Author's Notes: Just a short drabble I wrote that... somewhat makes fun of L, I suppose. ;-)
++ Ding Dong ++
+ A Death Note Drabble+
Matsuda just happened to pass by the To-oh campus and decided to pay Ryuuzaki and Light a visit, who had started to share a dorm room a couple of weeks ago. Upon approaching the dorm, he was presented with the common sight of Ryuuzaki crouching with laptop in front of him and typing away; what was less common about it was that he was doing all of this in the hallway.
Matsuda stopped dead in his tracks. "Ryuuzaki." He was eyeing the detective up and down. "May I ask what you are doing on the floor?"
The detective lifted his eyes, let them trail boredly over the Japanese man before they swirled back to the laptop in front of him. "Certainly, Matsuda-san." He didn't pause in his his incessant click-clacking of his laptop keys. "I've been locked out of the room. As can be deduced by the lights having been switched on in both the kitchenette and the bedroom, someone is currently inside. I can rule out the presence of a thief as both the windows and the door are in impeccable condition and I have personally convinced myself of the alarm system's working condition a mere two days ago. This leaves Light-kun as the only possible current occupant of our shared dorm."
"Oh," Matsuda commented lamely. "So, uh, he locked you out on purpose?"
L's thumb slipped between his lips. "I'm about 80% certain that, rather than having locked me out in purpose, he is just unable to attend to the door in his current state of unconsciousness."
Matsuda blinked. "So you're saying he was... knocked out?"
Then Ryuuzaki gave him this look, the one that very rarely surfaced, but when it did, always managed to say, 'I'm mentally running laps around you, try and catch me!' "Not literal unconsciousness, Matsuda-san - it's been known to me through very reliable sources that Light has been engaging in alcohol consumption. Therefore my assumption is that his being asleep is what is rendering him unable to open the door."
Matsuda scratched the back of head, eyes drawn upward in thought. "Huh."
"Yes, indeed." Ryuuzaki fished some candy out of his pockets, shoved them into his mouth and chewed thoughtfully while squinting at the screen.
The police officer was getting the impression that Ryuuzaki wasn't going to say anymore, so he shifted his weight. "Um, Ryuuzaki - so what are you going to do about getting inside?"
Ryuuzaki shifted his position on the floor; when he spoke, his voice was laced with pride. "Oh yes, about that." He swallowed, then started to lick clean one of his fingers while he continued to type away on his laptop. "The first thing I did was call Light's cell phone - unfortunately, I've found it to be switched off. Careful consideration has brought me to the conclusion that there is a 70% chance that, instead of Light-kun having it switched off in a deliberate attempt to avoid me, the phone's energy supply has run out. Since there is a high likelihood that Light-kun is currently immobilized, it is logical that he would not be able to re-charge his phone."
"That does seem logical," Matsuda agreed.
Another one of those looks. "Next I tried sending Light-kun an instant message, but he wasn't online. As with the aforementioned phone predicament, this can be explained by him likely being alseep."
The Japanese man nodded, wondering where this was all going.
Ryuuzaki went on in a droning voice, charcoal eyes never once leaving his laptop. "Next, I SSH'ed into the Mac mini in the living room and got the speech synth to yell at him, but it does not appear to be working. You see, Matsuda-san, Light is a very light sleeper by nature - any sort of noise would wake him up and if it weren't for the 30% chance of the window breaking and a 5% chance of the glass shards hurting Light, I would throw pebbles at the window to wake him up. "
Matsuda couldn't think of any response that wouldn't be enormously inappropriate.
Thankfully, Ryuuzaki didn't really need his input to keep talking. "Next, I decided to try to fix the speech synth and I'm currently reading the OS X docs to switch it on manually via command line. That is what I'm currently doing."
"Ah." Matsuda looked somewhat confused. "So... I take it the door bell doesn't work?"
Ryuuzaki stopped typing.
He whipped his head around to stare at Matsuda.
His eyes widened.