Summary: One day, Pein gets sick and Konan has to take charge. But the whole Akatsuki just won't follow because she's a woman! And what chaos would induce if a certain doctor was to get involved?

Rated T for coarse language


One day, everything was normal in the Akatsuki base. Sasori was the first one to wake up. He headed for the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. But he was stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed something strange.

"Wait a minute…"

He sniffed the air for that familiar smell that was absent that day.

"Why don't I smell the fresh scent of coffee in the morning like I used to?"

Curious, he continued his steps to the kitchen and opened the door. The leader wasn't there.

"That's odd… He's always the first one up before anyone of us…"

His voice sounded skeptical.

"Good Morning… Sasori no Danna…"

A voice yawned. He saw Deidara still half asleep walking towards him.

"Deidara, have you seen the leader? He's not here…"

"He's not? But he's always here before any of us…"

"I know…"

Later on, as more of the members began waking up, they became even more suspicious.

"C'mon guys, give him a break… He must be sleeping late these days because he's real tired and stressed out."

Konan stated, trying to calm all the men who were going in a panic.

"Do you have proof of your statement?"

Itatchi asked.

"Alright, you want me to go wake him up? Fine! Let's all go! I'll show you all that there's nothin' to worry about and that he's just sleeping…"

They all went upstairs, directly in front of the leader's quarters.

"Tobi scared. Tobi never been to leader-sama's room before!"

Tobi said, clinging behind Zetsu.

Konan knocked on the door gently.


No answer.


Still no answer.

Konan was beginning to worry.

"Pein! Open the damn door!"

She yelled, knocking even louder than before.

"And she told us not to panic…"

Kakuzu muttered under his breath.

They knocked many times and still no answer came. Not even a sound.

"That's it!"

Hidan said walking towards the door, bringing out his scythe.

"I'm breaking in!!!"

He yelled.

He swung his scythe at the door and it impaled itself. He pulled it back with much force and ripped out the door.

"You're paying for that, Hidan. Not me…"

Kakuzu said, following the others in.

"Oh Shut the fuck up, Kakuzu!"

Hidan yelled at him.

Konan peeked into the desk he usually worked in and found no one there.

"Hah! I told you all! No leader on the desk means the leader's in bed!"

Konan yelled with pride.

"Well yeah, but let's just check to make sure…"

Kisame suggested.


They opened another door that led to Pein's real bedroom and not his office. And yes, he was in bed, but he didn't look that well. Konan laid her hand on his forehead to see if anything was wrong.

"It's nothing serious, he just has a fever. That's all."

She announced.

"The leader… Sick?"

Then they all went laughing their guts out. But then, Konan threw them a serious look that made them stop.

"You're not kidding, are you?"

Sasori asked.

"Does it look like I am? And so for the meantime I declare myself leader! You all have to obey what I say."

The men were stunned by her statement.

"FUCK NO! I'm never taking orders from a girl!"

Hidan yelled out loud.

"Besides, give us two fucking reasons to obey someone like you."

"Alright. 1. I am Pein's second in command and 2. I'll have him dispose of all of you by the time he's recovered…"

She said in a threatening tone of voice.

"Ok… What do you want us to do?"

Kisame shrugged.

"Zetsu, I want you to be in charge of the medicine. Deidara, Sasori, I want you all to be in charge of the food. Everyone else, you're gonna be the defenses and the ones to go on missions if needed."

"What will Tobi do? What will Tobi do?!"

The excited masked blob jumped up and down.

"Tobi you will gotta help me with the leader."


Tobi cried out in joy, jumping around the room.

"Ok, everyone… You may go now!"

She said, proudly taking on her position as temporary leader. She begun to act like one too as if Pein's spirit transported into her body.

She sat on the big chair behind the desk and felt much like a leader already.

"This is gonna be a different kind of mission…"

She muttered to herself.