A/N: I decided to write this in honour of the upcoming Valentines Day. It doesn't really have anything to do with 'For the Love of Spandex', but if you squint and turn your head I guess it could. Take a read and let me know what you think. SS

All standard disclaimers apply.

Oh and by the by Kyoko Kasshu Minamino is a synonym for awesome. Supportive betas make the world go round.

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My Funny Valentine

Max wasn't sure when she started to hate Valentines Day.

It could have been that time in the third grade when Nelson Nash had given her a clumsily programmed e-card displaying a bumblebee surreptitiously turning red and pink every few seconds, the words: "Bee My Valentine" flashing at the top. The card wasn't the reason she winced every time she thought of the incident, it was the look on Terry's face when he saw it. The kid had always had a temper, but this mask of blank fury was like nothing she had ever seen before, and it was the first time she ever remembered feeling intimidated by her best friend who was at least a head shorter than her. A glare like that could melt ice caps. Bruce would have been proud. Then there was the subsequent fight behind the dumpsters in the parking lot after school that ended with Terry's bloody nose, Nelson's black eye and Max's gash on the arm from when she fell whilst trying to pull the scrapping boys apart. Nelson and Terry never liked each other much after that.

Or perhaps it was Valentines Day in the sixth grade when she looked around the classroom, and saw all her girl friends giggling and hunched over multiple boxes of chocolates or assortments of cheap carnations from their secret admirers and then she looked to her own desk at school only to find a lonely card from Terry vowing to be best friends forever. The twelve year old girl had always preferred the mysterious allure of secret admirers to the dependability of best friends. But no one really gave Max Valentines anymore. She couldn't be sure why that was but she liked to think the Terry/Nelson throw down sized hole in everyone's memory had much more to do with it than anything she could have possibly done.

Her dislike for the day could have easily been from the seventh grade when her dad walked out on her mum before the sun had fully risen on the chilly morning of the fourteenth. She couldn't be entirely sure when he packed up and left but he was definitely there the night of the thirteenth telling Gina to stop checking her email at the dinner table and warning Max to finish her green beans if she ever wanted to see the inside of the Young Programmers Computer Fair in the Wayne Powers building. There was only one week of the fair left, so she dutifully polished off the contents of her plate, her face curled in disgust as the bitter vegetable slid down her throat. So he'd definitely been there that night but not the next day because before she'd even had the chance to pour her morning grapefruit juice she'd seen her mother slumped on a chair by the kitchen table with her tears flowing freely from her eyes and a hastily scrawled note clenched in her fist. Max had run to her room immediately and picked up the phone to call Terry who she had barely seen at school over the last few weeks. Mr McGinnis answered the phone and explained that he'd seen his son about as often as Max had because it turned out when Terry had hit his puberty growth spurt he'd also hit the streets running. She never did go to that computer fair.

Of course how could she have forgotten the tenth grade Valentines Day date she had with Torch Wilson, the new kid in school with long hair and musicians hands. He had cooked her dinner, taken her to see an old movie at the I-Max theatre and even written a song for her on his guitar. In all honesty she had found the whole thing a little corny but she was grateful to him for giving her, her first real Valentines Day experience so in return she gave him her virginity in the back seat of his Volvo x90. It was cramped, rushed and it hurt like hell but not anywhere near as much as the ache in her chest when he hadn't called her for seven days after. That ache had only intensified when eight days later she heard that Torch was now claiming the coveted title as Blade Summer's boyfriend, even if that only lasted two weeks. She hadn't told her best friend about the events of that night, because she was sure that after he was done with Torch, Terry would be visiting juvie way too soon after his recent release.

Still, Max was certain that all those unfortunate experiences over the years were going to be specks in the wind compared to the almighty shit storm that this Valentine's Day was going to be. She had been completely content with pretending that the leap year meant that this years February calendar ran smoothly from the thirteenth to the fifteenth with no stops for candy or flowers. That was until Terry had barged into her room looking scandalized and out of breath and begged her to coordinate his date with Dana because he apparently also went by her modified calendar and had completely forgotten the day belonged to Saint Valentine. He was such a Y chromosome stereotype sometimes. Pulling inspiration from as many Hollywood blockbusters as she could Max planned out the most romantic Valentines Day that was possible in two hours, because Dana really did deserve it. It sucked because Max knew she would only have to pick up the pieces of her hard work when Terry would inevitably skip out of the restaurant because some Arkham escapee had decided to paint the town red.

Max waved goodbye to her friend as he raced out to pick Dana up and then sat on her bed and listened to the soothing music wafting from her computer. She guessed she just couldn't pretend Valentines Day didn't exist; it was fine that it was a big deal to everyone else but it most certainly didn't have to be to her. She'd rather be at home reading Ayn Rand than in a too tight dress at a restaurant she couldn't afford anyway. The music in her room changed and the beginning bars of 'My Funny Valentine' rang out before the song was hastily cut short. Just because she was fine with Valentine's Day didn't mean that she had to be reminded of it just yet.

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A/N: Not that I'm bitter or anything. Jeez. Please see my profile for an epic author's note for this story. You know, if you want….

The ending isn't great I know, but I'd like to hear anything else you have to say, or even if you just wanted to repeat that the ending isn't great.

Remember RRR (Responsible Readers Review)