What Could Have Been

James: I love you. Your beauty is like the light from a thousand suns, or the poetry of a moonlit Snitch, or the glory of a million successful pranks, or—

Lily: Tchah!

James: Go out with me, Evans!

Lily: Potter, you arrogant toerag! Leave me alone. I hate you.

James: I love you. My heart is at your feet. Go out with me, Evans!

Lily: We-ell, you're not so bad, and Sev needs punishing…I…I love you, too.

James: Oh, Lily, light of my life! Let's get married!

Lily: Um….OK. You're not too smart. I like that in a man.

James: What? You're pregnant?!? Already?

Lily: Let's call him Harry, and raise him not to be prejudiced against Muggle-borns, unlike persons who shall remain nameless (and shampoo-less).

James: What?

James: Look! He looks just like me! We're adorable! Ruffles hair.

Lily: We have to keep him safe because of that really inconvenient prophecy that might mean he's destined to defeat the greatest Dark wizard of all time.

James: What?

James: I'm bored. Let's do something reckless, like how at school me and my Animagus friends ran around with a werewolf once a month and almost got expelled that time…and that other time…and that other time…

Lily: I always disproved of that. You were such a jerk at school. I miss Sev. He always understood me… sigh

James: not listening Come on! Let's do something dangerous!

Lily: Dumbledore still has your Invisibility Cloak, sweetie.

James: Even he couldn't disapprove of us taking Harry to see his godfather!

Sirius: Thank Godric you're safe!

James and Lily: What?

Sirius: Peter betrayed us, the two-timing snotrag. Voldemort destroyed your house less than an hour ago in a rage. We only heard about it because Rita Skeeter sent out a Quick Quotes broadcast over the radio in your neighborhood. Dumbledore reckons now he'll keep searching for you, but there's also the Longbottom kid.

James: Are you sure about this? We should find Remus and apologize for doubting him, then go and murder Peter!

Sirius: I don't know. I'm betting my cousin Bellatrix Lestrange has already tortured him into insanity for making Voldemort a laughingstock.

Lily: What about our poor cat? At least Harry's safe. Sirius, will you be our Secret-Keeper this time and NOT betray us, or should I owl one of MY old school friends?

James: We can trust Sirius, darling. Even if he did try to kill Snivellus that time. After all, it was only Snivellus.

Lily: glare.

James: Stop worrying. Now that Voldemort's disappeared off the face of the planet when he was vanquished by a tiny baby—a Longbottom, no less—we're safe. Merlin, I'm bored.

Lily: Where are you going?

James: Out.

Lily: What is this? I saw you with Mary McDonald; how could you, James?

James: Mary's cute. I didn't mean anything…

Lily: You cheated on me!

James: I'm sorry, Lily. I still love you!

Lily: I'm taking Harry and we're going. You arrogant toerag, Potter! Storms out.

James: What's with her?

James: Lily, I'm sorry! I love you! Lily!

Lily: Get out.

James: What's he doing here?

Lily: Don't talk about Sev like that.

James: Death Eaters NEVER change their spots, Lily! Him not being evil…it would be like if Sirius's cousin Bellatrix adopted twins from an underprivileged country! Muggle-born twins!

Severus: Don't be silly, Potter. Smiles happily. So, how have you been?

Lily: displaying ring to James We're getting married!

James: He's—you're—what? Are you out of your mind? And what about my son—!

Lily: He'll be such a good father figure to Harry, won't you, Sev? Don't worry, James: Harry can still visit with you, when you're not too busy.

Severus: Harry's adorable. He has your eyes.

Lily: You still love me?

Severus: I've always loved you, Lily.

Lily: Even when you called me a Mudblood that time in fifth year?

Severus: I only said it because you didn't seem to care about me anymore, and being nasty is the only way to survive Slytherin House.

Lily: Sev, I want you to know: I forgave you.

Severus: Oh, Lily! I love you!

Lily: And I love you! Passionate kiss. James leaves in disgust.

James: outside But I love you! I…oh, whatever.

The End