Joke: How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?
Write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
A/N: The second installment to Blonde. I don't know how far I'm gonna run with this, I think at least one more chapter. I hope I can make you chuckle.
Snape prowled around his classroom watching over, always watching carefully, his seventh year N.E.W.T class. The room was completely silent of all voices, but the usual hissing of a potion, rustling of papers, the sound of a knife blade on a chopping board and the occasional splash of an ingredient being added filled the hushed room, and they seemed to soothe Snape.
He walked past Potter who was slicing doxy wings and getting ready to add them to his smoking cobalt potion. Snape looked closely at Potter's face, realizing there was a look on it that didn't leave Severus with a warm fuzzy feeling. Snape walked past Harry, ignoring the nagging feeling that something was going to go wrong and moved from the Gryffindor side of the room to the Slytherin side. He paused as he walked past Draco.
"Mr. Malfoy," he spoke in a soft voice that made his student quiver. The blond froze in his movements. "Is there a reason why you have yet to start your potion when you only have fifteen minutes left of class?" Snape heard stools squeak and groan as his other students looked up from their potions and shift to get a better view of what was going on with the blushing blond in front of him. Snape noticed Draco move to stuff something into his robes, but caught his arm and saw the blond clutching something in his fist.
"Relax your hand," Snape ordered quietly, but firmly. After several seconds Draco obeyed. A piece of wrinkled parchment fell into Snape's waiting hand. The class around him held their breath as he unfolded it,
The words please turn over were neatly printed on the parchment in black ink. Snape did as the words instructed and found the same message written on the opposite side. It only took Severus seconds to figure out the joke. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes clenched shut.
"You've been sitting here turning this piece of parchment over again and again this whole class?" he asked in an icy tone. Draco nodded silently, his jaw set, staring straight ahead at the wall across the room. "And where did you get this note?" Draco sent a glare somewhere behind Snape who turned around and scanned his eyes over his class. Everyone was looking at him and Draco, everyone except a messy black back of a head that was still bent over his cauldron and Snape instantly knew what happened. He swept over to where Harry was sitting and stood over him.
"Mr. Potter," he said in a deadly voice that made Harry freeze. "Explain yourself." He laid the crumpled piece of parchment on the table next to his student. Harry looked up at Snape with large, innocent green eyes that seemed to be magnified by his large round glasses. He blinked once, twice, before he smiled a smile that Snape knew never meant anything good.
"What's to explain sir?" Harry asked. "I just proved that Malfoy can follow directions perfectly, simple directions, but directions all the same." There were a few snorts and laughs that were covered up by coughs. Snape's left eye twitched.
"You had your doubts?" Snape asked with a raised eyebrow. Harry nodded.
"Yes professor, you see--"
"I've handed in a perfect potion every time for the past seven years Potter!" Malfoy yelled across the room. "The same can't be said about you!"
"You only passed because Snape played favorites!" Harry yelled back. Snape reached over and cuffed Harry in the back of the head.
"Silence!" he hissed glaring at the two students staring daggers at each other in front of him. "Potter, you will finish your potion and what ever grade you receive will be given to Mr. Malfoy."
"Professor--!" Harry began to protest, but Snape cut him off.
"You will do as I say and remain after class!" he growled and Harry knew better then to push his luck. "And if you do anything less then your usual pitiful attempt and purposefully spoil you potion, there will be hell to pay! Do you understand me Potter?"
"Yes sir," Harry said tightly, his cheeks growing warm. He sent a glare in Malfoy's direction. The blond smirked back arrogantly.
"Now get back to work. All of you!" Snape barked and everyone did as they were told.
Severus Snape sat at his desk as the last of his seventh years filed out of the class room. He sat massaging his temple, willing his headache away.
"What in Merlin's name gave you any inkling that you could pull that kind of shit and get away with it?" he asked Harry who stood in front of his desk. At least his student had the decency to look abashed. Harry shrugged.
"I just wanted to see if—"
"You will not make a mockery of my classroom!" Snape snarled slamming his hand down on his desk. Harry startled and fell silent, looking down at the ground.
"I'm sorry Professor," Harry murmured. Severus sighed running a hand through his hair, sitting back in his chair studying his young partner and student. This situation needed to be handled delicately.
"Potions is a very exact and pristine branch of magic. You can not fool around in a Potion's classroom, the consequences can be severe," Snape explained quietly. Harry nodded.
"I'm sorry Professor, it seemed like a good idea at the time," Harry said. He still didn't bring his head up to meet his professor's gaze, finding something extraordinarily on the toe of his trainers. Snape smirked at Harry.
"Yes, most thoughts do seem like 'a good idea at the time'," Snape stood and walked around his desk and stood in front of Harry who looked up at him. "You will return here tonight at eight o'clock to brew today's potion again."
"Yes sir," Harry answered, knowing he was getting off easy.
"Then you will remain here after words and help me with the semi-annual inventory of the potions storage."
"Yes sir," Harry murmured again.
"And just because you have defeated the Dark Lord does not mean you can not make new enemies," Snape warned.
"I know sir," Harry answered.
"Don't push Draco too hard, he may seem harmless, but he can be as hot headed as your Weasley friend." Harry smiled slightly at this.
"Now, give me a kiss and get to class," Snape said briskly in teacher mode again. Harry smiled even wider.
"Yes sir," he said before pecking Severus on the lips quickly and turned to leave. Severus grabbed him by the arm and roughly pulled Harry back to him. Harry looked up at him in confusion.
"I said I wanted a kiss," he growled lowering his lips against Harry's. "Not some impish brush of the lips!" Harry smirked.
A/N: so being blonde makes this that much more fun to write. This blonde joke I found myself, but the one from the first chapter was actually used on me, so I some idea about Draco's feelings. I think only one more after this. Let me know if you want it to stay T rated or if I should bump it up to M.