This is an answer to all those 'paranoid Jounin' stories, and then I decided that I'd have fun with it and call it 'Pranking the Jounins" Here's the first chapter.
Leafing a Mess
Iruka sighed as he leaned back in the chair behind the mission desk, watching the routine procedure occurring in front of him. It was the same as any other day, the genin would walk in and drop off the mission reports as prepared by their Jounin instructors before being dismissed to the payment room. It was so freaking boring!
Ah, at least Team 7 was showing up now, their reports were always good for a laugh. Oddly enough, Kakashi delivered the report himself, instead of letting his students do it. It was when he noticed that Sasuke was wrapped in bandages like a mummy, Naruto was edging away from a twitching Sakura, and the pink-haired girl seemed to have a hair trigger as she screamed and swung a punch at nearly anything that moved in her vision, let alone touch her. A quick glance told him enough to explain everything. "Tora?"
"Tora," Kakashi answered flatly with a nod.
"Three days paid leave for your students, and a trip to the hospital's mental health ward," Iruka stated as he stamped the approval. "Would you like to take your mission now, or after you see your students to the medics?"
"Maa... I'll take it now and walk them over," Kakashi answered casually holding out his hand. Iruka picked up an easy C-rank mission that Kakashi could complete before sunset with a couple of random ninja from the support pool.
As Team Seven walked out, Iruka couldn't help but notice a leaf that was left on the floor, probably from one of them having been in the bushes. Shrugging it off, he figured that some of the cleaning crew would be in later to pick it up, until he noticed something odd. Asuma stepped around it carefully, his eyes tracking it carefully, while his hand twitched next to his trench knives.
This raised a prankster alert in his brain, and so after taking the scroll from Ino, he waved off the chuunin who were coming in to clean. A promise of covering for them, and drinks on the next day off, Iruka had a single leaf sitting on the normally perfectly clean floor of the mission room. One that had the other clerks looking at him curiously, a look that he answered by simply putting a finger to his lips with a smile that most anyone else shudder in dread. It was the prankster smile, and he had plans.
It didn't take long for his plan to start bearing fruit as the tokubetsu jounin trickled in to submit their reports for the day. First was the ever punctual Ebisu, who quickly flashed a kai upon entering the mission room and spotting the leaf on the floor. While he gave the report to Iruka and proceeded to be debriefed, the chuunin noticed his attention constantly diverted towards the leaf on the floor.
"Very good Ebisu," Iruka stated, pausing a moment before speaking louder. "Ebisu!"
This seemed to snap the man out of his study of the leaf, turning to face Iruka fully. "Thank you Iruka, I'll go to the disbursement office then."
As the man walked past the leaf again, he 'accidentally' dropped a kunai out of his pouch, which landed point first through the leaf. Bending over, he scowled at the leaf embedded upon his kunai before depositing it in the waste bin next to the door. Once the door was closed, Iruka and the other Mission desk workers chuckled.
A moment later, lunch was delivered on the Hokage's tab. Sure, it was just Ichiraku Ramen, a fact that must never be told to Naruto or he would beg for desk duties, but it was free, and they could eat it while working. As the man was leaving after the delivery, Iruka noticed that strangely enough another leaf was on the floor. Judging by the subtle gesturing by the other two, he wasn't the only one, however he made a gesture that got them looking at him oddly. A slurp of his noodles later, he tossed two ryu into a small chalk circle inside the desk, which was quickly joined by more.
With their bets in place, the chuunins finished their lunch and stacked the bowls for recycling just as the next tokubetsu jounin arrived. A deathly chill filled the room as they noticed that it was none other than Ibiki Morino, the head of Konoha's Torture and Interrogation Force. He strode in and presented his mission report on the interrogation of a captured enemy nin, not that he personally performed it, but it was part of his job. Mostly since it kept the more... off-color... members of his division out of the public eye more.
His eyes lingered upon the leaf for a moment before stamping on it on his way to the desk. Placing the report upon the desk, he glared at Iruka, who returned it unflinchingly with a little smile on his face. The two met each other's gaze for a few minutes before Ibiki snorted and nodded towards the scroll on the desk. Iruka unrolled the scroll and gave it a quick look-over before nodding his approval and stamping it.
"Very well Ibiki, you may go," Iruka stated pleasantly as he held out the slip for the payment authorization.
The man took the slip and nodded, before giving Iruka a smirk and leaned in to growl, "Make sure you get the cleaning crew in soon. It's dangerous to leave things like that out."
"I'll be sure that they clean things up properly soon," Iruka answered before the man grunted and walked out, making sure to stomp on the leaf once more. The other clerks waited until the man was gone before reaching under the desk and handing Iruka the entire stack of cash. Just as soon as the money was safely hidden away from prying eyes, and nimble fingers of ninja with dreams of being paid, the doors opened once again to admit Anko Mitarashi.
Suddenly his fellow clerks had something else to do, on the other side of the village, abandoning him to one of the 'traitorous snake's student' a title that he felt was unjustly forced upon her by the village. It wasn't her fault that Orochimaru was a traitorous snake in the grass with an unhealthy penchant for young children and disturbing word choice. When they were gone, he smiled up at her while holding out his hand for the scroll.
As though distracted by something else, she handed over the scroll without comment. He smiled warmly as he looked it over, noting that her little drawings of the cute kitten in the margins out of blood of her enemies were getting better. Perhaps he would pick up that new manga for her as a reward for wasting less margin space with scribbles, what was it called again? Hello Sanrio? He probably had a copy in his confiscated materials from his students, he'd find out the title and get her the latest one while she was out on her next mission.
Finishing his perusal of the scroll, he stamped it and passed over the payment slip. "Very good Anko, everything is in order... would you like another mission?" he asked, already fingering a new one for her. When she didn't answer, he called out again, "Anko?"
"Sorry, think I'm a bit tired today," Anko answered with a laugh as she scratched the back of her head. "I think I'll pass on that mission..." Anko answered before turning away and picking up a snake that was slithering back to her. Kissing it on the forehead she walked out of the office, leaving Iruka holding her paystub. Mentally filing a note to make sure it was submitted, he walked out from behind the desk with the intention of filling his coffee mug before the real headaches started coming in. As he passed the leaf, he couldn't help but chuckle at the two circular holes where a snake's fangs had sunk into it.
Maybe mission room duty wasn't so bad after all?