Disclaimer: Paramount owns them but I won't treat them any worse than they did.
A/N: Special thanks to my girls… they know why.
By Gates Hepburn
"Is it wrong to wish someone ill?" B'Elanna asked Kathryn as they set the table for lunch at the older woman's home.
"I mean, is it wrong of me to derive pleasure from this message I received earlier?" she retrieved a PADD from her pocket and passed it to Kathryn who took it and started to peruse its content.
"SEVEN IS PREGNANT?" Kathryn nearly choked on the word before she caught herself. "Um, well… No of course it's not wrong to take pleasure from this news."
"Keep reading." B'Elanna smiled at her friend.
"I'm really not sure I want to." There were still some bitter feelings between Kathryn and Seven. Seven had in fact tried to steal her man, but true love won that match very quickly and if she had to admit it, Seven was the catalyst for her finally confessing her love to Chakotay.
"Give it here, I'll do it," B'Elanna took the PADD quickly scanning it for what she wanted. "Aha! The fun stuff, a list of her symptoms to date: Intense morning sickness," she read with a big smile directed pointedly at Kathryn.
When B'Elanna had been pregnant with Miral, Seven had followed her around fascinated by the whole process, especially her brief bout of morning sickness, although the very idea of vomiting had shaken Seven to the core.
"Excessive weight gain," B'Elanna continued, her smile growing, "What a shame, I guess she'll finally have to give up those cat suits. Backaches--"
"You'd think she'd be used to those." Kathryn couldn't help but quip and nodded for her friend to continue reading the list.
"Incontinence, gas, varicose veins and all sorts of swelling that is making even her implants uncomfortable. Bed rest—"
The room was filled with laughter. The idea of Seven on bed rest was too much for both of them as Seven found the whole idea of laying down to sleep completely irrelevant and she still chose to use her regeneration unit as opposed to a bed, even now that she was involved in a relationship and didn't technically need to regenerate.
"We're horrible people you realize, for laughing at this."
"Yes, but it sure does feel good."
"An old German word meaning pleasure derived from someone else's misfortune."
"Good word." B'Elanna smiled, she'd have to remember that one for future use. "There's one more."
"Odd cravings. It seems that the baby takes after its father and Miss Taste-is-irrelevant-and-therefore-I-shall-eat-only-my-bland-nutritional-supplements, is craving the spiciest foods the Bolians have to offer."
The room was again filled with laughter as Chakotay chimed in from the doorway with Tom, "Chell must be in his glory."
Kathryn smiled at her friend and squeezed her hand, "Thank you for the laugh, B'Elanna, I didn't realize how much I needed it."
"After the hell she has put us all through, it was definitely coming."
"Hmmm?" she managed as she sipped her lemonade.
"I hope she gets unsightly stretch marks."
B'Elanna couldn't stop the flow of lemonade from her nose as they all laughed again.
"And thank you for not giving mommy any of those problems," Kathryn whispered to the sleeping infant in Chakotay's arms as she placed a kiss on his downy head before they all sat down to eat.