What is love? I have been asking myself this, Socrates says love is the longing we feel when we search for some one to procreate with. I don't think that's what I'm feeling, in fact I'm sure its not. Plato says love is the desire you feel when searching for your other half, that we where separated form, because the gods thought we where getting to cocky. I'm not sure what this feeling is, but I know I want him, but he is unattainable. I can't have him, and he can't have me. But I want him and he wants me. He's my teacher, my wonderfully smart beautiful teacher. I can't help my feelings. He's not married but he does have a kid, she's only 2 months. We stare at each other a lot, longing for what we can't have, he was the first to tell me how he felt. He was my History teacher in 11th grade, on the last day of school he asked me to stay after class into my lunch period I agreed, of course. He told me to pull a chair up to his huge wooden desk, I sat adjacent to him and leaned my elbows on the desk top, he stared at me few moments just looking into my eyes, I stared back. He slowly, so slowly reached out and brushed the pad of his thumb across my cheek bone, then tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"You're not just beautiful on the outside, you have an amazing brain, and a loving heart, I long to be apart of it." His palm covered the curve of my cheek, I couldn't help but lean into his touch.
"You do not truly know me, but I want you to. I want you to know every part of me." I told him, not really intending to, he always had a knack for getting me to tell my feelings.
He moved so slowly at first I didn't even know he was coming closer but then his face was inches from mine, and his lips brushed mine softly. My eyes closed and my lips begin to move with his, he pulled me closer out of my chair and into his lap. My arm wrapped around his neck pushing out chest together. His arms created a snare around me holding me tightly. We whispered each others names as our lips parted, but we did no release each other.
"We can't do this." I reminded him, kissing him once more.
"I know, but I have to, I have denied myself all year, I want you." He rest him forehead against mine, squeezing his eyes shut.
"I know, I want you to, believe me I do, but how." I close my eyes. It is ridicules how comfortable I am in his arms. I feel like I belong here, like I have been here forever.
"Lets not think about that now. Can't we just try, its summer. Can we try?" I looks deep into my eyes, and kisses my forehead. "please"
"Of course, we'll try. We have to try."
The smile that lights up his face, makes me smile. And we kiss again.
But now I'm a senior and back in school, and my boyfriend is also my first period teacher. .