Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Twilight. I never have. I never will. Not that it wouldn't be great....but I will never reach those levels of creativity.
A/N: Okay, I have only just started reading fanfics, I have never written one. I don't write and certainly do not claim to be an aspiring auther. But...I was noticing that in all of the ones that I have read (and I have probably missed the one(s) similar to what I'm writing) even that first time is described like something straight out of a Harlequin. Even in BD, we pick up after the actual act with Bella all "it was perfect, we fit together like 2 parts made for each other". Give me a break. Maybe I missed something my first time, but, we are talking about 2 teenage virgins. I know, I know, Edward is over 100 years old and he has heard/seen everything through other peoples minds & actions. However, we also know that he can barely bring himself to acknowledge that he has these feelings himself, much less for him to studiously review all of these experiences in order to truly please Bella that first time. Also, he's nervous, terrified and all caught up in the "I'm so selfish", "I'll hurt her", ect. So, basing this on personal experience and what I've talked about with other women over the years, here goes...
The water was very warm. Edward was right (again), this is a beach that I would approve of. I placed my hand over his and noticed that the water had warmed him. God, this was hard. Harder than I thought it would be. After all this time (and frustration) the night was finally here. He is so beautiful and I am so just, me. I was caught between so many different actions. Running and hiding under the covers being one of them. Okay, be brave. I leaned into him and put my hands on either side of his face. He seemed unable to move. He was willing to let me start this, I kissed him, running my tongue over his bottom lip. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back. As always, as soon as he kissed me back, I was lost. Breath, in 1,2, out 1,2. If I passed out all this would stop. He moved his mouth down to my jaw and up to my ear. So far, this was familiar territory, except for being completely naked and alone and not expected to stop of course. I ran my hands down his back, enjoying being able to touch his skin. I slowly, almost sneaking, brought my left hand around and started running my fingers across his hip. Edward took in one quick breath and began kissing his way down my chest. God. My awkwardness seeming to disappear (for a few minutes at least) I reached down and ran my fingers over him. I don't know what I was expecting. He just froze, looking down at me with shock in his eyes. But, he didn't stop me. Here comes the awkwardness, roaring right back. I wish I had done this before, I mean not the whole having sex thing. I was so happy that my first time would be with Edward. I loved him so much and I wanted him so much. It's all I've been thinking about for so long. This night. It's the actual mechanics of it that are so terrifying. He has been so concerned with not allowing things to go to far that I have never been allowed much more than a slightly sexy backrub. Touching his chest was considered risque. Okay, deep breath, he was waiting for me, watching to see what I would do next. Certainly, I'd at least read something about this..I wrapped my fingers around him and began moving them up and down. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, his mouth on my neck. His breathing ragged. Well, this seems to work. Edward picked me up quickly and moved towards the shoreline. He laid me down in the sand and more shallow water and slowly moved his body over mine. Oh!!, he kissed me again. Cool, sweet breath over my lips and nose. His tongue touching my lips, he ran his mouth and nose down my chin and neck, his hands were very close to my breasts. Please, keep going, please!!! He was very gently resting his whole body against mine. I could feel his thighs on mine, his stomach on mine, I could feel him, very hard against my stomach. Finally. I inched my fingers down again and began running them up and down the side of him. I'd never, ever heard him breathing like this. He held his upper body up on one hand and brought his mouth down to my right breast. Oh, thank god. He kissed my nipple, and put just his lips around it. I could feel just the very tip of his tongue touch me. The temperature difference between the very warm water around our lower bodies and his tongue was extreme. I was feeling so many different things. Nerves, hot, my brain was on overload. His left hand ran down my side and inched slowly between us. He glided over my hip and down. One finger slowly moved past my (authors note... you all know I've never written anything before, what the hell do I call this?...) bikini line and slowly up and down me. Yes!! I tried moving my legs more apart and tilting my hips upward to let him know that this was right. Just exactly what I wanted him to do. His finger moved inside me and I caught my breath. Reminding myself to breath again. The much dreaded fainting being a real posibility at this point. His finger moved in and out slowly. Oh god. I wished that he would move his finger out and up just a little bit. Why couldn't he read my damned mind, right now would be great.
"Bella?", "Hmm?", "I..., ummm, I can't, mmm, if at any time I hurt you.." Okay, time for some fast reassurance. I knew that this was going to hurt a little and I knew that if I didn't open my mouth quickly he would stop altogether and go hide under the bed. "Edward, we know that it will hurt a little, can't be avoided, just (do it already???) be gentle and we'll go from there". He kissed me again and again, and reached down to guide himself into me. At first, when he touched just the outside of me, it was so good. Just like I'd thought. Everything in my body was straining towards him. Please, please. He pushed himself into me slowly. It began to hurt. I mean it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Between being the worlds biggest klutz and being beaten and vampire bitten this was nothing. Not comfortable but not overwhelming. The downside being that I was focusing on not letting him know that it hurt at all, for fear that he'd stop and not focusing on all the feelings that had been running through me before. Edward pushed himself all the way in and partially collapsed on top of me. I moved my legs wide and wrapped my calves around his. He searched my face quickly for signs of pain, signs that this was what I wanted. I tried to put how much this was what I wanted into my eyes and kissed him quickly. I pushed my hips down into the sand and water to bring him out of me a little and then up to bring him back in and that was all it took. He let go. I know that a part of his brain was still very focused on not crushing me, but finally most of it was focused on what he was feeling. He eyes were closed tightly and he was pushing himself in and out of me. His breathing was past ragged and almost into hyperventilating. I wrapped my arms around his back and kissed him. I was waiting. Here we were finally having sex. On our wedding night, on the beach no less and what had happened to all the tightness, the hitched breathing, the overwhelming feelings I'd had. I kept waiting while he moved. Shouldn't something change. Wasn't there some place inside me that was being touched that would bring that all back. Edward quickened his pace. This was fine, it didn't really hurt, but I was missing something. I tried to think about how I'd read this would be, shouldn't I be overwhelmed and about to, well, have my first Edward enduced orgasm. He was desperate now.
"Oh, Bella, oh" his voice moving past husky. Don't get me wrong, I liked this. I loved knowing that it was my body that was making him feel this way. That I could force him to drop so much of his control. I loved it a lot. I was just expecting something...more....
He was growling now everytime he pushed himself back in. I was trying to keep up, but between being a little bit sore and moving my hips in a way that wasn't familiar, I was getting ready for this part to be done. Maybe I'd done something wrong..I searched my brain for some detail that I was missing. I didn't think that Edward had done anything wrong. Maybe if he'd kept that finger on my (blushing here) clitoris and rubbed while having actual sex, mmmm, I imagined that feeling. Starting to get back into it, damn if only he could read my mind.
"God, Bella, god", one more time in and out and he was done. I sighed. I really wasn't done. He pulled himself out and laid down beside me. He wrapped his arms back around me and pulled me closer. His eyes were bright with emotion and other things...He leaned toward me and kissed me gently. "I don't have the words to describe how I feel right now" Edward whispered to me. I could see the joy in his eyes and face. I smiled at him, feeling relieved that he'd clearly enjoyed this and hoping that I'd figure out exactly what it was that I needed him to do so that we could be in the same place next time, while at the same time hoping that he wouldn't notice that I wasn't feeling exactly what he was. His forehead wrinkled a little as he looked at me, his eyebrows drawing together as he studied my expression. His nostrils flared, "Bella?" "Edward", I smiled, thinking what?
"Was that not as, um, did you not, well, uh,", if Edward could blush, he certainly would have. Quickly understanding what he was getting at, the heat ran up my chest and face. Certainly, he noticed that. Damned vampire senses. I was beginning to understand the nostril flare. He could smell it. He could tell be smell that I hadn't had quite as good a time as he did. If only we both weren't so inexperienced that we could actually talked about as well as know it.
A/N: Please excuse any typos and the font and the bold. I don't have any decent word processing software on my computer and I am too embarassed to ask anyone I know to proof read this for me. I think I'll stop here. I am very confident that Edward will wring the truth out of Bella and work harder next time to get it right. I'm sorry for my lack of faith in vampire sex being so much better than regular sex that first time, but come on really. The first time.