, Ero-Cook?" Zoro stood up from where he had been sitting, and rounded on the cook. "What kind of crap are you spilling on me?"

Sanji, for once, didn't feel like fighting. "Don't look at me." He pointed at Luffy. "This idiot knocked it out of my hand." He bent over and picked up the shards of the broken bottle. He shrugged, and tossed them overboard. He turns away from the side of the ship and looks at Luffy and Zoro, who were getting into a fight over whose fault it was that Zoro got wet. Sanji glanced to the side, and noticed Robin's expression was…strange. He'd never seen anything like it on the beautiful archaeologist's face. She looked confused, and yet her face remained blank, her mouth was slightly open. She was staring at Zoro.

Sanji frowned. "Robin-chan?"

Robin shook herself. "Oh, what? Oh, right, what did you want Cook-san?"

"Are you alright? You seem a little…dazed."

Robin placed her bookmark in her book and set it down on the coffee table. "I feel fine, but I think I'll go lie down in my quarters for a little while." She stood up and headed up towards the women's quarters, slightly faster than she would usually walk. Passing Luffy and Zoro she glanced at them from the corner of her eyes, and sped up. Sanji spared a glance at the two idiots, and noticed that Zoro had taken off his shirt, and was wringing it dry over Luffy's head.

"OI, ZORO, WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Luffy yelled as he shook the liquid out of his hair.

"IT'S YOUR FAULT I GOT THIS CRAP ALL OVER ME. FAIR'S FAIR."

The door to the women's quarter slammed open. Luffy and Zoro stopped their fight, cringed, and slowly turned to look up at an irate Nami.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH MY WORK…Eh, Robin?"

Robin hurried past Nami, and closed the door to their room behind her. Nami shrugged and turned back to the guys. Luffy had his vest off and was wringing the liquid out of it onto the deck. He looked up at her and grinned. "Sorry Nami, Zoro got something spilled on him and then he got it all over me. We'll be quiet."

Sanji looked up at Nami, whose mouth was opening and closing soundlessly, her gaze focused on Luffy, who was shaking the rest of the moisture out of his vest. Sanji felt his stomach sink when he saw how furiously red Nami's face was turning. He glanced over to the side of the ship he'd thrown the remains of the bottle over. No way!

"Right…well, if you guys can't control yourselves, then I'm…uh…just be quiet okay?" She hurriedly opened the door and followed after Robin. Tentatively the door opened again. "And, uh, get the ship ready to leave, we don't have to wait for the log pose to set anymore, and this place is freaking me out. People keep trying to sell me weird stuff." The door closed again.

"Funny," said Ussopp. "I wonder why she wouldn't come out of the room to say that last bit?"

"Well, she's right," said Luffy, who'd just noticed Brooke and Franky climb up the walkway. "Let's get ready to leave. This place is boring. People keep talking about science, and weird stuff. It really isn't very interesting."

Sanji, who was lost in his thoughts, didn't snap out of it until he felt the ship moving. Realizing that they were leaving, and more importantly, that the old man's elixir worked, and even more important than that, there wasn't any left, he quickly jumped to the side of the ship. "Wait, there's still something…" He was grabbed by Chopper, in his heavy point form.

"Come on Sanji, help me get the sails," Chopper pulled his crewmate, oblivious to the other's dilemma, along to help get the Thousand Sunny underway.

Sanji groaned to himself, as the island fell out of view. This boat was going to turn into a nightmare for him.


Nami sat, her back against the cabin door, gasping for breath. Her chest heaved with each new breath as she tried to regain control over her body. Her face, and what part of her upper torso was visible, was beet red.

"What," she gasped, "What the heck was that?"

Robin, whose face was a brighter red than Nami, shook her head. "I…I don't know."