A/N: So much for taking some time before the next story. I'm going to trial the first few chapters so I can gauge the love for an Embry/Leah/Jake story. I can end it early or draw it out a bit longer. Feedback is always appreciated :)
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My eyes were burning a bright orange behind the heavy lids. It was morning already. Resisting a return to the inviting world of sleep I forced my legs to hang off the side of the bed. I had run patrol last night, returning no more then two hours ago. I tried to be home before mom left for work each day. She had enough theories on how I spent my nights deliberately disobeying her 'grounding' orders. She had given up issuing them months ago. Every morning that I came out of my bedroom she looked relieved to see I was alive. The nights of worry had strained our relationship though and she could barely talk to me. It had always been just us as the men in her life had managed to let her down constantly. Sadly I was now no exception.
I closed my bedroom door quietly behind me but as I walked to the bathroom I made my usual point of being extra loud, allowing her to prepare herself for my presence. This was easier then seeing the emotions written on her face when on an off day I surprised her. The relief was soon followed by the familiar disappointment that I dreaded. Unfortunately I had to speak to her today so I gave her extra time to prepare. As I walked into the kitchen she had the cereal and milk out on the table as usual. Our breakfast routine was planned to allow for as little communication as possible. We barely acknowledged one another and I sat down to fill my bowl. There was genuine surprise in her eyes when I opened my mouth to speak.
"Mom" I started. My voice seemed piercing in the uncomfortable silence "I'm picking up some extra hours at work so I won't be home till late now". I hoped that the lie sounded more convincing then it did in my head.
Billy Black had organised some labour work for me through a family friend. I had finished school a year ago now and needed a job with flexible hours. Working12pm to 6pm allowed me to sleep through the morning once mom left for work. If I missed a shift I could pick it up by working a full day. It was perfect for me and the money wasn't bad either. Unfortunately this wasn't the reason I would be missing out on our dinners together. The truth was they had become unbearable. When she could stand to look at me I felt like she was on the verge of tears. I couldn't handle it anymore and had finally come up with a plan to avoid the awkward evening ritual.
"Ok" She replied, her voice now matched her disappointed face. I swallowed hard reminding myself that I was doing this for her. The nightly meal was worse then our breakfasts together and that was when I actually showed up. We ate in silence and she excused herself after only another two bites of her toast. Today would be one of the days she was early to work again.
As I cleared the table I heard the door close, confirming my last thought. I had to keep saving, I needed to move out. I had to focus on working so I could get my own place and stop hurting her. I was old enough now, school being behind me and all. It really was time to move on. Another couple of months, that's all I needed, another couple of months. The old car's engine roared outside and the sound began soften as it took off up the street.
As usual I headed back to my room with a few pieces of toast and a glass of juice in hand. As usual I opened the door a fraction to see if she was still in my bed and as usual she was. The white sheet that barely covered her lower half had exposed her toned, golden brown back. The morning was warm and combined with her body heat her skin glistened with a light coating of perspiration. I lingered, taking in the sight but as I closed the door behind me she stirred. Her body turned in my direction as she stretched her arm behind her. Her left breast was now fully visible and I felt my heart rate almost double.
"Ahh, toast Em? Can't you guys whip up some pancakes every now and again?"
"Can't you ever be grateful Leah? Just once?" She sulked now and snatched the toast from the plate I offered her as if she was offended. She wasn't, it was impossible to offend Leah. Offense was an emotion and she needed a heart to have an emotion.
I sat down next to her as she got crumbs in my bed. Not that it mattered to her, she knew I wouldn't say anything. I never said anything. I let her get away with whatever she wanted because I was an idiot. Leah had no feelings for me. I was just something to pass the time. Unfortunately my heart was against my better judgement and over the last year I had managed to fall in love with her. It was about as close to idiocy as I got and yet I couldn't help it. I often wondered what was more pathetic that I knew she didn't love me or that I thought I could change her mind. If the past year was any indication it was never going to happen. That is why I was an idiot, because I was in love with someone who didn't love me and I didn't even have denial as an excuse.
Leah was in love though. Her love was almost as pathetic as mine. She was in love with Jacob Black. The same Jacob Black that was an empty, emotionless shell. The same Jacob Black that barely spoke, that followed any order Sam barked at him and that had deliberately put himself in mortal danger more then once now. Since Bella's death, a drowning accident after falling from a cliff, Jacob had gone catatonic. He was able to function now, almost two years later but his soul had left his body. The evidence was in his dead black eyes. Two years and almost no improvement. We all knew he blamed himself and none of us liked to run with him. Sometimes the emotions were so overwhelming I'd have nightmares for days and other times he ran without a thought in his head which was equally as worrying. And yet Leah somehow managed to fall for him. I figure she has a hero complex, ready to swoop in and save Jacob restoring him to his former self. Although I would almost pay to see that. I desperately missed my best friend.
Leah had finished eating now and was rubbing her slightly dirty hands through my hair. I knew what she wanted, it was the same every morning and yet I gave it to her. I turned to meet her large soft lips as I placed my hand on the back of her neck. She began to sit up letting the rest of the sheet fall to her knees. Her body was unnaturally perfect with her flawless complexion, a gift that all of the pack shared. Although she ate almost as much as her pack brothers her physic was perfectly toned while still being curvy. She had the kind of body girls requested from their personal trainers and all she had to do was dedicate her existence to protection of the tribe. It was far from an even trade.
Leah's lips were trailing down my chest now and although I could feel the familiar tension begin to build inside of me I suddenly wanted to be anywhere but here. The short high the sex gave me was nothing compared to the bitter low afterwards and I wasn't sure I could take that today. Her hands moved inside my pants and I leapt off the bed while she stared into my eyes hungrily.
"No, Leah just... not today ok. I need to get some rest"
The rejection stung her. She wasn't used to being put in her place, especially not by me. After the morning with mom, the late night on patrol and the thought of her infatuation for Jacob I really just wanted to sleep for the next week straight. I wanted to do anything but think.
Leah got up and grabbed her dress from the floor. She stormed out of my room without putting it on and a moment later I heard the front door slam. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I let her do this to me? I need help. As I lay back down on the bed that smelled like Leah I tried to sleep, hoping I could lose a few hours of the day by being unconscious. I wasn't so lucky though and thoughts of Leah's rejected face were flashing through my mind. Surely she'd be back. She could hold a grudge and all but what we had was enough to sustain a little fight. Then again what did we have? It was pretty one sided from where I sat.
My alarm went off announcing it was 11:30am already. Great, I spent the morning pining over Leah. I was obviously a masochist. As I got up I wondered if I should still go to her house party tonight or just stay at home and saw off my arm. It would probably be less painful. But I knew I would go, I had to see her to make sure we were ok. Maybe on the way to grab Jacob I would be hit by a comet or something. Wishful thinking.
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Disclaimer: Twilight is Stephenie Meyers *sigh*