Title: A Fishy Tale
Authors: Lora Kael and Qui-Gina Jinn
Disclaimer: We don't own sw; we're just playing around.
Notes: I was 'ordered' to write an insanity, but the words refused to put themselves together. So I turned to Gina, who happened to be present on skype and msn. So, the first part was written through msn and then the last part I finished on my own after Gina had logged off. Quite interesting way of writing since we just made up the plot as we went, and didn't seem to quite have the same 'plot' in mind when we wrote. ;)

Thanks to Gina for doing the beta-ing. Please leave a review even if small. I(we) crave them.

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were walking down a skywalk on Coruscant, when Obi-Wan suddenly realized that Qui-Gon had stopped.


Qui-Gon turned to Obi-Wan with a small smile playing on his lips. "I know just the place to have lunch, Padawan," he said as he started for a small cantina. He knew that his padawan was always hungry, and he was curious to see how see how his apprentice would react to this.

They entered a crowded, dimly lit room, and Qui-Gon spotted a table in the far corner with a good view of the rest of the occupants.

Once they were seated they picked up the menu. As Obi-Wan perused it he discovered that all the dishes included fish. He slowly looked up and took in the decoration. All of it was fishy.

"I didn't know we were at Mon Cal, Master," he commented dryly.

Qui-Gon just smiled his little smile and went back to perusing the menu.

"Raw fish, boiled fish, fried fish – is there anything NOT containing fish?" Obi-Wan asked.

Qui-Gon chuckled. "No, this is, quite obviously, a fish restaurant."

Obi-Wan shot him a sharp glance. "I figured as much."

Qui-Gon looked carefully through the menu and after a while he chose a dish. Obi-Wan on the other hand, ended up closing eyes and drawing his finger up and down randomly, finally settling on something. They waited for their lunch in comfortable silence, just enjoying each others company.

Qui-Gon's dish came first, consisting of several delicious pieces of well-prepared fish. A moment later Obi-Wan's dish arrived. He eyed it suspiciously.

It was a huge fish, still whole, including what must a have been the tail and something resembling a head. At least it had two very ugly eyes. Worst of all, it was still...

"Master, is it supposed to be wriggling?"

Qui-Gon looked up from his plate. "That must be your imagination, Padawan."

Obi-Wan stared intensely at the creature he was supposed to eat.

"Hey-loie dere, eater!"

Obi-Wan pushed himself backwards staring at the plate in shock. "It spoke!!!"

"Aff-cause mesa speekin – wadda yousa tink, dat mesa dead?"

The padawan's jaw dropped.

"Obi-Wan close your month; it's not good manners to drool over your food like that." Qui-Gon hit his grin by taking a huge bite of his own food.

"Master, it spoke! The – thing – spoke to me! The thing spoke!!"

"Mesa noo beein a tiing! Mesa tinken yousa beein wery wude! Yousa spake 'tiing' of mesa!"

"Erm... Sorry." Obi-Wan looked at Qui-Gon. "Master, now I'm speaking WITH it...!"

Qui-Gon didn't reply, he seemed to be totally absorbed in consuming his lunch.

"Master, did you hear what I said? It's talking to me!"

"Then you shouldn't be rude, Padawan. Reply to it."

Obi-Wan stared at his master in disbelief.

"Are yousa dere?"The fish flapped it's tail and blinked.

Obi-Wan blinked. He just couldn't believe a fish was talking to him! A fish that was supposed to be dead. Wasn't it? "Erm, yeah... I'm here..." He looked around quickly making sure no one was looking. "So... You have name or something?"

"Mesa called Fisk. Mesa called Flad Fisk."

"Flad Fisk." Obi-Wan tried to pronounce the strange word; Flad. It felt funny.

"And whosa are yousa?"

"Er, Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan Kenobi." Obi-Wan felt really strange talking to a fish. He looked back up at Qui-Gon, who seemed to have eaten most of his dish by now. "Master?"

"Yes, Obi-Wan?"

"I wondered if we could leave?"

"Why, is that, Padawan?"

"The fi... Flad Fisk, is talking to me and I'm NOT going to eat a fish I know the name of," Obi-Wan said as calmly as possible.

"I've never heard you decline food before, Padawan." Qui-Gon studied the boy.

"I haven't declined food, but this has nothing to do with food! Master, the 'fish' is alive and speaking to me!" Sending his Master a look of pure disgust at the thought, he added: " And he even has a name!"

"All beings have a name, Padawan."

"This isn't the name for the species; it's his."

"Are yousa gonna eatin mesa?"

Obi-Wan looked down at the fish. "Er, no. Don't think so." He gently pushed his plate away a little.

"Tank da Force! Yousa are a grate person, Obi-Wan," Flad Fisk said happily.

"Obi-Wan, eat up. It's not good manners to leave your plate full."

Obi-Wan found this being more and more surreal. Flad Fisk was now pleading with him not to be eaten in that strange accent, while Qui-Gon was lecturing him about leaving food, when so many people had to go to bed without dinner. This really wasn't making sense. Master Qui-Gon wasn't like this.

"Master, you're not making sense! Why, do you want me to eat a talking fish?"

"Padawan, you're being rude. Now eat your food."

"No, I won't. I just won't, Master."

Qui-Gon looked at him sharply. "Obi-Wan, eat your food. That is an order."

"With all due respect, Master, no." Obi-Wan crossed his arms in silent protest.

Suddenly Qui-Gon stood up looking like a thundercloud. "Padawan, eat the fish!"

Obi-Wan stayed seated, though he now felt somewhat intimidated. "No."

Qui-Gon looked as though he was going to go dark, and the sky outside darkened with his temper. Obi-Wan stared at his Master positively scared by now, but standing his ground. He would save Flad Fisk even if it meant defying his Master.

All of a sudden Qui-Gon broke into a big grin, strode around the table and hugged Obi-Wan, who was totally perplexed. "Congratulations, Padawan! You have passed the test." Qui-Gon's smile could not be mistaken.

"The test?" Obi-Wan said with confusion.

"Yes, Padawan. You have shown yourself willing to always stand up for those who can not fight for themselves and preserve life." Qui-Gon smiled proudly. "I am proud to have you as my padawan."

Obi-Wan smiled now. It had been a test. A pretty weird test, but at least it had only been a test.

"Come, Padawan, it's time to leave now, I think."

Obi-Wan was just about to walk away when he heard a distinct voice behind him.

"Yousa leaving mesa 'ere? Mai skin is doin murder to mesa!"

Obi-Wan looked back at Flad Fisk. "No, off course not." Obi-Wan walked back, lifted the slimy fish up and walked over to the aquarium and put Flad in it.

"Twank yuu, mister. Yousa beein a wery good person!"

Obi-Wan shook his head lightly as they walked out of the restaurant and thought about what food they would get back at the temple. He was really hungry now.

"Finally! I could eat a bantha by now!" Obi-Wan exclaimed as Qui-Gon came with food.

Qui-Gon sat down opposite Obi-Wan and put the plates on the table. "Enjoy padawan," he said with a little smile. Obi-Wan stared. It was fish.