"That was evil, un..." Deidara trailed off, as the group ran away from Konoha.
Naruto smirked devilishly. "It would take ages for someone to taste ALL the flavours of ALL the stands." Hidan looked up from his sling appreciatively.
"Naru-chan's hot when he's evil." He said, and Naruto pretended to not hear. Jiraiya looked up in thought.
"Our group should have an awesome name...like Voo Doo or something...ya know...cuz we're like voodoo dolls...and Jashinists sorta do voodoo..."
"There's Oto." Jiraiya said unnecessarily. "Team Voo Doo, we've got to go in unnoticed!" Sasori glared at the other plushie.
"For the last time, Jiraiya-san, we are NOT going by that name." He said, Deidara nodding.
Naruto stopped. "Wouldn't Orochimaru have loads of unused entrances and tunnels to get in and out of this place?" He asked.
Sai nodded. "I know of one." Naruto pouted.
"Then why didn't you say so earlier?" He asked. Sai chuckled.
"It was a surprise." He said. Deidara rolled his eyes. Hidan glared at Sai warningly.
"Can you please stop with this love-fest? We're in the middle of a mission!" He growled, and Sai shrugged.
"We'll continue this later." He purred to Naruto, who just smiled.
Sai led them to a large hill, where a cave was visible. They were about to step forward, when Sasuke stepped out, Sharingan trained on them, Naruto in particular. He looked the blonde up and down, as if searching for any irregularities.
"Naruto." He said, and Naruto stepped forward.
"Sasuke-kun." He answered, with a small bow. Hidan glared.
Sai moved closer to Naruto, ready to defend. Sasuke watched this with a small frown.
"You've brought a team." He observed, and Naruto smirked.
"Yeah, an ex-ROOT member," He moved his head toward Sai. "A sannin." He pointed to Jiraiya. "And three ex-Akatsukis" He vaguely waved to the others. "We've got a mission, and we really don't want you to get in the way."
Deidara started. "What? We can't beat him up a little, un?" He asked, and met Naruto's Glare Of Doom©.
"NO." He said, and Hidan made a face.
"Not even a-"
"There's no use." Jiraiya interrupted. "Sasuke is Naruto's 'favourite'. You'd be committing suicide if you annoyed him." Naruto smirked. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, silently repeating the word in question to himself.
"Exactly, Deidara-kun, Hidan-kun." He refocused on Sasuke. "You smell like snake blood." He commented. Sasuke stepped further out of the cave, hand resting on his sword hilt, relaxed.
"I disposed of an annoyance." He answered, and it was clear that he had killed Orochimaru.
"See, guys, THIS is why Sasuke is my favourite." He said, and Sai stared at Sasuke intently.
"Favourite what, exactly, Naru-chan?" He asked, and Naruto stared at him in return.
"Eh, my favorite human, friend, team mate- nah, not team mate." He corrected at the end.
Sasori just rolled his eyes. "Are we to bypass the Uchiha then, Naruto-kun?" He asked seriously, and Naruto nodded.
Sasuke watched this whole conversation with a hint of confusion. "Just what is your mission?" He asked.
"Well...you know where Kabuto is, ne?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, we need something he has. So we're gonna get it." He said, walking forwards, holding Hidan.
"Yeah! I'm sick of being just a head! I need to beat up Sai for being too close to Naru-chan!" He announced. Sai twitched. Naruto smirked.
"No, I'll do that myself, thank you very much." Naruto said. Turning back to Sasuke, he spoke, "Sasuke-kun, can you tell us where he is? After killing the head snake, I doubt you'd still be with Oto." He said, and Sasuke gave a small nod.
"He's probably in Orochimaru's room. I passed him as I left." He said. "Walk for a while, turn left, third door on the left." He said, and began to walk away. "Naruto." he called, and Naruto looked over from the cave to him.
"Ne?" He asked. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.
"Why do you act differently when you're not with Leaf nins?" He asked. Naruto smiled.
"Because they fear what they don't understand." He explained. "I hope you do not fear me, Sasuke-kun." He teased, eyes glowing. Sasuke 'hn'ed., before staring at Sai, eyes glaring somewhat.
"Your teammateshould stop staring and back off. He's too confident for a replacement. " He said, for reasons unknown, then jumped away. Sai's eyes burned as he watched the figure retreat. Naruto blinked in confusion, then shrugged.
"Come, guys. We've got a traitor to steal from!" He said, and they sneaked in.
"Hello, Kabuto-chan." Naruto growled, holding the older ninja against the wall, hand clamped round his neck.
"N-Naruto-kun..." Kabuto gasped, before regaining his composure. "Hello, Naruto-kun. I can't talk right now, as my leader has just been killed." He said, Naruto smirked.
"Taking it well, aren't you?" He asked. "We're after your body scroll. You can hand it over now, or we could take it from your corpse." He threatened. Kabuto smiled.
"So you're much smarter than I thought you were." He said, and reached into his pocket. Naruto glared.
"Coldness is not intelligence." He said, watching the traitor carefully. Kabuto didn't seem to respond, and pulled out his scroll. Deidara took it, reading the words inked on it carefully.
"This is it, un." He confirmed. Naruto smiled, letting Kabuto go slowly.
"Good boy." He almost purred. He looked down at Orochimaru's body. "Don't let him take you as a vessel. To properly live, you need to live on your own." He said, and they walked out, strangely not meeting any resistance.
Naruto flicked the scroll open expertly, running his pricked thumb over three kanji without looking. Three blank, male bodies appeared on the three altars. He drew seals of his own around and on them, the purple flames his only light. He sat back, looking at his work.
The first two bodies were roughly the same age, and as Kabuto didn't seem to have had a body Jiraiya's age, in it's stead, Naruto used an thirty-years old corpse, smiling at the knowledge that his teacher would live longer than he would have naturally.
He sat down, crossing his legs, Jashin's sign glowing below him. He opened his eyes, which were bright purple, the world around him looking darker. His eyes softened as he thought of the three bodiless souls, sleeping above, unaware that they would wake up in a different place, with a different body.
He looked up to the ceiling. He placed his hands together in prayer, rosary hanging from them. The flames around him shot up, sending purple light everywhere. He lowered his head, and started to chant, in a strange language.
"...Whatcha doing, un?" A voice asked from behind him. Naruto freaked out.
"AH!" The flames shot up again, before shrinking. Naruto turned to unleash his RAGE©. "Deidara-kun, DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!" Deidara jumped back, hands up.
"G-gomen, un! I was just wondering." Naruto breathed out, annoyed.
"I'm putting Sasori-kun, Jiraiya-kun, and Hidan-kun back into bodies." He explained. Deidara's eyes brightened.
"Really?" Naruto nodded. Deidara looked over the bodies. "There's no old body here, un..." Naruto nodded.
"I'm placing Jiraiya into a younger body, so he'll live longer." Naruto sighed. "I don't know how he'll take it..." Deidara grinned.
"He'd probably like it! He'll be able to flirt with girls without being all old and ugly." Naruto smiled.
"I'm going to do it now, so please be quiet."
"Why?" Another voice asked. This voice was deep, and almost growley. The two turned to see a stange man, with long black hair and blood red eyes, staring at them. Deidara whimpered like a little girl.
"Oh, hi, Ryu-kun." He nudged Deidara. "This is the vampire I was talking about." Deidara, who was in the middle of readying a bomb, stopped.
"Oh." Ryu raised a hand in greeting.
"I just woke up. What's going on?" He asked. Naruto sighed, and explained everything that was going on. Ryu's eyebrows rose comically.
"So nearly every guy that lives here, plus that Sasuke guy, is acting strange around you? I don't get you humans..."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Now, can I get back to this?" He gestured to the bodies. Ryu pouted.
"I thought those were sacrifices for me..." He whined. Naruto stared at him until he shut up.
"Thank you." Naruto resumed his chant, and the flames shot back up. Deidara and Ryu watched in awe as the air was filled with purple smoke, which flew into the two dolls and head, and came out in the shape of the three guys. The smoke then proceeded to enter the corpses.
"And now," Naruto spoke. "The merging." The bodies shook as the souls entered, spasming and twisting. Deidara winced slightly, but continued to watch in gross fascination as the corpses' features began to change into Hidan's, Jiraiya's and Sasori's image. The purple died away, and the bodies started breathing.
"Wow..." Deidara breathed out. Ryu nodded. "Naruto-chan, are they alive now...?" He trailed off as Naruto swayed back and forth, before falling down, unconscious. "Naruto-chan!" He caught the boy before he hit the floor, and picked him up. "I'll take him to his bed."
Ryu looked over the newly animated bodies. "I'll stay here and guard these guys then." The two nodded.
Hidan groaned. "What hit me? I feel like I've been sucked through a straw..." he used a hand to wipe the sleep from his eyes, then froze. "Wait a second..."
Jiraiya stretched out yawning. "What is it, baka?" He said, and sent a message to his hair to move the covers he expected to be lying under. Nothing moved. "What the..."
Both men jumped up, looking down at themselves. "WE HAVE BODIES AGAIN!"
They were silent for a moment.
"Why am I so young?" Jiraiya asked, confused.
"Why are we naked?" Hidan yelled. Sasori rolled his eyes from the chair he was sitting on in the corner.
"Naruto must have returned us to our bodies when we were asleep." He looked himself over. "It's been a long time since I was human..."
"Yo." A person, hidden in the shadows, greeted. Everyone jumped.
"Who's there?" Hidan called. Ryu stepped into view.
"I'm Ryu, the resident vampire. I told Deidara I'd look after you guys while he kept an eye on Naruto-kun." All three men started to pay attention.
"Where is Naru-chan anyway?" Hidan asked. Ryu smiled slightly.
"He passed out after the ritual. It was too much for him." Jiraiya and Hidan jumped up, ready to run upstairs, making Ryu cover his eyes. "PLEASE GET CHANGED FIRST!" He passed them three bundles of clothes.
After they got dressed (Jiraiya in his normal clothes, now extremely baggy on him, Hidan in a Jashist robe, and Sasori in some of Naruto's clothes, which was another white shirt and black pants) they walked up the stairs with quite a bit of trouble. The house was dark.
"*GASP* Naru-chan, where- *HUFF* are you?" Jiraiya called out. Sai walked out from the bedroom.
"He's still asleep." He looked at the three. "You've got your bodies back." He simply said. Jiraiya grinned.
"Yeah! I'm young and sexy again!" He almost ran out of the apartment to the baths, but Sasori stopped him.
"We can't leave. You're supposed to be dead. We don't know how Konoha would react." Jiraiya deflated.
"Don't worry, Jiraiya-ecchi. You can go chase girls later." A soft voice spoke from behind them. Naruto had come in, tired and pale, with dark rings around his eyes. Sai handed him a cup of tea, and he sat down at the table slowly.
"Naru-chan! What's wrong?" Hidan said, slightly loud. He sat on Naruto's right and Sai on his left. Naruto looked him over, taking in his whole form, before slowly looking away, not showing much of any fear outwardly.
"Nothing. I'm just tired. That ritual took a bit too much energy from me." He yawned cutely. "What day is it today?" He asked. Sai looked up, thinking.
"Monday." Naruto groaned.
"Noooooooooo...Team Training..." He muttered into his arm on the table.
Jiraiya patted him on the head. "You know, you can tell Tsunade that you brought me back, and she'd more than happily give you the day off." Naruto cocked his head to the side.
"I could..." He said. Jiraiya jumped up.
"Please! I'm a sannin; I could easily tell them to lay off while you rest up!" Naruto got up.
"I'll probably regret this, but it is time to tell Baa-chan that you're alive." He turned to Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara. "After this, people might come over here more. I'm going to set up a second home in the dungeon, so I don't have to throw you into the closet whenever anyone comes over." Hidan, Sai, Jiraiya and Naruto all smirked.
Deidara and Sasori looked confused, and Ryu walked into the room, looking around.
"I haven't been in here for years. Naruto-kun, this is a nice place." Naruto smiled.
"Thanks Ryu-san." Ryu waved it off. He carefully looked out the window, avoiding the rays of light that spilled from it.
"I'll probably go out to feed tonight. I haven't eaten in years." Naruto looked calm, but everyone else twitched.
"OH PLEASE DON'T SUCK MY BLOOD!" Deidara cried, jumping into Sasori's arms. Sasori blinked, then hesitantly returned the embrace. Naruto 'aaww'd.
"I'll go change into my orange jumpsuit..." Naruto said, turning to his bedroom, but Jiraiya stopped him.
"I don't think they'll be caring about what clothes you're wearing! Come on!" Naruto smiled slightly.
"Come on Sai-kun." He said. Sai got ready to go, and Hidan looked away, annoyed. Naruto walked up to the other Jashinist.
"Hidan-kun..." Hidan looked down at the blonde, who, after a pause of hesitation, hugged him.
"I'll be back, if I'm lucky." He said, looking up Hidan, but addressing the whole room.
Deidara and Sasori waved goodbye, and Ryu smiled, going back downstairs. The three left the apartment, noticing all the stares and glares they got along the way.