A/N: So I finally decided to write a "Producers" fanfic, after urging from PhantomBialystock and Vampira of Stalking. It's only a simple one-shot, but here's hoping it adds a bit more cheer to the unfortunately small fandom on here.
Disclaimer: Mel Brooks owns this.
Leo Bloom was unhappy.
This made no sense to him. He was living the good life – he had finally gotten free of his droll career at the accounting firm in favor of an exciting job as a producer, he had money to spend, great friends, and a beautiful wife.
But he still felt incomplete. What could be missing? He ticked off his assets on his fingers again: exciting job, money, friends…wife.
Speaking of which…
Ulla Inga Hansen-Bensen-Yanson-Tallen-Hallen-Svaden-Swanson Bloom scurried into the room, giggling. Leo took a deep breath and smiled up at the Swedish woman, forcing himself not to wince at her revealing dress and bubbly demeanor.
She squealed and grabbed him by the collar, pushing herself on top of him.
Leo abruptly stood, prompting Ulla to slide off his lap onto the floor.
"I'm going to the office."
"Sveetie!" she said reproachfully, bouncing back onto her feet. "It's Saturday!"
"I know. Max'll be there." Max was always there. Leo admired his partner for his dedication to his profession – or at least to his money – but sometimes he thought the man was just lonely. Working kept him company.
"Vhat time you come home?" Ulla inquired, pouting.
Leo slipped into his coat, plucking his hat off its peg near the door.
"Later." He hesitated, and then shook his head and plunged out the door, shutting it behind him. "Much later."
Max Bialystock sat alone in the office, staring thoughtfully down at the framed photo in his hands. The photo was of the production team just after the success of Prisoners of Love. Roger and Carmen stood in the back row, wide grins stretching their faces and their arms around each other shamelessly. Franz stood to one side of them, a pigeon on his shoulder – he had refused to be photographed without it, even though when the flash went off it excreted on him. Ulla was on the opposite side, her arms around Leo's neck and a flirty grin revealing all her teeth. The focus, however, was on Max and Leo, centered in the middle and the only two seated.
Leo looked especially handsome that day. That wonderful face of his...
Swallowing, Max set the photo upright on his desk. He didn't understand his recent feelings toward his business partner. Leo was handsome – "cute" by Roger and Carmen's standards – and he had certainly grown on Max. He was endearing. But Max liked women. He had never liked a man before.
The office door opened suddenly, and Max jumped and snatched the picture off the desk, stuffing it into a drawer.
"Max?" Leo walked slowly into the room, smiling timidly.
"Hey," Max replied nonchalantly, pretending to be studying papers on his and Leo's latest show venture, Maim. He looked up and immediately wished he hadn't.
It was raining outside, and Leo's hair was plastered to his head. For some reason, the wet made him look even better than usual.
"Whatcha working on?" Leo asked, disappearing into the coatroom and reappearing a moment later without his coat and hat.
"What are you doing here on a Saturday?" Max replied, genuinely curious. He glanced at his watch. Yep. 11:21. What is Leo doing out when he should be with Ulla?
Leo shrugged. "Just…needed to get out. You know."
Of course, Max didn't.
Leo blushed and looked away from his partner's stare.
"I'm working on Maim," Max declared unexpectedly.
Leo's head snapped up. "Huh?"
Max's eyes had returned to his work. "You asked what I was working on. I'm telling you."
"Oh." Leo stood and shuffled over, leaning over the desk. "Mind if I take a look?"
"Not at all."
As Max pushed the papers over, his fingers brushed Leo's. Leo pulled back quickly, trying to ignore the thrill like an electric shock that had just pulsed through his veins.
"Sorry," Max mumbled. He was staring at the desk.
Leo frowned in consternation. His partner's behavior was far from normal. It was actually kind of…attractive. His heart thudding in his chest, he rounded the desk.
"Are you okay?"
Max stood. "I'm…fine. You?"
"…fine." Leo was looking everywhere but at the other man.
Leo looked straight at Max. His friend was close – uncomfortably close, his face only inches away...but somehow it wasn't uncomfortable.
"Yes?" he breathed.
Max took a step closer and pressed his lips to Leo's.
Leo tensed and relaxed in the same second, letting himself melt into the embrace. He wrapped his arms around Max, returning the kiss.
After a moment, both men stepped back simultaneously.
"Better than the lady from Sveden?" Max asked, accurately mimicking Ulla's Swedish accent.
Leo grinned. "Much better."
A/N: I'm awful at ending fanfics. :( Oh, well...let me know what you thought!