Chapter Five: The Conclusion
"Detective, I really must insist… Leon, you don't understand…" He murmurs the words helplessly against the hollow of the other man's neck, tears falling forgotten down his cheeks. Leon has never held him like this before.
He surrenders because he cannot bear to pull away. He leans into this human, into this man he loves, fingers clinging to the naked flesh of his back. He buries his face against the soft neck in front of him, feeling the strong, frantic heartbeat, the one he has worked so hard to protect. The bitter words he needs to say hang heavy in the background, but his treacherous lips won't form around them, won't forsake his desire. Every second he waits will only cause another wound, but—
—Leon is kissing him now, hard and possessive, one hand on his jaw while the other clutches his hip, and D might be immortal but he's no match for this. He moans because he has to, moves his hands to cup Leon's face, returns the kiss fiercely. But a litany of mine, mine, mine runs through his head and then he has to break away, has to back away and keep his distance.
"Stop." He's breathless and begging, but Leon listens and waits. The space between them is on fire, and they both stare across the flames, into kindred eyes that speak of desire and need in ways that words never possibly could.
After a moment, D finds his voice.
"Leon…Leon, this cannot happen. You don't understand. I'm not…" He lowers his head, color rising to his cheeks. "I'm not normal."
And Leon smiles. "D, I think I sort of noticed that. The whole flying thing was a pretty good indication."
"That is not what I mean!" D sighs and brings a hand to his brow, thoughts racing. "My kind," he says, trying to explain. "When we love, we love differently." He lets out a soft breath, closing his eyes because the words sound wrong. He thinks of his father, of his grandfather, of their moods and their whims, and he knows they aren't the same, knows that somehow he is strange. It is not they who love differently, it is him, only him, and now he is truly alone.
But Leon steps forward slowly, through the fire, so brave, placing a tentative palm on D's covered forearm. His hand is warm.
"Teach me, then," he offers, so earnest, so trusting, but D shakes his head.
"There are things that I need, things you cannot provide. It simply isn't in your nature."
Leon frowns, palm curling, tightening against D's flesh. He's taking offense and D knows it, knows why, knows that Leon never, ever feels good enough.
"What do you mean?" Leon asks, and D bites his lip.
"My dear detective…you are fickle." He tries not to make it sound like an accusation, but it is one. "The number of women you have bedded, and the posters on your wall—all of this speaks of your need for variety." He shakes his head, Leon's touch still burning on his arm, but D is thinking of his mouth. "So many women—I can taste them on your lips." He looks at the floor, clutching his hands together tighter. It hurts to even acknowledge it, but it has to be said. "In the end, you could never be pleased with just me. And I could not bear it if you were unfaithful."
Leon looks about to argue, but D isn't finished. "I asked you to stay forever, Detective, and I meant it. But forever is a long time for a human to love one person."
Leon is silent now, angry but thoughtful, clearly trying to work something out in his mind. He lets go of D, stepping back and scratching his head absently, eyes searching the floor for answers.
D watches, impatient. The distance between them means he can almost breathe again, but drowning in Leon is a much better fate than standing here waiting on words. His own are echoing through his head, and he's certain they're true, but more than anything he wants Leon to prove him wrong.
And now Leon's looking at him again, with the smallest of smiles. "Forever forever?" he asks.
But instead of being charmed, D's gaze turns icy. "I'm not about to watch you die, Leon," he says, affronted, and annoyed that the question was asked. "Forever would be a requirement. I assumed you knew that."
"But then I wouldn't be human anymore, would I?"
Mmmm. D can see where this argument is going. Of course Leon would choose to be clever now.
He opens his mouth to protest, but Leon cuts him off.
"If you hadn't been skulking around my apartment in the dark, you might have noticed that the posters are gone." Leon waves his hand, indicating the bare walls. "And I don't even remember the last time there was a woman around here—"
"Three months ago," D cuts in. "You kept carrying on about a girl named Jessie."
There's a short silence, as Leon's smile grows wide.
"You were jealous!" he crows, but D isn't amused.
"Your list of conquests is longer than your memory," he observes coldly, but his cheeks are warm with embarrassment.
Leon's grin slowly fades into a frown. "You know what I'm getting at, D," he says, crossing his arms. "You say I'm gonna get tired of you, and I say you're wrong. So just bring on the mermaid guts and let's get this over with."
D's eyes widen in surprise—not because Leon is willing, but because he remembers. Meanwhile, the shocked silence causes Leon's grin to return.
"D, when you come all the way to the precinct to tell me about old Chinese legends, I figure there's got to be a reason." Leon steps closer, causing D to shiver, to fall in again, to lose his breath. A hand reaches for D's waist, sliding against the dark brocade, slipping past his defenses, moving gently up and down. And D wonders vaguely: if Leon Orcot is daring to pet him, then who is master of whom?
"I won't be unfaithful. There won't be anyone else." The words are quiet, serious, soothing, convincing. D closes his eyes, trying to find some way to fight them. But then Leon says, "I'll be yours, D. Just yours," and he knows he can't fight anymore.
So his eyes flash open and suddenly Leon is against the wall and his face is frightened but D doesn't care. That dangerous litany of mine, mine, mine is running through his head, and his hands must be listening because they're claiming bare skin. And then he's kissing Leon fiercely, all anger and need, and maybe just a little bit of hope.
Leon moans, and the fear is gone.
And though there are hundreds of reasons why this shouldn't be happening, D pushes them aside. He's made his choice.
He's never going to let Leon leave.