Author's note: Don't own Twilight blah blah blah. I also don't own Star Trek or the various commercials. Duh. I wasn't alive when they were made. This will make sense in a second. I would also like to take this opportunity to mention I will be starting a new story immediately after this. I think I'll call it Sickness or something like that. This is the last chapter so enjoy! People's thoughts are in bold.
I will make them suffer. They don't know who they're dealing with. I'll just run home and grab the tapes my dad recorded in the eighties. This will be perfect. –Jake What is he talking about? Tapes? Like VHS tapes? Do we even have a VCR anymore? Jacob left the house and started running towards the reservation. His thoughts were concentrated on the tapes but I still had no idea what was on them.
He returned 22.6 minutes later. I was counting so what? He was carrying several VHS tapes. "I dare all of you to watch all of these tapes right now." He said.
"And what are on said tapes?" I asked.
"Star Trek. You will have to sit through eight hours of Kirk and his toupees. And even worse than that, you will also have to watch the cheesy eighties commercials. Also, you have to watch them at normal speed. You can't just watch them on fast forward. There also has to be sound. NO muting."
Darn it! He thought of all my loopholes. I shuddered I remembered cheesy eighties commercials. I REALLY didn't want to relive that. He found the VCR (What do you know, we do have one.) and popped in the first tape. "Have fun!" he yelled as he ran away.
Kirk's voice came through the speakers. Words in the upper left hand corner of the screen identified the episode as Miri. I remember this one. Kirk basically molested a teenaged girl who had a crush on him. We stayed with the Enterprise for five minutes before it cut to commercials.
The first one was for Juicy Fruit. You could tell these weren't made recently because they couldn't get away with saying half of this now. Ahem, and I quote, "The taste is gonna move ya. Take a sniff, pull it out. The taste is gonna move ya when you pop it your mouth." Seriously think of all the horrible ways that could be taken; Emmett is.
Next was a commercial about "brand new cars." An '87 Chevy Cavalier or an '87 Chevy Nova. Yeah, real new. Then, there was a commercial for Supercuts. EVERYONE had bad hair in the eighties, even Carlisle, so why bother? The funniest by far was the Long John Silver's commercial. "Shrimp, French fries, hush puppies. The whole deal. We're gonna put a hoedown in your mouth with some real wholesome catfish. So the next time you want a genuine catfish dish try the folks who know fish." Really, a hoedown in your mouth. Sounds great, really appetizing. Lastly, we were graced with knowing about the "new Atari 2600" with "new and improved graphics" that looked like really big squares.
We had to watch For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky, Wolf in the Fold, Spectre of the Gun, Amok Time, Mudd's Women, The Trouble with Tribbles, and The Naked Time. The seriously freaky part was Bella was enjoying it. And reciting various lines along with the characters. Of course, I knew all the words too but, I have the excuse of perfect recall. I seriously wouldn't have guessed that Bella was a … I can't say it. It's too horrible. A, a…TREKKIE!
We were all staring at Bella by the end. She gave me a sheepish grin and ran upstairs. "Alice," I said, "Let's never play truth or dare again. That was too disturbing."
"Agreed," said everyone at once.
Then Esme spoke up, "Can I go wash my mouth out now, it still tastes like turtle."
A/N: ISN'T STAR TREK AWESOME! Thank you SO MUCH for actually reading all the way through this. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. Sorina says hi. Or bye. Now, to Sickness! Or whatever I'm gonna call it.