Title: "The Sensual Cellular Similarity" (1/?)
Author: Misty / DesertDragon
Spoilers: none. post-all aired episodes.
Rating: PG-13 for now / Humor, Fluff, UST
Word count: 1016
Disclaimer: I do not own, no infringement intended.
A/N: Normally I would know exactly how many chapters ahead of time, but I don't yet. Suggestions welcome.
Summary: A sexy, accidental text becomes the cause of some unaccountable behavior.

*Chapter One: Confusion*

Penny could not explain the origins of her attraction to Sean, the young man sitting across from her. She gazed across the table at him as he studied the Kaya Restaurant Sushi menu. They had met at a friend's wedding back in January and began dating casually. But he wasn't her usual type of guy.

He was tall and slim. Dark hair. Deep-set eyes. Unremarkable features. He designed software for a company in Pasadena, so he was fairly bright. She supposed that it was nice to have the interest of someone smart without having to prove herself(i.e. Leonard.) He had a relaxed smile and they were more than compatible in the bedroom, which surprised her because outside the intimate times he seemed oddly distant in demeanor. And they didn't have many interests in common. He was just …

… ordinary. She reasoned that he would have never fallen onto her radar if she hadn't been one Cuba Libre past tipsy at that wedding reception. Or so she told herself.

What else could it be?? She chewed gently on her lower lip and continued to ponder the mystery further as she watched him. It made her head ache. It was like having someone shouting at you from behind a heavy pane of glass and not being able to hear them.

As Sheldon would say, it was a conundrum.


That date was three days ago. With a well-earned day off from the Cheesecake Factory, she had free time to stop and realize that she had not heard a peep from Sean. Hmmm. Odd. The end of the evening had gone well to her recollection. She had given up trying to solve the mysteries of the universe; they had a nice romp in the hay, then a brief kiss goodnight before he was out her front door.

She decided to send a text his way and put her feelers out. In fact, she was feeling slightly frisky and brave and thought that a snapshot with a bit of teasing nudity couldn't hurt. After all, it was one thing for a dipshit, married man to take naked photos of you with his phone, and quite another to do it yourself. In fact, it was somewhat empowering. She smirked as she stripped down and tried to maneuver herself into a suggestive position. Poor, Sean. He might blow a few brain circuits over this.

She finally managed to take a decent one, a little dirty, but acceptable. Nothing he hadn't already seen. She added a little note: "Until your arms are around me again, wrap those high IQ points around this ;)", and hit send.


Sheldon found the impromptu meeting with Gablehauser and a number of his colleagues tedious beyond description. It was wreaking havoc on his carefully planned work day schedule. All it consisted of was his superior droning on and on about a conference which was to take place in March. He so desired for them all to leave him in peace so that he could to return to his office and more important academia.

Suddenly the theme from Star Trek interrupted Gablehauser's monotonous tone. They all turned to stare at Sheldon.

"Dr. Cooper..."

Sheldon mumbled a curt apology and silenced his cell phone without a glance at it.

A minute later the annoying little device continued to vibrate in his pants pocket, begging for him to answer the ignored text.

Unnoticed by the others in the room, he reached in and drew it out. The tiny screen read: PENNY. Dammit, Penny. What fresh hell was this...

He had no idea what on Earth had prompted him to open it.


His distressed squeak quieted the room once again.

"Is there something wrong, Dr. Cooper?" asked a disgruntled Dr. Gablehauser.

After an anxious and flustered, "Excuse me," Sheldon found himself stumbling out into a thankfully-vacant hallway, his large brain filling with perplexity and pressure.

He had barely glanced at the racy photo before his panic attack. He needed to find a safe spot to examine the evidence more thoroughly and formulate inconclusively what the hell all this was about.

He opened a door. Nope, custodial closet. He kept going, disoriented. Ah here it was; the safety of his office. He locked the door and shut the blinds. A deep breath followed.

This was absurd. He did not see what he thought he saw. He managed to talk himself down enough so that the facial ticks dissipated. He flipped open his phone.

His jaw began to twitch uncontrollably.

Yep. It was a naked photo of Penny. Seemingly self-taken by the absurd angle. It possessed that grainy picture-by-phone quality. But every miniscule detail was crystal clear to Sheldon.

The dilated eyes, the moist lips, and graceful fingers that cupped a very naked, very ample breast, the arch of her back, the tilt of her pelvis, the curve of her inner...

Sheldon's mouth went dry. But that wasn't the most revealing point in his evaluation. It was the words that followed.

//Until your arms are around me again, wrap those high IQ points around this ;) //

As he read those words for the first time, numbness and confusion set in. Then, after an eternity, he came to (what he rationalized as) a valid hypothesis.

This text could not be mistaken. It was meant for him. Evidence: the lengthy hug at Christmas; his substantial Intelligence Quotient. He had obviously made quite an impression in order for her to harbor such a brazen attraction to him.

He pushed the phone far away from him on his desk and crunched himself into his chair, attempting not to look at it. He couldn't get comfortable. His legs were operating apart from his central nervous system, crossing and uncrossing. His hands were nervous and clammy at his brow.

He tried staring at his white board for a bit of intellectual relief.

However, this did absolutely nothing to calm his equilibrium. He had no idea on how to proceed. What was the social protocol for when he saw her again?

to be continued