I slung my guitar over my shoulder. I didn't care a backpack. I could not afford a backpack. So, I just put everything in my bag with my guitar. I left the small house that I was staying in. The owners were renting it out, but they didn't know I was staying there. I didn't know why I even bothered to go to school, I couldn't afford any supplies, but it was just something to do. I used to hate school, and then I realized how boring it was to be sixteen and not have a social life. The only way to get a social life, is to go to school.
So, here I am, pushing open the school doors. I went to the office and gathered my papers. I walked out of the office, and I was reading something. I didn't understand a word of it, but I looked at it anyway, I guess just to make it look like I was doing something. Of course, this means that I'm not watching where I'm going, so I ran into someone. She was a girl, a really tall girl with shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes. She had managed to emphasize her chest with a red sweater and tight blue jeans covered her jeans.
"Oh, sorry," I apologized as we both scrambled to gather up my things.
"No problems, I'm Candace Stevens." She handed me my papers and stuck out her hand. I accepted the papers and balanced them in one arm.
"Ember McLain." I told her with a smile and took her hand.
"Are you new?"
"Just moved to the area." I told her.
"Cool." We were standing by a water fountain, I shoved my things in my guitar bag, making sure that they were stuck under my guitar.
I lifted my head back up to see Candace twirling a piece of her hair and staring at someone over her shoulder. "So," I wondered casually, "Who do you like?" I took a step closer and looked over her shoulder.
There were two boys, one with brown hair and blue eyes, the other with sandy hair and green eyes. I couldn't tell which one she was looking at as they were both standing close.
"His name is Jimmy Mcarthy. He's the one with the blue eyes. Isn't he cute?" She squealed turning back around to face me. I took a step back so the blue eyed boy was obscured by my vision. I could still see the green eyed one. "And also, he's the hot or not guy."
Hot or not guy? Was I suppose to know what that meant? "Which means?" I inquired.
"If he thinks you're hot, you are. If he disses you, you're not. He said that I was okay last year, and since I've been crushing on him forever, I decided to step it up and start new this year. I am going to impress him. Thus the outfit." She explained, motioning to her clothes.
"Err right." I sure hoped this guy wasn't going to judge me. I would hate to feel like a lab rat, but then again, when was my luck ever great?
The green eyed boy pointed to me, and then a few seconds later pulled Jimmy to face me. Jimmy's eyes widened as he opened his mouth "DUDE! It's a hottay!" He cried. "So not my type, but you know, she is still WHOO-HOO-HOO!" Which meant everyone was staring at me. I rolled my eyes, but I noticed the green eyed boy staring at me. Jimmy leaned over and whispered in his ear. The boy said something, but Jimmy wasn't paying any attention as Jimmy came over and wrapped an arm around Candace's waist.
"I don't believe you've ever looked so perfect." He told her. It was almost sickening to watch as she replied.
"I believe I have, you've just never noticed."
"Mmm, probably." He answered, not paying attention as he was appraising her body. Just my luck to have fallen in with sex crazy seventeen year olds.
"Hey Andrew!" Jimmy announced, looking up from Candace. Beside me was the boy that had pointed me out to Jimmy. "You know Andrew right, Candace?"
"Of course." Andrew said in a way that actually said, "Well duh, and you would too if you had paid any attention to anything.
"I was just saying how I'd love to take Candace out, and that we should make it a double, you could go with, ummm. I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." He wasn't, but I'll bet that he was leading up to it.
"My name is Ember, and you better not forget it." I told him with a scowl. I probably sounded bitter, but I was. My own parents forgot my name, so now I made sure that no one else would.
Right. Ember." Jimmy smiled. He seemed to me like the type of person who would do as he told so, I knew that he wouldn't forget my name until his dying day. "So, what do you guys think?" I wasn't sure what to think. I had just learned Andrew's name and now Jimmy wanted me to date him? Pushy right? I looked toward Andrew to find him looking back. Seeing his eyes, I wanted to get to know him better, so I shrugged, leaving the choice up to him.
"Sure." He agreed to my surprise. I guess I shouldn't have been, after all, I had noticed him watching me.
"Great!" Jimmy said enthusastically. "Now, if you'll excuse us," Jimmy pulled Candace away from us by the hand. I was sure that we probably weren't going to get to this date, that Jimmy would be too busy with Candace. It was probably just a ploy to get me and Andrew together. Jimmy was a good friend.
Andrew rolled his eyes as I looked after the pair and back to him. "We're just lucky he hasn't gotten a detention yet." He confessed, I laughed.
"MR MCARTHY! MS STEVENS! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!" I was pretty sure that the yelling voice was the principal, and that Candace was probably staring at her shoes, mumbling out an explanation while every one looked on. "DETENTION! MY OFFICE AT NOON! THE BOTH OF YOU!"
"I think we spoke to soon," I kidded. Andrew smiled, his eyes twinkling as he blushed.
"Why am I not surprised?" He grumbled, trying to sound annoyed and play it cool at the same time.
"Because he's your friend, and you know what's he like." I prompted.
"Did you just move here?" He asked, seeking for conversation, I supposed.
"Yeah. Turned sixteen, ran away, never want to go back." I found myself confessing, I don't know why I said it. Just making conversation too, I suppose. We both just stood there, looking around, trying not to meet each other's eyes.
"Do you play?" Andrew asked, pointing at my guitar case.
"Would I have a guitar with me if I didn't?" I countered, thinking it would be obvious. Maybe he was dense, that would very quickly turn me off.
"You should come to my place later. I play the bass, maybe we could write a song or something." His house? He'd better not try to make a move on me. But, it would be fun to jam with him or something, and writing songs did sound cool.
"Cool, are you trying to break into the biz?" I inquired, thinking that if he was, we could try and put a band together.
"I wanted to when I started taking lessons, then I started composing my own pieces, and I realized I didn't want to play, I wanted to write." Andrew told me. He had that look in his eyes, like someone who was confessing a terrible secret.
"I assume you want me to keep this a secret." I didn't have to ask, I knew. Andrew was a follower. Plain and simple.
"What would give you that idea?" He stammered, obviously nervous, maybe trying to impress.
"You're the type of guy that comes off as a follower, one of the crowd. If anything was different then you would try to hide it. Then if it became cool, or you became successful because of what you were doing, then it would be okay to tell." I rattled off what was in my mind.
"You're very perceptive." Andrew said, looking at me in a new light.
"I have to be." I told him, I had to know how to judge people to see how much I could get away with.
The bell rang, and I realized that I had no clue where I was going. Andrew jumped at the sound and ran off yelling behind him, "Meet me on the front steps at final bell."
It turns out that I was supposed to be at the other end of the building from where I met Andrew. I spent my day randomly scribbling song blurbs in my notebook, and listening to teachers ramble. My mind flitted to Andrew from time to time. It happened so much, I had to question my sanity and wonder if he was thinking of me too. I actually couldn't believe that he'd invited me over to his house! I know that it was all about that music, but music can really bring people together, I mean, every couple has a song right? It was last period, and I tucked everything away and continued to stare at the clock. The bell rang, and it was like a stampede to get out. I kicked someone in the shin and went on my way. I went as quickly as I could to the front steps, only to find Andrew waiting for me.
"Hey, Andrew." I greeted. He stood up and turned to face me.
"Hi," For some reason he blushed as he looked at me. "Ready to go?" He asked, I nodded. After all, why would I want to hang around school? As we left the school property, I saw Andrew glance over, and shake his head at something in the direction of the woods. I followed his gaze, and saw Jimmy pulling Candace into the woods by the hand. Bad Candace, I thought, I knew what they did in those woods.
We continued our walk and soon I found myself facing a small white house. I followed Andrew in through the front door, waiting for him to say something.
"Mom?" Andrew yelled, but there was no answering call. I tailed him to the kitchen where he picked up a piece of paper, scanned it, and, after putting it in his pocket he turned to me.
"My mom's gone for the day, so we can be as loud as we want." I couldn't help thinking that I'd stick my foot somewhere very painful if he tried to imatate Jimmy with me as his Candace, but, instead of saying what I thought, I came up with a better reply.
"The louder you are the better you sound." It was a rule every musician lived by,
"True, so true." Andrew allowed. I stifled my laughter as his stomach growled. "Hungry?" He asked, his head already in the fridge looking for something.
a bit," I told him, not mentioning that I hadn't eaten properly
for a week to pay for school supplies. Andrew kicked the fridge door
closed, a fruit tray in his hands. "You wish is my command,
m'lady." He said with an english accent, trying to be classy. I
"Why thank you kind sir," My moment was ruined as I chuckled at the end of my sentance. Andrew took the seat across from me, plucking a ripe strawberry from the tray. Strawberries were alright, but I spun the tray to get to my favourite fruit. Pinapple.
"How can you eat that stuff?" Andrew asked, disgusted, his face crinkled up looking at the innocent looking food in my hand.
"Like this," I replied, popping it in my mouth with an exaggerated motion.
Days went by, and the friendly banter continued. He was a good writer, I had to admit, but he really needed to work on his playing ability. I caught him looking at me through the corner of his eye sometimes, and I even tricked myself, for a few seconds, into thinking that he liked me too. I decided, looking at his messy hair as he bent over a piece of paper, that I was going to fish around to find out his true feelings.
"I'm really glad I met you, Andrew," I told him, as I shifted the notebook in my lap. We were in his basement, and he kept trying to see what was in my notebook, but I wouldn't let him. It was a gushy love song, not my usual thing, I usually take the tragic Shakspeare route, but I felt like writing this.
"Oh?" Andrew raised an eyebrow, surprised."That's the first time anyone's said that about me."
"Why am I not surprised?" I teased. I considered telling him how I felt, but I didn't want this easy friendship to end. "But, seriously, I am. I wasn't very social back at my old place, and I'm glad I've found someone I can connect with." It was very easy to be with Andrew, he understood me like no one else could.
"I'm glad I met you too. I'm finally hanging around with someone who has an IQ higher than two." I knew he was thinking of Jimmy, and I had to agree with him. I think a poodle beat him at tic tac toe, and I doubt the poodle knew what game they were playing. Andrew slid closer to me"And you know what Ember?" He whispered in my ear, his cool breath spilling over my face and sending piece of hair twirling.
"What?" I didn't think I could breathe as I answered, letting my imagination get away from me, but not trying to rein it in either.
"This." He told me, and I didn't have time to wonder what this was as he grabbed my chin and pulled his lips to mine. My notebook clattered to the floor in a moment of surprise, I came to my senses and wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his warm skin on mine. He pulled me onto his lap, his lips never leaving mine. His breath tasted like mint, it was intoxicating.
His hands played with the bottom of my shirt and his cool fingers brushed my bare skin. I shivered at the sudden contact, I knew what he was trying to do, but I didn't even try to resist him. I knew that I should say no, but I needed this, more than I needed air. Andrew didn't hesitate and the moments blended together as he lifted my shirt free from my body.
I bit my lip to keep from crying. I stared down at my cell phone, it was a miracle I still had it, and that it was working, but, I guess my parents forgot to cancel the number and they were still paying for it. It wasn't like I used it, Andrew was the only person who ever called me, but I hadn't heard from him for ages. Actually, since I haven't heard from him since I slept with him, two weeks ago.
I had thought that I loved him, and I thought that he loved me too, but who was I kidding? He was probably just like Jimmy, but Jimmy, at least, had the courage to break up with a girl, not just leave her hanging. Candace had agreed it was for the best though, and she got closure too, something she needed so that she could move on.
But I, I had no closure. I thought that since Andrew had made love to me, we would be closer than ever, that what we'd had before would just be moved up to the next level. I was wrong though, he'd just wanted my body, and I got angry. Really angry. If Andrew even tried to make amens now, I knew I'd lose it.
It's almost Christmas, and I'm spending it here in an abandoned house, in the middle of a little town, alone. Andrew had just left me hanging. I had seen him around school with a brunette who name I could care less about. I didn't know why it hurt me so hard, it just did.
I curled up in the corner of the cold house, and looked at my guitar case. I opened, thinking I would play a few Christmas carols, it being Christmas Eve, but a piece of blue writing paper and a pen trickled out with a box of matches as I shifted my guitar. I fingered the matches. I had been thinking about it for a long while now. A long while. Ever since I saw Andrew and what's her face. And I knew that tonight, I was going to do it.
I picked up the writing paper and pen, and wrote Andrew my note of farewell:
It is my time to say goodbye. I know you said it a long time ago, but I could not. This was the only way to rid myself of you. I am not sorry that I did it. I had to forget you someway, and this was the only way to do it. First though, I need to tell you a story.
My parents forgot that I was their child. They did not know who I was when I came home one night. They forgot me, that's why I left.
Andrew, they did not remEmber my name, but you will Andrew. You will remEmber my name. Somehow, I will make you know who I am.
I saw no point in signing my name. I knew that he wouldn't remember it, and I wanted him to think about it, torture him, until I came back and made him remember it. Jimmy remembered my name, just as I knew he would. Andrew however, still had that lesson to learn.
I left the little house and went to the white one that Andrew lived in. The lights were out, it was pretty late, so I knew that they were all in bed, waiting for Santa Clause. Creeping over to the door, I picked the spare key up from under the mat and entered the house. I tiptoed into the living room and placed the envelope on the tree. The name ANDREW in big letters stared at me. I turned away, and cursed softly as I tripped over a gift.
I smiled sadly as I saw that it was for Katy. I loved Katy and Jess, they were so sweet, unlike their brother, and they would remain that way forever. As I entered the hall, I glanced up the stairs, and made a split second decision. I made no noise as I climbed the stairs. I opened the first door to Katy and Jess's room. I stole to their bedsides and gently kissed their forheads.
"Goodbye guys, I love you." I whispered, smoothing back their hair. I left their room, and walked to the last one. My hand settled on the knob as I calmed my pounding heart.
Clenching my teeth, I gathered my courage, and entered. Andrew's green eyes were closed in sleep, and his sandy hair feel to his eyelashes. I stood by his bedside, staring at his form.
"You look like an angel when you sleep," I told him, "But I know you serve the devil." And with my hate filled words, I fled.
I arrived back to my little house. I ran to my corner and picked up my guitar and matches. I ran upstairs and set that on fire first, then the other end of the house. I stood in the living room and lit my final match. Setting it on the floor on the corner of the house, I picked up my guitar and began to play, singing along. It was not the love song I never let Andrew see, I had shredded that months ago. No, I sang as the words came to me. I had no idea as to what I sang, or for how long, but I stood there until my body and guitar turned to ashes, and the fire burnt to a pile of embers.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't looking, just staring into my own eyes. I knew that tonight was the night. I had come back as a ghost, and this was how Andrew would remember my name tonight. I had sent him tickets, and he would be bringing his girlfriend.
"Five minutes." Came a warning voice. I picked up my guitar, the same one I had played all my life, and went backstage with my band.
The lights dimmed, I could see them through the curtain. I stepped out and the first act took off, running like scared chickens as we came out. I looked at Andrew, sitting as close as possible to the front of the stage and me, with his pretty little girlfriend. The way he looked at me, I knew that he still had no idea who I was. I would make him remember. I sang for hours, the crowd was captured, they cried, laughed, sung along. What I found ironic though, was the fact that Andrew looked angry as I sang an angry song about an idiot who just left me. That idiot, of course, was him.
"Okay everybody!" I yelled into the mike. It was time for one more song."We have time for one more song. This is a song that is very special to me. It's dedicated to someone in this very audience. I told him. I told him, and now he will see." Now was the time. Andrew would remember my name at the end of this.
I opened my mouth, as my band members left. This song was just me and my guitar. I had sung this song only one other time, it was the song I had sung while waiting to burn. It was perfect.
"It was, it was September,
"Wind blows, the dead leaves fall,
"To you, I did surrender,
"Two weeks, you didn't call...
"Your life goes on without me,
"My life, a losing game,
"But you should, you should not doubt me,
"You will remember my name...
"Oh, Ember, you will remember!
"Ember, one thing remains!
"Oh, Ember, so warm and tender!
"You will remember my name!
"Your heart, your heart abandoned,
"Your wall, now perishing,
"Like bad dreams in cold December,
"Nothing but ashes remain . . .
"Oh, Ember, you will remember!
"Ember, one thing remains!
"Ember, so warm and tender!
"You will remember my name!
"You will remember!
"Ember, one thing remains!
"E-e-ember, so warm and tender!
"You will remember my name!
"Yeah! You will remember my name!"
I closed my mouth as the last notes from my guitar drifted upwards, I grabbed the mike, ready to disappear when I was done speaking. I looked right at Andrew and yelled, "Do you remEmber me now? Do you remEmber me now, Andrew? My name is Ember. Do not forget it."
This is just a one-shot. I will not add more. I do not have time to add more. I refuse too. I probably shouldn't spent all of my time on this as I have other fanfics to update. I have some Danny Phantom summaries that I'm willing to hand out if anyone needs something to write. Just pm me. Ideas are appreciated, you'll get your credit. Complaints ignored unless it's in the form of constructive criticism. Reviews motivate me. Don't own it. I hope some of you will check out my other fics. If something confuses you please don't be afraid to ask questions. Something I write may make sense to me but not to you.