AN : Grimmjow x Ichigo. Ichigo's POV. Takes place in the real world where everyone is human. (But that DOESN'T mean they aren't in character.)

Multi-chap based on several one-shots from Burritos and Tequila. I don't own the characters or any real products mentioned. I do own the story. Don't rip it or I will come after you.

Rated MA for strong sexual content involving males, implied sexual content involving males/females, strong language, adult situations, adult content, alcohol and drug use.

COMMUNITY DISCLAIMER: All characters depicted in sexual situations in this post/fanfiction/fanart (including material in the comments) are fictional and are intended to be and considered to be by the author of said material of the legal age of consent in the United States state of Ohio, regardless of what age these characters may be in the material they are derived from.

Office Space v2.0

The first time I saw Grimmjow Jeagerjacques, I knew that he would be the downfall of my life. Not just my professional life or my personal life, but my sexual life, my romantic life, my social life and my family life. I don't know what it was about him that made me squirm in my chair so uncomfortably. Maybe it was the way his sleeves were pushed up just far enough to keep the women wet or it could have been that electric blue hair and those matching eyes.

There was a group of us interviewing together, all of us fighting for the same coveted spot within TerraTech Industries. I remember that none of us did real well with the interview. I think I said maybe three more words the entire time, mostly because of how threatened he made me feel. I didn't hear one word that any other poor saps said because I was too busy staring at this blue haired devil because he was staring straight back at me.

I started working there a week later. Before I knew it, I managed to score the often rumored 'fluke job'. I certainly wasn't the most qualified of the applicants, but then again the interviewer didn't ask one question about our work skills. No, Grimmjow asked questions about our personal lives and random things such as our stance on the recent move to pull smoking out of all public places.

"Don't disappoint me, Kurosaki," he had said to me the day I started. That day, I began a journey that would change the way I looked at everything. It changed the way I looked at men, women, children, work, sex, inter-office relationships, food, the military, green energy, cars, playboys, and myself. He stuck me in ways that aggravated me and excited me at the same time.

Actually, and don't get me wrong on this; I hate Grimmjow Jeagerjacques. I loath him. I want to slit his throat open and laugh as his blood pools on the plush white carpet lining his corner office. It's not envy of his position, his good looks or his luck with women. It's nothing that I can even pinpoint or describe. I just want to cut him open and fuck the wounds, if only for my own shits and giggles.

Morbid? I know. I can't help the way he makes me feel. Between the sculpted body he hides behind extremely expensive, extremely tailors dress shirts to the strands of hair that were always in his eyes, I just wanted to end him. Everything about him disgusted me. He didn't know the meaning of restraint in any manner of his life. He drove a Mercedes. He wore Prada. He smoked cloves. There was a different woman under his arm every week and the more I looked around, the people I worked with were all hired by him and were all so attractive that it hurt. Is that why I had landed his job? I was flattered, sort of.

I stormed into his office one Tuesday and tossed a red folder onto his desk, "I'm not doing this job," I snapped at him.

"And why not?" his eyes pierced through the front I had spent all morning putting up.

"Because it's not in my job description to handle exterior work, I don't know how to do it," I stated firmly.

"Then we'll just have to take this as a learning curve, work with Mary until it is done," he said, glancing back to his computer screen. Probably looking at porn.

I could feel the anger building up, "No, I'm not working with Mary on this one."

"Give me one good reason," Grimmjow said through his fingers as he clicked away on the mouse.

"She looks at me funny," I said stupidly.

"Alright Kurosaki," he said with a sigh and looked back to me, "I want you on this project because I think you have the right face to pull this off."

"What do you mean?" I asked with a furrowed brow.

"I mean, the client is represented by a board made up of seven women and two men. I don't need a woman on this job because women hate women," he said with a grin.

I understood what he meant, but I still didn't understand why I was the one working on this.

"It'll give you more experience," he said as he stood up and walked around the desk, "Plus I have a fantastic ace up my sleeve."

"That is?"

He leaned against the glass top and crossed his arms with a devilish smile, "How do you think a group of up and coming women will react to two extremely attractive men flirting in their conference room?"

I could feel the color drop out of my face. I could see him realize how wildly uncomfortable I suddenly was. I could see those gears turning inside his head.

"Exactly. This job will be as good as ours if we can get those ladies wondering what comes next," he said calmly. "Now get out. And I want this done by this time tomorrow," he said, waving that red folder around in my face.

The next thing I knew, the plans were done and I was racing downtown with all the information. He was waiting for me with a nonchalant look on his face when I finally managed to rush into the massive granite building that housed seven women that could make or break my current employment. But there he was, sitting with his ankle on his knee and his tie undone slightly. He made skanky look positively sexy.

"You always run it this close?" he asked with a cocked eye brow.

"Bad traffic, I'm sorry!" I apologized quickly, using my leg to keep the rolled plans from spilling all over the floor.

He just stared at me, "Uh huh. It done?"

"Yeah, I swear it is."

"It better be, because if you make me look like a fucking ass today, I'm going to kill you," he snapped at me.

A petite woman with huge tits walked up to us suddenly and spoke carefully, "They are ready for you now, please come with me!"

"Stop staring at her ass," I whispered under my breath as we weaved through the hallways.

"No can do," Grimmjow said with a smile, "It's so nice I can't help myself."

"It's disgusting."

"Then walk in front of me so I can stare at your ass instead," he said too loudly. "That way I can imagine all the things I want to do to it and you would never know the difference."

"Shut up," I grumbled, red splashed across my face like a fire.

"You know you're flattered," Grimmjow muttered as the woman pushed a door open and we slid into the brightly lit room. I was flattered, but I would never tell him that.

We shook hands with everyone and got on with presentation. He kept throwing the most salacious glances at me as I spoke to the group about the one-of-a-kind engineering that held up the floors. I could feel the chills sneaking up my spine as he sat with an arm outstretched on the table and an eye brow raised in amusement.

When he stood to continue to presentation, I almost froze in horror as I felt his hand skim the shirt covering my lower back as I took a seat. Of course, as it always does with him, it only got worse as his half of the presentation came to an end. He walked right behind my chair, folded his arms over the back and leaned over me.

"Any questions?" he asked with a smile. I forced myself to look up from the loose thread that was sticking out of the crotch of my pants. I saw seven pairs of extremely interested eyes. That bastard, he knew the women would be all over his dick if they thought he was unattainable. I took note of the four women that he probably deemed attractive enough to fuck and realized that I was a pawn in his game to get what he wanted.

We landed the job and he landed a redhead with huge tits. And as they exchanged personal information under the pretense that she was to be officially in charge of making sure we got our shit done, I gathered up our information and left the room quietly.

"You will be over later to get the full sized plans?" I heard him ask with that drawl in his voice that I only heard when someone's dick was half-cocked.

"Yes," she giggled, "Just as soon as I finish a few things here."

"Okay," I could hear him winking, disgusting bastard, "Oi! Ichigo wait up!" I heard him yell after me. I kept walking. I didn't want anything to do with him. He was a world class asshole and I wanted nothing more than to leave him there.

But no, he caught up while I was waiting for the elevator and ruffled the back of my hair. "See? I told you we'd get this job."

"You're disgusting," I said quietly.

"What was that?" he asked as the elevator opened.

"You're a tool," I said as the door closed and we began the descent down the 85 floors that we were perched on top of.

He smiled, "And why do you say that?"

"She has no idea that you just played all of them!" I snapped.

"Are you saying that we can't handle this job?"

"I didn't say that," I began stuttering, "I just mean that you need to tread carefully because if you get on her bad side she can yank the job out from under us."

"I see what this is about," he said with a demonic grin. "It's getting so clear." His hand was resting on the wall behind me and I could feel the warmth rolling off his body.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered, that damned heat creeping across my cheeks again.

"You're just mad because I'm using you to get what I want," he laughed. I could smell his cologne that was barely there and realized that the only people who got to take in just how good he smells ended up naked and screaming by the end of the night.

"I don't care what you do, it's not like my job isn't benefiting from this either," I wasn't lying either.

God, his lips were so close I could almost taste them, "Are you sure, Kurosaki?" I didn't say anything. I couldn't think of anything to say because I had no idea how to feel. I'd never been in a situation like this and it was positively annoying. All I wanted to do was close that fraction of an inch that separated us and fuck him in the elevator. Wait, did I really want that?

The door opened and I watched as he grabbed a few of the tubes from my hand and slung them over his shoulder. My legs were frozen for a few seconds as he strolled out of the small silver box and walked into the giant brown marble lobby. He didn't turn around to yell at me, he didn't even turn his head to make sure I was following behind him.

But I was. I scrambled to get everything in my arms and hurried to catch up and suddenly I was scolding myself for staring at his ass. I rode with him back to the office in silence. Apparently, since he drove a one hundred thousand dollar car he got to drive bat-shit crazy, which I didn't enjoy in the least.

I was back in my cubicle before three. By four, he was invading my personal bubble for the millionth time that day. It was getting very old, very quickly.

Slamming down a purple folder on my desk he smiled, "Hope you don't have any plans tonight, because you're gonna stay here and work on this."

I almost moaned in annoyance, but I didn't. "What is it?"

"Veronica project, all the stuff is in there," Grimmjow said as he picked at his fingernails.

I peered into the folder and my heart sank, "Another mall? I'm already sick of these. Can't you give me something interesting."

"Oh, one of these days you'll get something interesting," he said as he began to leave my work space. "You've got to earn it though."

"You mean I have to sleep with you," I said sarcastically.

I shivered almost violently as he ran a finger down my hair line behind my ear, "That certainly is the quickest way," he said with a laugh and walked away. Leaving me at half mast and angrier than hell.

I was there until one in the morning. I don't know what time he left, if he did at all, because I could still hear the screaming that was pouring out of his office that hadn't stopped for what seemed like hours. I really hope he doesn't piss that woman off, we needed the job.

AN : Thus begins the story I originally wanted to write.