Ok so I saw One Missed Call today and I was like "oh it'd be so funny if that little demon girl tried to kill the Cullens" so here you go! Takes place between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn but Jacob didn't run away or anything retarded like that.
Oh BTW, "DEMONS EXIST IN THIS JUST LIKE DA MOVIE"
Dun nu nu nu –click click- click click- dun nu nu nu…
Dude this movie was supposed to be scary? I mean the psychotic little girl shoves a knife in her sister's arm and then the Mom leaves her in the room where she magically starts having an asthma attack? That was the "big secret" throughout the movie?
I looked around to see all the humans trembling and holding onto each other as the chick started randomly walking while the phone dialed at the end. I checked my phone and smiled.
This was why Alice downloaded that new ringtone!
I turned it up to full volume and the death tune started filling the silent theatre. I swear, all the humans screamed and turned to me with wide eyes.
"D-dude, your gonna die!"
"OMG DOES IT SAY "ONE MISSED CALL"?"
"When does it say you die?"
"I'm getting out of here!"
The humans started screaming and fleeing theatre leaving me alone, laughing my ass off.
When I got home, I was met by Alice at the front door.
"Emmett whatever you do, DO NOT answer your phone in a few seconds-"
Dun nu nu nu –click click- click click-
Alice sighed angrily, shook her head, and walked away.
"Helloooo?" Anyone home?" I checked the screen and it read.
One Missed Call: Sunday 8:30 p.m.
"Psh no demon can catch me! Because I am!" I jumped onto the hood of my jeep. "EMMETT MCARTY CULLEN!"
I heard Rosie come up next to the car; she sighed. "Emmett get down…"
"Why Rosie? I'm standing up to demons?"
"You can do that after we watch a movie with Bella."
"Aw she's still human?"
"We'll have to wait until the wedding."
"Now come on." She dragged me by my ear into the house.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!" When we got in we saw Bella and Edward sitting –intertwined in blankets- together cozily, while Jasper was sitting in a chair with Alice at his feet –still shaking her head angrily-. With Carlisle sitting on the arm of the chair and Esme sitting in a dining chair. I took my seat on the coach and Rosalie sat next to me instead of on my lap like usual.
"Aw come on babe-"
"No." I sighed and looked at the movie we were watching.
"I just saw One Missed Call at the movies, how come it's on DVD already?" They all looked at me funny.
"Well," Alice started. "Edward," She glared at him. "Heard Bella say she wasn't in the mood to go out so he," She glared again. "Went somewhere and bought it on DVD "early"." Bella blushed when she mentioned her not wanting to go out and Edward just rolled his eyes.
"Fine let's start." I clicked play and the movie I'd just seen started playing.
Bella shrieked and jumped at every little thing while we all tried not to look at her like she was a retard.
When the part came where the girl was in that vent thingy and she saw the corpse of the Mom, Bella was waiting in anticipation as she took the cell phone out of the dead lady's hands. I knew what happened next.
"The corpse crawls after her." I stated, Bella whipped her head to me and stared at me with wide eyes.
"WHY'D YOU TELL ME-" then the corpse started to move and Bella shrieked, then proceeding to hide herself in Edward's shirt. She screamed into his chest and he soothed her quietly. Wow she was scared wasn't she?
Then a beautiful idea hatched in my mind.
I blocked my thoughts by mentally singing "Best of Both Worlds" by that girl named after a state and has multiple personality disorder. I heard Edward groan as the lyrics filled my head.
At the end of the movie I motioned to Alice –who had already seen this would happen but blocked her mind- and she swiftly hid her phone and dialed my number.
Dun nu nu –click click- click click- Dun nu nu
Bella screamed and turned to me with her face pale white.
"E-Emmett?" She asked.
"Yeah?" I asked coolly.
"Y-your ringtone-" Edward put his hand on her shoulder.
"Don't worry love; Emmett is just being an idiot." I smiled back at them as they left the room.
I sighed and went to play Nintendo.
"YEAH! WOO HOO! TOUCHDOWN!" the Steelers just scored a touchdown and the guy was doing a funny dance. I guess he broke some kind of record or something.
"WOW! AT 8:29 P.M. THIS SUNDAY! –Insert name of Steelers player here- BROKE A WORLD RECORD!" The announcer blared. 8:29?
Oh yeah… my phone told me I'd die in less than a minute! How cool I remembered! Oh wait, I'm a vampire, of course I remember. Wow something tells me I should run but- Oh the game is back on!
I watched as the Steelers went in for another touchdown when I felt a presence behind me.
"SSSHHH! I'm trying to watch the game here!" I turned and saw that crazy little girl from the movie- wow I really should be freaked out shouldn't I?
"You. Die…" She growled. I checked my phone.
"So you sent me that message?" She nodded and tried to kill me by smashing a vase to my face- hey that rhymed!
"Girl, you do realize you just wasted my minutes on my phone right?" Rosalie only let me have 400 minutes! The girl hesitated.
"You know what? No, that is NOT cool! I mean use up a guys' minutes just for killing me? I mean kill me but don't use my minutes! What's' your problem?!" I screamed, she shrunk back and tried to kill me again by squeezing my neck.
"Get out of here! You're not welcome in this house! YOU USED UP MY MINUTES!" I made a grab for her but she was gone.
I sat back on the couch and watched the game.
I noticed my phone dialing Rosalie's cell number.
OOOOOH no, I will NOT let Rosalie be mad at me for getting a death call from my phone. I took the phone and erased the digits and typed in Edward's number letting the demon go to his phone.
I closed the lid and laid back, imagining what would happen when he got the call.
I was lying in Bella's bed watching her sleep, thinking about the wedding.
Sigh. Bella would be so radiant in a wedding dress…
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- dun nu nu nu
Ah, the stupid ringtone from the movie. I saw Bella stir at the sound. I opened the phone to see it stop and read-
One Missed Call Tuesday 1:15 p.m.
During school? This should be interesting.
"Bella what's' wrong?" I asked her as we sat at our table in biology.
"W-well I had dream last night that you got the one missed call and that you're supposed to die at 1:15 today." I checked my watch, 1:13 p.m.
"It was only a dream sweetie." I kissed her forehead and we listened to the teacher trying to impose his very little encyclopedia of knowledge he had on us.
I looked at Bella – as I usually did- and saw centipedes crawl in and out of her hand. It scared me but only a bit because I couldn't smell their scent. She looked back at me and smiled, I looked down and they were gone. I sighed.
I put my hands behind my head and stared at the clock as the little hand slowly moved past the twelve.
Out of nowhere the window blew in. All of the humans gasped and turned to the broken window, they stared in awe.
"How'd that happen?" Mr. Banner asked.
"The window just exploded!" Lauren.
"Oh dear…" Angela.
"WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!" Mike screamed.
"Shut up Mike…" Eric scolded.
I looked around and saw blue aura –invisible to humans- surrounding our table.
I felt our table shake and I grabbed it from underneath and held it steady with my vampire strength. It was actually pretty powerful; I fought to keep it looking inconspicuous. I grunted in frustration and Bella looked at me while everyone's attention was focused on the smashed window.
"Nothing." I grunted. I heard this hissing sound that –in the movie- was actually an inhaler. I looked around to see the girl in a hoodie from the movie glaring at me.
Ugh, darn it! I kept the table level as she moved over to Bella; I immediately let go of the table to protect Bella which resulted in the whole thing flipping over and flying across the room. Which brought a little unwanted attention to us.
They all stared openly at Bella and I while I watched the little demon girl try to kill me with various things. Posters on the wall fell and different things off Mr. Banner's desk flew at she and I. I brought Bella to the ground and we ducked away from the flying things.
"IT'S A GHOST!"
"IT'S ATTACKING EDWARD AND BELLA!"
"Probably because she wouldn't date me…" Mike brewed.
"Shut up Mike…" Eric scolded again.
"Guys, there is a perfectly logical explanation…" Mr. Banner started to lecture the class but on the board the demon girl wrote "boo". And all the humans –except Bella- ran out screaming.
I sighed, taking out my phone and dialing Rosalie's number, giving it to the girl.
"Knock yourself out." I told her. She smiled evilly and started calling.
I lead a very shocked and traumatized Bella out of the classroom and into the cafeteria where everyone else was having their emotional breakdowns.
I'm so pretty…. I'm so smart… I'm so humble….
I chanted to myself while fawning over my beautiful self in my mirror.
Sigh. It's so sad that no one else can enjoy my beauty like I do. I kiss the mirror and got lost in the beauty of my lips.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- Dun nu nu nu
That's not "Fabulous" from High School Musical 2… that's supposedly my ringtone.
I checked the caller ID.
What did that human lover want? I flipped open the phone.
"What do you want Edward?" No answer.
"Edward? Come on you retard say something." No answer.
"You know what? Fine. If you want to be like that then I'll just hang up." I took the phone away from my ear and looked at the screen.
One Missed Call Thursday 6:43 p.m.
Um… Thursday? Oh yeah that movie! Haha very hilarious. OK I guess it wouldn't hurt to play along with this whole "I'm going to die from some weird series of coincidences" thing.
"Oh help I'm going to die on Thursday!" I acted. Whatever.
I'm so sexy… sigh, the world is so lucky to be able to bask in my glory all day. The humans don't know good they've got it.
"ROSIE?" I heard Emmett call from downstairs.
"WHAT TIME IS IT?" I checked my diamond watch- which wasn't as pretty as me-.
"UH-OH, YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"
"YEAH!" I shouted back playfully. I continued to stare at myself in the mirror. I heard the clock strike 6:43 a couple minutes later and I felt as if I wasn't alone.
I was still staring into the mirror when I saw the sister from the movie in the reflection.
"Uh, can I help you? I'm kind of busy." She growled and the mirror smashed into a million pieces; I watched in horror as all the little pieces bounced off the wall and onto the floor. I stared down even after the pieces seized movement.
I glared at the broken mirror and growled.
I heard the demon start to retreat but I spun around and ran in front of it.
"ROSE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Emmett asked through the open door. I looked back around the room to see that –besides the broken mirror- everything was back to normal.
"Nothing Emmett. Don't you think I'm hot?" I asked him.
"Good, just checking." I took out my phone and dialed Alice's number and I felt the demon's presence over take it. I smiled; Alice had her future telling gift, we were never able to pull pranks on her because they were pre-meditated. But I'd found a loophole; I smiled imagining how it would go.
"What do you mean closing?" I argued with the man at the "Coach" store in the mall.
"I mean we're closing." The rude man slammed the "closed sign on the counter and sauntered off in his pink clothes out of the store and to his yellow bug. Ew, I liked yellow but a yellow "bug"? This man should NOT be working at Coach…
I walked out into the parking lot and my phone started ringing.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- Dun nu nu nu
Did I download the ringtone to the movie on my phone too? I thought I just did Emmett's…
I flipped open the screen and read what it said.
One Missed Call Saturday 2:35 a.m.
Ok I get the whole "my time of death is on a Saturday" thing but why at 2:35? Sigh. I guess I won't be able to go shopping across the globe to where it's daytime on Saturday.
No… That's not Bella's color… Oh that one is perfect- no it's not right for her figure…
I searched through my closet for something to have Bella wear for Edward, that sounded sort of wrong.
I was digging through a pile of spaghetti strap dresses when I had a vision
A little girl –the one from One Missed Call- walked into the room and –with her mind- flung all my clothes at me in an attempt to smother me.
Ha! Let's let her just try it!
I heard the girl behind me and I expected, all my clothes were on top of me. I sighed as I stood up in the mountain of fabrics. I stared at the dead girl and realized what she was wearing! A horrifyingly hideous black hoodie with ugly black pants! Ugh gross!
She leapt at me but I stopped her.
"Hey before you try to kill me I have to say something- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? I Mean I know you're kinda young but you're not blind! Do you even look at yourself in the mirror before you go out on these killing sprees? Think of your victims! Wouldn't you rather them see you in designer kid clothes rather than ugly Wal-Mart clothes? You're dead –like me- We've got to stick together!" I linked arms with her and dragged her into my vast closet.
3 HOURS LATER
"AAAHHHH NO MORE PLEASE! AAH!" My little Barbie doll ran out of the closet screaming for mercy.
"WAIT! BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED TYING YOUR BOW!"
"NOOOOOO!" She then disappeared into my cell phone.
I picked it up and dialed a number.
"Fine, BE that way, let's just see how Jasper deals with you." I flipped the phone shut and started digging through my clothes again.
Now, what can Bella wear?…
Ugh, so many emotions.
I walked through Carlisle's hospital; the nurse at the front desk told me he was helping a woman give birth. Gross, how could he stand that?
As I passed through this particular wing of the hospital I always got tense. For two reasons 1) I don't even go to the hospital so much because off the blood 2) These pregnant lady's emotions always grated on my nerves.
I strode into Carlisle's office and waited for him to arrive; I sat and stared at all of his medical degrees just to pass the time.
I heard the door open and click shut.
"Why hello Jasper, what brings you here?"
"Alice wanted me to ask you – no beg you- to let her go on a major international shopping spree."
"You could have just called."
"I know but she said "it would have more impact if I took the time to ask you in person"." I used air quotes.
"Well tell her alright- but no buying any small world countries like last time!"
"Ok Carlisle, I'll tell her." I got up and left the office.
As I walked I passed by the nursery of sleeping babies; all of a sudden my phone started ringing at full volume.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- click click- Dun nu nu nu
"WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH!" All the babies woke and started bawling like crazy. I groaned and looked at the screen.
One Missed Call Tuesday 12:00 p.m.
Ok, I bet this is a prank but whatever I won't worry about it. Even IF demons exist, it's not like it can kill me.
I caught the scent of an Elk; I took off northeast and charged toward the river where it was drinking. I broke through the trees and leapt on its back and crushed it's spine. I dragged it to the ground and drank his blood; when I stood up I was still thirsty.
I checked my watch, it read noon.
Time for death! I thought humorlessly.
I got into my hunters' state of mind and started hunting.
I caught the scent of… death and human sort of…
It was uncontrollable; I took off in that direction and charged at whatever unlucky human was in the forest while I hunted.
I got through the ferns and saw the corpse of the child from that weird, messed up Edward made us watch the other day. She was watching me with a freaked out look.
"I'm supposed the one to do the killing!" She screeched.
"Not today." I leapt at her; she was fast enough that I narrowly missed her.
"WHOA? You're my victim?!" She screamed. I then realized what she was wearing; she was wearing things from various designers.
"Alice?" I asked.
"Yeah." She replied.
"Well anyway." I answered leaping at her with my teeth bared.
"I'm getting out of here!" She yelled but I sent a wave of happiness towards her, she stopped and smiled.
"I feel… happy…" She sighed. "Isn't death just glorious?" She laughed and fell into the wildflowers and started making grass angels. She was giggling like a little child was supposed to.
"I guess I'll kill you know."
"m'kay." She giggled.
"Ok I guess I won't." I took out my cell phone and dialed Carlisle's number; he'd know what to do with her.
"What no!" She yelled as she got sucked into the phone and it started dialing.
I was at the hospital when I got the call.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- Dun nu nu nu
I checked the ID- Jasper.
I opened the phone and saw on the screen,
One Missed Call Thursday 4:01 p.m.
I had a bad feeling about this; I heard the kids were getting calls like this all week. I clicked the phone shut and turned back to my paperwork.
"AH! GET IT OUT!" The woman shouted.
"Ma'am you have to push."
"I CAN'T IT HURTS!"
I was about to tell her again but I was caught off guard when the clock struck 4:01 p.m. Oh no, please, please, PLEASE, don't let this happen now!
I heard the baby's heart rate take off like helicopters' blades.
"Maureen get the baby's heart rate down!" I shouted at the nurse.
"Yes Dr. Cullen." She answered and started fiddling over the woman looking for the cause.
I saw an eyeless man in the room- he smiled evilly at me before disappearing. I was still stunned when the nurse caught my attention.
"DR. CULLEN WE NEED YOUR HELP! WE NEED AN EXTRA PAIR OF HANDS!" I went over to her and found the problem. I told her to pull the skin back so I could cut the umbilical cord. It was choking the baby and that caused the heart rate to go up.
I felt the machines creep toward me and some crashed into me at random, trying to kill me. The blows were so hard they would have killed any human.
Ugh, this was not my day.
I remembered how the girl died in the movie.
I pulled out a spare inhaler from my coat pocket and threw it at the figure.
"THERE NOW LEAVE!" I screamed. The nurse couldn't see her so it basically looked like I was yelling at nothing.
"Dr. Cullen are you alright?"
"Yeah just tend to the patient Maureen."
In the end we saved the patient and ended up with a healthy baby boy.
After I had left her with the baby I was vaguely aware of my phone doing something, but I got another call from the emergency room so I didn't have time to check it.
But something told me I should have.
I love life, I love everything because I'm so carefree…
I started to sing to a bird on the windowsill when I heard my phone go off, but the ringtone wasn't mine.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- Dun nu nu nu
Why how would be so kind as to call me? I looked at the screen and it said: Carlie Cakes.
Yes I called Carlisle "Carlie Cakes", I flipped open the phone and it read.
One Missed Call Saturday 2:30 p.m.
Aw how nice, someone took the time to entertain me, whoever did this is really sweet; oh yeah- Carlisle did it. I giggled and put my phone away.
I took out the cookies I'd made for Bella and set them on the counter to cool off.
In checked the time and the clock said: 2:30 p.m. I remembered I was supposed to die today and giggled.
It was so exciting! I waited for something to happen.
A small figure started coming in the kitchen- the evil sister from the movie-, she looked so sad, and dead.
"Hi, would you like some cookies?"
"I kill you."
"Why, come on baby tell me what's wrong."
"My mommy betrayed me and I hate my sister, my mommy wouldn't help me so I died, you saw the movie you know what happened." She finished the last sentence as if it was a matter of fact.
"Aw poor baby-do you want a cookie?"
"So everyone can use a nice cookie once in a while."
She glowered at the pan for a second then hungrily snatched the biggest, most chocolaty, cookie from the bunch.
"Thanks," She muttered. "Hey, you're alright, I won't kill you. Well bye." She grabbed another cookie and then vanished into my phone and it started dialing Bella's number. I just guessed it was because she wanted to give her that cookie.
"Hm, I love you Edward."
"As I love you, Bella."
"We're getting married in a couple of weeks."
"Yes love, I'm aware."
"Oh yeah, because you're a vampire and you're smart like that."
"Aw Bella you flatter me too much."
"Nu-uh-" I was going to get into a love argument with him when my phone went off.
Dun nu nu nu –click click- -click click- Dun nu nu nu
"Bella, love whatever you do, do NOT answer that-"
"Hello?" I answered, Edward sighed in frustration. I took the phone away from my ear and watched the screen.
One Missed Call Tuesday 9:46 a.m.
"You will not leave my sight until it's past "Tuesday at 9:46 a.m."." Edward ordered.
"But… I was kinda wanting to go cliff diving that day…"
"Alright you over-protective fool." I kissed him on the lips and fell asleep randomly- and I say random because it was 2 o'clock in the afternoon…
I was walking in the halls, I was extra nervous today because I remembered I was supposed to die. I looked at the clock and my heart clenched. Only thirty seconds left until my impending doom; I saw Edward at the end of the hallway trying to weave through the crowd to get to me. I saw the stairs I had to take to get to my next class; this was going to be bad.
I tripped and fell down two flights of stairs. I thankfully didn't feel any bleeding. When I reached the bottom I was mobbed by a worried crowd of students; I wondered why I was unharmed, I looked over at Edward who was fighting to what looked like air.
I saw him take out his cell phone, dial a number then, click his phone shut with a smile.
I sat up and walked over to him, leaving behind my worried friends.
"Thanks for saving me from the demon before it could do anymore damage."
"Actually love, I stopped it way before you tripped, you just fell on your own." He smirked, wow classic me.
"Well where did you send her?" I asked.
He laughed out loud and then replied "nowhere".
"AH!! GET AWAY FROM EM YOU LITTLE FREAK!" Jacob screamed.
"DIE!" The girl yelled and then leapt.
So???? What do you think people?