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Boy Genius

There's a lot to be said for being labeled a "child prodigy." Most of it's not entirely positive. For one thing, people expect a lot more from you. If you spend your time, say, playing a video game for hours on end, you're accused of wasting your potential. Believe me, I know these things. I was labeled a "child prodigy" as a child, and it's been nothing but a hassle.

Being blessed with intelligence has its advantages. For one thing, I never have to study before a big test. Nope. Once I've read the material, it sticks with me. It could be my genuine interest in learning, unlike the meathead dopes that attend my high school. I don't even know why I have to suffer through high school in the first place. I mean, I'm constantly surrounded by apes, making their stupid noises at one another.

Half the jocks don't even know how to actually speak English. Have you heard them in the halls? It's all sups and grunts while they slap each other around. Have you seen that ridiculous thing where they smack their chests together? It's so gay. I think they should just create a new official language for jocks. Jockese. Jockian. Jockican. Something like that.

Now, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm waxing on about my smarts. If you don't know me, then it would be the logical question: why does this guy talk so much about his brain? I happen to be proud of my above-average intelligence. But that's not why I'm talking about it. At least, not in this specific context. Let me tell you why I'm going on and on about my intelligence.

I'm starting to learn that intelligence doesn't… This pains me so much to say… But I am… Ugh. Do I really have to admit this?

I am starting to realize that no matter how intelligent a person is, when you are blindsided intelligence doesn't matter. I can't believe I said that. Ew. Intelligence doesn't matter?

Noah would never say that. Well, shut up, because he has. Let me remind you, that it does matter in almost any other field, but in this case… It doesn't really give you a leg up.

I'll tell you who is an expert at blindsiding people. Her name starts with an I. And ends with a Y. Actually, she goes by E-Scope now, but that is entirely beside the point. I thought Izzy was my friend. She may not appear it, but she's actually somewhat intelligent. Or she's so out there that not even the most intelligent person can predict her actions, which is almost an intelligence in itself. …You know what? Don't judge me. I'm telling this story.

Izzy. I thought she was my friend. I thought she was smart. But then she started hounding me. Hounding me isn't smart. It's the opposite of smart. It's infuriatingly, stupidly retarded. But she just wouldn't let it go.


This is how pissed I am.

I am using CHAT SPEAK.

I never use chat speak. I'm above it. I'm intelligent, remember? You know what else pisses me off? When people spell the word whoa wrong. It is not woah. It's so wrong. It's a four letter word. How do you misspell a four letter word? Go out and buy a dictionary. Look the word up. Or, you know what? Get a word processor that actually works. I'm tired of looking at you people hideously massacring the English language. It's disgusting. Why do you even bother showing up for school? If you're not retaining any knowledge, I suggest you just quit now. If you're in high school and you're still misspelling whoa, then there is no hope for you. Get lost.


As I was saying. Izzy kept on pestering me about this thing with Cody. There is no damn thing with Cody. She kept throwing it in my face that I kissed him. Oh my god! I did not!

Okay. You know what? I quit right now. If you're not going to believe me, then why should I even bother arguing?

That's right.

On with my story.

Okay, well. I don't know how Trent knew. That was just… Why is everyone spying on me, anyway? Am I so interesting that people have to watch me sleeping with another guy?!

Not like that. Get your mind out of the gutters, please.

All right, so I kissed him. It was on the damn ear. It doesn't count.

What was I dreaming about? Uh, I plead the fifth.

Do you know what that means? Pleading the fifth means you are falling back on the Fifth Amendment which… I'm not explaining this to you. Go look it up if you don't know what it is.

So, I'm sure you're wondering when I'm going to get to the part where I concede that intelligence really doesn't trump all? You're probably waiting for the part where Noah gets his pride handed to him in a colored Easter basket and is forced to eat crow. Do you know what that means? I'll just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you do. I really don't feel like explaining.

I'm sure you just can't wait.

It started with Izzy pestering me. It ended with me humiliated in every way possible.

This is the story… Of me learning what falling in love really means.

That's one lesson you really can't learn from a teacher. Well, unless your teacher is into that kind of thing.

Fine, it's one lesson you can't learn from reading a book. Trust me, I know. Reading about it is nothing like the real thing. It's messy, scary, threatening, life-changing, disgusting, amazing, and you know what?

I wouldn't change it for the world.


A/N: I hope that was intriguing enough to keep you interested. I also hope Noah's habit of talking down didn't scare any readers away.