Title: Pitter-Pattering Means Trouble Is Afoot

Author: Rhion

Rating: PG13 – Susan has a potty mouth. Or is it potty mind?

Summary: Scampering of little feet in the Narnia-Telmarine castle can be ever so troublesome. Particularly if those feet belong to Caspian and Susan's offspring.

Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue.

Category: FLUFF!

Word Count: 1531

AN: Blame Kitoky, it's all her fault. Preggers!Susan leads into Mommy!Su and Daddy!Caspian. *facepalm* And again, since the Su mentioned herein is so martial, she simply must be D!Su, and the Caspian mention is also, or was formerly, an ass, he must be D!C… Which means this ties into Lurking in the Shadows. *makes a funny face*Which reminds me, D!C needs to finish D!Su off in the section I've been avoiding…. *bangs head singsonging* Too many projects, too many projects, one person, one very mortal person!


Susan was doing her best to work the kinks out of her forearm, who knew signing documents would be so tiring? Frankly if she had had any clue, she would've run for the hills when she found out she was to be crowned Queen. Which she had tried to do anyway. Sometimes she hated being so responsible. Grunting softly as her wrist popped for the millionth time, Susan reached for her mug of tea. Nothing beat having a large bucket of tea when one was tired… Now if only it were oolong or something wonderfully English… And viciously caffeinated.

But no, there was no Earl Grey to be had in Narnia-Telmar, nor was there any Oolong, Lapsang Souchong, or Assam. No matter how much she wished there were. All this left her was the spicy stuff favored by Calormenes, which while true she loved, musing as she inhaled the deeply fragrant tea before taking another long sip, but it just wasn't the same.

Bending back to her task, Susan picked up the heavy vellum of some random thing or other from Archenland requesting terms for a joint effort in repaving and patrolling roads to connect the two kingdoms. Just when she thought the formal document was starting to make sense through all the legalese there was a thump near one of the walls. Head snapping up, her hand went to the small crossbow that was always loaded and near to hand – one could never be too careful while the Council of Lords was still not fully tamed – tracking the sound.

"Shoosh! Be qwuiet," a piping soft voice called as there were more bumpings and various commotions coming from the walls.

Susan knew that there were several passageways that were worked into her office space, one for servants, one for 'private' use, and one for actual escape. It seemed her son had found the hidey-hole and was playing where he shouldn't. A squeal, high-pitched and squawking happy from toddler sized lungs – obviously not just her son had found the passageway, but her daughter as well.

"I said be qwuiet, Nia-nia!" and Susan relaxed, waiting her children out, wondering what they may do or say, "Or I take you back to 'etta! And bath time!"

That made Niannia go silent quickly, she had inherited her father's lack of fastidiousness as well as his dark skin and bone structure. Of course Susan didn't dare to even mentally mention the fact that her smallest child also had Caspian's temperament, not just his looks, because truly her daughter was a precious thing – if a bit wild to say the least. Covering her mouth and her smile, Susan leaned her elbows on her desk, continuing to listen. These precious years were going to be few, it wouldn't be too long until they were grown and she had gray hair and could no longer pick them up for hugs and kisses. So, she decided to enjoy this.

Those stuffy documents and decrees could go fuck themselves.

"Mumma?" Niannia asked in her toddler-speech.

"Yes, we go find Mummy, but you hafta be qwiet! Or we get founds. And gettin' founds is when we gets in twubbles!" scolding, Rilian sounded so serious and logical and grownup. At least for a four year old.

Biting her lip, Susan knew quite well where he got that mindset from. That is if Caspian and his constant complaining were to be believed. Knowing that she should be concerned that her children were currently unattended, and that she should reprimand the children's guards for not keeping a better eye on them, but Susan decided to wave that off. Her children were tough little things, and they should be able to have the same freedoms any normal child would. A line of logic she had tried to sell to Caspian many times, but he fretted worse than a mother hen, leaving meetings and training sessions at random times just to make sure everything was in perfect working order. And woe betide anyone who let them get hurt. Which meant that often it had to be a family friend, or some other long trusted individual for Caspian to even let them near the Royal Children.

And here she had thought that he wouldn't be involved in their little ones lives, Caspian was the one who was frantic all the time over them. While Susan was the one who was confident that all would be well. But that didn't mean she wouldn't skin someone alive for hurting those precious little bodies or feelings. Maybe she had become a bit too much Telmarine, and Caspian a bit too much Narnian? Wrinkling her nose, Susan took another sip of tea, deciding that it all balanced out in the end.

Susan was so engrossed in listening as Rilian and Niannia tried to find the release to the hidden door, that she didn't notice her own office's door swinging open until it banged on the stone wall. Reflexes honed in combat and constant paranoia, Susan whirled, pointing her crossbow, and the only reason Caspian managed to escape unscathed is because they both realized what was about to happen. Caspian ducked to the side, laying flat on the ground, and Susan jerked her weapon so that the quarrel's course was skewed.

Glancing up from his position on the floor, hands pressed to the carpet, raising himself up, "Have I angered you recently my Queen that this is the greeting I receive?"

Hand to her breast, Susan tried to still the hammering of her heart – she could have killed her husband! Literally and now at the moment figuratively for having frightened her so!

Forgetting her babies for a moment, Susan put fists to hips, and stomped a foot, "Caspian! You know better! You're supposed to knock! It's a wonder I didn't feather you!"

Getting up, dusting himself off nonchalantly, Caspian moved to pry the bolt from the doorframe, eyeing it speculatively, "To me it appears that you almost did feather me." Brandishing the missile about, very calm for a man who had come close to being shot, "But you did not. And this only reminds me to stay on my toes when I am with you, which is a good thing all in all."

"Caspian, you do realize you're an arse, don't you?"

He snorted, coming in, closing the door, and stretching languidly for a moment, "You tell me often, how could I forget?"

"Arrrzzz!" there was a childish squeal of glee, and Susan was reminded of her littles' hidden presence.

"You do like to start them young," Caspian frowned, before shaking his head and making his way to the hidden passage door, "don't you?"

"Oh look at you, you just used a contraction," rolling her eyes, Susan set her crossbow down and clapped mockingly as he pulled the door open, revealing their children.

Rilian's off colour eyes were huge as saucers, "Fathur, um… um… it's not bath time. Nia-nia don't smell yet."

Caspian visibly repressed his amused sigh, "Yes, I have to agree, but your mother prefers you both to be squeaky clean."

"Arrzz!" Niannia giggled and ran to hug her father's leg. "Dada arrrzz!"

Susan reflexively corrected her daughter, "It's 'arse' Nia, not 'arrrrzz'. Can you say 'arse'?"

Caspian looked at her, perturbed as usual, "Susan, please, you are going to corrupt their fragile little minds."

"Too late," Susan giggled as Rilian grinned in turn.

"Arse, Nia-nia! Arse! Say arse! Not 'arrrrrzzzzz'," drawing it out long, just to irritate his father.

Bending down, Caspian picked up Niannia, "No swearing. It is unseemly for a Princess to swear."

"I swore," interrupting him, Susan crossed her arms, cocking her hip.

His look said it all, "And you still do. And I have never said that you were seemly in any fashion at all, now have I?"

Rilian was looking from one parent to the other, his pale skin that would turn clear gold with more sun exposure, confusion painting his face, "Tense? Passed?"

"Don't worry Rilian," Susan came out from behind her desk, and picked her son up, cuddling him, "it'll all make sense when you're older. After you have a bath."

Squirming happily, his small arms wrapping around her neck, sighing, "Bath! But, Mummy, Nia-nia don't like them…"

Plopping a kiss on his nose, making his eyes cross, "I wonder where she gets that from?"

"Yes, well, I never wonder where they get their vocabularies from…." muttering as they made their way back to the family quarters. "Oh, my Queen, I forgot – "

"You're always forgetting things," voices echoing distantly through the corridors.


"I try to be…."

Sighing like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and that no one could understand his plight, "….I was going to inform you that the children were missing…"

"Arsss Dada!"

Another put upon sigh, "Yes poppet, arse."

Leaning over, Susan kissed Caspian's shoulder, neither of them breaking stride with their precious cargo, "You know what they say: if you can't beat them, let them win."

"…That made no sense whatsoever."

"Was it supposed to…?" giggling.

The stone walls heard a muffled, "No I suppose not…" as the family went about their family business.