Dark Side by AndromedaMarine

If the Dark Side has made cookies
Then I'd like to join them now
And if it's chocolate cake I want
A kitten with a meow.

If the Dark Side is recruiting
A militia of Sick Lords,
I wonder if the bad guys have
Some Nyquil for their hordes.

If the Dark Side has crossed over
And the Goa'ulds are here
Is there a place to go when the
Earth's destruction is near?

If the Dark Side has some issues
Like psychos or depression,
Can I say that I withdraw from
All this dang recession?

If the Dark Side is just stupid
And the rebels stage a coup,
Will I be affected when the
Rebels use their kung-fu?

If the Dark Side is so awesome
That I just cannot refuse
Will someone tell me when I've died?
That has to make the news.

If the Dark Side calls me over
Before I can run away
Darth Vader's got a reason now
To "I'm your father" say.

If the Dark Side isn't faking
And they're really not that bad
Does it matter that Vader's kids
Are following a fad?

If the Dark Side offers candy
Instead of them desserts
I'm sorry, but I'll stay with Luke.
He's used to them outskirts.

If the Dark Side has some madness
Like my own insanity
Is it any real surprise
That Obi Wan's ghosty?

So if the Dark Side is my place
With the cookies and the guns
I'm afraid I have to say that
Rebels have all the fun.