I don't believe Mario's last name is Mario.

Part 5

Warning: Some strong language

By Stephen Paget

I don't believe it. I never thought I'd ever make a fifth part to this. I guess I'm just full of ideas. More on the bad luck Mario would have if he really was named Mario Mario.

Scene 1 The Mario Brothers home.

Mario is sitting on a couch watching the T.V. He is watching a quiz show.

Host (On television): For this chance to win 20 games for the Wii. Just answer this question. What year did the first Sonic game appear? Calls only cost 1 gold coin. Just dial the following number on the screen.

Mario: Hmmm...Just one coin? I think I'll give it a shot.

(He dials the number)

The host on the T.V hears the number and answers.

Host: Yes?

Mario: The answer is 1991!

Host: Congratulations! What's your name!

Mario: Mario Mario.

Host: Er...I think we've got some problem on your phone. You said Mario twice.

Mario: That's my name! Mario Mario!

Host: Sir, call back when you get your phone fixed.

(Hangs up) Mario is shocked.

Mario: DAMNIT! DAMNIT! DAMNIT! WHAT'S THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING A FUCKING PHONE IF EVERYBODY I GIVE MY NAME TO HANGS UP ON ME!

Scene 2 : Mario brothers home (again)

Luigi: Mario. I'm expecting an important package today, and I need to go meet Daisy at the mall. Will you get the door if it rings?

Mario: Sure, bro!

Luigi: I need you to do this. The car is broken and it's a long distance to the post office. It's about over an hour's walk.

Mario: What are brothers for?

At this Luigi leaves. Some time later the doorbell rings. Mario answers it.

Mailman: Hello I have a package for a Luigi Mario?

Mario: Oh he's out.

Mailman: Oh well he needs to sign this.

Mario: I'll do it.

Mario signs it and hands it to the mailman.

Mailman: Sir, you've accidentally written your last name twice.

Mario: My name is Mario Mario.

Mailman: Right, if you're gonna put fake names. Maybe Luigi Mario should come and get this package himself.

The mailman takes the package and walks off. Mario closes the door.

Mario: Arrrggghhhhhh! Luigi's gonna kill me!

Scene 3: A golf course. The Mario Golf courses.

Mario and Luigi have played through a game of golf in a golfing competition. They have finished the game and are waiting for the manager on top of a stage to announce the winner.

Luigi (To Mario) : I'm telling you, bro. I've won, I've always been better than you at golf!

Mario: As if! I totally creamed you.

Manager: And the winner is Mario...

(At this Mario screams with joy)

Mario: Yes! YES!

(Seeing as Mario shouts so loud, the manager doesn't get to finish what he's saying)

Mario runs on the stage in front of the tons of people watching him, takes the trophy, and then takes the mike.

Mario: Thank you so much! But you should know better than you can't beat ol' Mario at golf!

Manager: You're not Luigi Mario!

Mario: What?

Manager: I mentioned the last name first. If you let me finish. I would have said the winner is Mario. Luigi Mario.

Mario: Oh no.

The audience starts laughing loudly at Mario. Mario grows extremly embarrassed, drops the trophy and runs off. Luigi walks on the stage and takes the trophy.

Luigi: Thank you everybody. This year's golfing competition was great. See you next year.

Later Mario and Luigi are driving home in their car. Mario is covering his face with his hat, enormously embarrassed and crying slightly.

Luigi (Thinking to himself): Tch...seeing as I have a name which makes more sense. Makes me wonder why it's me who's the shy one in the games and he isn't the cowardly wimp. Well at least Nintendo had more common sense when it came to Wario and Waluigi. According to the Mario Party games, least they gave them the name of the Wicked Bros and not the Wario bros.

THE END FOR NOW.

(And yes that fact about Wario and Waluigi is true, if you want proof just play Mario Party 5 and put Wario and Waluigi into a team, they're called the Wicked Brothers not the Wario brothers. Heh...Wario Wicked and Waluigi Wicked. Nice.)