Chibi-Kari: I've been playing around with this story for weeks, not sure if I should post it. But I really like the idea of it so I just couldn't stop myself. I hope someone gets a little enjoyment out of it! And obviously I don't own because we all know Stephanie writes a million times better than I do. Also I know a little of it has been done before…but really, I couldn't care less. Enjoy!

Don't Make an Empath and a Human Shield Mad

Edward and Alice had left to go hunting about 30 minutes ago. They would be back in maybe another 30 minutes because they said local. Local to them was probably just outside of Canada. I reached my hand up through my hair trying to push it out of my face, not that I needed to do that for any particular reason, it wasn't like my hair would ever impair me. I was just uncomfortable with Bella in the same room. Granted everyone else was home and I knew I wouldn't slip up…unless she cut herself again. But I should be good otherwise. Emmett and I had gone hunting earlier that day. I was still a little disappointed that Edward went with my wife leaving his girlfriend, fiancé…whatever, in a house full of vampires. But none of these were the reasons I felt uncomfortable. No, I felt uncomfortable because I could still feel it. Feel the pain that Edward had left her with. Sure she was no longer in pain; pain actually isn't even a good word for it…agony. Agony like that leaves a shadow. I could still feel it, all because I had charged at her on her birthday. I would make it up to her one day, one day when she was my sister and I wasn't tempted to bite her when I was within a ten feet radius.

I sighed deeply as I heard Rosalie spout out another comment towards Bella. The jealousy rolling off Rosalie just about made me want to smack the girl. I mean seriously, humanity sucks…not that I remember it too well, and Alice and the Cullens are really the only fond memories of my vampire life. But really, Rosalie was getting ridiculous. Her spouts of jealousy, vanity, anger, and lust, God the lust towards Emmett about kills me, were starting to piss me off. That girl needs to get her emotions under control. She was worse than a high school girl PMSing. I felt Bella's anger spike as she started to stomp from the family room towards the kitchen where I was. I could hear Esme trying to calm the situation down. Normally I would help with this but really right now all I wanted was Alice.

I could hear Bella continue to the door before stopping and looking at me. She stood there for what must have been considered normal for a human before humor and mischief spiked in her emotions. I heard her walk quickly towards the pad of paper and pencil that Emmett had left on the table, before she came right up to the counter and scooted her chair right next to me. I glanced over quickly, caught off guard and a little frightened to be in this close of a proximity to her. I mean I didn't think I'd kill her, but you never know. Edward would kill me if she died. Literally, Edward's wrath would be worse than the southern wars. She just met my eyes and smiled a big smile before writing on the paper in front of her and angling it so I could read it.

Can you feel Edward and Alice approaching yet?

I started to open my mouth to answer her, but instead she pulled out a pen and handed it to me shaking her head.


So that means Edward can't hear your thoughts, right?

Yeah, I guess. I'd hear him before he got that close. Why? I was starting to get curious to what she wanted now.

Well don't think about this just in case. Now that one really caught my attention.

What is this?

Rosalie seriously pisses me off. I mean I've done nothing to her and she acts like a bitch to me. I know it is all difficult for her and such, but really…this is excessive.

I sighed. Yeah, she's been getting really out of control lately. I've been getting annoyed with her.


"Huh?" I let out accidentally. Her eyes widened glancing towards the door and then back to me glaring.

Sorry. Why is that perfect?

I was just thinking you could give me a little help. See I want to get back at Rosalie just a little bit. Maybe knock her down a peg or two.

She'd kill you. And that's impossible; Edward and Alice would stop you…or blow the cover.

No they wouldn't. Now she lost me. How could you keep a clairvoyant and a mind reader out of the loop? I have a plan. Alice can only see if we decide to do this. Edward can't read my mind and you can block him, right?

Yes…but I could slip.

I don't think you will.

That confidence in me was the last thing to sway me over. I would at least listen to her. And listen I did. It was perfect, if I decided to help that is. Bella grabbed the note and walked over to the stove with some eggs and a skillet in hand. She lit the flame and put the note in it before quickly covering it with the skillet and breaking open an egg. That was perfect strategy. Cover the smell of burning paper with the smell of the eggs. She could easily say it was something else that got caught in the burner. It was genius. As soon as the egg hit he skillet Esme was standing next to me.

"Oh Bella! I forgot how often you needed to eat. I could have made something for you or ordered in!" She rang her hands as she glanced around the kitchen at a loss for what to do.

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind cooking myself a little something to eat. It's best not to let someone get too spoiled you know." Her eyes met mine briefly and I had to fight from smiling at the two sided comment. Man Edward picked a good one. When she was turned we would get along well. I could just see it now.

I froze slightly as I felt Alice and Edward start to come closer. I let my mind wander to seeing my beautiful Alice again, it was a great distraction. As long as Edward didn't read it on my mind it would be perfect. And as long as we didn't have any set decisions in mind Alice would never see it coming and she didn't tend to look into Rosalie's future. Really, like I said before…genius.

It was five days later when the plan finally came into action. Bella was over at the house once again. I could hear her from the bathroom as I finished wiping my hair on a towel. Carlise was telling her one of his stories. She seemed to really love them and Edward loved to watch her enjoy things. I'll I could feel was happiness rolling from the living room, except for the irritation Rosalie was sending my way because she had wanted to shower but I was taking too long. Rosalie was the only one, vampire or human, that thought a shower over a minute was too long. That's what caused me to do it. I was sick of her pacing; it was starting to drive me crazy. But like Bella's plan, it could go either way. It was all up to Rosalie now.

I smiled brightly as I pushed past her and ran down to join the family around Carlile. Alice smiled brightly back at me as I wrapped an arm around her. I glanced up at Bella and smiled. She caught on quickly and beamed at me. It was then that we all heard it. The scream was bloodcurdling. Emmett almost jumped up to rush and see what happened to Rosalie, but she was already standing there.

Bella glanced up and smiled at Rosalie, "Wow, Rosalie. I don't think blue hair is a good look for you." She and I broke down in laughter as we high-fived. After the initial shock died down the rest joined us. Emmett laughed the hardest before Rosalie glared at him, but it started back up in a second.

"Oh come on, Rose. It's good! You have to admit it's a good one!" He gaffed as he looked at his wife.

Rosalie stomped off glancing over her shoulder at us. "Shut up, Emmett."

I just laughed harder.

"Wha-how? When? I didn't…" Alice seemed at a loss as the laughter died down. She glanced at Edward, "Did you know about this?"

Edward just shook his head glancing around at all of us, "No. I had no idea. Who?"

Bella and I beamed at each other. She leaned forward and smiled towards me as I smiled back, "We make a good team."

It was that moment I realized we could get anyone in this house. It just shows you shouldn't piss of an empath and a human that can't be read…results are not predictable.

Chibi-Kari: Please review and give me some input. I know the writing was a bit awkward. It's been a few months since I've written anything…major writers block! Thanks for reading!