Title: An Apple a Day

Author: hyperRme

Summary: An apple a day keeps the doctor away… but if the doctor is cute forget the fruit. L turns this into his Moto when he is forced to see doctor Raito because of his sugar only diet. As he pursues the doctor, L learns that the murderer he is trying to catch is after Raito's life.

Genre: Romance/Crime/Humor/Angst/Drama/Horror/Friendship/General/Mystery/Everything. But mainly romance. Lots of romance.

Rated: Mature

Pairing: L X Raito

Disclaimer: Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. I am neither one.

Warnings: Yaoi. Boy loving boy. If you don't like it, don't complain to me how I somehow magically forced you to read it and now you're sending me nasty messages. No spoilers to Death Note itself. Mikami will be making a presence later on but no spoilers to whom exactly he is. I do mention L's real name so if you've miraculously searched through FFnet and have yet to see it, I don't want to spoil that for you unlike the majority of us.

There will be mention of blood, guts, and torture. There is a murderer running loose. If you're not into that, please hold your stomach. But that's later.

I also bring up different kinds of illnesses. By no means am I jesting at anyone who has any of the medical illnesses later mentioned. I have one of the illnesses and although I laugh at myself I would never do that to someone else. Please don't cry to me how I'm being cruel to people with the diseases. Because I'm not.

Please enjoy and leave a review!!

Breakfast: Strawberry shortcake, two cinnamon buns with extra icing, three muffins, and coffee with twenty sugar cubes for extra energy.

Snack: One pound chocolate bar.

Lunch: Bowl of chocolate truffles, cheesecake, six chocolate chip cookies, a croissant, pack of gummy bears and tea with thirteen sugar cubes.

Snack: Giant lollipop

Dinner: Tiramisu, two pieces of Chocolate German cake, three sugar cookies, two cupcakes and more coffee, nine sugars.

Snack: Koala March cookies

Dessert: Five scoop ice cream with chocolate fudge, caramel, sprinkles, whipped cream, peanut butter, butterscotch, chocolate chips, and Oreo crumbs. Drowned down by a chocolate milkshake.

Next day: Repeat.

Watari sighed watching his young master L Lawliet clutch his stomach in pain, moaning as if he had never felt such agony before.

He had warned him…

"Master Ryuuzaki…" Watari said calmly, placing medicine and water on the table to help ease the pain, although he knew L wouldn't drink the water for its lack of sugar and taste. "Your sugar intake is going through the roof. You are going to get extremely sick and develop diabetes if you continue this way."

As expected L pushed away the glass of water and took the pill with his sugar saturated coffee. "I cannot think straight without sugar, you know that Watari. This case is extremely difficult. There is a psychopathic killer out there who is kidnapping young women and men from nightclubs throughout Japan and is performing surgery on them while they're alive and conscious and letting them bleed to death. Sugar is an upmost necessity with a case like this," L groaned yet again as his stomach rebelled against the coffee. "I will be… ugh… fine."

The elder gentleman sighed, knowing it would come to this. Being L's advisor, he knew all of the detective's quirks, habits and attitudes. Two examples of such is his love of sugar to an unhealthy extreme and his stubbornness. He worried terribly over his health and but they couldn't risk going to a doctor. They needed papers, documents, a name, and Watari couldn't handle any more fake identifications flying around.

Luckily, he had heard of a doctor not too far away from their building that specialized in everything from rare diseases, to broken bones, to simple common colds- he knew it all. And the best part was that he was an underground doctor, taking in whomever without a single question of their name. No medical background was necessary. All he needed was a few questions answered and he would be able to fix his patients to complete health.

Watari felt as if he were on cloud nine. L's identity wouldn't be discovered and his health would be restored. He had scheduled an appointment straight way, at the first sign of L's illness. From then the pain and suffering has only increased day by day.

With a quick check to the calendar, Watari noticed today was the appointment date he had scheduled two weeks ago. He had yet to tell L that he called a doctor for him and feared how he would respond. He guessed refusal was going to be the detective's tactic so Watari planned ahead.

"How about we go out and buy ice cream?" The old man suggested. "Car rides usually settle your stomach nicely and vanilla ice cream might help it as well."

L gave him a scrutinizing look, examining Watari's carefully placed poker face. Seeing no ill intentions, L nodded and gracefully hopped from his chair. "Let us go, Watari." Clutching his stomach, L passed the elder man and walked toward the garage, missing the smirk sent at his back.

L got suspicious after ten minutes in the car.

"Watari, this is not the way to the ice cream parlor. I had originally thought you had found a new one but this is a bit of a long trip for ice cream that could easily be found six minutes and thirty-four seconds from our head quarters. Where are you taking me?"

L heard the sound of the car doors locking. He pulled at the door handle to find it securely locked. With no way to open it from the backseat, he spun toward the window that showed into the driver's seat. "Watari, I demand to know where we are heading!"

Watari rolled up the separating window, leaving only a small section open for L to hear him answer, "Doctor" and closed it.

L banged on the window with his fists, terrified, "Watari! Watari!" L slumped down in the leather seat, knowing that all attempts of persuading the old man was futile. He clutched his stomach, letting out a pained moan.

Oh, how he hated doctors -ever since the first time he entered their cold office when he was to take the physical exam for entrance into the Whammy's Orphanage at the age of eight. Since he had been living on the streets for the past year and a half, he failed miserably. Luckily, his IQ alone was high enough for entrance. L was thrown on antibiotics and was prescribed to take at least twenty pills a day to regulate his body. A week later, L refused to take anymore drugs and vowed to never step foot inside a doctor's office again.

Luckily, the job "L" required hidden identities and isolation. No doctors will look at you without a medical background and a name they can look up and store. He couldn't afford to give out either.

L taunted life with the fact that he would not be allowed into doctor's office by eating his weight in sweets everyday day, not exercising (minus tennis), little to no sleep, and constantly working in a high stress zone.

Unfortunately, Fate has a terrible sense of revenge.

L stayed quiet the rest of the ride, his brain racking up escape plans and fruitless attempts to calm down his radical stomach.

Half an hour later, the car pulled into a nearly vacant parking lot with a simple looking office next to it.

L took a survey of his surroundings and sighed, distressed. The doctor's office was in the middle of a suburb. There were no tall buildings to hide in, no forest to escape into, only houses with lots of onlookers and witnesses.


Watari opened the backseat door, leaving it wide open for his escape. L knew the old man's pockets were stuffed with sedates and handcuffs, possibly a stun gun as well. He still kept the door open as if to say, "We'll do this the hard way or the easy way."

As much as L wanted to dash away, he couldn't bear the humiliation of being dragged in the office, bound and unconscious.

Frowning at the elder man, L stepped out of the car and slumped his way to the office, his hands twitching to caress his aching stomach.

Watari followed his young master, a small victory smile on his old, wrinkled face.

L bit his thumb in anticipation. He sat in one of the small examination cubicles incredibly bored, wishing he had a nice intellectual magazine. He had waited all of seven minutes and twenty-four seconds in the waiting room with nice intellectual magazines to read before a perky blonde nurse called him in. Watari told L to go ahead; he'll wait with those nice intellectual magazines. The nurse measured his height (five foot eight) and dropped him on the scale (one hundred and ten pounds). She scolded him for being so underweight and gave him a lecture why maintaining regular weight is good for the body.

L knew that she secretly envied him.

She shoved him into the cubicle after his ears were lectured to death. "Raito-sensei will be in soon," She giggled, slamming the door.

L tentatively crouched in his usual hunched position on the top of the examination table, the wax sheet crinkling with each slight movement. He gazed at the white walls and the shiny proud plaques. "Raito Yagami" they read in gold ink. There were no windows he noticed miserably and only one door. The cabinets and closets were most likely filled with so much medical equipment L wouldn't be able to squeeze in. He clutched at his stomach tighter, preparing for the worst.

There were two sharp raps at the door before it opened. "Welcome."

Enter God's gift to mankind wrapped up in a pristine white doctor's coat. Silky honey hair framed a soft creamy butterscotch ice cream colored face with sharp, melted caramel eyes and pink cotton candy colored lips, forming a small smile, just for L.

The rigid detective felt his heart jump for the sweet, sweet doctor.

L stared, practically drooling as the young doctor took a small rolling stool near the examination table, tapping the manila folder in his hands.

Doctor Yagami smiled sweetly at the detective but soon frowned. "Is that how you sit? That's not good for your back. You must have a terrible hunch when you stand."

"I must sit this way, doctor-sensei," L responded, using up all his energy to resist the urge to spring upon the lean doctor, "Or else my reasoning ability will be cut by forty percent."

The doctor gave him a stern, and incredibly delicious, look. "I highly doubt that is the case but we will talk about that later, I suppose. My name is Doctor Raito Yagami and what is your name?"

"Ryuuga Hideki," L unconsciously licked his lips at the doctor's name.

"Well, Hideki-san, your grandfather called you in, I believe. What brings you here this lovely Tuesday?"


Yagami-sensei raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? Nothing?"

"That is what I said, Yagami-sensei."

"I believe you are lying to me, Hideki-san," The doctor's cotton candy lips forming a smirk, "Your grandfather mentioned over the phone that not only do you eat twice your weight in junk food everyday but you also don't exercise, fail to eat your daily source of vitamins, refuse to have a normal sleeping pattern and are constantly under stress due to work."

"Sounds like a splendid life style to have, doctor."

"Not if you want to die early or develop diabetes, it isn't," He retorted, pushing the honey colored hair away from his face. "It's not all that complicated, Hideki-san. Just eat the foods on the list I will hand you later and you'll feel better in no time. Now, shirt off."

L let out a fake surprised yet eager gasp, "Doctor! I never knew you felt that way! I couldn't! We've just met!"

Yagami-sensei looked as if he wanted, oh so desperately, to smack him upside the head. "No, you pervert. I need to check your heartbeat and lungs."

"I'm a… pervert?" L asked naively, taking off his shirt and tossing it to the carpet flooring. Yagami-sensei pushed down L's curled up legs and leaned in, his warm breath fanning his face. L desperately craved to move closer. The doctor pressed his cold stethoscope to his chest, causing him to squirm. "It's cold."

"You'll get used to it," Yagami-sensei responded, not particularly caring if the metal was freezing cold or scorching hot and continued to move the metal closer to his patient's heart. L felt himself blush at the closeness of the irresistibly delectable doctor. "Your heart is beating quite fast. Nervous?"

"Of course not. Why would I be?" L asked in a monotone voice. The doctor shrugged and moved to his back.

He had a 'tsk' noise. "Look how terrible your back is. It's full of knots. I told you sitting like that is bad," He scolded, running a finger up L's spine. The raven haired detective squirmed even more. "Are you ticklish?" The doctor inquired, "You're moving around a lot."

"No, I am not ticklish," L said, secretly wishing Yagami-sensei would either back off from his personal bubble or jump him. He vouched for the latter action. The doctor pressed the stethoscope to L's back and told him to breathe in.

"Your heartbeat is regular…" He muttered and scribbled down notes with a black ballpoint pen, "Stand up and bend over."

"If Yagami-sensei wants sex, I should warn him that I shall be the dominant one in this relationship," L hopped off of the examination table and peered closely at the scrumptious doctor.

Yagami-sensei narrowed his caramel eyes, "Rest assures, Hideki-san, that was not my intention."

"Are you sure? I could show you a really…"

"Just do as you're told!" L sent him a wicked smile and bent over as far as he could.

"I know you want it, Yagami-sensei," He cooed, "I can see it in your eyes." The doctor ignored him easily enough and ran a finger down L's exposed spine. Against his wishes, the detective squirmed again.

"You seem to be very sensitive here, Hideki-san," He sounded smug, "Are you not used to being touched here often?"

"Yagami-sensei can touch me there all he wants," He retorted. He received a snort in response. The doctor ran his finger up and down his spinal column three times before his other hand joined on his back. "Why is Yagami-sensei massaging my back?" L asked, trying his hardest to keep his monotone voice from quavering.

"It pains me as a doctor to see all the stress knots back here," He answered with a hard push on his back, "A massage would be good for you once in a while."

L was two seconds away from releasing an embarrassing moan when Yagami-sensei pulled his hands back, "Get on the examination table and lay stomach up."

Obeying, L climbed on the table and laid down, his back crinkling the noisy wax paper. His face threatened to glow red as the deliciously handsome doctor leaned over him, reminding L of those cheesy romance novels where the man would trap the woman between himself and a couch. He cursed mentally as he realized he compared himself to a woman. His mind rushed back to the cheesy romance novel when Yagami-sensei slowly and gently pressed a hand to his bare chest.

"Yagami-sensei… Ouch!" He cried as the supposed 'slow and gentle' hand jabbed quickly and sharply into his sore stomach.

"Hmm… that's no good," The doctor said, pressing on the sore spot again.

"This is quite unpleasant, sensei," L hissed.

"A healthy person's stomach wouldn't hurt," He pressed harder then moved to the each side and just below the sternum, jabbing with inhuman strength. Yagami-sensei stopped his torture five stabs later, writing in his manila folder with a disappointed shake of his head.

L sat back up quickly in case his doctor decided to poke him a few more times. Yagami-sensei walked across the room to the counter, searching through the cabinets. L thanked the gods that he did not believe in for the blessed sight of Raito Yagami's backside. If all the sweets he's consumed in his entire life time were to suddenly attack him at once, he could die a happy man.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end and Yagami-sensei turned around with a retinoscope, otoscope, and a large Popsicle stick, without the Popsicle. He flicked the light on in the retinoscope. The doctor leaned in close to L's face once again, shining the light in his eyes.

"So you're eyes aren't completely black after all," He mused, moving the light from one eye to the next, "They have little flecks of gray in them." He replaced the retinoscope with the otoscope and brushed back L's black hair from his ear. He bent forward, checking one ear and then the other, "Your ears aren't terrible." Yagami-sensei grabbed the Popsicle-less stick, "Say 'Ahh'."

L most certainly did not say 'Ahh' but he opened his mouth. The doctor placed the Popsicle-less stick on his tongue and pressed down, opening his mouth wider. After a short peak, the stick was removed from his mouth.

"One more thing…" Yagami-sensei muttered, tossing the Popsicle-less stick in the garbage and the retinoscope and the otoscope on the shelf. L jumped when he heard the sound of Velcro ripping. "Relax it's just a blood pressure cuff," He chuckled strapping his skinny arm to the cuff. At one end was a small rubber ball connected to the cuff by a rubber tube. "Just breathe regularly," He squeezed the ball and the cuff tightened. Yagami-sensei compressed the ball again and again until L felt his arm was about to explode. Suddenly, he stopped, letting the pressure slowly lessen, and he watched the meter as he counted under his breath.

The doctor freed his arm from the blood pressure cuff and L immediately rubbed the spot. "I can't believe you have perfect blood pressure with all the junk food your grandfather described to me."

"I guess I am just lucky."

"Lucky is what you could call it…" He placed the blood pressure cuff in a drawer under the cabinets and seated himself on his rolling stool. Yagami-sensei flipped open his manila folder and clicked his pen, "I have a few more questions for you. Do you have extreme thirst?"

"Cakes and cookies require lots of coffee and tea to drown them down and coffee and tea obtain the caffeine I need to work long hours. So I would not call it a necessity, just a desire."

"Do you have frequent urination?" He asked, writing with record shattering speed.

"Since I drink often, that would be a yes but I have a bladder of steal so I do not go often."

"That's not good for your bladder. You shouldn't just hold it in like that. Anyway, do you have unexplained weight loss? It does say here that you weigh one hundred and ten pounds."

"I have always been unnaturally underweight. This is not anything new. I have a very high metabolism."

"I would say so, there is no way possible someone can eat nearly ten thousand calories a day, not exercise and weigh one hundred and ten pounds. Do you have increasing hunger?"

"I am usually always hungry, Yagami-sensei. It has not increased at all."

"Tingling on your hands and feet?"

"My feet sometimes do because they have fallen asleep. They often do that when you sit like I do for nine hours at a time. My hands do not though."

After a moment of silence, Yagami-sensei sighed,"I'm not sure whether to have you test for diabetes or not," The doctor said, looking at his notes, "Every answer had a possible double-meaning."

"I do not think it is necessary for me to go through testing. My answers do not have double-meanings and I am perfectly healthy. If I were to somehow begin any of those symptoms I will be sure to call Yagami-sensei."

"Well, Hideki-san, your health is in jeopardy but if you act now I'm sure you can prevent some serious illnesses, such as diabetes. You need to watch out for those symptoms. I'll be kicking myself later for not testing you, so don't make me regret this," He handed the still shirtless L a note.

"A phone number?" L grinned, "Doctor, I thought you were a professional."

Yagami-sensei, this time, actually slapped his head. "Will you behave? Look at it. It's instructions for a healthier diet."

L opened the note, already feeling dread in his sore stomach. "Carrots? Cucumbers? SALAD?!" L stuck his tongue out in disgust. "What about fruits? They at least taste sweet."

"They're at the bottom of the list, see?" The doctor moved in close to the heart pounding detective, leaning over his shoulder, pointing to the list. "There's melon, strawberries, cherries, bananas…"

"Apples?" L asked, noticing the word at the very bottom of the list. The doctor nodded, moving back and collecting his folder. "The fruit of the forbidden? Of love and death? Yagami-sensei wants me to eat those?"

"Well, you know what they say: 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'." Yagami-sensei smiled radiantly at L, throwing him a wink. "Goodbye Hideki-san." And he closed the door.

L stared at the closed door where the only person he ever felt attracted to left so suddenly.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away…" He muttered. The detective ripped up the note the doctor had given him. L smirked, shoving the pieces of paper in his pocket and opened the door. He most certainly didn't want the delicious doctor away.

"But if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit."

I hope you've enjoyed this short prologue. It will get better and more exciting, I promise.