A/N: lalalala thought I might write this out, if anything to show what I have running on automatic through Germany's head when I play him. I just like the imagery he keeps in there. : D
It started off as an idea. The girl stood staring at the doll of Ludwig, or Germany, and wondered what it was that ran through his head. Alex wasn't the sort to go prying typically, well, not into a person's mind, but Germany simply didn't divulge a great deal when he spoke. Which was rarely. It wasn't that he didn't like to talk, he simply didn't have anything worth saying or to contribute and if it was worth contributing someone else would say it anyway, so there wasn't really any point in piping up.
So Alex stood and stared at the doll for the umpteenth time that day and continued to wonder if perhaps there was a way into his mind that she might be able to see what it was he kept locked away so tightly. The answer came in the form of a small, male voice speaking into her mind. It was a child's voice, one that sounded very sweet and somewhat mischievous.
"So, you want inside his head?" asked the voice of Peter.
"Y-yes?" answered Alex, not entirely certain how to answer a question like that.
"Then, go to sleep," said Peter, she could practically feel him smiling at her, in her mind she could see his blue eyes twinkling, "and I will come and fetch you."
So, Alex did as he bade and settled down on the futon in the computer room. She pulled a blanket around her from one of the boxes littering the floor; Ehren's family still hadn't managed to get all the boxes out of the way, and went to sleep. Her friends didn't joke about her being narcoleptic for nothing!
For a moment, all she could see was black. Then, as though the sun were suddenly rising up, the air grew warmer and she was in a place so green, so filled with light and love that it would make even the hardest of hearts melt. Two trees stood, intertwined with one another, and there stood the little boy, Peter. His reddish blonde hair fluttered in the light breeze that swept over the green land. His cheeks were rosy, but he was a fairly pale boy. His eyes, though, were the blue of a clear sky in summer. He grinned at her and moved away from the tree, running over to her. He was fairly tall compared to her. If she had to guess an age she would have said he was twelve just by his height, but his demeanor and his voice sounded more like a younger child's, possibly seven or eight. His attire, however, was that of something from a movie on the medieval time period. It was red with gold trimming, a lion head embroidered into the fabric roaring to the viewer.
Peter smiled brightly at her and took a hold of her hand. "Come on, Alex!" he cried, giggling. He pulled her toward the two intertwined trees and knocked on them with his knuckles. "Knock, knock!" he said to them. "Time to wake up!'
The two trees suddenly began moving, shifting and groaning as they separated from one another like a pair of sleepy children. Then, they curved up toward the top to continue holding their branches together. In between the trees a mirror of some kind stood where nothing had been. She saw her own reflection and frowned faintly before looking down at Peter. He smiled at her and then walked through, still holding her hand. She followed him into the mirror, the surface rippling like water as they moved through it, and found herself in an entirely different land.
The landscape for the most part was bare. To the north was a café of some sort where people sat and talked mindlessly to one another and drank beer or coffee. To the west was a ruined city, buildings shelled to practically nothing with debris littering the streets. To the east was a forest that loomed at her like something out of a fairytale. Alex frowned as she eyed the café. "It's just like something I've seen before," she said.
She moved forward, toward the café, and found the people had no faces. Her heart pounded hard in her chest. It was exactly like the café in the Museum of Tolerance she had visited not that long ago. "It's just like it," she said.
Alex looked down to Peter and shook her head before glancing back to the faceless people muttering amongst one another. "This café. It looks exactly like a display in the Museum of Tolerance. It's a place in Los Angeles that has an extensive and interactive display regarding Nazi Germany and the Holocaust," she said.
"There was a display of a café of faceless people talking to each other about the war," said Alex as she absently pulled her coat tighter against herself.
"I don't like that city over there," said Peter, holding tighter to Alex's hand.
"Why?" asked Alex.
"It looks very sad," said Peter, his blue eyes changing to a golden color, looking more animal like than human.
"It looks a bit like the Warsaw ghetto," said Alex, frowning. She shook her head and rubbed her temple. "Geez, I think that museum got to me a bit."
Then, she smelled the smoke. It wafted toward her, though she felt no wind. Her heart thudded in her chest as she slowly turned toward the south. There stood a great gated area. Inside the gate was a building, though it was nothing too elaborate. The smoke rose up from it in black curls up into the sky, swirling around into the air. It was a sickening smell what graced her nose. It was the smell of burning human flesh, of feces and death. Alex turned around quickly, trying to regain her composure.
"I really don't like that place," said Peter softly, his face more grave than a child should have.
"Let's go into the forest," said Alex quickly. Peter nodded and pulled her away by her hand as she tried to keep from vomiting on the ground.
The forest was dark, the wood of the trees even darker. As they made their way it seemed as though she would never find anything of any interest inside the woods. "Sometimes things like forests crop up because memories get lost," said Peter to her, smiling over his shoulder at her as he pulled her along.
There stood a strange image before them. Alex watched as Germany paced back and forth, his hair loosened from its normal slicked back state and ruffled. In his hands was a note pad that he kept writing on until he finally tossed it, gripping his head and shouting. His image flickered and then shut off suddenly, however, like a hologram on a television show. She looked to Peter questioningly, but he simply shrugged at her. When the hologram of Germany appeared again he was standing in his uniform trousers, boots and shirt, but his shirt was unbuttoned down to his navel. Alex stood wondering if they both shouldn't just leave. The sight of Germany's pale, but muscled chest and stomach forced her to blush heavily.
Ludwig lounged in a chair, his feet up on a tree stump as though it was a footstool, a bottle of beer in his hand that he was taking large swigs from occasionally. After a while he seemed to finish the beer and set it down, though there was no table to set it down on. It seemingly just disappeared into the air as though it were never there to begin with. The hologram of Ludwig stood up and walked to what appeared to be a mirror. He put his hands on either side of it, his cheeks flushed and his gaze so intense that it made Alex feel as though she were looking at something inappropriate for her to witness. Ludwig moved away from the mirror and ruffled his hair, cursing in German before throwing what looked to be the beer bottle he finished at a tree.
"This must be where all the pent up emotions he has are kept hidden away in his forest," said Peter.
"He looks frustrated," said Alex.
"And before he looked lusty," said Peter. Once more Alex had the feeling Peter was not a real child, but a grown man with a child body.
As if on cue, the hologram of Ludwig stopped throwing things and shouting and looked back to the mirror. He walked right up to it and put his hands high up on either side of the mirror, looking intensely at whatever he saw there. Then, slowly, a person emerged from the silvery glass surface, a woman with dark brown hair about Alex's height and skin tone formed in front of Germany. Alex didn't see a face, not from her angle, but she had an uncomfortable feeling inside her of what she was about to see and who the woman was supposed to be. In an instant Ludwig pulled the woman against him and his mouth was on hers, a primal growl issuing forth from his throat as he wrapped her legs around his waist. Her fingers were in his pale blonde hair, a hand clutching at his shoulders as he continued to claim her mouth with every ounce of passion that Alex never thought possible from composed Germany.
"Er, we should be moving," she said, somewhat surprised by the display of energy and emotion coming from the usually stoic nation. She would've laughed at herself if she didn't fear that it might force Germany to suddenly notice their appearance inside his designated "secret desire" area.
Peter nodded and walked ahead of Alex, taking her far away from the scene. They soon found themselves lost in black woods, the trees growing closer and closer together instead of further apart like at the start of the woods. The further they walked the closer the trees grew together until it was hard to maneuver through them. "Perhaps we should leave," said Peter, looking up at her.
Alex shook her head and looked on, curious. "I wonder what we will find if we keep going," she said.
The sound of children laughing caught her attention. She leapt over a bush and darted forward through heavy underground and close together trees until she found herself in a clearing of sorts. It was sunny and there was a cry from up in one of the trees. There, caught in the branches, was what looked like a brown haired little girl wearing a white dress and a white cap on her head. In her hands was a white handkerchief that looked as though it had some embroidery on the edges. Alex knew better. It was northern Italy, Feliciano, as a little boy, once again stuck in a very compromising position.
"Italia!" cried another voice. Not far off was a blonde haired, blue eyed boy wearing a strange black cloak and hat. "ITALIA!" he called a second time.
"Holy Roman Empire!" cried little Italia as he wriggled in the tree.
"What on Earth are you doing up there?" snapped the little boy.
"I lost Austria's handkerchief while cleaning it and I got stuck in the tree trying to retrieve it!" said Italia as he tried to get out of the tree. The blonde haired boy grunted and pulled Italia out of the tree and set him down on his tiny feet. "Thank you, Holy Roman Empire!" cried Italia as he latched onto him.
Holy Roman Empire's cheeks burned and he shoved Italia off of him, before grabbing Italia's hand and hauling him off into the distance. "Come on," said the blonde boy, his ears now burning, muttering rather loudly, "You're such an idiot, Italia."
Alex and Peter walked back through the forest in the direction they had come through and found themselves almost too quickly back in the open space with the ruined city, café and the looming smoke behind the gated area. There, in front of the gates, stood yet another image of Ludwig. Alex shivered inside as she stared at the gate, the sickening feeling once more rising up through her spine and chilling her insides. Alex heard the sound of a train coming and looked to see one heading right into the gated compound before it disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. She watched in horror as smoke billowed up heavier from the building, the smell filling the air once more.
Ludwig, or another of the strange sort of holograms she had seen previously, stood holding his stomach and looking ill. Alex moved toward him to see if it was Ludwig inside his head or another hologram until she heard another train sound off in the distance and then run right into the gated compound, disappearing into nothing. Then, a minute later, the smoke once more billowed up into the sky, growing higher and blacker than before. Tears dribbled down Ludwig's pale cheeks as he stared soundlessly watching it all. Another train disappeared into the compound and more smoke filled the air, the sickly smell of burning human flesh and waste growing thick in the air. More tears dripped down over his cheeks as he continued to stare into the blackness of the compound.
Alex then noticed blood oozing from his nose and mouth. He hardly seemed aware of it, only the sight of the train continuously running into the compound and the smoke continuously growing bigger and thicker in the sky. The more smoke accumulating in the sky the heavier the flow of blood coming from Ludwig's nose and mouth until he fell to his knees and vomited blood on the ground. The train came in again and offered more to be burned inside of it and Ludwig vomited once again onto the ground, the blood splattering over his hands and oozing its way toward the gates.
Ludwig sat up slowly and gave an anguished cry, trembling as he attempted to stand up again. The train came in, the smoke billowed up until the sky was black from it, and Ludwig once more vomited more blood onto the ground before staggering right into the gates. He gripped them for all he was worth and slid down onto his knees in front of them, crying; blood dried on his face where it dribbled from his mouth and nose when he vomited. He banged ineffectually on the rusty gate with a fist as his usually strong shoulders shook from his crying. Another train, more smoke, and Ludwig coughed up the blood on himself. He gritted his teeth and gripped the gate with white fists and screamed as he shook them. "STOP KILLING ME!" he cried.
Alex blinked back the tears that threatened to come to her eyes as she watched the horrific display. She knew all too well what lay beyond the gate and knew all to well what it must be doing to Germany to have had it happened to him; little pieces of his own body being ripped out forcibly every single time that train came into the compound and left their passengers inside the camp, little pieces cut out and burned as the people from the trains burned or were gassed and then burned, forced to live in their own filth and die of starvation or live in horror day to day as they watched their fellows die around them while they lived. Each time the train came in and left more for the fires Germany was preyed upon and killed a little more inside.
Then, as Ludwig slowly slid down the front of the gate, still holding onto the bars with his white fists, Peter gently gripped Alex's hand and led her away. She didn't notice when they went through the door made from the two trees. All she could see was the kneeling, defeated form of Ludwig as he cried the tears he never could when the horror was a reality. Inside his own mind he could cry for however long he wanted, inside his mind he could show the passion he kept pent up inside, inside he could scream and shout however he wanted. It was his mind and therefore it was all right to do these things.
Alex woke up and found herself sitting up on the futon in the back computer room. She pulled the blanket more around herself slowly before standing up and walking down the hall to find the doll of Ludwig reading a book that was on the couch that said, "The Complete Jewish Bible" on the cover. It was one of Ehren's bibles.
Alex then smiled faintly toward the little blonde haired doll and walked into the kitchen to make something to eat, leaving the doll to do as he pleased.