A/N: Hi readers, before I let you read the story, I just want you to know that this was supposed to happen after "Killing Me Softly with His Height.", but I just realized that this doesn't exactly run with the story of Sophie asking Oliver out. For the sake of the story, let's ignore that tiny little detail, even though that was probably my favourite scene of the episode. Anyway, like usual, please read and review.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Hannah Montana and the likes of.
"What's crack-a-lackin' Lil-lay?" Oliver greeted Lilly as he sat himself down at one of Rico's tables.
"Stop embarrassing yourself Oliver." Lilly said before she bit into a fry. She looked around and asked with her mouth full. "Where's Joanie?"
He looked at her with disgust while he reached for a fry. "Real nice Lilly."
She waved her hand dismissively. "We've already had this discussion, I can't get dates because", she made air quotes with her fingers, and said, "I eat like a pig."
Oliver looked at her pointedly. "You do."
She shoved him slightly out of frustration. "Shut up Oliver and answer my question."
He twisted around uncomfortably in his seat. "I broke up with her." He stated quietly.
"What?" Lilly screamed at him, pressing her hands to the table to stand up. "She was perfect for you! How could you do that? What did you do?!"
Oliver made hushing sounds while standing up, "Would you keep it quiet please? People are staring." He looked over her shoulder. "Nothing to see here, just practicing some lines…for a play. She's really into character. Great, isn't she? " He gave a nervous laugh and pushed her down to her seat.
"Tell me what happened." Lilly questioned.
"Well…" he tried to slide away from the topic.
"Okay, okay, fine." He put his arms up protectively. "Just don't hurt me." Lilly shoved him again, but this time he fell over. "Ow," Oliver got up, brushed himself off, and gave Lilly a dirty look. "Would it kill you not to physically injure me?"
Lilly put her finger to her lips. "Hmmm, let me think, YES! Now get on with story."
"There is no story. I just wasn't that attracted to her."
"Whatever, don't you remember when you started going out with her, you went all glassy-eyed and dazed. It sickened me."
"Of course, I remember. You told me not to ask her out, which by the way I didn't. And sure she is nice looking but there are so many things that she could do to make herself look so much better."
"You are so shallow."
"We already had this discussion Lil-lay."
"Don't use my words against me. Besides, Joanie is pretty."
"Yeah, but she doesn't wash her hair that often and she never puts on make-up. I mean I know you girls are into that whole natural look, but there's natural and then there's 'natural'. Not to mention, I think I have a thing for blondes." He stared at blonde girl as she walked by. Nodding his head, he greeted the girl, "Hey there baby."
The girl looked at him pityingly. "I have a boyfriend." She bent over slightly. "And he's huge, try to not get hurt." She laughed as she walked away.
"Nice one, Oken." Lilly laughed at the shut down. "And that would explain why you were so in love with Hannah, but not with Miley." She folded her arms in front her. "But still, I like Joanie, we have a lot in common. Why don't you just ask her to dye her hair or something?"
"Okay, firstly, I am not in love with Miley not because she's a brunette, but because she's Miley. Secondly, ask Joanie to dye her hair? Do you want me to be murdered?" Oliver exclaimed.
"Oh come on, Joanie's not that bad." Lilly frowned. "Well she can be. Hey remember that time that I shaved off half her head?" She laughed and sighed. "Good times."
"For you maybe. Do you realize how many times I've had to listen to her complain about how you make her life a living hell? Honestly, I think it would have been better for me if you just let her win a couple times in gym class soccer."
"Hey, I thought she liked me because of my sporty-ness." Lilly cried out defensively. "See if I ever let her win now."
"That's the thing though; she's really great for me because she's athletic and not so girly like Miley or Becca but it would be nice if she tried to make herself presentable."
"So let me get this straight, you want a girl who cares about appearance, is blonde and is athletic?" Lilly questioned Oliver as she leaned over to him.
"Pssh, good luck with that." Lilly sat back in her seat. They sat there in silence for a bit before Lilly spoke up again. "So what did you end up telling Joanie?"
"I told her that I was in love with someone else. I figured she would hurt me less by telling her a lie than telling her I'm completely superficial. I do feel bad though, I didn't want to hurt her like the other guys she's dated before."
"Already had-" Lilly started.
"This conversation, I know." Oliver finished for her.
"How did she react to that?"
"I don't know, it was kinda weird actually." Oliver furrowed his eyebrows. "Now that I think about it, she gave me a look that said she already knew, but how can she know if it's a lie? Anyway, she pushed me to the ground, yelled at me and left."
"She pushed you? Oh that's it, she's really going down in gym class soccer."
"Lilly, chillax. I mean," Oliver scoffed and popped his collar. "I did just break her heart."
Lilly rolled her eyes. "Get real. Anyway, I guess that's that. I'm hungry, let's split a bag of chips."
"You just had fries!"
"So?" Lilly looked at him.
"Get BBQ flavoured, and this time, share."
"Hey y'all." A southern voice twanged out.
"Hey Miley." They both greeted her.
"What are you up to?" She asked as she sat down in Lilly's vacant seat.
"Nothing, we're just getting a bag of chips, Oliver split up with Joanie and now we have to find him a blonde, athletic girl who cares about how she looks like. We couldn't think of anyone who fit that description."
Miley's mouth dropped open and looked at them stunned for a moment before saying "Blonde, athletic pretty girl say what?"
Oliver and Lilly's eyes widened as they processed what Miley just said. They simultaneously looked at Lilly and then at each other, their mouths falling open with a gasp.
A/N: I hope you liked it! Again, comments are really appreciated so review please.