A/N: I have 9 reviews. Yay (jumping up and down like Alice-actually being 4'10", I know that you have to jump up and down in order to actually see anything). Hey, I know many people have many more than 9, but since I haven't written anything since my junior ap English class, this is great. I have also learned not to allow my pervy husband to read anything I may write. He completely got the wrong idea, somehow coming to the conclusion that I have a new interest in smut and all things smutty. So, anyways, here goes. This is the final chapter. I apologize if I have deviated from BD at the end. It's not possible to sit at the computer with a copy of the book in my house. I would be endlessly tormented as my 17 year old daughter is a complete freak (disdaining all things Twilight) and frankly I'm not willing to put up with it.
I had promised her that we would try and we had. We had succeeded. I was able to push through all of the overwhelming sensation, pleasure and keep her safe. I had planned carefully, knowing we would need absolute privacy. I needed to focus without a random voice chiming in with inane distractions and Bella, being so very innocent and shy needed to know that we were completely alone.
We needed the warmth, the heat of the island to counteract the difference in our body temperatures and while it went against the grain to make love to Bella for the first time on the ground, I knew that the warm water would keep my temperature up and wash away any traces of blood that could rob me of my control in that moment.
Swallowing my own discomfort or rather ultimate humiliation, I had spent hours discussing this night with my father. Needing to know what to expect, what steps could be taken to mitigate the danger. At the end of our last conversation, I had asked Carlisle about the basics. I knew the mechanics, but I wanted to please Bella, not just accomplish the act. He had told me that it's different for everyone, male, female, human or vampire. I should pay attention, watch Bella's face, listen to her words, every sound, feel the shifts in her heartbeat, breath, body temperature and scent. How frustrating I found his words. Of course I would pay attention. I always paid attention. Bella is my fascination, my only obsession. I never tired of watching her, listening to every sound, breathing in every scent.
In desperation I turned to my brothers. Within 30 seconds of seeing the images in Emmett's sex addled brain and even Jaspers', I quickly withdrew to the forest, hearing their laughter for miles.
Should I have gone to Alice or Esme? Yes, clearly that should have been my next step. Either would have gently explained the best way to bring Bella the same level of pleasure her body had brought me.
So foolish. So full of pride. After nearly a century of hearing the thoughts and images of everyone I came into contact with, I was over confident. Feeling that I could certainly provide my wife with an orgasm on our wedding night.
Bella had always always responded to me with passion. A feather light kiss on her neck caused her heart to race. Kissing her mouth, holding her close to me, touching just the tip of my tongue to her lips sent her breathing to erratic extremes. I could smell her arousal. The last weeks had been the worst and best kind of torture. Feeling her, hearing her, smelling her. I was crazed.
The images I held of Bella, my secret desires, fantasies I never shared with her. I could at the very least maintian the facade of being a gentlemen.
Now, in my arrogance, I had failed. No, I hadn't hurt her. At least no more than any man would have. But, I hadn't paid attention at the most vital point. I had lost myself in her body. Had used her for my own fulfillment, not thought of hers. And now, holding her, my wife, in my arms, my traitorous body wanted only to push her back into the bed and have her again and again. To bury myself in her body and fly. It was only moments ago, but I felt as though I were starving. The need, so similar to my thirst. She must know how base my reactions are. She must know how I had used her so selfishly. She can't event speak to me. I'm not sure why she's in my arms and not sobbing, as far away from me as possible.
I can do this. I have to do this. To compensate for my lack of focus, my inability to pay attention. Swallowing my shame, my mortification, I began to purposely recall some of the images so "generously" provided by Emmett and Jasper. Would my angel respond in the same way as Rosalie and Alice? The images were... intriguing with Bella as a participant. Perhaps, I could----
"The end part. Do you mean an orgasm?". Rather than draw this torment out any longer, I chose to get right to the point. Her body temperature rose another couple of degrees. If it were possible for someone to burst into flace from blushing, Bella certainly would have.
"Yes, Edward, an orgasm", she said sourly. "Bella, it's nothing to be embarrassed about", for her at least - I should certainly die of shame for not meeting her needs and then forcing her to talk about it. Focus Edward!
"I am very sorry, more than you can ever know that I didn't pay attention and missed giving you what you gave me, the very best experience of my existence".
"The very best", she looked up at me, her lips curving up and some of the blood leaving her face. Was she happy, not shamed by my rough usage, just embarrassed by the topic.
"Perhaps, Bella, only if it's what you want, we could try again?" I gently held her shoulders so that I could look into her face, read her eyes. Relief, happiness a very small amount of trepidation. Mostly though, I think, mostly anticipation.
I shifted her around so that she was facing me. Held her beautiful face in my hands. I kissed her mouth, breathed into her and then inhaled her taste. I was already there. My body now screaming to throw her back and bury myself in her thighs (A/N: I hope it's not too much. I've certainly read worse on this site alone since I wrote ch. 1). No, wait, back up. This is for her. I would not use her. She is my wife, not an object in which to gratify my urges.
I ran my tongue over her lips, her heart raced. Her tiny, hot hands ran over my chest, down my stomach. I brought my hands up from her waist, making circles with my thumbs. She loves this, her eyes, the pupils dilating, breath already coming faster. Cupping her breast, God, her perfect breasts. Her taste, her scent, freesias and woman. Female, heat and mine.
I will not be overcome, for the love of all that's holy, I will serve her properly. I will please her, worship her, cherish her, love her.
I moved my mouth to meet my hands. Brought her nipple into my mouth, stopping before my teeth could touch her. She sighed, took a deep breath and tangled her fingers in my hair. Drawing me closer. Why hadn't I touched her before. This was safe. It brought her so much joy and illustrated my desire for her. I brought her other nipple into my mouth, touching the tip with my tongue and manipulating the rest with my lips. There it was, that scent.
I know she wants this. For her, only for her. Keeping my mouth busy, I lifted her off of my lap and laid her back. I lay down at her side and moved back to her mouth. Running my hands gently over her. Gently, but firmly massaging her back and her waist. Sinfully lingering on her bottom. I really like her bottom. Stop, back up. For her. One more little squeeze. Bella sucked in a quick breath. She likes this too?
Bracing myself on one hand, I went back to her breast with my mouth and opposite hand, rolling my eyes up to her face. Her eyes were closed, her lips were swollen and red. Her breath coming in tiny pants. Her whole face flushed with heat and blood. A light dew of perspiration making her slick in my mouth and hand. Carefully thinking of the images Jasper shared with me, and belatedly realizing that Jasper, at least, was trying to share only to show me what to do, I slid my hand over her stomach and down to where that scent was strongest. I ran just one cold finger over that heat and she gasped. Her eyes opened briefly. I watched as I slowly slid that finger inside of her. Another gasp. I smiled around her breast. This was good.
Bella was keeping her hands in my hair. I think in an effort to hold my mouth in place. Showing me that this is where she wanted me. It was no great sacrifice. I could think of only one other place I'd like to have my mouth. No, back up, not now. Blocking that image out, I renewed my focus on the job at hand.
I moved my finger inside of her, gathering moisture. Plenty. Moving back out to distribute the wetness evenly. In, out, around, a mantra to please Bella. Sliding my finger back in, I brought my thumb to circle where Jasper had shown me would be best. Her hips jerked up. Pushing herself farther onto my finger and harder against my thumb.
Losing my focus on gently holding her nipple in my mouth, now just rubbing my lips over it, I slid a second finger inside her and made love to her with my hand. Always keeping my thumb circling and then running directly over that spot. Her moan was incredible. I strangle the desire to crawl over her body and just ---
I leaned up to kiss her mouth again and traced her lips with my tongue. If only I could lay here and taste her and touch her all night, all week, forever. Her hips were jerking and thrusting against my hand, crying out with each thrust. So beautiful...
"Edward," she whispered. "Edward, I need you". "What do you need love?". This wasn't teasing. I desperately need her guidance. I could feel the muscles inside of her grasping my fingers. This was different than when I had been inside. She'd been hot and slick and tight around me, but not like this. Maybe it was too much for her human frame, maybe we wouldn't be able to have intercourse again until she was changed. This was wondrous. This was more than enough, more than I had hoped for.
"I need you inside of me" another tortured whisper. "No, Bella, this is better." I moved my fingers faster and with more force. Her breath came faster than I thought possible.
"No, Edward, you inside me, now!" Okay, that was very clear. I slid over her slowly and withdrew my fingers. Very gently I guided myself to her again and pushed into her. Her hips thrust up to meet me and I was nearly done. Control lost. She was tighter now than before. I placed one finger back on that spot that gave her so much pleasure a moment ago and we began again.
I gave up trying to kiss her mouth and just watched her move underneath me. Seemingly, against all odds, I'd figured this part out. Concentrating on maintaining a rhythm with my fingers and my body, she moved with me. Drawing me deeper and faster with every jerk of her hips. Suddenly, her body tightened around me in a way I hadn't known was possible. She screamed my name, My name. I could feel the spasms of her orgasm and let go my control.
I gripped her arms, collapsed on top of her and thrust in again and again. She breathed and moved and cried my name. Her fingernails looking for purchase in my back. This was so much better. So fucking incredible.
Spent, I moved off her and pulled her on top of me. I brought the sheet up to her waist and wrapped my arms around her. She held me tightly, rubbing her face against my chest.
"I love you Edward, I love you" flowed from her lips as she sighed deeply, sleep coming to claim her. Heavy brown eyes closing.
"I love you Bella, more than I have words for. Sleep now. I'm here." And for once, since 1918, ALL was right with the world. We were husband and wife. She was mine, completely, just as I was hers.
As the light from dawn began to creep into our room, I looked down at her, wanting to watch the light travel over her skin. I found that I had been mistaken, horribly mistaken. All was not right with the world. Her torso was mottled with purple and on her arms, her tiny, soft arms, were perfect blue impressions of my fingers.
A/N: The sentence structure (or lack thereof) in this chapter is mostly purposeful. I am trying to express Edward's lack of coherency. Hopefully, it's not too confusing. Some of it is just plain incorrect. 12th grade English grammar was a very long time ago. Let me know what you think. I am thinking of angsty evilness for the next experiment.