DISCLAIMER: Naruto isn't mine

A/N: Well, here goes my first Naruto fic and my first 'proper' lemon. So please tell me if there's OOC or if this is really horrible or there's already a story exactly like this in this fandom. I modelled Naruto's job after that of a Go-Go dancer, though I don't know if he really is that. But whatever. I don't know the drinking age and stuff like that in Konoha so I just made it sixteen and as a result made all of the Rookie Nine sixteen and over. In this fic Sasuke never left to join Orochimaru.

WARNINGS: Mansex (male on male), a song called Smack My Bitch Up (in case that offends you, but it's just awesome song.)


The thing was, Naruto was positively broke.

The missions he had done when he was a Genin had gone a long way in putting him in a not-good-but-not-bad financial situation, and he had actually had some money to buy things that he wanted, not only things that he needed. He'd been pretty comfortable for a while, buying every flavour of ramen in the local shop like he had wanted to do since the age of five, getting a bed that didn't feel like a layer of gravel with a sheet spread over it and fixing up the parts of his apartment that had been thoroughly trashed for a long while. He felt that he'd been very mature with his money and should be commended.

And then he had gone on that training trip with Ero-sennin and everything had gotten shot to hell. It was fine during the trip itself; Ero-sennin, being such a popular author, had an above average amount of money to spare (though Gama-chan had been mysteriously emptied every now and then) and they were too busy training out in wooded areas and travelling around most of Fire Country's hot springs to have a very big hotel bill. They had also eaten ramen most of the time because it was cheap (though he definitely wasn't complaining.) The only thing they really wasted money on was alcohol (for Jiraiya, though Naruto had managed to get the man to buy drinks for him when he was drunk a fair few times) and the living conditions had been fine in the opinion of a ninja.

Then they had gotten back to Konoha... and Naruto had found new graffiti decorating his apartment and two broken windows, but not much else wrong. He had actually been amazed and gleeful at the small amount of damage – maybe the villagers were warming up to him and there were only a few radicals left? When Jiraiya ran off again Naruto had been fine for about a week, Gama-chan fat enough to keep him fed and clean and pay for some new glass, but then he had walked into the kitchen one morning and found that all his ramen was gone. He'd shrugged to himself, and confidently strolled over to grab Gama-chan and go to the store – when he saw to his horror that the frog was empty.

After just gaping in shock for a while he had decided that he had better visit the Hag and go on a mission or two. When he was finally given entrance into the Hokage's office (the receptionist had been too busy talking on the phone to do anything else, let alone talk to the Kyuubi brat) Tsunade had greeted him happily and then informed him that the only available missions at the moment were D ones. Even having a tantrum didn't cause Tsunade to suddenly discover a higher-level mission hiding among her other papers. After a thoroughly unsympathetic 'bad luck, little Genin, there hasn't been enough missions to go around lately' he had been kicked out onto the streets quicker than he could say 'you're a terrible Hokage, hag!' (Well, actually he had gotten the chance to say that. Then he had been forcibly evacuated by one hell of a punch.)

Now, this is when a normal person would think, it's time to get a job flipping burgers and/or mooch off friends and family members. It definitely wasn't like that for Naruto. He knew he wouldn't get employed because people mistrusted him due to the Kyuubi thing and because of his infamous pranks. He was an orphan and also pretty damn sure that none of his friends would give him more than a couple of dollars or a plate of food. Tsunade would be the richest person he knew but he didn't feel like crawling back to the Hokage Tower after his swift dismissal. Sasuke had his inheritance – but as if he would ever give money to the dobe. He had been on his way home, rubbing his sore cheek and thinking dark thoughts because it seemed the right thing to do, when he had walked past an unlit neon sign.

It was a place he had walked past almost every day for years on his way home. As such he knew it quite well. It was a small nightclub, squished in between a boarded up shop that had been in that same state for as long he could remember and a crumbling apartment. The dark sign was a simple affair, just the clubs name in block letters and underlined twice. He had made sure never to walk past it when the place was actually open. He had been in nightclubs with Ero-sennin before and had liked the freedom and anonymity, but those ones hadn't been in the slums like this was.

That day, walking past the heavy wooden door, a scrap of white had caught his eye. There was a piece of paper stuck to the door. All these years, he had never seen anything attached to the dark, scratched wood, so he stepped forward and squinted as he read the notice. It was a job advertisement.

"Eh, let's see... I can't dance... I'm not at the legal drinking age... WHAT A GOOD WAGE!"

And he was sold.


"Kakashi-sensei, we have a mission right? Tell me we have a mission!"

There was a pause, and then Kakashi's one visible eye slowly took on the half-moon shape that signalled he was smiling. With bated breath Naruto waited. Surely Team Seven must have a real mission now, after a month of doing D's and C's? He was bored out of his mind, and he was sad to say that his job was the most exciting thing in his life right now.

"Well, Naruto..."

"Yes?!"

"I can tell you..."

"Tell meee!!"

"... that we do..."

A gasp.

"... not have any missions."

Naruto promptly fell flat on his face. "ARGH! You bastard, don't put me in suspenders like that!"

"...Suspenders, dobe?"

"I mean in suspense! Don't put me in suspense, Kakashi-senseeeeeiiiiiiiii!"

He, Sakura and Sasuke were at the bridge, which they had all arrived at just half an hour earlier. After so long with Kakashi as their sensei they knew that when he said seven he really meant nine, and as such they all arrived at around eight thirty. He had been playfully flirting with Sakura while Sasuke stood to one side, arms crossed as he stared into the middle distance. It was weird seeing him wearing that new outfit of his – without the presence of the katana Naruto wouldn't have identified him as a ninja but a gay pirate, and Naruto would know what a gay pirate looked like.

He did work in a gay bar, after all.

It was his dirty little secret. He had managed to get the job after lying about his age (though he was sure the owner knew perfectly well that he was only fifteen but just decided to ignore that fact) and getting some dancing lessons from his fellow workers. The owner had made it clear that the only reason he hadn't turned Naruto away when he had applied was that he was apparently 'delightfully smexy.' Whatever that meant. After a week of training and giving himself a different look (so he wouldn't be recognised as Konoha's most surprising ninja or the Kyuubi-reincarnate (snort)) he had started his work. He definitely had enough ramen nowadays.

"Okay, guys. We're training today."

There was a groan from Naruto, a huff from Sakura and a roll of the eyes from Sasuke.

"Well, in that case I'll go to the hospital. Have fun Sasuke, Naruto." And with a wave of the hand Sakura walked briskly away. By the time Naruto had turned away from her retreating form Kakashi had vanished and Sasuke was making his way to the training grounds.

"Oi, bastard, wait up! Let's spar!"

"Hn."

"Yesterday was just a fluke. I'm gonna thump you! Let's use only Taijutsu today! We haven't done that in a while!"

"Fine. And you don't need to shout everything, moron."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, BASTARD?!" Naruto grinned victoriously when the Uchiha's left eyebrow gave a telling twitch. It was his dubious honour to be the one of the very few people in Konoha that could get Sasuke to show any sort of emotion that wasn't complete indifference. He had definitely grown colder in the years that Naruto had been away.

"Hn." In his revenge, Sasuke sneered pointedly at his head, and Naruto's hands flew up as though to protect the helmet-like hat that he wore to cover his dyed hair. It was stupid, but Naruto planned to quit his job anyway after he became a Chunnin and as a result got more missions.

"Shut up! It's not like I enjoy wearing this thing!" When he had started to wear the hat he had told his team that it was because some kid had decided that it would be fun to put a huge hunk of bubblegum in his hair, and as a result he had to cut it out (he didn't trust anyone near his head with a sharp object) and thus ruin his hair. They seemed to buy it, but now that he had been wearing the hat for almost two months they were getting a bit sceptical. Sasuke didn't make it a secret that he thought Naruto looked like an imbecile.

They reached the training ground, a simple dirt clearing, and fell into their respective stances. "Alright!" Naruto yelled. "Taijutsu only, no techniques! And don't you dare use your Sharingan asshole! Go!"

Half an hour later they were sprawled out, panting, on either side of the clearing. Naruto grinned to himself as he stared up at the sky; it had been a good fight, Sasuke only winning by a small fraction. It was strange – he felt that his movements had been different than usual, not his normal jerky but powerful style but something more graceful. He gave a thoughtful hum to himself. Maybe dancing was actually good for something?

"Dobe."

"What?"

There was a silence, and it dragged on for so long that Naruto rolled to the side and stared expectantly at his rival. Sasuke had a funny look on his face as he stared back, and Naruto felt the hairs on the back of his neck prick up.

"Whaaat? Why are you staring, Sasuke-bastard?"

"Hn. It's nothing." And Sasuke turned and got to his feet, but not before Naruto saw the very slight dusting of pink on his cheeks. Naruto frowned in consternation as he watched the Uchiha walk away, too lazy to get up just yet. What was that all about?

After a few seconds of thought he shrugged to himself and lumbered to his feet, feeling sated and lethargic after the good spar. He had long ago come to terms with the fact that he would never be able to solve the mystery that was Sasuke. Seeing that the bastard was turning into just a small spot in the distance Naruto ran after him. It wasn't like he had anything to do except go to work at eight thirty, so why not annoy his stoic team mate?

"Hey, wait up! Let's go get some lunch!"

"Not ramen."

"Aww, are you sure?" The look Sasuke gave him spoke volumes, and he chuckled and gave the Uchiha a hard slap on the back that sent the poor boy into a coughing fit. "Just kidding! We can go wherever you want! I'll even pay for my own food! Aren't I kind?!"

"Moron."

"Whaaat? That's a good thing!" The look that he received this time was clearly a think-of-all-the-times-I've-shouted-you-ramen one. Naruto grinned, unperturbed. It was amazing that Sasuke had even agreed to eat lunch with him in the first place without Naruto having to beg for about half an hour; he could survive. He was sure he could get Iruka to go with him to Ichiraku's later on anyway.

An hour later, a considerably fuller Naruto strolled alongside his team mate as they walked aimlessly around town, just enjoying each others company (well, Naruto liked to think Sasuke enjoyed wandering around with him whilst being talked at, but the non-expression on his face gave nothing away.)

"… and then I told the Old Hag that she's an awful Hokage and that I could do better, cause, you know, that's the truth, and then she punched me in the face so hard that I fell out of the door! Don't you think that -"

"NARUTO, SASUKE!"

Naruto paused in his chattering, turning around in tandem with Sasuke to see Kiba and Akamaru running up the road towards them, a red-faced Hinata being dragged behind him. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" he cried, cheeks a little flushed with exertion as he stopped in front of them. Beside him Hinata was looking at a point somewhere over Naruto's shoulder, blush hot on her cheeks.

"Huh, what is it?"

"You know how it's Chouji's birthday today?" At the blank looks from the Uzumaki and the Uchiha Kiba rolled his eyes and carried on. "Yeah, it's his birthday. Anyway, he's turning sixteen so we're gonna go to dinner and then a nightclub and you guys are invited! It's gonna be a guy's night out, no girls! Well, except for the dancers…" At this Hinata's blush somehow became even brighter.

"Eh? If it's a guy's night out then why is Hinata with you?" Naruto asked, cocking an eyebrow and then giving a bewildered frown when Kiba gave a little cough, cheeks considerably pinker. "… Um. Anyway, I'm soooo sorry, but I can't go tonight! I have stuff to do!"

"As do I," said Sasuke tonelessly.

"Aww, come on! It'll be great! We'll go to Chouji's favourite barbeque place, and my sister told me about this club that's supposed to be really awesome, and tonight they have dancers! You don't wanna miss it!"

"U-Um, and Ch-Chouji will be very pleased if you go…" Hinata said quietly, finally looking Naruto in the eyes using what looked like a large amount of willpower. Feeling sorry for her (and still oblivious as to why she was always nervous around him), he jumped forward and grabbed her hands in his, making her squeak and blush all the way out to her ears.

"I really want to go, but I can't! I really do have something important to do! I'm so sorry Hinata! Say sorry to Chouji from me, okay?" Only when he finally got a jerky nod out of the flustered girl did he release her. "Anyway, Sasuke-bastard will go! He doesn't have anything to do tonight!"

"Don't assume, moron."

"Aww, come on! Pleeeeaaaase? You have to loosen up, and what better way to do it than to go to a club?"

"Naruto's right!" Kiba announced with a canine grin. "You need to get laid!" Hinata promptly fell over, Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and Naruto started laughing loudly. "What? It's true!"

"Yeah!" Naruto turned to peer at Sasuke with big eyes. "Come on, Sasuke. For me?" For a long moment they just stood there, Sasuke staring back with that funny look in his eyes that he only had around Naruto, and then the Uchiha gave a 'fine' sigh. "Woo! Good on you Sasuke!" The avenger was rewarded with another slap on the back. "Get the details, okay! You guys have fun! I'm gonna go find Iruka! I'm hungry!" And with a quick salute he was dashing off in the direction of the Academy.


"Mm!"

He had just finished his eighth bowl of ramen and was feeling good. With a happy sigh he leaned back as far as he could without toppling the stool over, grinning over at a softly smiling Iruka. "Thanks for the food, Iruka-sensei! I haven't had Ichiraku's in ages."

The scarred Chunnin raised an eyebrow. "We came here two days ago."

"Exactly!"

This proclamation startled a laugh out of Iruka, and the teacher grinned at him, reaching out a hand as though to ruffle his hair and then stopping short as he remembered the hat. "You're still wearing that, Naruto?"

The Genin in question chuckled nervously, one hand rising to rub the back of his neck. "Ah, yeah! My hair still looks reeeally stupid!" Seeing Iruka's knowing look, he quickly drew his hand back into his lap and grinned rather nervously. "Um, anyway! Thanks for the ramen! I have to go now, bye!" And he was off.

When he reached his apartment it was eight o'clock, so he quickly changed into casual clothes (faded blue jeans and a plain back t-shirt) and strolled nonchalantly to work, trying to blend in and not catch the attention of any patrolling ninjas. He was disappointed that he couldn't be there for Chouji's party, but he would make Sasuke tell him everything tomorrow. He couldn't imagine Sasuke actually heeding him and Kiba and having sex – that would be so… weird. Or something. The thought of it made him feel sort of like he did after drinking week-old milk. Anyway. What a funny coincidence that the club the others were going to for Chouji's birthday had dancers tonight too…

He arrived at the back of the club at eight thirty on the dot and gave the door three sharp knocks before standing back and waiting for Hatori to let him in. Soon enough, the big door creaked open and Naruto was greeted by a cheerfully grinning Hatori. The nineteen year old was dark and lithe, a head taller than the blonde, with short dark hair that he parted to the side, dark eyes and wraith-pale skin. Naruto thought he looked like a poor mans Sasuke. His appearance, however, definitely didn't match his personality.

"'Ruto-chan! You came!" He was grabbed by the wrist and dragged into the dimly-lit building before being pulled into a fierce hug.

Chuckling slightly at his co-worker, Naruto hugged him back lightly. "Of course I did, 'Tori-chan. I come every Wednesday!"

"I'm just happy to see you, 'Ruto-chan! Come on; let's get you out of that stupid thing!" And he promptly tore Naruto's hat off and then started tugging at his shirt. Knowing better than to get in the way of the teenager, Naruto simply lifted up his arms and watched as Hatori threw the shirt and hat into a corner of the room, grinning like mad. "Pants now!"

This was one thing Naruto would never agree to, even if he knew the flamboyant teenager was only being what he thought of as 'friendly.' "'Tori…"

Hatori pouted. "Well, it was worth a try. I don't know why you bother though 'Ruto-chan, your outfit is so skimpy anyway! I've seen so much of you already!"

"Yeah, well you can look, but you can't touch!" Naruto said firmly, crossing his arms and watching as Hatori pouted even more exaggeratedly. Then the two grinned at each other and laughed uproariously as they made their way to the changing room.

By eight fifty they were prepared for the opening of the bar at nine. While Hatori went out to talk at the bartender Naruto surveyed himself in the floor length mirror. He didn't look radically different, but he certainly wasn't easily recognisable. His hair was dyed a red similar to that of Gaara's, but his was fractionally brighter. Coloured contact lenses turned his eyes a bright, poisonous green and makeup applied meticulously by Hatori covered up his whisker marks. The idea was that people would focus on the brightness of his hair and eyes instead of his familiar face.

Tonight he was wearing his normal 'Cowboy' outfit. He wore knee-high light brown leather cowboy boots with spurs at the heels that jingled slightly when he walked. Faded blue denim short shorts, the hems purposefully ripped, covered him only just enough to make sure he wasn't flashing. The outfit was topped off by a tight white wifebeater that had been ripped short so it ended just above his belly button, revealing a fair amount of the V of his abs. The outfit probably would have looked even more fitting with his natural blonde hair and blue eyes but it wasn't like he looked bad. The patrons definitely seemed to approve of him, judging by the amount of tips he received.

Naruto and Hatori amused themselves in the back rooms, talking and playing cards, waiting until nine thirty when they would start their shifts, which was until midnight on Wednesday. When the time came they walked to the door and Naruto tweaked his outfit as Hatori did the same to his black leather and mesh one, the clothes along with his look and some thick eyeliner giving him a very goth feel. With all those features and his lanky frame, he looked like a half-starved bondage slave. Naruto was his opposite, the cheery and cheeky sun-bronzed, pseudo-wholesome farm boy, and together they could cater to most of the clientele.

Naruto opened the door, swaggering into the crowded club and swinging his hips whilst Hatori slunk out behind him, the very fact that he was trying to 'sneak' making him noticeable (as planned.) As he strode through the crowd a path was cleared for him that led straight to his table, and he gave a foxy grin in thanks.

He reached his table, which was just like every other small, dark wooden table in the room, except his wasn't varnished and had a gleaming pole built through the middle. There was one chair pushed underneath that he could use to step up, but he ignored it and instead glanced to one side, looking through his lashes with a sultry smile at the men that stood there, watching him raptly.

"Would one of you like to help me up?" he purred, just a hint of tongue poking out from between pouted lips. There was a pause, and then one large man, obviously well-muscled under his tight shirt, stepped forward with a leer. The other men watched closely, jealous, as he wrapped large hands around Naruto's lithe waist and picked him up like he weighed nothing, setting him on the tabletop. Naruto let the man keep his hands at his waist for a few moments too long, and just as he was sure that the man was about to break the rules and do some touching (it was an unspoken rule that everyone could look but no-one was allowed to touch) he gave a roll of his hips, causing the mans' grip to loosen, and then stepped forward out of the circle of his arms, throwing a wink over his shoulder as he slid his hands up the pole.

And then the next song came on, the normal lights were turned off and the strobe ones and the blue ones that illuminated the bar were turned on - it was business as usual. There was no sort of routines that they had, no real signature moves. The owner was always saying that anything went, as long as it was sexy.

It was around eleven thirty, and Naruto was swinging his hips in short bursts to Rihanna's Pon De Replay, when the door was opened and seven just-legal boys made their way inside. He had just stamped one boot, the spur giving a short jingle, and then dropped into a hip roll (much to the pleasure of the men he was currently facing) and was starting to swing his hips to the beat again when he heard the familiar voice with his Kyuubi-enhanced ears.

"Holy shit, it's a GAY BAR?!"

Oh, fucking hell.

"Kiba, you idiot! How could you not have realised?!"

Holy shit on a shit sandwich. That was Neji… and he was willing to bet Chouji's whole birthday group was here too. After all the trouble he had gone to, to keep his secret a secret! Thankfully, even as his brain ran around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off, his body moved for him. He was glad he'd danced to this song a few times before. He hooked one leg around the pole he was facing and jerked his pelvis to the beat so he was pretty much humping the thing, sliding gradually around the pole to the right until he had a good view of the doorway, which was deserted as all the patrons were packed in close to their favourite dancer. Keeping his eyes lidded, he peered through his lashes.

Sure enough, there all seven of them were: Chouji, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji, Sasuke, Shino and Lee. They were all wearing expressions of shock (barring Shino, who had the emotional capacity of a small rock.) As the shock wore off, Shikamaru just rolled his eyes and muttered his catchphrase, Kiba and Lee looked terrified, Chouji was still gaping, and Sasuke and Neji were… looking at him?

He breathed out a curse. Of course the two boys that possessed Doujutsu's must have noticed him, or at least thought he looked familiar. After all, users of the Sharingan and the Byakugan excelled at spotting the smallest of details whether or not they were actually using their kekkai-genkai. Deciding that it was a good idea to turn his face away, he stepped swiftly around the pole, sliding sweaty hands slowly down it as the song trailed off. He took some long, deep breaths in the short pause between that and the next song, both to cool off and to calm down. All he could do now was carry on and pray that they would just dismiss him, due to the fact that it was so unlikely for the straight and rather perverted (not to mention clumsy) Naruto to be a dancer in a gay bar. No-one knew he was gay (he himself hadn't known until Ero-sennin, an expert in such things, had pretty much beat him into accepting it) and he liked it that way.

The Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up started thumping through the speakers, and Naruto gave a quiet sigh of relief. This was a song that he knew and liked – all the better to help him focus only on the music and ignore certain unwanted visitors. It worked for a while, losing himself easily in the beat of the music and the throb of the strobe lights, but during the slower middle part of the song, as he body rolled slow and sensual with his back against the pole, throwing his head back and exposing the glistening expanse of his throat, he caught a flash of white out of the corner of his eye. It took him a bit to realise that it was Neji's eye – they were still here? Shouldn't they have run away screaming by now?! As the song reverted back to its original tempo he turned so that he was griping the pole tightly, resting his forehead on it with lips slightly parted against the gleaming metal, eyes half-lidded. He slowly circled his hips, switching directions with the beat, trying not to be obvious about the fact that he was searching the club for his friends.

Kiba, Chouji, Lee and Shikamaru were all taking refuge at the bar, relatively free from the churning mass of bodies that were the patrons of the nightclub. A bag of chips had appeared in Chouji's hand somehow, and he was stuffing them down his throat as though he hadn't eaten for weeks – comfort food. Shikamaru was slowly sipping at a bottle of beer as he watched with a glint of amusement in his eyes as Kiba downed shots and forced Lee to do the same.

Next Naruto looked in Neji's direction and found the boy watching him. Not his eyes, but his body. Naruto was well past of the point of being self-conscious nowadays, but the fact that it was a close friend watching him almost hungrily (and since when was Neji even gay?), well – that was a tad unsettling. And standing beside him, watching Naruto with equal if not more intensity, was Sasuke in all his lily-white skinned and hair-so-black-it-was-blue glory. Startled by his own thoughts, Naruto's eyes blinked fully open whilst he was still looking in the bastard's direction. Huge mistake.

For a moment they just stared at each other, Naruto's hip rolls turning into rather clumsy pelvic thrusts under the scrutiny. After what felt like an eternity Sasuke's lips twitched into a smirk and as Naruto watched in horror as the damn Uchiha mouthed the word 'Dobe' at him.

He was frozen in horror as Galvanise by The Chemical Brothers started playing, and Neji was looking between him and Sasuke with an expression of shock as he realised just who the red-headed dancer was. The damn Uchiha was still smirking at him, and Naruto gaped for a little while more before deciding that he would confront Sasuke later, preferably whilst not dressed in his skimpy outfit.

A song later the lights were turned on again, the DJ making the track fade slowly out. This time Naruto stepped down using the chair, making sure that his legs looked as long and graceful as possible as he did so. He strode towards the back of the club, grinning and tossing winks at the men he passed. When he was finally out of the suddenly cloying atmosphere of the dance floor he heaved a sigh, leaning back against the closed door as he hung his head, breathing slowly. Usually he had fun at work, but the night had just been plain stressful.

When he felt that the strength had returned to his limbs he pushed himself away from the door, heading into his own small room which contained all the supplies he needed to dismantle his outfit. Shutting the door behind him, he sat in front of the vanity and took his contacts out, putting them back in their case while he ran warm water into the sink. He was just dampening a flannel in preparation for taking off his makeup when the door swung open. Expecting Hatori, he turned around with a smile on his face, which fell when he saw his visitor.

It was strange to see Sasuke in normal clothing. He wore tight black jeans, black trainers and a navy button up shirt, loose at the collar to reveal a V of milky pale skin. The gay pirate costume was long gone. Any of the patience Naruto may have possessed was long gone, too. Why the hell had Sasuke bothered to follow him here when he was just gonna stand and stare?

"Well, what do you want, bastard? Gonna blackmail me or something? Talk!" Usually he didn't really care about it, but right now Sasuke's stoic tendencies were really pissing him off. "If you're not gonna say anything, just get the fu-"

His words were cut off when a pair of lips met his.

For a few long seconds he just stood there, frozen, as Sasuke slowly leaned away, eyes dark and unreadable. He opened his mouth, and then closed it and gulped, completely at a loss as to what one was supposed to do or say after suddenly being kissed by their life long rival.

"S-S-Sasuke?" His rather hysterical thought was that channelling Hinata seemed to be the way to go. Maybe he could write a handbook.

"Naruto." His name was breathed out, purred against his lips, and he shivered at the sound of that sultry voice wrapped around his own name. In his peripheral vision he saw Sasuke taking the wet flannel from the vanity before feeling the slightly rough material against his cheeks. He stood absolutely still as Sasuke slowly washed all of the makeup off his face, as though the Uchiha was a skittish wild animal that would run off if he so much as twitched. And then all the tan makeup was gone and he let out a shaky breath as pale hands reached up to caress the marks decorating his cheeks. "Better."

He gave a squeak as Sasuke swooped down and licked him, tracing each mark slowly with a gentle tongue as hands grabbed onto his hips. His breath was coming out in little pants, groin tightening uncomfortably as his head spun, brain unable to process what was happening. It was all too sudden, too unbelievable, but his vocal cords weren't working at the moment so it wasn't like he could actually voice any of his concerns. All too soon the tongue was drawn back into its owner's mouth, and Naruto was just about to demand Sasuke kept going when he paused, a blush hot on his cheeks. Since when had he started enjoying this anyway?!

Sasuke chuckled softly (presumably at the look on his face) before leaning in again. The kiss was as chaste as the last one, and Naruto was at once relieved and disappointed at the slow pace. It seemed Sasuke had decided he was disappointed because all too soon he felt something wet poking at his mouth and he opened without thinking, half-closed eyes shooting fully open in shock as he realised it was Sasuke's tongue.

Even though he had travelled around with Ero-sennin for so long and was thus exposed to a lot of things that a fifteen year old really shouldn't be, he had never seen the appeal of tonsil hockey. Why on earth would you want someone else's tongue in your mouth? And most of the time people seemed to drool all over their chins and get out of breath and it just looked really, really uncomfortable and unhygienic.

This was swiftly changing his opinion.

It was hot. His whole body felt like it was on fire as Sasuke's tongue licked into his mouth, sliding against his own as it quested further into him, the slight friction causing a mewl to fight its way out of his throat. He could vaguely feel Sasuke's hands buried in his hair, and somehow the image of that - pale hands clenching desperately at his bright locks - was surprisingly erotic. As he felt Sasuke's tongue sliding against his own once more, he gave himself over with a groan, moving his own appendage to hesitantly touch the Uchiha's as he flung his arms around Sasuke's neck. He could feel small dribbles of saliva running down his chin, but that was just a minor distraction as Sasuke opened his mouth wider, licking against his own tongue, slow, luxurious drags swiftly melting into desperate, dirty little kitten-licks. And then Sasuke sucked on his tongue and a strangled moan rumbled out of his chest at the same time that the Uchiha groaned out what sounded like a garbled version of his name.

The kiss went on and on, until Naruto, who hadn't yet mastered the art of breathing through his nose whilst kissing (maybe due to the fact that this was his first proper kiss), pushed Sasuke away and rested his forehead on the other boys shoulder, panting heavily, cheeks flushed and pupils dilated under his half-closed lids. Sasuke's hands lost their grip on his hair, the left migrating down to rest on his hip and the right curled around the back of the neck as they breathed in tandem.

After a short while Naruto found the strength to lift his head up, looking blearily over Sasuke's shoulder until his widening eyes fell upon a truly horrible sight. Neji stared right back at him, and judging by the flush on his cheeks he had been there for a while. There was movement behind him and Hatori's head popped into view over the Hyuuga's shoulder. For a moment he just gaped, and then his mouth lifted into a devious grin and he waggled his eyebrows at the red-faced Uzumaki.

Sasuke, probably feeling the sudden tension in Naruto's body, looked back over his own shoulder. The slight twitch of his body, which Naruto only felt because he was almost pressed against him, was the only sign that he was startled.

"What?" Naruto blinked at the possessive tone the growl held, feeling Sasuke's hands tighten their grip on him.

"That's… you're Naruto?"

A small nod.

"The dancer." The rest of Neji's words were lost to him as he saw Hatori, still looking over Neji's shoulder, miming giving a blowjob. Blushing to the very tips of his ears, Naruto looked down at Neji's feet, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. Was there such a thing as Invisibility No Jutsu?

Suddenly Neji's monologue was interrupted by a sharp slap, Naruto's head shooting up and Sasuke giving a quiet, evil little chuckle. Seeing the palm that was hovering by Hatori's side and the scandalised look the Hyuuga was giving him, Naruto could only assume his friend had done something horribly invasive. 'Tori-chan did have a small spanking fetish. Actually, he seemed to possess every fetish known to man, and also took unholy joy in wearing his bondage slave outfit.

"Come on pretty boy; let's give these two bunnies some room. Maybe you can ask them for a threesome after a while, when they feel that their sex life has gotten repetitive? You might have to wait a few years, though…" Neji's wrist was yanked into a firm grip, and as Sasuke and Naruto watched, the spluttering and red-faced Hyuuga was forcibly dragged away. "You can join that friend of yours, the one with the bugs. Actually, maybe I'll accept his proposition. I wonder what he can do with those things…" and Hatori left, slamming the door behind him, but not before making the two boys still in the back room feel thoroughly sick.

"I keep thinking of him as this harmless, flamboyant girly boy, and then I remember all his weird fetishes…"

"Shut up, dobe."

"Ah." And as he remembered the position they were in, what they'd just done and felt he saliva drying on his chin, his blush came back full force. "Ha ha, am I, um, ruining the mood?"

"Hn… I'm sure you can make it up to me, moron…" Naruto shivered as a tongue slid slowly up the shell of his ear. "Come with me."

How could he disagree?


The mood was definitely ruined.

They had finally reached Sasuke's front door, and in the time between the kiss (god, the kiss) and when they arrived Naruto had gotten progressively more nervous. What the hell were they even doing? Since when was Sasuke gay? Since when was Sasuke gay for him?

"Um, Sasuke?"

"What?" The lock clinked open, Sasuke not opening the door but instead glancing over his shoulder at Naruto.

"Ah…" Now that he had his attention, Naruto was at a lost as to how to continue. Sasuke sighed at his bewildered expression, pushing the door open.

"I want you."

"E-Eh?!" The blush was back full force.

"Look, Naruto…" Sasuke's cheeks were slightly pink, "I've liked you for a long time. And now that I know you're definitely gay, I can finally have you. Be with you. If you don't want this, tell me now or just shut up and get in here."

He blinked. "Wow Sasuke, that's the longest thing you've said to me in three years!" A huge, stupid grin found its way onto his face, and Sasuke rolled his eyes at him as he led them into the house.

"Idiot, you've been away for three years."

"Exactly!" He laughed boisterously for a moment, and when he met Sasuke's eyes again the Uchiha had an expression on his face that could be described as a fond half smile. It was sort of creepy (because it was so unusual) but mostly nice.

"You haven't changed…" and before he could work out if that was a compliment or an insult, he was grabbed by the wrist and dragged into Sasuke's house. As soon as the door was slammed shut he was rammed up against the wall, the passion from before suddenly returning twofold as Sasuke's mouth crashed into his and the pale body pressed flush up against his own tan. After the Uchiha had devoured his mouth for a while and he was mewling and panting with his pleasure, dazed and flushed, Sasuke jerked his hips forward and Naruto had to rip his lips away so he could let out a cry, stars bursting behind his eyelids.

Sasuke's grip on his hips was so tight that he was sure there'd be bruises tomorrow as the Uchiha panted heavily, head bowed, and rocked into him again. This time they both groaned at the friction, and Sasuke kept moving his hips in vicious circles against Naruto's in some strange parody of the dancing that the blonde had been doing earlier in the night, nibbling and sucking on the long stretch of tan neck as he did so.

"A-Ah, Sa-Sas'ke, 'm so close…"

And the Uchiha promptly detached himself. His eyes shot open, and Sasuke smirked as the 'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??' came through loud and clear.

"Naa, dobe… I'll get you off soon enough." Naruto found himself being dragged around again and thrown backwards onto a double bed, landing with limbs splayed wide, panting. He stared up at Sasuke who was watching him hungrily, pale cheeks flushed and lips swollen. "I love your outfit. Save a horse, ride a cowboy, right?"

Naruto was well past the point of being embarrassed. "You said you would get me off, so do it already, bastard."

"Undress." The word was an order. Naruto had always known Sasuke had a superiority complex, but damn. Still, he decided his best course of action would be to comply. Huffing, he stood up on slightly shaky legs and took off his singlet, throwing it at the Uchiha's head with a smirk which dropped into a scowl when the asshole dodged it. He was reaching down to take off his boots when he received his next order (that bastard.) "No, you can keep those on." Sasuke was positively leering now. A blush was once again on his face as he took off his short shorts instead, trying to pretend that he was alone. It worked when the shorts got stuck on the metal spurs, and after struggling for a bit, growling curses, he just ripped the damn things off and straightened up to look at the still-clothed Sasuke.

"Why am I the only one naked?" he whined, resisting the urge to cover himself up as Sasuke stared. "Look at my face, asshole!"

"Because I'm the seme, of course."

"YOU WHAT-" his shout turned into a strangled gasp as the Uchiha snaked a hand around his erection. "Who said – haa – that you could be seme?"

"Don't worry dobe; I'll still respect you afterwards." The bastard was smirking again.

"You are – nngh – such a dick." Sasuke pumped him smoothly, thumb slowly circling around the head as he leaned in, latching onto his neck. He found the pulse point and gave it a lick before lightly biting, worrying the skin in-between his teeth as Naruto moaned. By the time Sasuke pulled back a sizeable bruise had been created and he was putty in the Uchiha's hands.

Leaving him panting on the bed, Sasuke walked off somewhere, but he was too breathless to complain. Less than a minute later he was back, this time fully undressed and holding a tube of some sort in his hand. Naruto felt his whole body flush as every inch of the pale skin was bared to him. Sasuke stared back at him for a moment until getting on the bed, crawling up between his splayed legs. There was no warning before he felt a lubed finger making its way into his ass, causing him to tense up at the new, uncomfortable sensation. His breath sped up as the finger inched in further, and in one moment of hysteria he imagined Sasuke with five metre-long fingers on each hand.

Just as the feeling was about to become truly painful Sasuke swooped down to lay the tiniest of licks right on his slit. Even that small sensation sent shocks through his hypersensitive body, and he gave a gasp, back arching, which caused the finger to slip in entirely and start moving around as Sasuke stretched him more. Again he felt like he was about to reach the point of pain and again Sasuke gave his dick the tiniest of touches, a feather-like run of his fingers along the underside. A second finger was slowly inserted in beside the first one, the Uchiha lightly dragging one fingernail around the head of his cock to offset that bit of almost-pain. They continued on in the same fashion until Sasuke was scissoring his fingers and Naruto felt his brain had melted as he thrashed around, knuckles white as he gripped the sheets.

Apparently finally satisfied that Naruto was well stretched, Sasuke slid his fingers out of Naruto's hole and crawled up to take part in a messy, wet kiss, both of them flushed and panting, eager for the main event. With what looked like a gargantuan amount of effort, Sasuke pushed up and off the bed, dragging a weakly protesting Naruto with him, the spurs on his boots jingling as he stumbled against Sasuke, who led him over to an armchair set against the bedroom wall and then promptly sat on it, legs spread and flushed erection standing out starkly against his pale belly

"W-What are you doing, Sas'ke?" His question was sort of answered when Sasuke grabbed his hips and dragged him so he was almost straddling the Uchiha.

"I want you… to ride me." Sasuke's voice was low and husky, a flush high on his cheekbones, chest rising and falling rapidly as he panted. Naruto blinked, his hazy mind taking a little while to comprehend.

Nodding, he let Sasuke guide him into position with the hands that were still on his hips. Legs straining a bit, he lowered himself slowly down, giving a sharp intake of air when he felt the tip of Sasuke's cock against his entrance. He moaned and rocked so that it slid along his wet crack, the Uchiha giving a loud gasp of his own before grabbing his hips to still him and sliding just the head of his dick into Naruto's hot passage. They both moaned, panting breaths warming each others faces, and then Sasuke continued slowly lowering him down.

He was only half-filled by Sasuke's cock when he panted out a strangled 'stop!' The Uchiha froze and Naruto took deep breaths, getting slowly accustomed to the feeling of being stretched around somebody else's dick. After a little while he steeled himself and with a harsh motion impaled himself completely, the two groaning in unison as hot muscle engulfed hard, pulsing flesh. Clutching at Sasuke's shoulders he took deep breaths, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He knew Sasuke was holding back, and for that he was grateful. Being stretched for the first time was an… interesting experience.

"H-Haa, Dobe, c-can I move?"

In answer to Sasuke's near-desperate question Naruto braced his boots on the floor either side of the chair and gave a small rock of his hips. He still wasn't sure how he felt – judging by the way Sasuke gave a strangled moan, though; the Uchiha was definitely enjoying it. Deciding to experiment a bit, he shifted around, trying different angles, until the head of Sasuke's cock pressed onto something deep inside of him that caused bolts of pleasure to surge throughout his body and a moan to fall from his lips. He levered himself up, spurs clinking as he shifted his feet, until only the head of Sasuke's cock was inside of him and then he fell back down almost viciously, Sasuke shouting out his pleasure and Naruto mewling desperately.

He moved his hips in small, hard circles, finding a rhythm where he ground down after every full revolution. Sasuke's head was thrown back as he panted and moaned at the sensations, and if he wasn't so out of breath Naruto would have made his mark on that pale, unblemished stretch of skin. He shifted himself a little and rocked down once again, crying out as the new position caused Sasuke's cock to not just graze against that spot that sent sensation rocketing through his body but press directly on it. Sasuke looked at him again, and Naruto saw himself reflected in the dark eyes, cock bobbing with every movement, boot-clad tan legs long and graceful as he slammed his hips down to meet Sasuke's thrust once more.

Panting and whimpering, he leant towards the Uchiha, desperately wanting to kiss him but knowing that he would probably suffocate. He compromised, just his tongue emerging to stroke against Sasuke's in mid air. He heard Sasuke's breath speed up even more, crying out and throwing his head back as he gave a vicious thrust into his tight channel, strings of saliva forming and breaking between them as Sasuke gave a long moan of his name. The sound of his own name falling from those lips and the feeling of warmth that bloomed inside of him as Sasuke climaxed sent him over the edge, and he came on Sasuke's stomach as he stuttered out the other boys' name.

Gasping, Naruto leaned forward, slumping bonelessly against Sasuke, who lifted a heavy hand and ran it slowly through his red spikes before placing a chaste kiss on his lips. Smiling at the small actions, he sighed in content as his heartbeat slowed and his limbs regained some of their strength. After they had both rested he got slowly to his feet, Sasuke's limp, come-covered cock slipping easily from his body, trickles of come slowly making their way down the insides of his thighs. What with the dancing, the confessions and the sex, Naruto was beyond exhausted and collapsed face first onto the bed, careful not to put any pressure on his aching ass.

A few seconds later he felt the bed dip down and an arm fling itself over his torso. He turned his head to see a smiling Sasuke, and gave him a lopsided grin back. It wasn't long however, before Sasuke's kind smile morphed into his usual smirk.

"You're mine now, dobe."

"Eh?!"

"So you can't work at that club anymore."

"But-"

"Don't worry; I have enough money to provide for my wife."

"WIFE?!"

"You'll just have to give me private dances from now on."

"YOU-"