Because I hate Valentine's Day, and on that day, I will be doing exactly what Leah and Jacob are doing (mind you, I won't be doing it with a smoking hot werewolf, sadly). So I won't be posting. Probably.
BTW, this is pre-BD. And by pre, I mean BD never existed. The spawn is not existent.
When Jacob Black opened up his door, he didn't really know who he expected to find. It was Valentine's Day- who would be knocking at his door? Even Billy was out, celebrating with all his single friends (although celebrating what, Jacob hadn't the foggiest). A small, irrational part of Jacob's brain thought that maybe it was Bella, but he shoved that aside quickly. She was long gone, and Jacob didn't care. He was over her. For the most part.
So Jacob was pretty confused when, upon opening his door, he saw Leah Clearwater, armed with enough food to feed a small army and enough movies to occupy them until the apocalypse.
"Uh… what are you doing?" He asked her as she bared her teeth (Leah's form of a smile) and shoved past him into the house. She walked into the living room, placing all her food onto the table and then spreading out all the movies she had brought, contemplating each one.
"Leah?" He asked. She turned to him, as if she had just remembered he was there.
"We," she said, "are having an anti-Valentine's Day day."
Jacob gave her an odd look. "Excuse me?"
"Listen. I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day since Sam. And you have been moping after Bella for the past what, year?"
"I have not been moping-"
"Yes, yes, I know, 'I'm over her!'" Leah did a (very accurate) impression of Jacob. He found himself smiling against his will.
"But anyway. We're going to forget all about them. I have food, and I specifically got food that has nothing to do with this god forsaken holiday. Chips. Gummy Bears. No chocolate, sadly, but that's a Valentine's Day cliché, and I couldn't have that."
"We're not going to be like, burning things, are we? You're not going to light Sam's clothes on fire in my garbage, are you?"
She laughed. "No."
Jacob looked at her for a long moment. For some reason, she looked… happy. As if celebrating anti-Valentine's Day with him made her happy. As if not having Sam to celebrate with was alright. As if she was happy with just him.
"Alright. What are those?" He asked, pointing towards the movie cases. She smirked.
He nodded. "Of course. Because what would anti-love be without flesh eating monsters?"
"Now you're getting it."
He picked up a movie case, examining the movies. "Bride of Killer Nerd, Weasels Rip my Flesh, Canadian Mounties vs. Atomic Invaders, Cannibal Rollerbabes, Ragazza tutta nuda assassinata nel parco…what does that mean?"
"'Totally nude woman killed in the park.' It has subtitles."
Jacob turned to her. "Are you serious?"
"What? My dad liked to collect these. My personal favourite is the Canadian Mounties one. Something about those red uniforms…"
Jacob shook his head, a smile spreading on his face.
"Alright. Which one first?"
Leah shrugged. "Pick one."
He studied the movies again. "It's between Wrestling Women vs. the Aztec Mummy, Vampire Hookers, and the Werewolf versus Vampire Women."
Leah smiled widely. "Go for the werewolf vs. vamp one. We can pretend the vampires are ones we know. And we can pretend we're the werewolves!"
Jacob let out a snort of laughter. "I got dibs on Edward Cullen."
Leah nodded. "Deal."
They spent the rest of the afternoon, evening, and night (and into the morning) watching movies and stuffing their faces. Finally, Leah sat up from where she had been leaning against Jacob.
"Alright, time to pack it in."
"Why?" Jacob asked, suddenly panicked. She turned to him.
"Jake, it's not even Valentine's Day anymore."
He shrugged. He had liked spending time with Leah. Had liked how she had made him forget about Bella. Had liked how she had leaned against him, and how somehow, during Dance of the Dwarfs, their fingers had become intertwined. He had liked her smell and the way she laughed and cheered on the villains in their movies. He didn't want her to leave.
"One more. Just stay through Ghoul Sex Squad."
She thought about it for a minute, before settling down into his side again.
"Fine. But just one more. I have to change my clothes eventually."
The truth was, Leah didn't want to leave, either.
These are real movies, people. Some more were;The Revenge of the Savage Bees, The Nostril Picker, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini, Gentlemen Don't Eat Poets and Naked You Die.