Pox and Crypto slowly came into Furon's orbit. They were preparing to depart to the planet's surface, when they started receiving a transmission. They believed it to be the rebels, but it was in reality Pox's right hand man... or woman, Cholera.

Cholera: Hello? Come in!

Pox: Cholera?!

Cholera: Emperor Orthopox! Thank the sacred crotch you made it away from the palace safely!

Pox: Where are you?

Cholera: Spying on the rebels. You won't believe this, but their leader is a HUMAN, who goes by the name of Dr. Everett Brown. He's also got some type of mutant freaks with him!

[Pox and Crypto look at each other with surprise and exclaim simultaneously "Human?! Dr. Brown?!... MAJESTIC!"]

Cholera: You know?

Crypto: Kinda. Listen sweet checks, just hold tight, we'll be down there before you can say "hooberfetzis".

[Pox and Crypto land at the rendezvous point with Cholera. After catching up with each other, they then formulate a plan to stealthily sneak into the Palace. Crypto disables several security mechanisms, allowing Pox and Cholera to slip in unnoticed, with Crypto soon following. They then meet in the Audience Chamber, or Throne Room.]

Crypto: Now we hit 'em where it hurts! It's time to take out Brown. What do you know.

Cholera: He's in the Throne Room in the tower. Spies have seen what looks like a doomsday weapon. You must hurry and stop the human.

Pox: We intend to. Let's go Crypto.

[Pox and Crypto took the elevator. This was it, their final confrontation. They were ready. However, as soon as they exited the elevator, they were immediately surrounded and disarmed by the guards. They stood their ground, but they were outnumbered and unarmed. The enemy had the upper hand. He turned to face them, cackling a cackle of pure evil. He bared striking resemblance to Christopher Lloyd, wearing a suit with matching black gloves and black leather boots.]

Dr. Brown: So, we meet at last, Orthopox and Cryptosporidium. I've been expecting you. I've been expecting you ever since Majestic was formed.

Crypto: Okay, that's it. I want some damn answers! Who the hell are you and what the hell is going on?!

Dr. Brown: [He sits on the throne] I'm sure you would. Ivan my friend, care to explain to these lost children?

[Ivan Oranchov walks out from behind the throne. He still resembles a Blisk Mutant, but he has donned a suit]

Oranchov: I would be happy too, master Brown.

Pox: You know, for some odd reason I'm astounded, yet I expected something like that to happen.

Crypto: Let me guess, you came back to life to get revenge too?

Oranchov: Actually no. I am working for Dr. Brown for money and power!

Crypto: Finally, something that wasn't predictable.

[In anger, Dr. Brown screams "Enough!" and then thrusts his hand forward, PK pushing Crypto into a wall]

Pox: [Looks on with astonishment] What the-?! How did you gain those abilities human?!

Dr. Brown: By unlocking the dormant Furon DNA locked within my brain.

Crypto: [Gets up off the floor with a grunt] Okay, how the hell did you know about that? We wiped all the American Majestic agents' memories...

Dr. Brown: That's because I'm the founder of Majestic.

Pox: But where did you get all of this knowledge, this technology, these weapons? No human from the mid 20th century could possibly know all of this!

Dr. Brown: You're right. You see, it all started when I slipped in a puddle of water on the sidewalk. The fall caused me to have a revelation! I spent the next several years working secretly on a project. Finally, after several years, I had finally succeeded. I developed time travel, using the revelation that I gained from my fall. The Flux Capacitor! I built the time traveling mechanism into a 1955 Moonbeam van , and then as a test, I decided to take a trip to the future to see how man had prospered. However, I discovered that somehow, early humans evolved into Furons and left the Earth, leaving their primitive counterparts, us, behind. Bent on learning more, I killed one and stole much of his technology, weaponry, schematics, and computers. After hacking into his files, I discovered an archive. All the knowledge of the past world I could ever want. I learned that the Furons took over the Earth and wiped the humans from the face of the planet. I then thought up a plan to give us a fighting chance. I collected the body and the stuff I stole, and stuffed it into the back of the Moonbeam. I then took it back with me, and then used it to collect DNA from the Furon. I then went back in time and injected the DNA into hundreds of early human ancestors. After returning to the present time, I then soon realized that I was the cause of the existence of both humans and Furons. After days of research, suddenly it all made sense, I injected too much DNA into several of the early humans, causing them to be able to evolve. Once they did, they created thousands of civilizations across the planet, before finally developing the tools they needed to leave the planet and colonize the galaxy. da Vinci was a Furon, and yes, it was his flying machine that allowed them to leave. Once they left, they named themselves Furons and changed it so that their names would all be nasty bacteria diseases, in order to strike fear into others. While they evolved into intelligent beings, the other early humans also began to prosper, only much more slowly, the Furon DNA within them allowing them to evolve and survive. Deciding that it would be too dangerous to try and stop myself, I placed myself in a time paradox to prevent myself from aging, and then spent years worth of time developing a plan to fight back and to make the human race the dominant race in the galaxy. After studying the archives in great detail, I had my plan, and my Furon abilities began to emerge after years of self training. The time paradox had been in effect for so long, I had inadvertently made myself unable to age, immortal! Finally I exited the Paradox in the early 20th century, and founded the Majestic, using the technology to show recruits the future. Within a year, Majestic had become the biggest and most secret organization on the planet, spreading to every civilization on the planet.. We waited for the day when you and Crypto would land on that small Georgia farm. We then set my plan into action. We would pose as a threat, keeping you occupied. From then on we allowed you to believe you were defeating us, and allowing you to take over the government. In Russia, we came in contact with the Blisk, and allowed them to believe we were helping them take over the world and get revenge, coming up with Project Solaris for them. While you were busy exterminating them for us, we prepared for the next phase of our plan. We used a recipe we found to manufacture Synthetic DNA. We used a rocket to send it to Furon along with a copy of the recipe and information on the Nexosporidium Cyborgs. Emperor Meningitis, being the fool he is, began producing them to serve as minions. Then the Master crash landed off the coast of China. We made a deal with him, revealing our plans. We helped him build the monastery, where he would lure you. Once you believed that Meningitis was an enemy, a few operatives and I boarded your saucer while using a cloaking device to hide ourselves, hitching a ride to your planet. There, we kidnapped several Furons and brainwashed them over time, to form a rebellion against Orthopox. While that took place, we began a DNA engineering program with the kidnapped Furons. We mutated them into obedient super soldiers. Once Orthopox fled, my plan was complete. I then used my armies to take control of the planet and enslaved the people. Now, once I destroy the both of you, I will have complete control, and the humans will rule forever! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pox: ...That it the most absurd thing I have ever heard! What about Arkvoodle?! The Martian War?!

Dr. Brown: Oh, the Martain War did indeed happen, but unfortunately, Arkvoodle was just a story spawned in order to put the Furons' faith in something. The idols were just statues with fluorescent lights and altered voice recordings.

Pox: Lies!

Dr. Brown: Oh really? Osteoporosis!

The Master: [He walks out carrying the stolen computer terminal] Hello, foolish slug!

Pox: I... I don't believe it!

The Master: Yes, it is true! And now that I have returned, I can at last take my revenge, and as a reward, Earth is MINE!

Dr. Brown: Ands soon I will destroy all Furon life, and the humans will rule, forever!

Pox: Ha! How do you treasonous swine plan to wipe us all out? You, a puny human, couldn't possibly-

Dr. Brown: Ah! But you are wrong. If you look over the railing at the sides of the room, you'll see the galaxy's largest nuclear reactor, which is powering a weapon that fires a massive pulse of pure energy, incinerating any organic lifeform outside this room. Prepare to die Furons!

Crypto: That's it! DIE MONKEY! [He rolls and grabs his gun, shooting the computer terminal, causing it to explode, killing the Master and blowing Oranchov out a window, where he is impaled on one of the palace's spires, and also dies]

Dr. Brown: [He reacts quickly, drawing a Furon Plasma Saber, igniting it's glowing red blade, and then throwing it, which afterwards it impales Crypto in the chest]

Pox: Crypto!

Crypto: [He staggers a little] Son of a... [He collapses, and then Dr. Brown uses PK to reclaim the weapon]

Pox: You... You monster! Nobody screws with my Furon Warrior but me! [He notices another saber on a shelf and uses PK to grab it, then ignites it's glowing green blade]

[Pox and Dr. Brown clashed sabers, dodging, bobbing, weaving, and performing almost dance-like saber strikes. They locked their sabers, glaring at each other. Dr. Brown, possessing other types of PK, such as pyrokinesis, began to shoot flames from his hands. Pox successfully blocked, though his robes were singed. As they clashed, they both lost their balance as the tower shook. It was being attacked by a squad of Saucers, under Cholera's command]

Cholera: [in the cockpit] Alright boys, let's stomp this human into the floor! Keep formation, and DO NOT hit the Emperor!

[Dr. Brown and Pox both dodged and saucer fire came in through a window, causing the tower to shake more. Dr, Brown, angered by the attack, used his PK to slam the saucers together, causing them to crash land in fiery explosions. Pox and Dr. Brown stood off, circling each other]

Dr. Brown: Soon you will join your friends.

Pox: Ha! You are the fool who will have and epitaph on his gravestone!

Dr. Brown: You're species will have more gravestones than I will. I am immortal!

Crypto: Let's... see... if you really ARE! [He runs at a surprised Dr. Brown, and then drop kicks him, before falling to the floor and losing consciousness again]

[Dr. Brown loses his balance and tumbles over the railing into the reactor shaft, screaming as he falls. He lands in the reactor, the immense power vaporizing his body before being distorted. The reactor begins to over load, and small explosions begin occurring, as pieces of the walls and ceiling begin crumbling down. Without hesitation, Pox pushes a button, then grabs Crypto and runs toward the window as a massive explosion happens behind him. Pox leaps out into the Saucer's cockpit just before the fire bursts out the side of the top of the tower, and he then pilots the saucer away, as the tower and parts of the building explodes]

[Sometime later, a mass of Furons have gathered at a public speaking place. Pox approaches the podium on the stage]

Pox: My fellow Furons! We have all fought with bravery, and now, I am pleased to say, the Nega-Furons and their leaders have been destroyed! [The crowd cheers] And now, I am even more pleased to say that ALL immediate threats to the Furon empire have been extinguished FOREVER! [He raises his fist to the sky as the crown erupts with applause] Now that our threats have been neutralized, WE will work together to build our empire, and reach unprecedented expansion! [Crypto walks out of the medical center, onto a balcony] But, I could not have accomplished this alone. Thanks to all of the Furons who helped in the fight and gave their lives, and thanks especially goes to my lifetime colleague and partner, Cryptosporidium.

Crypto: [From the balcony] Heh, you're welcome Pox. No body else cleans up after your messes like I do. [He gives a Furon salute to Pox, to which Pox also salutes]

Pox: Now is the time for us to shine, now-

[Cholera walks out onto the balcony and kisses Crypto, then gives him a seductive look]

Pox: [Has noticed] Oh for Arkvoodle's sake! CRYPTO! Stop fornicating with my secretaries! [Everyone becomes disturbed and leaves] ...Wait! Where are you going? I'm giving a speech here! Don't ignore me like the player in the first game! Come back I say!

[Inside the hospital, Crypto and Cholera are making love on a bed, and then Crypto pulls the curtain around them. The screen fades to black]

[The Credits Roll]

[Credits Song: We Didn't Start The Fire – Billy Joel]


J. Grant Albrecht as Crypto

Richard Steven Horvitz as Pox

Nika Futterman as Silhouette

Anthony Stuart Head as Ponsonby

Natalie Portman as Cholera

and featuring

Christopher Lloyd as Dr. Everett Allan Brown

Additional voices provided by: Robin Williams, Jim Carrey, Simon Pegg, Richard Dawson, Amanda Bynes, James Earl Jones, Adam Sandler, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joan Rivers, Dee Bradley Baker, Jeff Bennett, Jim Cummings, Grey DeLisle, John DiMaggio, Bill Farmer, Nolan North, Gilbert Gottfried, Tom Kenny, and Michael Winslow.

Destroy All Humans!™ and all it's related content is © THQ. All rights reserved.


Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, television
North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe

Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom
Brando, "The King and I" and "The Catcher in the Rye"

Eisenhower, vaccine, England's got a new queen
Marciano, Liberace, Santayana goodbye

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser aand Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc

Roy hn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, dacron
Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"

Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland

Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Krushchev
Princess Grace, "Peyton Place", trouble in the Suez

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac
Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, "Bridge on the River Kwai"

Lebanon, Charlse de Gaulle, California baseball
Starkweather, homicide, children of thalidomide

Buddy Holly, "Ben Hur", space monkey, Mafia
Hula hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no-go

U-2, Syngman Rhee, payola and Kennedy
Chubby Checker, "Psycho", Belgians in the Congo

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Hemingway, Eichmann, "Stranger in a Strange Land"
Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs invasion

"Lawrence of Arabia", British Beatlemania
Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston beats Patterson

Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex
JFK, blown away, what else do I have to say

We didn't start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it

Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodsto/ck/, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah's in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan

"Wheel of Fortune", Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China's under martial law
Rock and roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore

We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...]