Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Six:
…I don't want to stop moving away.
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Seven:
Look. Through all these pages I've repeated several times that I want Takuya to return my feelings.
But look again…
Nowhere in these golden pages does it say why…
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Eight:
How could I have wanted something so badly and not have known why?
That's what I'm asking myself as I run away from the classroom.
People are trying to come up to me and talk to me, but I walk right past them.
Takuya's not chasing after me.
Good. I don't want him to.
Entry Number Two Hundred Twenty-Nine:
It's not that I don't like him because I do!
But it's just that something about his confession didn't seem right, and I have to figure out why.
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty:
But that answer will come when I figure out why exactly I like him.
That's priority number one.
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-One:
So here I am, sitting by the butterfly garden that Aoi presented.
The assembly seems like hours ago.
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Two:
Yolei and Kari come up to me.
"We've been looking everywhere for you!"
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Three:
"Did you hear?" Yolei asks excitedly. "Aoi's been suspended for giving you that messed up cookie! Isn't that great?"
I shake my head and Kari seems to notice that everything isn't great.
"Is everything alright, Zoe?"
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Four:
"Aoi only goes to school because she 'as to. She eez a singer…she does not care for 'er educashun. She will become a successful pop star, but what will become of moi?"
The two of them gasp. "I completely forgot!" Yolei exclaims. "What did you and Takuya talk about?"
"Are you two officially going out?"
I shake my head again. "I left before 'e could azk."
"WHY?!!!" The two of them exclaim. Yolei slaps my arm.
"Christ! Zat 'urt!"
"It was supposed to!"
"Zoe, we thought that getting Takuya to like you was the whole point of taking on this perfection makeover," Kari says, looking disappointed. "He does like you, doesn't he?"
I nod. "But zoo you two remember why I liked 'im?"
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Five:
"Liked? As in past tense? You don't like him anymore?" Yolei asks.
"I like 'im, but I can't remember why, and zat is zee problem!"
The two of them look like they're about to fall over with shock.
"That's the reason why you walked away?" Kari looks furious.
I hear a guitar playing somewhere…
"Yeah, I do, too," Yolei responds. "And yes, before you ask, you did think out loud."
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Six:
The three of us walk over to the other side of the garden and find…
"The one and only," Matt responds, leaning against a tree and strumming his guitar.
"So you actually decided to make something out of your life and come to school today?" Kari demands with her hands on her hips. "Come on guys, we're wasting time-"
"Music is my school, the melody my teacher and the notes are my comrades. I don't know about you but I couldn't possibly want to leave all that."
Kari rolls her eyes. "As I was sayi-"
"The last thing you want to do is go away because she has a problem and I have advice to say," Matt sings.
"Are you talking about Zoe?" Yolei asks, looking from me to him.
"Yes…" He looks at me, opening his eyes and putting his guitar down. "You need help."
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Seven:
"Well, she's not gonna get any help from you," Kari explains. She and Yolei start to walk away but I don't follow.
Instead, I lean forward and ask, "Can you 'elp me, Matt Ishida?"
"You need to forget this idea that you need a reason for everything. Just lay back and follow your life's swing," he tells me.
"But zat eez juzt not good enough! I need zoo know why I like…I mean…I need zoo follow a straight path! I think it eez part of my nature." Kari was right. This is just a waste of time. I get up and start to leave when Matt calls out:
"If you always have straight things, then you'll never have a bowl full of curly… noodles, and everyone loves delicious noodles!"
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Eight:
Noodles? Why does that ring a bell?
Oh! I remember…
Entry Number Two Hundred Thirty-Nine:
Noodles? Do you remember when I said that?
We're walking up the stupid mountain.
It's not even a pretty mountain.
"Zoe! How could you do that?"
"What a waste of good fabric!"
I told you, I am the dictionary definition of perfect.
Ken can prove it to you!
Hehe Takuya thinks I smell nice!
"What do you say, Zoe? I'll give it to you for a kiss!"
These sprinkles taste….bitter. Hmm…
In a few minutes, I have to present the garden to the audience…
So why don't I have a voice!?
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty:
This is not perfect.
I'm walking back to the classroom where I left Takuya.
"I see you've tried my cookies. A lot of people think they taste simply amazing. In fact, you could say that they leave you speechless."
"Please don't say anything until I finish."
No problem there.
I thought out loud even when I didn't have a voice!
"Zat if I forgot it, zhen it wasn't important enough zoo remember."
"Fine, take your three dollarz. I zon't even know what you are going to zoo with them, anyway. And zid you even take notez?"
Doesn't he know I try to be perfect just for him!
"Perfect for who?"
Feels. So Tight. Can't breathe.
I thought out loud again, didn't I?
"You've really got to get over that."
I hate this accent!
Swell? Are we living in the 50s?
"I am going to take zat as a 'yes'. Zee zhis picture of me? Say 'perfect'!"
My name is Zoe.
I am a nice person.
I am a girl.
…No, really, I am…
I love my friends so much…
It's just that I have to be perfect, and it's not easy to be perfect.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-One:
I run into the classroom. Takuya is still there!
He's sitting on a desk and his head was down until he looked up at me.
But I interrupt.
"I am a nice person…No, really, I am…It'z juzt zat I zhought I 'ad zoo be perfect, and it's not easy zoo be perfect…"
Takuya looks at me curiously. "So that was your diary I found…" (1)
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Two:
"And I zhought zat I was starting zoo zhink zat perfection isn't a necezzity, remember? I made zat speech in front of you earlier. But I guess I 'ave a long way zoo go because despite everyzhing, I still zhought zat I needed zoo like you for a reason. Zat is trying to make zense of everyzhing even when it does not need explaining, and zat means I was trying zoo make zee situashon perfect."
Takuya's trying to piece together what I said. "So… you don't think you need a bunch of reasons to go out with me?"
Isn't that what I just said?
"Yes…" I pause. "You're naïve. Really naïve. You zid not get my hints about liking you for all zhese years. You're so zilly! But I guess it looks cute on you…mostly because you're zo nice az well-"
"Zoe, you keep giving me reasons why you like me."
"I zoo?" Wait… "I zoo!!!"
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Three:
"I'd love zoo 'ave a relashunship with you, Takuya, if you will forgive me?"
"Are you kidding me? You broke my heart and you think that I'll just take you back?"
…I should have expected this.
Suddenly, I feel warmth around me.
Takuya is hugging me.
"…but if you want me to, I will…" he tells me.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Four:
As we look at each other, our faces are getting closer…
Here it goes!
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Five:
"…Wait… what the hell?" Takuya says.
He goes to the classroom door and opens it, only to find Yolei, Kari, Kouji, Kouichi, Davis, TK, Ken, Matt, the cheerleaders, the soccer players, and virtually everyone else in the school. Everybody falls over anime-style.
"TA, you are such a liar! You told us that there would be free food in here!" Davis exclaims.
"What? I did not. It was your bright idea to come here and eavesdrop!" TK shouts back.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Six:
"Perfect, guyz," I say as Takuya takes my hand and steps over the pile of people on the floor.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Seven:
I am a nice person.
At least, I'm pretty sure I am.
It's just that I had this crazy idea that I had to change to be perfect, and now I realize that I don't.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Eight:
Wait, wait, wait. That sounded cocky.
I guess I need more time to get this non-perfect thing down.
Entry Number Two Hundred Forty-Nine:
But right now, Takuya's taking me to the ice cream parlor.
And that's not cocky.
Entry Number Two Hundred Fifty:
jeez, excuse me... im feeling pretty hyper hah. i dont like the ending.. but i was really impatient.. thanks Tatsuki Okamura and xoxo Juniebug for allowing me to use your characters "Aoi" and "Saruchi". thanks randomprose, dbzgtfan2004, agoodcupoftea, xoxo Juniebug, Sightbent, TiRaMiSuLoVeR, KoumiLoccness, BrokenDreamer529, RedPage, and BlazingChaos for the reviews. the kanji in the story summary: 知半解 means imperfections. look ma, a moral! dayum. nowgo read 家族忠誠: Her Family by moi.
as zoe would say, au revoir!!!!!!! =)
(1) see 無欠: Ribbon on a Diary by me