Hey, i no it's been ages, please don't be mad. ive had MAJOR writers block for AGES, then just when inspiration struck and i couldn't type fast enough i unfortunatly lost everything i wrote when the computer decided it would be a nice moment to break down. So i have now rewritten this and i really hope you like it as it caused me a great deal of stress. Oh and i no that this story is mostly from Rpsalie's POV but there is a nit of Edward thrown in here becuase, well becuase Edwards POV is the best lol. Anyways enough of my ramblings ...
After the long torturous hours since that first moment when I had answered the phone, it was finally here. The waiting was finally over. There they were, making their way toward us through the crowed of people. This was it, the moment when everything would change. What happened next would determine so much. It was hard to keep my thoughts clouded, the concentration it took was incredible but then I had never needed to hide what I was thinking more than I did now. Luckily I had been doing it for more years than I could count and I was well practiced at keeping my true thoughts hidden behind a mask of false ones, or in some cases, less important ones.
As they neared us the rest of the family surged forward to meet them, even Emmett who had remained faithfully with me despite my resentment and hostility toward everyone who had come near me, left my side after a moments hesitation. They formed a semi-circle facing the approaching couple. All except me. I felt very isolated, detached from my family. But this was how it had to be right now. I knew they would not approve of what I was about to do.
Although I wasn't entirely sure how to proceed now she was here. Bella wasn't aware of my decision, didn't know whether I was planning on helping her, or if I would abandon her baby to it's' fate. And I didn't know how I was supposed to communicate my intent to her. Should I approach her here, or wait until we were back at home, which seemed to be cutting it rather close? Or would she approach me?
As I considered the various scenarios, I observed Edward and Bella from afar. It was easy to make out the tell-tale bump of Bella's stomach that sent pangs of envy through me. She was staring at her feet dejectedly, her posture was stiff and she was clearly uncomfortable to have everyone's eyes on her. Edward had his arm wrapped round her shoulders but as they reached our awaiting family she pulled away from him. The agony in his eyes was indescribable. I couldn't imagine how he must feel; while I couldn't bring myself to feel the same, that this was a bad thing, I could understand how hard it must be, knowing Bella was in danger, even as vague and remote a danger as this, because of him once more.
After an endless moment where they all just stood perfectly still, Esme broke from the rest and pulled Bella into a tight embrace, while giving Edward her most sympathetic smile. He tried, and failed miserably, to smile back. Bella pulled away from Esme and murmured her thanks at her mother-in-law's support. Then she did something completely unexpected. She moved away from them walking toward the others. But she didn't stop; she carried on past them, moving right towards me.
This was it. This was the moment. She was so close. I took care to keep my thoughts in check, knowing Edward would be alert to anything out of place, now that Bella was approaching me.
I stood frozen, unsure of what to do, when she stopped, just a few short paces from me, her eyes filled with tears.
What had I done? That was all I could think. The entire plane journey home I had repeatedly asked myself over and over. How could I have done this to her? I was supposed to love her, care for her, protect her. And this was how I protected her; this was how I proved my love. By endangering her life yet again. I knew, I knew that it was wrong for us to be together like that. Hadn't I spent all this time pulling away from her kisses, denying my very human longings for that very reason? But in the end I had failed. I had failed to keep her safe. I had submitted to my desires and even now it was hard to believe that something that felt so right could be so wrong. But it was wrong. The proof was right in front of me.
I had known it would be hard for us to be together, but I thought it was only the possibility of my wavering control that presented a danger. That I could become overwhelmed by her scent, having her so close to me and I might give in to the monster within me, yearning for her blood. Or that I might forget for just a moment, the need to be careful, forget how breakable she was, how much stronger I was. But I had never for a moment considered that this was a possibility. I had failed her.
As we neared my waiting family, their anxious thoughts filled my head, no matter how hard I tried to block them out. They were all deeply concerned about Bella's safety and my state of mind. Even Emmett, deviating from his normal immature self, was thinking nothing about the fact that I had gotten Bella pregnant, only his worry for her health. Only Rosalie, standing apart from the others, clearly un-inclined to greet Bella and I, didn't seem at all concerned, too wrapped up in herself as usual.
How dare she? Trust her to get the one thing I want. I'm never going to forget this. Never?
To my surprise as we reached them, Bella pulled away from me, pushed away the arm I held wound round her. We all stood for a moment; I could hear the reality of the situation sinking into the minds of my family. Then Esme moved towards us and embraced Bella, her eyes on me filled with sympathy I did not deserve.
I wished that I could comfort Bella like that, but I was at a loss of how to do so. She had been so quiet on the plane, so distant and I didn't know what to say. There was nothing I could say that would make this better, that could make up for what I had done to her, what I was putting her through.
When Esme eventually released her, Bella smile at her in gratitude, the first smile I had seen on her face in a while. Then she turned and began to walk away from me towards the others. At first I though she must be going to greet Alice, but then she strode straight past them, her gaze fixed on the figure standing a short distance behind the rest of our gathering. Rosalie. I immediately focused on her thoughts; desperate to unravel Bella's odd behavior, but she seemed as confused as I was.
What does she think she's doing? How dare she approach me after this? Does she actually think I want to talk to her now? Or is she going to apologize for flaunting this in front of me?
Typical Rosalie. All she cared about was herself. It didn't matter that Bella's very life was in danger, that this could very well prove fatal. No. All that mattered was her jealousy. Bella was pregnant, and all Rose wanted was a child. The one thing she couldn't have. She wanted this and she hated Bella for reminding her that it was impossible for her. And that it was possible for Bella.
Bella came to a halt a few steps away from Rose; I could see her face through Rosalie's mind. She looked like she was going to cry again and I wanted so badly to be able to make her feel better. Instead I just stood there, waiting to see what Bella would do.
Rose's thoughts were in chaos, I couldn't make anything out. She seemed completely lost for words.
What did that mean? Please what? Was she asking for forgiveness? There didn't seem much point. Rosalie deserved no such attention nor was she likely to accept. Beside Bella had done nothing wrong, there was nothing to apologize for.
The events of the last day or so had shocked me to the point where I thought nothing could ever surprise me again. I was sure I was beyond such things. That the most unexpected thing that could possibly happen, had happened, and nothing else could ever compete. What happened next proved just how wrong I was.
Does that count as a cliffhanger. probs not since we all have a general idea of wat happens next. meh i wanted to leave it there for suspense anyway so w/e. now please review and tell me what you think, i love to hear people's opinions on this so please please review. xxx ciao xxx