Surprise to see me, Betty? I do hope you don't feel downright humiliated that your own brother got the best of you in the very end, are you? No wait—I do hope you are! In the end, I proved I was the best. I have always been the best, and yet you never accepted that. The so-called "façade" we put up, that we are adversaries always trying to better the other, went on even behind closed doors. Even during my years as the double agent, you have always taken credit. I was the one who got the information you wanted. And yet, I knew that it would ultimately be you who would get the credit for it. I would be long forgotten, only remembered as your whiny twin brother who was jealous of your so-called "genius".
And that is why I am doing this—that is why I decided to send Shego's tape off to Kim Possible, and why I will soon send off my own video.
But let me start from the beginning: The plan was simple enough: I would send ten invitations to each of the villains on our list, including one to myself, each using the bait I knew would reel the poor fish in to their demise. I would select the desolate Upperton Motel as our location, long abandoned for years and miles away from actual civilization. I would, with the click of a button on my hand, activate the record that would set the accusations flying. And in the midst of the chaos and confusion, I would slip cyanide into Junior's drink, thus setting off the murders.
But why do it to "Ten Little Indians", you may ask? Because Betty used to enjoy giving me nightmares over that rhyme—every night, she would taunt me over and over with those verses, giving me nightmares about the various ways I would fall victim to each verse. She had given me free will over how to have each of these villains murdered—even if it was blatantly murder, she said, Global Justice would find one means or another to cover it up. And so I chose the rhyme of the ill-fated Indian boys to reflect on how Betty has always tortured me, always.
Adrena Lynn, also, was poisoned. Before we all went to bed, I gave her a glass of water to drink, having slipped enough chloral hydrate within it to kill her. One overslept himself, indeed. It was during the night that I went to unlock the storage room, knowing that inevitably, some egotistical villain would get overconfident, test the mirror within, and have their soul broken. I figured it would be Drakken; I could tell from the look on his face where he had been, and how he had been affected. The mirror was actually the idea of none other than Will Du—during our early stages of "Operation Retribution", he had suggested we build a mirror designed to break a person's soul by making the simple mistake of slipping on the cuffs attached to the mirror. I have to admit that the idea initially repulsed me at first. Actually, it wasn't the idea itself that repulsed me so much as it was that someone who was supposedly a "hero" had come up with it. It was the closest thing to violating a person without laying a single hand on them—something which not even the Seniors would be capable of doing.
And speaking of which, I put Senior out of his misery while everyone else went off to their rooms. Taking away his son was the same as putting him through that very mirror. He saw me coming towards him with the knife, and yet he raised no protest. He simply said, "The end is near," and sat quietly while I thrust the knife through his back, another one gone.
I'm surprised no one figured out I was the double agent—I was the one who had brought up the possibility of the agent being one of us, after all. And yet no one raised attention to this. No one ever thought that I had brought it up to plant suspicion and fear into everyone's minds. Ha, looks like I am cleverer than you after all, Betty! I'll bet if you were the one to—
Ahem, where was I? Oh yes—early the next morning, I went to wake up Motor Ed. It was all too easy to lure him into the storage room, to tell him to wait where he was while I went to get something that prove to him the identity of the agent, to sneak up from behind him with a chainsaw and—well, I'd complete that sentence, but on the off chance that children may be watching this video, I won't. It didn't take me long to gather up the remaining parts and stuff them into box 666, to throw said box up on top of a nearby pile of boxes, to make a mad dash to Motor Ed's room and leave the incriminating note behind, and then dash back to own room, emerging only seconds later.
Faking my own death came with a bit more difficulty. Again, I was so blatantly obvious that no one ever even caught on: I announced I would go alone, and with no one else to go with me—therefore, who could really be there to witness my "death" and know for certain I really was dead? I set it up to make it look as though I were killed by an overly-complicated booby trap, and injected a fake needle into my neck. Of course, with everyone having arrived to the conclusion that we were all being murdered—and with Killigan not being an expert doctor—how could they have realized otherwise?
From here on in, I watched everyone's actions with a hidden camera within my room. It was like a sitcom formulated by a drunken Walt Disney—five villains in suspicion of each other yet not without the romance, as shown with Drakken and Shego. In a way, I was almost sad to activate the hidden laser that would fry Drakken to death, but it was part of our plan Betty. You hear that? Our plan; I'm sure you will go around acting like it was your plan alone but—
Right, back to the exposition: I was surprised to see Monkey Fist use the mirror on Shego. I would've thought something like that would be beneath him, but by that point they were all like animals, each waiting to prey upon the other. I did not stick around for long to see the after-effects this would have on Shego, however, for I had to go off to dispose of a certain Camille Leon. I snuck into her room, gagged her, and then bashed her over the head with the back of my hand. To complete the "red herring" rhyme, I then tossed her into the bathtub. And during all of this, I used the controls within my room to lock and unlock the doors.
Now, it was down to three villains. Who would emerge the victor? And which other two would bite the dust? I had my full money bet on Shego the entire time—pay up, Betty! Pay up!
But anyway, I took the risk of sneaking out of my room and waiting within the storage room for the three villains to come in. I waited just behind the very top of a stack of miscellaneous items, waiting patiently for Killigan to walk to just the right spot. And guess what, Betty? Unlike those times where you would rub in my face how I never could—well, anyway, the point is that I didn't miss! HA!
I realize I should've mentioned this earlier, but while slipping some cyanide into Junior's drink I slipped another ingredient into Shego's drink. It was a formula I—I, not you, Betty—came up with that would temporarily subdue her problems. Of course I was not stupid, contrary to what Betty believes; I knew Shego's powers would create a bit of a problem once everyone realized these deaths were murders. The timing for the formula was crucial, however; her powers would only be temporarily subdued. They needed to come back at the precise right time in order for her to fulfill the "frizzling" rhyme. Too early, and she, along with Killigan and Monkey Fist, would team up to escape. Too late, and Monkey Fist may have been the one to kill her first.
Fortunately, her powers arrived at just the right time and Monkey Fist went from a fighting monkey to a barbecued monkey, ha-ha! It was then that I escaped through the trap door to the roof and, through a short yet painstaking process, set up the final trap for Shego. I expected the mental and emotional strain of the past few days to get the better of her and drive her to take my own life. What I did not expect was to see her take some video equipment I accidentally left behind in the lobby and use that to videotape her explanation of all the goings-on, before then hanging herself.
It was this that gave me the idea: My entire life has been meaningless, always having to be second-best, so why not show how much better I am through my own death? After I finish taping this, I will send this video, along with Shego's video, through my laptop, which I had hidden under my very bad. And then, I shall electrocute myself using my own hand.
What Global Justice expects to find will be ten dead bodies and a mystery to which only they will know the solution.
What they will get will be my final act of rebellion—against my sister. Against Global Justice. Against…the world.
With much love,
Sheldon, aka, Dr. Gemini
A/N: Ah, I never thought it would take this long to finish, but here we are. This was written during my "ATTWN" phase, which I got over once I discovered the epicness of "When They Cry" (although, "Umineko No Naku Koro Ni" basically IS ATTWN with witches) and thus became sidetracked. I will resolve to never again take more than a year to complete a fanfic.
In any event, thank you to everyone who reviewed. This is not how I envision KP ending beyond the series' end (that would be a little…dark), and I may have my own vision, but that will not be for a while yet. For now, I will settle down, think about the fandoms that are most important to me right now, and focus on those. One day, I shall return to writing KP fanfiction. For now…see you again!