Set pre-series. Sam is seventeen and Dean is twenty-one.
Summary: His wound was open. Her blood flowed in. Sam gets sick, really sick. HIV sick. What are the brothers going to do when one of the dynamic duo is down… permanently? Sam is seventeen and Dean is twenty-one.
Rating: T for Teen
Warnings: Language, deals with deadly illness.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. I've never owned Supernatural. There is an excellent chance that I will never own Supernatural. Please don't sue. I also don't own the song featured at the beginning of the story. They belong to their respective artists.
Author's Note: Thank you for all the positive reviews. I'm glad that you guys thought that I approached the subject with the sensitivity it deserves. Please keep the feedback coming!
This is also a pretty short chapter. Blame it on my "Grapes of Wrath" final exam and my biology test Tuesday. But think of it this way, shorter chapters means I can update faster!
My Body Is A Cage
Chapter Two: Hurt
I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away but I remember everything. What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair. Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair.
Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear. You are someone else. I am still right here. What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. If I could start again, a million miles away, I would keep myself. I would find a way.
-Nine Inch Nails
Doctor Abraham took a deep breath. "This is never easy, especially when dealing with someone as young as Sam. The test results came back about twenty minutes ago. Sam, you tested positive for HIV."
Dean's heart dropped and Sam gasped.
"What?" Dean's voice went high and he cringed when he heard it.
"Sam is HIV positive," the doctor repeated. "I'm sorry."
Sam made a strangled noise deep in his throat before he put his hands over his eyes, sobbing.
This snapped Dean out of his stupor and he joined his younger brother in the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around him.
"It'll be okay, Sammy. It'll be okay," he looked at the doctor. "How did this happen?"
"If it wasn't from sexual contact, then probably through blood. Have you been close to any blood or had an open wound lately, Sam?"
Sam lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot from crying and his nose red. "Yeah, I have."
"Could your brother somehow have been close to the infected blood?"
The seventeen-year old shook his head. "N-No. It was just me. I just," Sam choked through his tears. "I didn't know that she was. If… If I did… I'm so sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry."
"No," Dean said harshly, forcing Sam to look at him in the eye. "No, Sam. It's not your fault. Like you said, you didn't know."
The doctor looked at the brothers, pity clearly showing in his green eyes. He'd been a doctor for more than half of his life now but it never got any easier. Never. Breaking terrible news like this was so hard, especially when talking about someone as young as Sam. He had his whole life ahead of him, worry-free teenage life, and now it was burdened on his shoulders.
"I'll leave you two alone. When your father comes, I'll redirect him to your room so you guys can have a talk with him. Please press the nurse button if you have any questions or concerns you need to tell me. Later on this afternoon, we'll talk more about options, okay?"
Dean nodded, Sam's head on his chest. He could feel his brother's deep, unsteady breaths on his skin. He rubbed the boy's back in circles in an effort to comfort him.
"We'll get Dad to come fix this, okay? He'll make everything better."
"He-he can't, Dean! He can't!"
"Of course he can, Sammy. He's Dad for goodness sakes. He can fix it!"
As if on cue, John Winchester entered the hospital room, eyes wild. He sighed audibly in relief when he saw that his youngest son was awake and, though a little pale, looking healthy.
"What's going on?" John's gruff voice demanded.
Dean swallowed, looking at Sam to ask if he wanted to break the news to their father. Sam shook his head, not making eye contact with John.
"Sam's sick, Dad. Really, really sick."
John furrowed his brow in confusion. "What do you mean?"
There was an awkward pause.
Seeing that Dean wouldn't, or rather couldn't, say it, Sam took the few bits of courage he had left and said, "I have HIV, Dad. I got HIV."
"What?" John's voice did what it always did when he was concerned or worried about his boys. It got loud and angry, threatening.
"He has HIV."
"Dean, shut up! Sam," he turned towards Sam. "How the hell did this happen? How could you be so stupid? Damn it! Haven't you ever used a fucking condom or something?"
This brought out the 'big brother' instinct in Dean. "Dad, be quiet. He didn't get it from having sex! He got it because one of your stupid hunts, a victim's blood got into his bloodstream! You're the reason that he's sick!"
The moments the words left his lips, the twenty-one year old knew that he shouldn't have said that. He didn't even have to look at Sam's shocked look or his father's sad, almost resentful, face either. He just knew it.
"How dare you talk to me that way? I'm your father!"
"And he's my brother!"
"Guys," Sam said so softly that it was amazing that his two family members could hear him. "Please just be quiet for a second. I'm sick. It's really bad, I get it. I could… I could die, I know. So just… stop arguing for one second! Please! I hate having to be the mature one."
John and Dean muttered an apology before getting back to business.
"Where's your doctor, Sam?"
"I don't know." Sam said quietly.
"I'll go get him," Dean volunteered, patting Sam on the shoulders lightly before getting up. "I'll be back in a second."
They nodded and Dean left the room.
"You okay, Sammy?" John asked tenderly, sitting on the foot of Sam's bed.
Sam shrugged. "I think so. I'm tired and a little sore. I'm just trying to wrap my arms around the situation. It's really big."
John felt himself choking up. "Yeah, yeah, it really is."
Tears welled up in Sam's eyes again. "I'm going to die from this, aren't I?"
John shook his head furiously. "No! No, Sammy, you're not! You'll make it through just fine. You'll… I'll find someone to make this better. I'm sure Bobby or Pastor Jim will know someone who can make this go away. Maybe even Caleb. Okay?"
Sam nodded, pulling a blanket over his shoulder, shivering a little.
"Are you cold?"
"Just a little."
John got up, clearing his throat. "I'll go see if I can get you an extra blanket, alright?"
Before John left, he turned towards his son, unshed tears glistening in his eyes. "You're going to be just fine, Sammy.
"I promise," John confirmed. "I promise."
End of Chapter One
That was incredibly short and I'm a little disappointed with it to be honest with you. I don't think I write confrontations too well because I'm always afraid that I'll go overboard with the exclamation points. Please tell me your thoughts, feedback and concerns in a review. Reviews make me happy inside and encourage me to keep writing and working through writer's block.
I'll respond to everyone who reviews if I can find the email address.
Also, happy Valentine's Day everyone!