A/N: So I never intended this story to go any farther than the first chapter, but Edward wanted to talk again. How could I say no to him? More Than a Dream is still up on my profile (first chapter told from Bella's perspective). I'll yap more at the end. Enjoy!
Truth is if someone had asked me yesterday to imagine my life at this very moment or even as it had happened over the last twenty-four hours; honestly, I'd have thought it clearly impossible. But, I suppose it's time to change my views of impossible.
I never asked her to love me, but she did somehow—unconditionally and irrevocably. She loved a monster and the monster that I am loved her back.
I am so selfish and masochistic. I am in far too deep.
Her warmth was not meant for my chill. Her soul was not meant to reside with my damnation. And yet the silly, beautiful, wonderful woman still loved me. It is so much more than I deserve. And she deserves so much more than I can give her in return.
Yet, here she is. Bella's tiny body cradled in my arms and her warm breath washing over my cool chest. With each gentle sigh and soft whisper of my name, I find myself falling more in love.
I continued to lie there, just watching my love sleep. The soft sunlight that filtered in through the blinds created a beautiful red glint to her dark hair. A smile pulled at the corners of my lips, noticing how in this light, her hair was a dark shade of my own. Beautiful.
Reaching out my hand, I gently ran my fingers through the silky strands. My senses were assaulted by her heavenly scent as my fingers moved. I wanted nothing more than to bury my face in her hair and never move again, permanently intoxicated. In sleep, Bella had other plans as her tiny body rolled further into mine, curling her head down farther on my chest and hitching her leg over my own. I was suddenly reminded that we were both still naked from the hours before, a boyish smile gracing my lips.
Bella's eyelids fluttered gently in dream. She seemed impossibly more innocent and pure and beautiful when she slept. In dreams, reality was her making. She could erase the hurt that I couldn't in the daylight and she could find her happy ending. The selfish part of me hoped beyond all hope that I was that happy ending. Bella was my life and I knew I couldn't exist without her. And yet, she had a future that could exist without me. I would do what needed to be done to ensure she found her happy ending. It was the least she deserved out of this life.
The longer I watched Bella in sleep, the more I wanted to get lost in her deep eyes. They spoke volumes of the world and her life and reflected back a sense of life I had never known before. They had a life of their own and gave me a sense of comfort I could have only ever imagined. Before my actions truly sank in, I found myself trying to rouse my angel from her dreams.
I ran a trail of cool kisses across Bella's jaw trying to rouse her from her dreams. A beautiful blush stained her cheeks as I continued my gentle attack of her jaw while my fingers busied themselves over the silky flesh of her stomach.
My name escaped her lips in the most beautiful whisper. Bella's eyes were still closed, but her lips parted in anticipation for whatever would come next.
My fingers slowly slid across her stomach were they had been tracing mindless designs leaving cool trails over the flesh. Reaching Bella's hip, I rolled her over and on top me. A deep hiss escaped from her throat.
"Bella?" I ask, the confusion evident in my voice.
She didn't speak, just squeezed her brown eyes shut. After a few deep breaths, her eyes opened and she gazed upon me through the veil of her lashes. "I'm just sore. I… I mean, my hip is a little sore," answering the silent question written on my face.
I gently pulled the covers down, exposing Bella's naked backside. My heart broke as I gazed down on her bruised flesh. Resting my hand on her hip, it fit perfectly within the deep purple print marring her ivory flesh.
How could I have been so careless? I promised Bella—I promised myself—that I would never hurt her again and here I was, having broken that promise within hours of making it. I was an evil, vile monster…
I rolled Bella off me as gently as I could with the anger and self-hate coursing through me. Just as swiftly, I found myself standing several feet from the bed. Her eyes were bewildered and questioning—and above all, they held an unfathomable hurt.
How many more times could I hurt her? She didn't deserve the pain. I was worth nothing for everything I had done.
Bella started to talk, but I cut her off. At this point I felt I didn't even deserve to hear her angelic voice.
"Bella, love, you deserve so much more. I hurt you. Marred your skin without so much as a thought. I promised I would never hurt you again and I failed you as soon as I promised it."
She shifted on the bed, fully sitting up as the covers lowered to expose more of the deep purple marks. Her hips. Her stomach. Her shoulders. Her arms.
"Edward, please listen."
"No Bella. I did the greatest thing I promised you I wouldn't. I never wanted to hurt you again and just look at the mess I've made," I nearly pleaded, motioning over towards her bruised body.
I couldn't bear to look at her any longer. Though bruised and battered by my hand, Bella was still the most beautiful creature to grace this world. I had no right to look upon her beauty. The bruises made that fact all to apparent. I turned my body, resting my forehead against the wall. My hand reached up to pinch the bridge of my nose—a habit I've carried for nearly a century.
"I'm sorry," I whispered into the air.
The bed shifted again, but I couldn't pull myself to turn around. I wanted nothing more than to run. Run from here. Run from the pain. Run if that meant I'd keep Bella safe. Yet, if I were being honest with myself, I wouldn't leave. I couldn't. Not unless Bella told me to. I am far too selfish to leave on my own again.
Two warm arms encircled me from behind as Bella pressed her still naked body against me, placing a soft kiss between my shoulder blades. Much of my tension melted away as it always does when I touch Bella. Her touch was like magic, calming the monster inside.
A deep sigh escaped me. It was the only outlet for the frustration and utter desperation I felt.
"Please, please listen to me this time," Bella whispered against my back, her fingers mindlessly tracing the muscles of my abdomen. I didn't say anything allowing Bella to continue. "I'm not as breakable as you expect me to be."
I snorted. I couldn't help it. To any normal man she may not be breakable, but I am anything but ordinary. I could kill her without a thought.
Her tiny hands were suddenly gripped around my arms, tugging my body to face hers. Anger flashed in her eyes.
"Edward Cullen. Now you listen to me. These bruises are nothing worse than I have ever given myself by falling down or running into things or tripping over air. So don't you for once try to tell me how bad this truly is. I. Am. Fine." Bella punctuated the last part loudly and pointedly while poking my chest.
She stood still, glaring intently into my eyes. I found myself getting distracted by Bella's breasts pressed against me, her nipples perked up from my chill. And though she said she was fine, her discolored flesh continued to beg me to believe otherwise.
"Love, you can't expect me to believe that you are fine." My hand gently grazed down her side towards her bare ass, wishing to rub out the purple marks with my touch. They were mocking me, causing my unnecessary breathing to hitch. "I'm so sorry," I whispered again, leaning forward to kiss the bruises that peppered her collarbone as well.
Her tiny hands pushed off of me hard as a deep, frustrated sigh escaped from her.
"I can't… Edward… God, I…. Listen… Ugh…" Bella stammered as she fumed. Her eyes were smoldering and her delicate brow creased further in frustration and anger and utter annoyance.
She started again. Though her voice was tiny, it held every ounce of anger and dominance that she could possibly manage. "Edward, I am honestly not as breakable as you make me out to be. I am not a child and I am not a china doll either. I am a woman and I want you to treat me as one."
Bella closed the little gap between our bodies, pressing herself fully against my chest again. My lower half relished the contact, becoming unbelievably hard. Traitor.
"Last night was better than anything I could have ever imagined and I would gladly be a walking, talking bruise if that meant last night wasn't just a dream or a fluke of nature. When will you see that a bruise means nothing to me, but you, you mean everything." She reached up, brushing her thumb over my cheekbone with the lightest touch. "I'd go to hell and back if that meant I could be with you. I did go to hell and back."
My eyes closed over as the words fought to sink in and the memories bombarded my thoughts. We stood there for what could have been seconds or minutes, engrossed in all the things we couldn't change. Through it all, Bella's thumb continued it's gentle exploration of my cheek. In that moment, I was putty in her hands.
Reaching up her other hand, Bella cupped my face and kissed my lips. It wasn't urgent and full of need and lust like last night. It held an unimaginable amount of love. Her lips pressed firmly against mine as if she was trying to make me understand her point, assuming her words had fallen on deaf ears.
I still found myself unconvinced that I deserved Bella or her love after everything I put her through. The pain of me walking away, leaving her broken on the forest floor; the pain of seeing me nearly throw the little life I have away to the sun; and the pain of me turning her ivory skin into purple blemishes. That ability to cause such an innocent creature pain made me the worst kind of monster.
"Bella, I'm a monster. Can't you see that?" I sighed. "Look in the mirror and tell me then that I am not a monster. I caused these," I whispered, running my fingers over her shoulders. "And these," I whispered again, as I moved my fingertips over her small hips.
Looking into Bella's expressive eyes told me she still saw otherwise. How she saw the better side of me, I will never understand. Yet, she saw into me, deeper than I could see myself.
"Love," she stated simply. "Love is what sets you apart from the monster you so claim to be. Monsters can't love. Soulless creatures can't love. You, Edward, are neither. You have the ability to love and you do. I felt it with every touch last night. I heard it in every soft whisper. I saw it written in your smile. You are a man that loves and is loved in return. Nothing else matters."
Bella's words felt so right and perfect, and yet so utterly wrong at the same time. I am still a man and I do love. I love her with anything and everything I am. I have waited ninety years for her. Yet, I am not the man she needs or deserves. Her bruised body is testament to that.
I groaned, ready to voice my thoughts. Bella deserves the truth. It's the very least I can do.
"Stop," she breathed, halting my attempts. "Stop trying to argue. I thought I lost you once, but you came back ready to love me again. You showed me that last night."
Her fingers were dancing across my chest as she spoke. The fiery feeling of her soft fingertips was indescribable in the most perfect way. The corners of Bella's full lips rose into her glorious smile as she spoke, "This isn't about humans and vampires. It's about Bella and Edward. This isn't about bruises and pain. It's about love and the lengths I am willing to go for it."
She was perfect in so many ways. I still didn't deserve her love or to be graced by her perfection. And yet, I was drawn to her, finding myself incapable of denying any desire she may wish.
"Bella…" I heard myself begin, but was swiftly silenced by Bella's soft lips against mine. I pulled away, wanting to say sorry again; to grovel; to do something, anything, to make this okay. "Bella, I…"
"Just." Kiss. "Shut." Kiss. "Up." Kiss.
Her kisses became more than the feather light touches of moments before. They became the physical embodiment of passion and raw lust. Her delicate tongue traced my lower lip begging for entrance. As if I could say no.
Between the heat of her mouth, her intoxicating flavor and the friction of her body pressed tightly to mine, I found myself hardening impossibly more. I'd never thought it was possible, but with Bella anything is possible. She makes my dead heart beat again.
A soft moan of Bella's stilled in my mouth as our lips continued crashing against the others. Her body rocked against mine causing me the sweetest of torture. Mine was humming with the electricity coursing between our naked flesh and crackling through the air of the room.
Bella was made for me—she silently called out to the depths of my being. I only had to wait ninety years to figure that out. Her body was made to fit mine. Her heart was made to beat for mine. Her love was made to remind me that I am still a man, though continually balanced against a monster.
My hands ran down Bella's side, acting on their accord, coming to rest on her bare ass. Our tongues never paused as they pushed for dominance in a pulsing rhythm. I groaned, unable to keep it in, and honestly not caring.
The continued friction of Bella's body pushing against mine, as her hips rocked forward was pure, erotic torture. She was driving my mind to incoherency, a feat only she could accomplish. Her little hands danced over my chest, running her palms over my nipples. Another not-so-subtle groan escaped me and I felt Bella's smile against my lips, her mouth silencing my sounds of pleasure.
"Mmmm," she moaned, pulling away from my lips. As Bella's hands moved over my chest and shoulders, she began to lay kisses over the trail from her hands. Her eyes were hooded over as she moved and I could feel the beat of her heart pressed against my chest.
Beautiful. Those words weren't enough to do her justice, but they were a start. Her chestnut hair cascaded over her shoulders, tickling the space between us, as her tiny hands never paused in their exploration. It was if she were memorizing my chest and abdomen—every dip and bulge of every muscle.
I leaned down, nuzzling my nose in her hair. Her scent overwhelmed my senses, my body buzzing and my erection pressing harder against her in hopeful anticipation. Traitor. Honestly.
A sly, gentle smile graced Bella's lips; her eyes glanced down at my prominent erection between us before looking back into my own. Her hands danced over my abdomen as they had been before she pressed a rough kiss in between my pecs.
I groaned deeply as Bella's warm hand ran over my erection, my head instantly thrown back in pleasure. Instinctively, my hands reached up, cupping both of Bella's soft breasts. A soft whimper escaped her as she pressed her forehead against my chest. Her hand kept a steady rhythm of feather light touches on the sensitive skin, betraying the erratic rhythm of her breathing.
I allowed my hands to slowly knead the mounds of flesh I held, often grazing my palm over her sensitive nipples. Each pass elicited another whimper from the beautiful creature pushed against me.
Bella drug her nails lightly on the underside of my prominent erection. I growled deeply, before ducking my head down to suck her sweet flesh below her ear. Bella's body became slightly limp, but my arms encircled her before her body even had a chance to fall.
She looked up through the thickness of her lashes, studying my face. One hand reached up tracing the contours of my face as I had done hers last night. She worked painstakingly slow over my eyebrows, around my eyes, down my nose, along my jaw and finally tracing the outline of my lips. My tongue darted out, desperate to taste her. Bella complied, letting me gently suck on two of her delicate fingers. Such a simple gesture, but so erotic at the same moment in its innocence.
My eyes closed, unable to concentrate on anything beside the sensation of Bella. Her warm body was still pressed tightly to mine. Her fingers still rested in my mouth as my tongue swirled around them. Her heart beating heavily against my chest, electricity flowing freely between us.
Without warning, Bella raised herself up on her toes and took my earlobe between her teeth. It took all I had to not bite down on her fingers in pleasure. Instead, I moaned deeply into the air. Her hand still held to my throbbing erection, gingerly stroking it. She squeezed the base before moving back to my ear. "I want you," Bella whispered as she nipped at my jaw. "Now."
Inhibitions lost, I grabbed Bella's waist raising her up and maneuvering her legs to circle my own waist. A growl escaped from deep within my chest only to be halted by another soft hiss from Bella. Instantly, I stopped my movements, already berating myself for being so careless with her.
"Edward Cullen! I swear if you stop, you can just walk right out that door or jump out the damn window for all I care…" her tiny voice growled at me through the quick breaths.
I couldn't help but laugh. I knew now was not the time for laughs, but I couldn't help but be amused by the tone in Bella's voice. It dripped with anger, but begged me all the same.
Bella opened her eyes and for the first time I truly noticed the passion and lust and unconditional love they carried. She looked beautiful in the way she gazed down upon me, her hair sticking to the light sweat on her forehead. I smiled her favorite crooked smile before placing a kiss to her collarbone and over the bruises peppering her shoulders, before urgently finding her lips.
"As you wish," I whispered in her ear as I gently sucked the pulse point just below. There is no way I can deny her. Her desires are my every wish.
Bella's body squirmed in anticipation and need against mine, as her hands raked and pulled through my hair. Our mouths were connected in an all-out battle of passion, each tongue fighting for dominance of the moment. I was taking her all in. Her taste. Her touch. Her intoxicating scent.
A frustrated growl flowed freely from her chest, causing a smile to spread between our still connected lips. She was ready. She was impatient. She wanted this now.
One hand grabbed her ass, holding her humming body against mine, as the other positioned myself at her entrance. My lower member twitched in anticipation and excitement against her wet, hot center.
I paused a moment, turning to place her back against the wall for support. I glanced down to my Bella, my eyes silently asking permission. She nodded slightly, her head rolling into the crook of my neck where she placed kiss after kiss. I pressed the head against her, inching it in. The action took most of the self-control I held to not just slam into her. But this was about Bella. What she wants is what I desire.
"I love you," I whispered into her neck before thrusting in until I was completely sheathed in her. She screamed into my neck, muffling the sounds somewhat. I stayed perfectly still though my instincts screamed at me to thrust, allowing Bella to get accustomed to the feeling once again.
Moments later, Bella's hips rocked into mine, urging me to continue. I was only too happy to accommodate. Gently I pulled nearly out and fluidly slid back in. Bella's tiny hands grabbed for my hair, knotting her fingers through the strands. I began to pick up pace, thrusting to an unheard rhythm. The sweetest of moans escaped her plump lips as I hit deep inside her core.
Her hips met mine with each thrust. Bella's eyes were hooded over, but locked intently with my own. Her beauty was enough to drive me crazy, let alone her scent or her hot, tight center surrounding me.
Our breathing came as ragged pants, though unnecessary on my part. Bella was flushed and her body coursed with adrenaline as I held her in my arms. Her back arched with each thrust causing both her and I to moan into the air at the sensation. If I believed in Heaven for myself, this would be it.
Bella was getting close, as was I. Her hips moved and met my thrusts in a desperate pace to bring her release. Desperate to bring her release before my own, I freed an arm from around her back, snaking it between us. Her swollen nub waited for my fingers, throbbing beneath my touch. Slowly I circled it over and over again earning moans and whimpers from my love. Her movements sped up more begging me to continue. In a final movement, I pinched down on her nub.
Bella screamed into the air as her walls clamped around me at her release. The tightness and heat brought about my own climax, releasing myself deep within her. We rode out the highs together, our bodies tingling and pressed to the others. Regaining some composure, I pulled out and hugged Bella impossibly closer as I cradled her in my arms.
"Mmmm. Thank you," she sighed into my neck. Her eyes were closed, but a gentle smile played on her lips.
"I love you." There were so many more things I wished to tell her, but nothing seemed as fitting. I was the one that should be thanking her. She gave me life after I had been dead for ninety years. She was my light and my love. There was nothing I wouldn't do for this woman.
Slowly I crossed the room, Bella still cradled in my arms, to her old rocking chair. I wasn't ready to let her go yet. I wanted to hold her as close as possible; to feel her heart beating against my own. Sitting in the chair, I rocked us back and forth. Bella's breathing slowed and deepened as she drifted into sleep. I smiled down at her, allowing my fingers to tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ear.
Leaning over, I took her earlobe between my teeth, gently sucking on her flesh. Even in sleep, a deep blush colored her skin in the most perfect way.
"Beautiful," I found myself whispering into the still air.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I know I had a lot of fun writing it. I don't know if I will continue this story into more chapters or if I'll just add one-shots to it as they haunt me. I do have an idea of where I want this to go if I decide to continue writing it more, so I'll just tuck that knowledge in the back of my brain. Thanks for all who favorited, commented and/or alerted the first chapter. I never really thought people would like this story, but I'm truly glad other people besides myself seem to.