Fighting For You Love
A/N: I would like to dedicate this chapter to those who still are waiting for and reading this story, if there is anyone left. I cannot thank you enough for your patience and support!
Chapter 27. Rei
"Hey, Usako. How are you feeling?" The voice coming through the phone is filled with genuine worry.
"I'm fine, Mamo-chan, thank you," Usagi smiles but that smile doesn't touch her bright eyes. "How are you? A lot of work again?" She asks just in sake of asking something. So that Mamoru doesn't suspect something is wrong if she is too quiet.
"Um, as always," the good-natured voice chuckles softly. "Usual office fuss. But it's not why I'm calling you. Usako, are you really okay? When I left in the morning, your eyes were all red."
A cold wave washes over Usagi, and she can hear her heart thump like crazy.
She inhales deeply, exhales slowly and stretches her lips in a serene smile.
"Ah, that? Yes, everything's really fine, Mamo-chan! It must be some kind of allergy, that's all. I don't even know what it's for, I have never had anything like that! Oh, I know, it's an ecological disaster, that's what it is, right? What do you think, is it?" The girl fills her voice with ringing emotions on purpose, disguising the lifelessness that has been reigning inside of her for several days in row. "Maybe I should take vitamins? I will, but only if they are sweet!"
Mamoru's laugh comes from a distance. He believes her intonations, her coquetry. He believes her because he can't see her eyes now.
"I will buy you drops, spray and vitamins, you'll just need to wait till the evening, okay?"
His affection enwraps her heart almost palpably, and Usagi lets out a sincere smile, at last.
"You are the best, Mamo-chan! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She suddenly gets the urge to rush and get beside him. She wants Mamoru to hug her tight and kiss her on the forehead. Lately, his lips are so warm and his embraces are so tight. Her throat squeezes.
"Usako, baby, I'm sorry I have to go now," Mamoru sounds slightly disappointed. "Take a good care of yourself until I come, alright? I'll bring medicine in the evening and we will heal you completely. I love you, Odango."
His 'I love you…' echoes in her mind. Usagi doesn't even realize that she didn't say anything back. Something burns and stings behind her eyelids.
The princess grips her phone in her hand and stares at the wallpaper picture on the screen. There's Mamoru on it, half-turned and reaching out his hand to her with a smile. His dark hair is disheveled, the collar of his white shirt unbuttoned, he is painfully handsome and huggable. One has to be blind not to see the pure tenderness his eyes emanate.
Usagi slowly drags her fingertip across his broad smile and, heaving a sigh, puts her phone away.
She doesn't understand her own self. She feels good with Mamoru. So good actually as she had never felt before. Being with him feels warm and calm, he makes her feel safe and secure, makes her feel right. Mamoru loves her deeply and tenderly, just the way she had always dreamed he would. But as soon as Usagi is left all by herself, her thoughts track back to her. To Haruka.
It's like obsession. She's drawn to Haruka by an irresistible force, yet at the same time even thinking of her is painful.
Usagi thinks she's absolutely lost and impossibly confused.
A stray pebble flies aside as Usagi kicks it absentmindedly. She resumes dragging herself along the road, eyes downcast. The traffic lane markings painted over the dark-grey asphalt blur before her eyes. The girl brushes the glistening drops away from her eyelashes, vexed, and sighs. Two seconds sharp of the clear eyesight before the damp veil is back to cloud her vision.
It doesn't hurt almost. Only her eyes remain all red for god knows which day in a row, even Mamoru noticed. Or could it be just that she, tortured by ceaseless thinking of Haruka, cannot feel anything anymore? The rough clawed paw gripped around her heart doesn't let go, never since that moment when the leaving back of her beloved woman vanished in the grey mist of that disastrous Monday.
Usagi yearns for Haruka. Thin fingers grip the still warm phone in the pocket.
'Is she really not going to call?'
They changed places, and now it's Usagi waiting for Haruka's call and counting the days.
Time drags on slowly, it amounts to memories now.
"Honestly, Haruka-chan! What's gotten into you?!"
Haruka smirks smugly.
"Did you enjoy the ride?"
"Enjoy? Are you crazy? I thought I'd die of fear! How did you… why on earth would you speed up like that all of a sudden?" Usagi's voice trembles, tears shimmer in her eyes.
The wind senshi laughs, her green with bluish tint eyes sparkling.
"Oh Koneko, weren't that you who said that speed makes you hot right before that? I only decided to make you feel good." The light fringe falls upon her eyes when Haruka leans in closer and asks meaningfully, "So, did you like it?"
"I hate you, Haruka!" Usagi snarls. She is still tense and trembling with fear when the wind senshi draws her near and rubs her back gently, soothingly.
"Sorry for scaring you," Haruka murmurs quietly in her ear. "I thought it'd be fun."
"You've got a terrible sense of humor," Usagi sniffs, burying her face in the blonde's neck and wrapping her arms around her body tightly. "Just awfully, terribly terrible."
The wind senshi chuckles amused and carefully, so that she doesn't disturb the clinging to her princess, shrugs her shoulders.
"Michiru says that too."
The day shines with sunlight, and it feels light and joyful. The chilly wind ruffles light hair, the short sandy and the long golden blonde ones.
Two girls sit on the bleachers of the university stadium. Haruka brought a bento, and Usagi has been warily studying the contents of a refined box for some time, clicking her chopsticks hesitantly.
"Did you really cook all that yourself?" Her face is pure distrust.
"Yeah, I did, I, would you eat it already?" After last ten minutes where Usagi demonstrated quite a rich assortment of her facial expressions, starting with sheer delight at the sight of food and ending with obvious apprehension after she's found out who was the cook, Haruka is pretty close to losing her patience. The princess definitely didn't appreciate the hardship she had to go through to prepare this kind of surprise.
"Did you try it yourself?" The princess keeps interrogating and it is strange if anything because usually this girl would gobble up anything that looks more or less edible. Haruka begins to seriously consider if she should be offended now. Alright, so what if she isn't the best cook in the world (and those times she managed to cook anything truly delicious could be counted on the fingers), still it isn't the reason to look SO suspicious.
"I did actually and I still am alive as you may see."
"Well, it's… oh god, you really did cook this bento…" The golden blonde sighs looking doomed. Haruka cannot help but laugh at her antics.
"You've got the same expression on your face as Michi had when she found out about my culinary abilities! If only you could see her face when she tried my cooking for the first time…!"
She was laughing and saying something else but Usagi didn't listen to her anymore. Her mood has gone with the wind all of a sudden. She knew it was a tiny thing, a trifle, something not even worthy of her attention. So what if Haruka keeps constantly mentioning her name?
'Michi'. Haruka-chan always talks about her with tenderness without even realizing it. Her love for Michiru-chan is an integral part of her being; for Haruka it is just as natural as… breathing… always mentioning Michiru's name. Not just 'Michiru' but 'Michi', her intimate affectionate name.'
"Stop pouting, you jealous woman." Usagi gets a light flick on her nose and lifts her eyes in surprise.
Haruka smiles, kindly, understandingly. Her eyes are full of warmth and sympathy.
"I'm here with you, Koneko," her low voice sounds quiet yet confident. Haruka puts the stress on the main point, "With you."
The princess looks away for an instant but then lifts her head and, with her blue eyes twinkling slyly from under her golden fringe, giggles, "Right. You just want me to eat your food, admit it!"
Haruka raises her hands up in a giving up gesture and making a totally astonished face gasps, "Oh, you caught me on this, Odango Atama, how come?" She pulls the girl's head to her own shoulder for a second and quickly, stealthily pecks her on the top of her head. "Good girl."
Usagi laughs the subject off, unable to hold a grudge against Haruka for real when she is so charming and caring. Besides, the food turns out to be unexpectedly good. Who would have thought, that tomboy can cook so well indeed… Usagi is proud of her dear girl to the point where it brings stinging tenderness to the corners of her eyes, and only the all too familiar bitterness sticks as a lump in her throat.
She is jealous of Haruka. She has been, for a long while already.
Usagi knows she doesn't have the right to be jealous. And it isn't just due to that ridiculous agreement they all made in the very beginning. "Do not ruin the existing relations."Meetings meant to bring delight. Passion to heal the heart wounds. Usagi thinks it was eternity ago.
God what an absurd idea! It was doomed from the very beginning.
Yet, the princess doesn't want to destroy another's love. Another's… The love of Haruka.
Usagi, for one, loves Michiru as well. There is no one else in her life who could match the ocean senshi in wisdom, understanding and wonderfulness. Even Mamoru could not. Michiru is exquisite. Irreplaceable.
But something inside of her would flare up like a tiny volcano when Haruka's fingers dive into aquamarine curls tenderly. Usagi cannot erase a discontented frown from her forehead fast enough.
An intimate, charming smile of the wind senshi addressed to Michiru would send a quiverful of arrows into the princess's wary frozen heart, and a wave of cold would wash over her when she notices the loving looks the couple exchanges with or the way they understand each other wordlessly.
She would avert her eyes every time when the beautiful lips of the intolerable, insatiable Haruka approach too closely to a teasing curve of Michiru's mouth.
Usagi would look away. Fake an understanding smile. Join their laugh. But her heart would squeeze in fear suddenly, her fingers cold and sticky, and sometimes, only for a split second, Usagi would feel that her love for Haruka turns into hatred.
It only gets worse with time, and Usagi learns not to die a little inside every time Haruka's tenderness is aimed not for her. She learns it diligently but it never works.
"Hey, Koneko, want me to teach you how to drive?"
"Did you teach Michiru-chan already?"
"Now, give me this brush. Stay still," the wind senshi brushes the streaming golden cascade with careful yet confident strokes. "Want me to make your hair in braids? Or something else?"
"Why, do you really know how to do them?" A look full of surprise that almost immediately gives way to understanding and subtle sadness. "Oh, you probably practiced a lot on Michiru-chan…"
It's there every time. When Haruka tenderly, carefully brushes her hair. When carries her, wrapped in a bathrobe, from the bathroom to bed in her arms. When she smears her ice-cream over Usagi's nose as a joke or puts titbits from her plate to the princess's. Usagi cannot help wondering, was it or wasn't. The same. With Michiru.
Haruka understands everything. But there is a limit even to her patience. And in moments like that they take one more step away. One more second of estrangement. One more meaningless small quarrel.
"What does it have to do anything with Michi, Odango Atama?"
"You're you, Michiru's Michiru. Enough of that."
And then one of them can't take it anymore and leaves. Sometimes it is Haruka to walk away. Sometimes Usagi. Their relationship now reminds of porcupines' or hedgehogs' tenderness when the ultimate closeness brings not so much warmth as long hurtful quills.
Usagi drags herself along the tall stone fence all twined with verdure, her thoughts full of the smiling Haruka, and the paw in her chest digs its claws into her heart all the deeper. Usagi's dying to see her smile…!
"I'm sorry…" The whisper slips from her lips barely audible. Her lips quiver. "I'm so sorry. Please, Haruka…"
Tears run down her cheeks ceaselessly now.
It isn't Haruka's fault that she, Usagi, can't control her feelings, is it?
She used to believe so eagerly that any moment she would be able to turn around and go back to what was there before that she didn't realize she had already missed the point of no return.
x * x * x
Usagi lifts her head only when she hears someone calling her name, obviously worried. To her surprise, she realizes that her feet brought her to the temple where the fire senshi lived and served.
"Usagi! By what chance! Daydreaming again?" The familiar violet eyes beam with mild surprise and joy.
"Hi, Rei. How are you?" Usagi forces a smile avoiding looking in the friend's eyes.
When Rei takes her to her own room, the princess springs into exclaiming and gasping in admiration, pretty naturally faking her amazement for things she saw probably thousand times before. The miko watches her, her anxiety growing.
"Usagi, is everything alright?"
The blonde turns around abruptly, and her sky-blue eyes widen in surprise and bewilderment. Her lips stretch in a broad smile that everyone's familiar with.
"Sure! Why wouldn't it be?" The blonde turns back to the shelves. "I'm perfectly fine. Wow! Rei, where did you get th—"
"Usagi." Rei demands firmly.
The girl freezes. Her arms fall down limply, her head hanging down weakly.
"It's alright, Rei, really," she sounds quiet and broken. "I just… it's just… it happens sometimes, you know. I have no one else to go to."
"Come sit down," the fire senshi sighs, sensing the beginning of a serious conversation, "I'll make you tea, and you will tell me everything."
They sit on tatami and Usagi watches Rei whisking a small amount of greenish mass in a bowl.
"Silly Usagi, what happened to you again?" There is tenderness ringing in the strict miko's voice. Her amethyst eyes look sad. She hands the princess the small bowl with tea and patiently waits until she drinks it, cringing her nose funnily at the bitterness of the drink ('Usagi is such a baby'), and, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, hands back the bowl with a small grateful smile.
"Bitter." Usagi exhales as always, and Rei cannot help a tiny smile.
"It's fine, it'll do you good," she moves a middle-sized tea tray full of refined light sweets closer to the princess. "Tell me. What is it that eats you so much?"
Usagi looks up at her hesitantly, and the fire senshi feels her breath hitch.
There are bloodshot teary eyes, amazingly bright blue of irises, and deep inside… deep inside, Rei can see clearly, their princess feels so pained and doomed that the miko reaches out her hand compassionately and squeezes the girl's fingers encouragingly.
"Oh my, I don't even know where to start," Usagi stretches her lips in a fake cheerful smile, wiping the rolling down tears. The miko doesn't react to her laugh, she only watches her friend's face closer, then looks away and pretends to gather tea implements.
"Loving her is so hard?" She asks quietly.
In amazement, Usagi's tears dry away on the spot, she sits up at attention and goggles at Rei as if she was an alien, but then she forces a strained giggle and waves her hand frantically.
"Wha-what… why… I have no idea what you're talking about! Come on, Rei, what are you saying?"
"I am talking about Haruka-san, Usagi," the miko doesn't let her dodge the matter. There is no anger or blame in her look, her violet eyes emanate warmth and compassion. "It must be very hard for you now."
Usagi, with her shoulders slumped and her head hung down, fiddles about with a hem of her skirt. The silence seems to grow too long when she finally speaks up, "I don't know what to do, Rei."
Rei thinks that neither does she, actually. It is still hard for her to take in the thought that Haruka and Usagi… If she didn't see them together back then, in the university's yard, with her own eyes, she would have thought it was just a lame and absolutely not funny joke. But the drooped figure in front of her, scared to meet her eyes, proves that whatever Rei assumed was going on there was much more serious.
"Does… Haruka-san love you back?" At last, the miko dares asking the most important thing for now. She still cannot fully believe and accept the fact that Usa could fall in love with a girl for real, but then again, it wasn't just 'some' girl, it was Tenoh Haruka, and it makes things a whole lot different.
Usagi barely nods, and the tips of her long pigtails brush over the tatami with a soft rustle.
Rei thinks absently that no matter how inappropriate it is, deep down she is happy that the unreadable stubborn racer reciprocates the feelings of this spontaneous and cheerful, yet endlessly vulnerable girl. However, Rei asked the question only to confirm her assumptions. What she saw on that day was enough to realize how dear, precious even the princess is to Haruka. But it only adds to the problems. It would have been way easier, had Usagi's love been one-sided. Well, yes, she'd have cried oceans of tears, that little blunderer, have taken tons of sedatives–Rei was willing to give those to her personally–and it would have gone away in time. Mamoru loves his girl very much, he would have been able to cure her with his love.
"And… how long's it been going between you two?" The fire senshi keeps asking trying to figure out the whole picture.
Usagi makes an unidentified gesture, and the fire senshi frowns.
"Wait, that time when Haruka-san came to the café and dragged you away for a talk… were you already… you know…" The frightened sky-blue eyes stare at her in expectation, "like, together?"
Usagi looks down and Rei realizes something else.
"Then what she said back then… was all true?" She whispers to herself, stunned.
The blue eyes quickly fill with tears again. Letting out a sigh, Rei moves to sit down beside the princess who sniffles noisily, and embraces her tightly.
"Back then I didn't know yet…" Usagi barely manages to push the words through, her throat squeezed tightly with pent-up sobs, "…that Haruka… san too…" The miko noticed the hitch before the princess added the honorific, and that tiny detail shed more light than everything Usagi had told her before. "I thought I was the only one in love."
Rei nods to herself and asks sadly, "What about Michiru-san…?"
Usagi forces a wry weak smile.
"Oh Rei, it's all so complicated, you have no idea."
The miko furrows her brows looking all troubled. She doesn't like one bit what it might mean. She is almost afraid to hear the answer but cannot help asking, "Does Michiru-san know about you and Haruka-san?"
Usagi takes in a sharp, convulsive inhale, and her fists lying on her knees clench so tight the knuckles turn white.
"I'm not sure how much she knows but I think… Oh Rei, Rei, what do I do?" Tears gush out from her blue eyes with new force; Usagi covers her face with her palms and sniffles loudly. "It hurts Michiru-san so badly! And Haruka… I always let her down, make her worry, I mess up just everything. She would probably start hating me soon. And me… it hurts me so much, Rei! I love Haruka-san… But Michiru-san… I'm so jealous! And then there's Mamo-chan, and he's so… I love him too, love him so very much, he's all I need, I can't do without him… I'm so lost and confused, everything is as much good as painful at the same time, all the time. I can't do anything, absolutely nothing…! I don't want to lose them…"
"Silly…" Rei exhales holding the girl tight and letting her pour her grieve into abundant tears. "What a silly girl you are, Usagi…" Unspilled tears tremble in the violet eyes too. "I wish I knew how to help you…"
What can she offer to this young yet already so mature and wise soul as a consolation? Usa perfectly knows everything, herself. What is there left to say?
After a while the flood of tears ceases and the teary eyes look up at the dark-haired miko with a faint hope as if she is scared to believe.
"Rei…" Usagi begins softly, "do you really understand my feelings, you know, in all this? And you… you wouldn't even make me choose?" There is glaring, desperate hope mixed with distrust in her eyes. "You wouldn't even tell me to stop immediately this impossible relationship with Haruka-san? Really?"
Oh how she wishes she could say just that, Rei thinks. It was there ever since she saw them together for the first time, when she encountered with Mamoru after… She wanted to slap Usagi hard to sober her up, to make her see what she got herself into. There was so much more at stake than Haruka and hers personal feelings or emotional impulses.
But seeing Usagi like this, hearing how she says Haruka's name… Rei begins to understand much more than she thought she figured at first. What goes on between their princess and the wind senshi is not just a simple love affair, it is way deeper and more serious than that.
"Why, would you listen to me if I do?" The miko asks averting her eyes. Her faint smile is full of sadness. "What if I tell you right now, 'Usagi, come to your senses, these relations would take you nowhere!', would you really stop seeing Haruka-san?" The huge blue eyes filled with suffering look at her imploringly. Rei blinks away hot moisture in the corners of her eyes and mutters so quietly she can barely hear herself, "What if I beg you to stop?"
All she gets as an answer is a look of a mortally wounded deer. The miko sighs.
"Just like I thought. What's the point? No matter what I tell you now or anybody else, you wouldn't listen. So what's the meaning?"
It seems like Usagi is frightened even to breathe—as if her doing so would make Rei and her words shutter into pieces or disappear like a morning mist. She is so used to fighting her internal demons alone that right now she is simply scared to believe in the friendly support. Usagi is scared even to think what it costs to Rei to remain so understanding and calm in this situation.
"Rei-chan, I love you! I love you so, so much!" The princess flings herself on the miko's neck crying all over again. "You have no idea…"
"Ugh, Usa, stop it! Hey, I'm serious," Rei tries to push away the moved to the utmost blonde but it seems the latter clang on to her with a death grip. "Look, it doesn't mean I approve your relationship. Now come on, get off me, silly! Jeez, get a handle on your current loves before adding me to your long-list."
Both of them laugh though tears, Rei strokes Usagi's head soothingly for a while, and Usagi catches her hand and presses it to her cheek gratefully.
'Rei… thank you…'
When there is someone on your side, even if it's just one person, it's getting easier to breathe. The weight on Usagi's heart is lifted a little a bit.
Since that day Usagi would run in to Rei quite often. The miko doesn't pester her with further questioning about her relations with Haruka, and Usagi doesn't show much eagerness to let her in on details either. But of course the bits of that would slip into their talks from time to time and they only add to what Rei has understood from the very first glance—Usagi was hopelessly in love.
The role of confidante doesn't come easily to Rei. It was not once or twice when she had to bite her tongue to hold back angry lashing, seeing Usagi cry because of another argument with Haruka; not once or twice she was about to convince or persuade or beg, at last, her friend to stop torturing herself and go back to the one who was destined for her by fate. Sometimes Rei would find herself wanting to turn the princess out or grab her and hit her across something hard and solid to knock some sense into that silly golden blonde head, but as soon as she recalls Usagi's broken 'I have no one else to go to', the raging fire in amethyst eyes go down.
Depending on the mood Usagi's in when she comes to Rei, the fire senshi wants to smack either her in the first place—for whining and losing her self-confidence, or Haruka—for exasperating the poor thing instead of being there for her. In time, she develops a strong desire to smack Mamoru as well, just to top it off—for his inactivity and inability to solve the situation in a manly way. And only Michiru with her fortitude evokes overwhelming respect, admiration and compassion inside of Rei.
Sometimes Usagi wouldn't be able to hold back her heart brimming over with happiness and love for the wind senshi and then she would tell Rei more about her. At times like this the fire senshi gets to know another Haruka.
The Tenoh Haruka Rei knows in person differs radically from the Tenoh Haruka Usagi's eyes present to her, but with time the fire senshi seems to soften towards the stubborn Uranian. Although she would still have hard times believing that it is the same person: the reserved, distant, cold, scathing, mocking Tenoh and the charming, mischievous, not void of a romantic side and sensitivity, with fine sense of humor, caring and reliable Haruka who Usagi would gush with praises about.
And then there are conversations about Mamoru. Mamo-chan. Sometimes Rei would feel the urge to take a mallet and beat into this round silly head with odangos just one simple thought that runs though all such conversations and sounds like 'I love Mamoru', period. Rei doesn't know if she should hand Usagi some kind of glasses to make her wear them and finally see, or a manual for her brains so that Usa would actually start using them.
Oh no, of course, the current situation wasn't anywhere near simple but even the elementary logical reasoning would be enough to come to one and only right conclusion. The problem was that logic was alien to a heart, and when it comes to this restless silly one… well, she was like all heart.
~ x ~ * o * ~ x ~
A/N: Hello everyone! I'm so so so sorry, it took me almost a year to post another chapter of this story. I don't even know why anyone would still want to follow such a fickle author like me. I am truly sorry! Blame my tendency to fall in love and get carried away by new infatuations too quickly :) The truth is, for the past year I've been in and out a few different fandoms (and I still am on one, and sadly, it's not even Sailor Moon anymore), and my mind has been full of ideas for new stories but almost all of them are for this new fandom I'm in love with.
No, I am not going to drop this story and leave it unfinished. I promised I would finish it properly, and I will (well, unless, god forbid, something irreversible and bad happens to me personally, you can never predict such things :)). It's just that updates might still come just as rarely, I'm truly sorry for that! I wish I could write more and faster to finish all these stories I began (this one included), besides you wouldn't want to read half-assed updates posted in mere sake of posting something, believe me :) With that said, I offer my apologies once more and thank all of you who still reads and comment on this story. I hope you still like it :)
I know that my review replies are awfully out of date by now but how else I can express my blazing gratitude to those who went through trouble of finding kind words for me and my story? :))
petiyaka – Hello, my dear friend! It's been ages. I've missed you so much! I hope your love life has already shaped out into something stable and happy by now, and your girlfriend is there beside you more often :)
Every time I cannot help but admire your accurate reviews and your deep penetration into the girls' feelings and motives, it's really amazing! How do you do that? :) You are absolutely right! The kinds of love Haruka has for Michiru and Usagi are different, and I was so happy that you pointed them out! Yet, it is true that she is quite selfish now, she's kind of blinded and obsessed, and even knowing she's hurting Michiru she doesn't do much to fix it. But it doesn't mean she doesn't love Michi, she's under her skin already and that is why…
Michiru is a saint, this is true. When I write about her I never know what she will come out like, it's like she writes her character herself, not letting me to take her to the wrong direction :) I only hope she wouldn't break in the end and remains just as strong to face whatever I have in mind for her.
Aww, you are so sweet and kind! Even sympathizing with Mamoru! Really? Ahh, I'm so happy I want to hug you and dance! :) Yes, he's getting closer and closer to understanding something's happening in Usagi's heart, and when he realizes it fully… I wonder if anyone accepts his behavior at that moment *vicious grin*
It was so sad reading about your true story… Fictions are okay, we sympathize with them and go on, but knowing you had something like that for real… It's really sad. Did you repair that relationship with your best friend, no?
I don't know how to cure heartbreaks as well. I always rely on time and its healing. Usually it helps. I hope for you it's become easier by now, and you are not so sad anymore.
And what I said about me loving many different people at once I didn't mean cheating or anything :) I'm just easily carried away and I admire someone's personality, traits of character, looks, and all those people I look up to, take place in my heart and live there peacefully, but when I'm truly in love I'm in love with one and only person :)) Because you are right, loving many people at the same time brings pain to all the parties involved, and I wouldn't want that. I only do that in my stories *grins*
Thank you sp very much, my dear! For your patience, for your support and kind words, for being there, all so wonderful and smart and good! I wish you all the best!
Passerby – Awww, you are so sensitive, thank you for taking the story so close to your heart and sympathizing with the girls! Why, it's not that Haruka doesn't feel anything for Michiru or hurting her on purpose, she is just too deep and far in her own feelings, she's kind of obsessed right now and can't think straight. That is why she appears to be such an egoist now. But she loves Michiru as well, it's just… so natural for her she doesn't even notice it (well, just as it's written in this chapter above :)). Mamoru… it's complicated, but he's closer to understanding things now, and soon it will be impossible to hide them from him. Problems? *lol* Oh yeah you could say that! :) Although I think that everything will simply backfire on Haruka and Usagi. I am truly sorry for inability to update faster, I just don't want to post lame chapters, and good ones come more slowly than ever because my mind's full of something else :) But let me save you some time and answer your question. The reason behind Haruka's actions is simple, as I already mentioned, she is too deep in Usagi right now, she can't take a step back and look around and actually see how much she hurts Michiru with her neglect. Not yet, at least :) Thank you for your kind emotional review, I liked it very much :) Best wishes.
Pablo – Wow, thank you! So kind words… I am happy you liked Haruka and Usagi in last chapter :) The update is at your service, I hope you enjoyed it as well :) Have a great time!
seiusa-chan – Hello, my dear girl :) Long time no see. Thank you so much for your kindest words and for your detailed sweet message! I hope you are alright, haven't heard from you for a while and I am kind of worried here :) Now you may sleep tight, you know what happened ;)) But I'm not sure you wouldn't take it too close to your heart again and get all emotional over it again… hey, it's a calm chapter, Usagi isn't alone anymore ;)) Everything is going to be fine :) Sleep well, alright? Promise? :) I've missed you. Take care, my dear :)
Kari – Oh hi! Thank you very much for reading the story, it's always nice to know that it's welcome and liked, even if people don't leave comments on that :) Your English isn't so awful actually, I understand you well ;)) Thank you for overcoming your issues with English and writing such kind words to me, I appreciate it very much! I hope you'll continue reading it, although I'm sad to admit the updates will probably be quite rare. Unless I find my way back to loving SM more than anything else again :))) Have a great day!
starryice18 – Hello! I'm so sorry to have been so late with my writing and updates, really sorry! I still hope that you, maybe, would someday get back to this story (especially when it's finished) and wouldn't need to wait all this ridiculously late updates. And I hope you will like the rest of the story as well :) I will try to write faster but so far I didn't succeed much as you may see, sorry. Have a great day!
mb8380 – Wow, it looks like you read the entire story and then went back to the chapter one to start reading it again… in a half a year :) I can't even say how flattering this thought is! Thank you very much for your lovely warm words, it was really sweet of you to read and leave the comments. Sorry for being so late with updates :(( I feel so ashamed of it. Sadly, I can't offer you a spoiler but just keep in mind that I aim for a happy ending (whatever it may be :)) I hope you still want to read this story. Have a nice time!
Senshi at Heart – Thank you for your kind flattering words about my story, I am so happy to learn you like it that much! Can I tell you a secret? The fact that this story (which I like just as well, even if it's not so modest of me :)) is still unfinished, drives me insane too! I wish it was already written and translated, and I'd be done with it, and I'll be all happy and satisfied because I really enjoy writing it but it goes on so slowly it's crazy :) I'm really sorry to drive you nuts, please accept my apologies, I will try harder :) Well, at least, here is another update :)) I hope you will like it, if you read it of course :) Have a great day!
Josie – Hello Josie! It was so nice to hear from you and get so many lovely sweet words. Thank you very much for your review, I enjoyed it a lot! To answer your question, no, it wasn't the last chapter :) Does it feel like one? *lol* Your idea of Haruka and Usagi escaping the country and living happily ever after made me smile wide, you are so cute :)) Great idea! I actually have something like this planned (sorry for the half-spoiler) but not quite like that. Aww, I'm so happy you love the Haruka I pictured in my story, it's probably because I like her very much myself and it leaks though into the text :)) Thank you very much for writing to me, it was a pleasure to get such a lovely funny comment, I appreciated it :) I hope you will still read the rest of the story, and I hope you'll like it :) Best wishes!
Angel of Serenity88 – Wow, that is a real confession, thank you so much! :) I am happy to oblige—I AM going to finish it, really. It'd just take time… a lot of it, I'm sorry. Even though there are only a few chapters left, something tells me it's going to be a long way to go :) Please cheer up, Usagi/Haruka universe is safe, I'm not going to take it down or break it. But also I don't want to give any spoilers, so excuse me for not breaking into details ;)) Thank you for reading and for loving this story so much. Really, it's so immensely flattering I cannot express :) Best wishes.
danielle . kinkade – Awww, thank you very much for such nice words for my story! Sorry, I'm really sorry it's still unfinished, I am on it, honest :) I will get it done, someday :) As you may see, yes, I am still writing it, so there's no need to worry. Heh, you'd need only patience… or come back in a while, when it's done so that you wouldn't need to wait for every slow update :) Once again, thank you, I'm really flattered you enjoy this story so far :)
Well, that's all for now I guess. I hope to see you next time whenever it might be :)
In the meanwhile, stay well and take care of yourselves.