Want and Need

I had seen her coming way before I had ever seen Jasper coming. The only difference between was want and need. She was someone I wanted, someone I so terribly craved.

I knew when she had came to Forks, when Edward first laid eyes on her, that I wasn't the only one that so terribly craved for Isabella Marie Swan.

Bloodlust came before lust with Edward, as oppose to me, who was perfectly aware of how deliciously sweet her blood smelled and could possibly taste, but didn't want her for her blood. I wanted to feel her warm, soft skin against my cold, hard-as-marble skin, taste her lips against mine, hear her heart accelerate as I pleasured her the way no mortal ever could. I wanted that so bad that I almost felt that I needed it to carry on.

And I could see them getting together . . . getting married . . . her becoming one of us . . . making her, my unbeating heart ached at the thought of this, unattainable. Don't get me wrong, I am in-love with Jasper Whitlock-Hale, have been since my first vision of him, but Bella . . . Bella was someone that I had to have at least once, just to see what she could possibly. . . taste like.

I admit, I can be very stubborn at the best of times, but I can also be the most patient person ever. I knew that the time for me to have Bella would present itself--that I didn't have to make it happen.

---

It was the evening that Edward, Emmet, and Jasper went hunting. Edward convinced Bella to stay at our place to reassure her safety. Rosalie and Esme went shopping for home decor. Looking at the same furniture can become an eyesore after awhile, even with our outstanding vision. Carlisle, naturally, was at the hospital working on a heart surgery for a patient.

Jasper almost didn't leave to go hunting, he didn't trust me. He could sense the lust and infidelity coming off me. I had to tell him that he was getting weak, his eyes were the darkest I've ever seen them, and that when we went back to school that Monday, he wouldn't be able to control himself when he smelled our classmates' blood.

"I don't have to go back to school, I know what you're up to, Alice," he told me.

I grabbed both of his hands. "Jasper, please, please don't do this to yourself. You have to feed; we can't have another incident like last year. . ." I knew I had hit a soft spot when I had reminded him of the time he tried to attack Bella on her birthday last year. He still felt that all of last year's events happened because of him.

Jasper looked down at me, eyes filled with guilt. Finally he nodded. "I love you, Alice, for eternity."

I buried my face into his chest and held him close to me. "For eternity," I whispered back to him.

---

Now I sit here in Edward's room with Bella, making her read Seventeen magazine with me so I won't be so bored. She lets me play with her hair and occasionally asks questions about Edward or how Jasper and I met. I knew she already knew the answers to these questions, that she was just passing time until she saw Edward again by holding a conversation. Bella's hair smells like freesias on a spring afternoon and it was driving me crazy with lust. For the first time in my life, I didn't know how to lure in a human.

I stopped playing with her brown tendrils and started to run my fingertips along her neck.

"Alice. . ." she said softly, "what are you doing?"

I stopped. I didn't know what I was doing. . . I knew what I wanted do but I couldn't flat-out tell her, knowing Bella, she would definitely freak out. I had to lure her in slowly, make her curious, and make her want me as badly as I wanted her.

I had to pretend that she was a human whose blood I would be feeding off of.

"Bella," I said in a lustful tone that would easily draw her in. I could hear her breath become un-even and her heart skip a beat. I started to massage her shoulders, "Relax, Bella. You're too tense," I purred. As I dug the tips of my fingers into the muscles of her shoulders and her neck, she closed her eyes and moaned. It was then, when she took her shirt off that I saw that she had made her decision--that she wanted more, that she would let me have her.

"Alice. . . What's wrong?" Bella asked. I must have looked shocked or something because with that moment of confidence gone, she used her 100% cotton shirt to cover up her body.

"Nothing, Bella. I just. . . I've wanted you for so long. . ." I couldn't help it anymore, I kissed her hard. Bella immediately drew in closer; her fingers tangled themselves threw my hair, her soft, warm body pressing against my cold, hard body. I swear I could feel her heartbeat against my chest as we fell on top of one another onto the bed that Bella despised when she first arrived here. I'm sure she would feel my heart beat too if I had one. Bella tugged at my shirt and I ripped it off, not caring if I just bought it in Seattle for $49.99 at a fashion boutique, pleasing Bella was worth so much more than that.

I started to pull Bella's ratty sweatpants off to reveal a pair of navy blue cotton panties that sat on her hips quite nicely. Of course, they would look much better on the bedroom floor, and I saw to that in less that three seconds. Unfortunately, those would never be able to be worn again for I ripped those off.

Bella shivered, I didn't know if it were because of my cold body against hers or because I was pleasing her so well. I grabbed a blanket and covered both of our bodies with it, she smiled bashfully, blush spreading across her cheeks, "tha--" she tried to say, but I crashed my mouth into hers, trying to think of anything but touching and caressing Bella just in case Edward intruded my thoughts.

Having sex with Bella Swan was like dying and experiencing nirvana, it was so perfect. It felt like our bodies were meant to be together, that they fit perfectly along each other. I tried to go easy on her, knowing that she is human and fragile, but the lust had taken over and I gave her everything I got. I knew that another opportunity like this would never come up. I touched and teased and licked and nibbled and sucked until I was afraid I was going to kill her with the ecstasy that I brought to her.

I had my eyes on her the whole time, and she never looked more beautiful.

After it was over, Bella layed in my arms, her head against my chest. I knew she had to be exhausted, but she wanted to stay up with me anyways.

"Bella, dear, get some rest. Edward's going to kill me if he sees you sleep deprived."

Bella giggled. "But won't he try to kill you anyway after what we did?"

Good question.

I didn't answer her, and eventually she fell asleep. I knew Edward would be furious once he found out about Bella and I having sex, but we all know that I'll be the first to know when that day comes.