Disclaimer: RunningGunStudios owns Spriggs. I'm just borrowing the characters.
A/N- A slight AU fic. This is set before the events of the show but Meme is at the base as well.
Also yes, I know it's not Christmas time but the story wouldn't leave me alone. Also as we don't know much about the characters I'm just going with the assumption that they celebrate Christmas merely for the purpose of this fic. Not some misguided notion that everyone in the world celebrates the same things I do.
Now please read, review and enjoy.
Christmas With Spriggs
"Triple M why are we hiding these?" Meme looked down at the box's they had piled up in the rations storage room. "I don't think anyone's actually going to peek at their gifts..."
"It's not that. We just have to hide the ones for Spriggs."
Triple M glanced over at her. "Why do you think?"
Meme looked skeptical. "Willy steals them?"
"Not exactly...More like booby traps them."
Meme stared at him.
"Yeah...the last time we gave gifts at Christmas, Willy attached a bomb to the one he gave Spriggs."
"And then what?"
"Spriggs found out about it and got rid of the thing."
"Well that's good."
"Not really, he threw the bomb into the rest of the gifts and they were all destroyed."
"Then the tree caught on fire. We spent the rest of the day putting out the fire and cleaning up the mess it left behind. Well Hammer and I did. Willy ran off trying to kill Spriggs again."
"Hammer cleaned something?"
Triple M smiled sheepishly. "Okay, he ordered me to do it."
"I'm not surprised." Meme rolled her eyes than looked back at the packages. "Right. Now where are we putting these?"
"I was thinking somewhere in here. Willy never comes in the ration storage room. Come to think of it, I have no idea where he gets his food."
Triple M chuckled. "For Willy? That's practically normal behavior. Now I was thinking if we removed the cases we could stack the gifts behind them..."
"...So they wouldn't show...." Meme nodded. "That could work."
Luckily most of the packages were small so they didn't require many cases to hide them.
"There." Triple M wiped his hands. "Maybe this year I won't have to spend Christmas cleaning up burnt tree bits."
"One can only hope." Meme replied dryly. "Come on, lets go make sure Hammer hasn't destroyed the base."
"I still can't believe you got him to make cookies."
"Blackmail works wonders Triple M."
The bases kitchen was not well equipped to handle attempts to make Christmas cookies.
"God dammit." Hammer tossed another tray to the side. Sometimes it really sucked having your ex-girlfriend in the same base as you.
As he did he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Willy what are you doing?"
Caught, Willy stopped in his tracks. "What am I doing?"
"Yes, what are you doing."
Hammer rolled his eyes. "No shit. Why are you sneaking around the base with a strange box behind your back?"
"This? It's not strange." Willy held out the object. "It's...a package."
"Another explosive gift for Spriggs?"
"No!" Willy replied with indignation. "I did that last year, he'd expect something like that. Besides, Triple M confiscated my gift."
"So what's that?"
"New shipment of parts." Willy shrugged.
Hammer frowned. "When did we get a shipm-"
"Sorry, can't talk." In a moment Willy was gone.
Hammer sighed as he turned back to the bases poor excuse for a kitchen. "He's going to blow us all up again. I just know it."
He was just finishing up when he heard her voice.
"So Hammer...." Meme smirked as she walked into the room. "How's the baking going?"
"I hate you."
"So you've said."
Hammer glared over at her as he tossed a cloth aside. "I'd better get those photo's after this."
"Don't worry you will.
He just rolled his eyes at the look on her face. Meme was chuckling as she started to leave the room.
"Nice apron by the way."
"Oh shut up." He started but a moment later he was nearly blinded by a camera flash.
A while later, in the break room Triple M, Willy and Meme were taking a look at the picture she had managed to take.
"That is one god ugly apron." Willy commented and then grinned. "It's so going on my blog."
Meme grabbed the camera back. "Get your own picture. I'm using this for blackmail."
"Oh come on." Willy pleaded. "I need some more embarrassing pictures. The last one I had was of Triple M with his dolls."
"I told you!" Triple M protested. "They were action figures, not dolls!"
"Right...Now anyway. I'll trade you for the picture."
Meme raised an eyebrow. "Trade me what?"
"A recording of Hammer, drunk. Singing, we are the champions."
"How the hell did you get that?"
Willy shrugged. "I have camera's set up all over the base. Do you want it or not?"
Triple M looked a little unnerved at this new piece of information but Meme nodded. "Fine."
"Awesome! I'm going to get so many hits on that." He looked at the picture. "Where did we get that apron anyway?"
"Rainbow squad sent it as a joke." Triple M replied as he rolled his eyes. "I think it's one of Sarah Pink's."
"That would explain the pink hearts then."
"Yeah...." Meme rolled her eyes and walked off.
"So Willy..." Triple M started a moment later. "You wouldn't happen to be planning anything for Christmas, would you?"
"What are you talking about?"
Triple M rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"
"The small elves that--"
Triple M glared as Willy just laughed.
"You're not going to try to blow up Spriggs again are you?"
"Of course not."
"Well that's a-"
"Why would I just try to blow him up."
Triple M slapped his forehead. "Willy..."
"Don't worry...this time I'll get him for sure." At this he went off laughing evilly. Triple M however just groaned.
The next day Triple M managed to track down Hammer. It was the day before Christmas and Willy had been suspiciously absent.
"He's doing what?"
"Plotting to kill Spriggs again."
"No really...I never would have guessed." Hammer replied sarcastically. "I thought you said you hid the gifts for Spriggs?"
"Well he can't use those then."
"He's just going to try some other way."
Hammer shrugged. "We'll just have to wait and see."
Triple M frowned and muttered as Hammer turned to walk away. "Great strategy idiot..."
"What was that Special Agent?"Hammer turned quickly.
"Good, now go report to toilet detail."
Christmas day was one of slight suspicion. So far nothing had blown up. Much to everyone's surprise.
"Where did he even get the tree?" Meme was looking at a oddly decorated pine tree that seemed very out of place in the base
"Same place he gets all his supplies." Hammer commented, then looked at the tree oddly. "Hey. I think somethings wrong with the top though. It looks like it's falling over."
Meme shrugged. "So?"
"Hey Spriggs." Hammer called over to the soldier who was standing by Triple M. "Go see what's wrong with the tree top."
The man nodded and Hammer turned back to Meme.
"Because he's the tallest."
Triple M walked over to them. "Have you guys seen Willy?"
"No actually..."Hammer replied but was cut short.
"I've got you now Spriggs!!!"
Willy stood at the doorway, in his armor and a moment later something exploded. The next thing they knew, the tree was on fire.
"God damn it!"
The three solders shielded themselves from the heat.
"I'll get the fire extinguisher." Hammer sighed, glad he'd decided to keep one close today.
Willy, who had still been laughing, stopped in mid laugh as he was shot at.
Spriggs, also now in his armor had re-entered the room.
"Ahh, noo!"A few moments later, Willy was chasing after Spriggs, firing wildly. "Get back here..!"
"The tree was burning brightly, consuming all the box's underneath it, as well.
"Well there goes the afternoon." Triple M commented as he shook his head.
Hammer had come back into the room at that moment and started to put out the fire. "God I hate those two."
"Nice tradition you have here." Meme commented, with a raised eyebrow as the tree was extinguished.
"We are not going through that again." Hammer replied, throwing the extinguisher to the floor as he finished. "I don't care if we have to tie them up next year."
"Good luck with that." Triple M scoffed.
The soldier sighed. "I'll get the bags sir."
After getting the bags Triple M walked slowly back to the room. He could still hear Willy's yells. He wasn't going any faster because the last thing he wanted was to clean up the mess.
He ran into Meme outside the room. "Oh good, just leave the bags here. Hammer said he'd clean up."
"Right...." Triple M looked suspicious. "I'm sure he did."
"Something about a recording of some sort." Meme shrugged, holding a box. "I couldn't make it all out over the swearing."
"Ah..." Triple M got her meaning. "Alright then." He dropped the bags in the door way. Deciding not to test his luck he started to walk down the hallway. Meme walked next to him.
An explosion went off from outside.
"Must be Willy." Triple M commented. "Let's go see if he hit Spriggs."
"I doubt it."
However the two of them made their way to the top of the base. Off in the distance Willy was firing at Spriggs.
"This really is better then tv." Triple M commented as they watched Willy curse as once again he missed Spriggs.
"Cookie?" Meme opened a box of cookies that were slightly burnt around the edges.
"Hammer actually made these?...I'll pass."
Meme shrugged. "Alright." Looking back towards the two fighting soldiers. "You really do have some strange traditions."
"If you like that." Triple M laughed. "You should see what happens on New Years Eve."
I hope you liked the story. A strange story I know. Again...people, we need more Spriggs stories!
Leave a review and tell me what you think.