Disney owns the characters; I'm just taking them for a test drive.

For Ricardo Montalban.


This wasn't how she envisioned her life three months after her wedding. She saw herself and her new husband traveling the world, seeing the sights and making love at a moment's notice. But instead she was crashing at the home of her high school rival, spending her days watching trashy soap operas, and just seething about the fact that she had to play nice with her onetime nemesis.

This particular morning she was up a lot earlier than she was used to; it was 7:30 am and she normally didn't get up until well after noon. But for whatever reason, her body decided it was time to wake up. Giving up on going back to sleep, the former Bonnie Rockwaller slipped out of bed and made for the kitchen. It would be a little while until Ron Stoppable woke up and made one of his award winning breakfasts, so she decided to put a pot of coffee on to brew and read the paper while she waited. "Another day in loser heaven," she said to herself.


Three Months Ago

"Okay, this dude's one of the five richest people in the world, and he has spinning tops of doom. So why are we here playing security guards?" Ron Stoppable, along with his fiancee Kim Possible, were sitting in the rafters of a large hall that had been recently built on the island lair of Senor Senior Senior. Kim was wearing her white and blue battle suit while Ron was wearing his standard mission uniform of a black turtleneck and grey cargo pants; when one had Mystical Monkey Power, a high tech battle suit wasn't necessary. Truth be told, Kim wasn't sure hers was needed right now, either.

"Sorry, Ron," Wade Load said over the Kimmunicator in Kim's suit. "The Seniors are worried about security for Junior's wedding, so they contacted us."

"Yeah, but they're the bad guys," Ron complained. "Since when do we help the bad guys?"

"Amp down, Ron," Kim said. "The Seniors haven't tried anything since Junior and Bonnie hooked up. I don't see a problem with lending a hand."

"Mmm hmm, yeah, interesting," Ron mused, rubbing his chin. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to with with seeing how big Bonnie's wedding bash is gonna be compared to ours?"

Kim's eyes narrowed. "You were listening in on me and Monique, weren't you?"

"Uh, KP, you were kinda ranting last week. I heard you all the way in the backyard. Over the lawnmower. I think the whole neighborhood was listening in." Ron's face fell a little. "I thought you were happy with what we came up with," he said in a small voice.

Kim gave her man a quick reassuring peck on the lips. "I am happy with it, Ron, it's just that Bonnie always has to one up me. She got a more elaborate engagement ring than I have," Kim saw the pained look on Ron's face, "which is just way too gaudy for me. I love the one you gave me. And she's basically throwing the party of the millenium for her reception."

"And you think she's doing it to spite you."

Kim bit her lip. "Am I that obvious?"

"Only to me," Ron replied with one of his trademark goofy grins. "Besides, it's not gonna be as big as she wanted, what with her dad footing the bill. The Rockwallers are well off, but not rich to the rafters like the Seniors."

"I know," Kim sighed. "I guess I'm just tweaked that Bonnie had to have her wedding a month before ours."

Unbeknownst to Team Possible, their entire conversation was being broadcast to the bridal suite. Under normal circumstances, Bonnie Rockwaller would have been more than happy to see her cheerleading rival jealing, but she was distracted by last minute fussing over her wedding dress.

"Oh, Bon Bon," her mother gushed. "You look so beautiful. Junior's not gonna know what hit him when he sees you at the altar."

From the corner of the room Bonnie could hear her older sisters huffing.

"Don't pay any attention to them, Bonnie," her maid of honor Tara King said. "They're just jealous that you're getting married before them."

Bonnie didn't say anything. This is just too weird, she thought. I'm getting married in half an hour. I should be like, totally nervous. But I'm not. I'd like to see K go to the altar looking this good and being this calm. Besides, I'm marrying a rich hottie and she's stuck with that loser.

"Bonnie?" It was Tara again. "You're being awfully quiet. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Bonnie replied with her usual flair. "I'm the bride. This is my party! And you know how much I love being the center of attention."

The wedding and the reception went off without a hitch, and the newlyweds left for their week long whirlwind globe trekking honeymoon. That honeymoon was the beginning of the end for their old life. A mere eight weeks after Bonnie and Junior returned to the island, Senor Senior Senior died of heart failure. That's why she was staying in the guest room of Kim and Ron Stoppable now, just three weeks after her storybook marriage went from fairytale to real life; after the kind man she came to know as Papa Senior had left this world.


When Bonnie trudged into the kitchen she saw that Kim and Ron were already there. They were in their mission clothes, but it looked like they had slept in them. Both Kim and Ron were disheveled, and had dark circles under their eyes. Bonnie didn't really care. Ron was up, and that meant only one thing. "Uh, where's breakfast?" she demanded.

Kim practically slammed a box of cereal down in front of her house guest. "Bowls are in the cupboard, milk's in the fridge. Bon appetite."

"But," Bonnie protested, "he always cooks breakfast." Ron's cooking was actually better than the kitchen staff on the Seniors' island. There had been talk of abducting Ron and putting him to work as their new chef.

"He doesn't always sleep for only an hour and a half after coming home from a mission at six in the morning, now does he?!" Kim snapped. "You want something other than a bowl of cereal, make it yourself!" Kim got an almost evil look on her face. "Or I could cook. We still have some oatmeal, don't we, Ron?"

"Cereal's fine!" Bonnie said in a near panic. She had heard about that long ago oatmeal incident and had no intention of living through that herself.

Ron started to stand up when Kim stopped him. "And just where do you think you're going?"

"To take a shower and get ready for work."

"The only place you're going is back to bed." Kim, now in mission mode, checked Ron's work schedule, which they had posted on the fridge. "According to this, you have the mid shift today. That means you're going back to bed for a while. Don't pick a fight with me on this, Ron; you'll lose." Kim sat down beside her husband at the kitchen table and took his hands. "We had that bad mission against Gemini's goons last night, and," her voice fell to a hushed whisper, "you had to use more of the MMP than you should have." Kim was still kicking herself about that. The Global Justice intel said the place was abandoned. The intel was wrong. I so should have had Wade check it out. "You need rest. I'm sure that the pet department can get by without you coming in early today. Don't make me call my mom about this."

Ron nodded in defeat and again tried to stand; this time Kim let him.

"Hey," she said, pulling him into a warm embrace, holding him as tightly to her as she could. "I love you. Don't forget that."

"Love you, too, KP. I'm gonna go crash. What time are you getting home?"

"My shift's over at two," Kim replied. The spring semester was long since over, but summer classes were being held, and the University of Upperton's athletic center was open for business. Even though Kim was taking summer classes to get even closer to her degree, she was working more hours now than she had been during the spring. "Hey, Rufus." The naked mole rat popped out of Ron's cargo pocket. "Make sure Ron gets some sleep, please and thank you." Rufus saluted and nodded. As soon as the bedroom door closed Kim sat down again and started rubbing her right shoulder.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I think I pulled something dodging Gemini's goon squad last night," Kim said. "I'm gonna log some time in the whirlpool after work, and see about getting a doctor's appointment at the health center to see how bad it is." Kim shot her former cheer squad rival a dirty look. "If you give him any grief today while I'm gone, I will so make you regret it."

"Chill, K," Bonnie said. "I'll be good."

"Like you even know how. You have been such the drama queen since you crashed here, Bonnie!"

"Like it's my fault my husband is a crazed super villain!"

Kim snorted. "Junior? Crazed? About being the next big pop star, maybe." Kim heard Bonnie let out an almost amused snicker. "What?"

"Nothing I want to tell you about." Bonnie adjusted her blue bathrobe a little. "Look, K, since this is your house and everything, I was wondering if you'd consent to me asking Tara to come by today."

"No need for the attitude, B. And yes, Tara can come by. Just don't bother Ron. I mean it."

Bonnie have Kim a mock salute and a dirty look. "Yes, ma'am," she sneered.

Kim muttered under her breath and left the table. She wasn't all that hungry now. Check on Ron, take a shower, and get the hell out of here, in that order. Kim shook her head. You know it's bad when you feel like an uninvited guest in your own house......


Ron left for the Mega Smarty Mart at 10:30 that morning, giving Bonnie the run of the house. Bonnie was just fine with that, as she had no desire for her visit with Tara being interrupted by Ron or Rufus.

At 12:45 Tara came to the door with a couple of deli sandwiches and a two liter of soda. "I thought I'd spring for lunch today," she happily said.

"I'm starving," Bonnie replied. "I like, had to settle for cereal this morning. It wasn't even close to filling."

The two friends sat at the kitchen table and silently dug in. Bonnie would look up occasionally, and she could tell that there was something on the blonde's mind. "Just go ahead and ask, Tara."

"Bonnie, what happened? I mean, I was there at the wedding and everything seemed perfect. Why did it all fall apart like that?"

Bonnie set her sandwich down and took a deep breath. "You really wanna know? Okay, I married an overgrown child, that's why it went to hell."

"Come on, Bonnie, Junior wasn't that bad, was he?"

"You'd be surprised. Before Papa Senior died, I decided that I wanted to star in a ballet. Papa financed it and everything........"


Three weeks ago

"Ah, Bonnie, that was beautiful," Senor Senior Senior said to his daughter-in-law. Bonnie Senior had just walked into the living room of the Senior's lavish island estate after getting herself cleaned up following the closing night of her show. "Swan Lake is my favorite ballet. Your dancing was absolutely perfect."

"Thank you, Papa," Bonnie said, hugging the older man. "I'm glad I was able to actually pull this off."

"Yes, we made a small fortune from your performances, my dear. Although," the older man sat down. "we probably could have taken the audience hostage and demanded a king's ransom for their safe return." He chuckled. "It would have been gloriously evil." Senior winced and clutched at his chest. Bonnie was immediately by his side. He had recently suffered a mild heart attack, and his health was steadily deteriorating.

"Have you taken your pills? Do I need to go get them?"

"I have taken my medicine," he panted once he got his wind back. Senior gave his daughter-in-law a sad yet grateful look. "I cannot thank you enough for coming into my son's life, Bonnie. You have made him so happy, and that makes me happy. Speaking of my son, where his he?"

Bonnie scowled. "He went to bed early. Again."

"Ah, still upset that you would not let him dance in your ballet, is he?"

"After the fifth time he dropped me in rehearsals, there was no way I was gonna let him have a lead role." Bonnie crossed her arms and huffed. "He just can't accept that he can't dance."

"You must understand, my dear, that Junior has a fragile ego. And he has aspirations of being a big star. Sometimes those aspirations are stronger than his skill."

"No kidding," Bonnie mumbled under her breath.

"Pay it no mind, Bonnie," Senior said in a reassuring voice. "I know my son loves you. In the end, that is what matters." Senior struggled to his feet. "And now, my child, I bid you good night. I do ask that, if you decide to do another ballet, at least consider incorporating some sort of evil scheme. It would make an old man very happy."

"Good night, Papa."

"Good night, my dear. I will see you in the morning."


"I never saw him again," Bonnie said with a sniff. "He died in his sleep that night."

Tara reached for her friend's hands. "I'm so sorry, Bonnie. I know how much you cared about him."

"I loved that man like he was my own father. He was so kind to me. It wasn't fair. But that was only the start of it. I finally had what I deserved," Bonnie said with a scowl. "I had the rich hottie hubby, I was the star of my own production.... I was gonna get all the glory K stole from me in high school. I was the star, and I brought the house down! Then Papa died and it all fell apart.

"Junior was still throwing a temper tantrum about not starring in Swan Lake." Bonnie closed her eyes and looked down. "Did you know he kidnapped the Oh Boyz once because he wanted to be a pop star? Or that, when that Hollywood guy wanted to make a movie about K, he tried to get in on it? All he wants is to be famous. His hair brained schemes didn't work, so he got all bent out of shape when my ballet was a big hit. So about a week after Papa passed on, he had all my stuff packed up and kicked me off the island."

Tara reached for Bonnie's hand. "I'm sorry. That's terrible."

"It was so humiliating. I couldn't go home! I mean, Connie and Lonnie would have so rubbed my face in it. I couldn't stay with you since you live in the Alpha Phi house and I'm not part of the sorority. So I had to come stay here in loser central and see how happy K is. It's not fair."

"Life's not fair, Bonnie," Tara replied. "Think of how this is for Junior. His father was all the family he had until you came along. He's probably hurting worse than you are."

"It's fair for Kim and Ron!" Bonnie stood up and gestured at the walls. "I mean look at this! They had their perfect wedding, and now they have a nice house and the perfect life!" Bonnie slumped against the wall. "This is all their fault."

"How do you figure that, Bonnie?" Both Tara and Bonnie looked over and saw Kim walking into the kitchen.

"What are you doing home so early?" Bonnie demanded.

"I got sent to the health center because of my shoulder, which is fine, thanks for asking, and then I was sent home so I wouldn't make it any worse." Kim pulled up a chair and sat down. "So tell me how this is my fault, B."

"You knew Junior was a villain when you introduced us." Bonnie's voice was dripping with resentment.

"You are so flawed," Kim replied. "We didn't introduce you, remember? You wanted a boyfriend and decided to tag along with us when we were looking for Ricky Rotiffle to make sure we'd help you find one. After you tried to steal Ron away from me, that is." Kim tried to find a more comfortable position. "And for the record, we told you he was a bad guy before you brought him to the homecoming dance. I hate to break it to you, Bonnie, this isn't our fault!"

Bonnie sat down and leaned back in her chair. "Well it sure as hell isn't mine!"

"I'm confused," Tara said, rubbing her temples. "If you guys hate each other so much, then why is Bonnie staying here?"

"It's a long story," Kim said. "It all started with a hit on the website....."