Well....hey guys. This is my first SN-story in english. What shall I say? Read it and say, wether I should go on trying to write in english or not 'cause it's hopeless *smirk*.
And this is important to me: This story became the coming - out of my first SN - Story I posted here. This one-shot became the epilogue for my story "Delirious". I started to post it in german, but I'm pretty sure that I'll post some of the chapters also in english - until I'm ready to write the whole story in english. So when you speak german then check out my story "Delirous". I'll update it pretty soon. If not, then...have patience. *puppy dog eyes*
Raiting's T 'cause of the pain Dean has to go through. Wouh, poor Dean. But I love him so much *grins*.
Disclaimer: Hmpf. They are so not mine. I wish but....pf...Kripke is Lord of the boys (thank you so much, Eric!), I do not earn money with this - it's just for fun, and yeah, it was a load of fun I had with this little writing!
Blah Blah, read and review, make me happy *smile* And don't forget, I'm german, it's my first english one.
And THANK YOU to JeanyAlicia for beta -you did a great job, you're just so great! *hug*
Push the button
The neverending sound kept flying through his sleepy and delirious mind. Again and again, the high noise wanted to wake him up and let him know that there was no way he could sleep and run from reality.
Dean let his eyes pinched, squeezed them a littler harder and a silent groan came out of his mouth, escaped through his cracked lips. Yeah, you win. I'm awake now. Stupid 'Beep'.
There it was. He knew it. Why should he be awake when all what waited for him was the sudden pain that overran him like a wave of icy water. When all he could feel then was the pounding agony in his arms,his legs and his young hunter gasped fo air, when it happened again. Like the time before. And before. Again and again.
Dean felt it. He felt the trembling of his fingers, the sweat on his forehead. He felt the heat in his lungs just as there would be a ball of fire that wanted to burn his body from the inside. The pain that felt like icy water overran him again, let him tremble a bit more and made him scream out loud; in his mind. Again. I already know that. I recognize it. It's getting boring, dude.
The pain stopped, but just for a little while. Dean knew that. He let his eyes shut and moved his head slightly, tried to move at least one thing of his useless body. Although his eyes where shut, he felt the dizzyness through the closed lids and stopped moving his pounding head.
Yeah. Even that I do remember.
He lay there. On something that felt like a bed . Of course, a bed. A hospital bed. What else. Where else could be such a stupid Beep – noise like that. He lay there and didn't know what to do. The pain came back, let him squeeze his eyes harder and let him gasp for air again. He already knew every movement he made. The weak fingers of his making a sweaty fist. The unsuccessful try to open his eyes to at least see finally the tired and desperate sigh full of agony came out of his mouth.
But Dean didn't know what he should do. He didn't know what was going on exactly. His mind was dizzy, he felt tired and he couldn't make sense of his thoughts. He lay there in a hospital bed, alone with his confined hearing, his almost vanished sense of smelling and his hurting body. Not knowing why he was here, not knowing where exactly this 'here' was. And not knowing why the hell he was all alone.
And this noise was driving him crazy. The noise, the pain – and the lonelyness, it was driving him crazy. Was he dead, or was he in an almost comfortable cabin where there wasn't anybody but himself? Where the hell was Sam? A sudden pain came through his body and realization set in. Why hadn't he thought of his baby brother earlier? Where is he? Is he okay?
Why isn't he here? What happened? He got the odd feeling that he already asked these questions to himself before and he thought he already had become crazy. What happened to Sammy? What happened to me? What is happening right now?
The young man tried once more to open his eyes – but the pure agony in his arms, legs and his chest let him squeeze his eyes shut and again a groan came out of his mouth, louder as the first one. The pain in his body became nearly unbearable and Dean felt a silent tear running over his right cheek. I 'm dead. I know it. Uh, I'm crying, that's quite pathetic. I'm dead...Am I? Where is Sammy?
Suddenly, between all the feelings of lonelyness, emotional and physical pain, there was another feeling. Throug his dizzy mind and his almost paralyzed senses, his trembling fingers became warm, they were put into another heated space, different from the heat of the fever that was shaking Dean's body. The young hunter's lame mind recognized this feeling probably a few seconds after – his hand was touched. There is somenody. Somebody is touching my hand.
Instead of feeling relieved, pure fear possessed his thinking and Dean coulnd't breathe, all he could do was lying there, doing nothing but waiting for what was going to happen. His mind became crazy, scaring flashs of demons, ghosts and dead Sammys flew through his head and he gasped for air when the deep agony ran through his body once more and the dispair of not knowing what was going on, the fear and the worry about his little brother reached the fever pitch.
„Dean! I'm so sorry, Dean! I'm still here, big bro!"
The yound hunter startled a bit when he heard Sam's voice.
Sammy....Sam. What are you doing....
A slightly feeling of recognition got through his dizzy and wild thoughts, just after a wave of relief ran over his aching body. His sweaty fingers squeezed the large hand in his own one and Dean smiled. At least he thought that he smiled. He didn't really know it, because the pain that overran his body again and again made him feel out of his body. He just felt the slight re-squeeze of his brother's hand in his. „I'm so sorry, Dean, I fell asleep...I'm so sorry..."
Sorry for what Sammy? I can't understand you .... Whatever you mean, it's not your fault...
„You...Dean, you have to push the button. Push the button, Dean. Push the button."
Push the button...Push the button...What do you mean, Sammy?
„You have to push the button, big brother! I can't. You have to."
Why, Sammy? Are you okay? Are you in danger? What do I have to do?
„Push it, Dean! I can't reach your button and there is nobody I can call for. Try it, Dean!"
Button...Sammy, which button? Are you okay?
„Dean, you look horrible, just do it. I'm fine, you're not. You have to, please!"
You're fine. That's good. But why do I have to push a button? Which button?
The hunter tried again to move his head, just to feel that his body was still there. There was so much pain. So much agony. He wanted to get away. He squeezed his brother's hand harder.
„Dean. You're in pain. I see that. You have to push the button!"
His brother was so worried. And tired. And terrified.
Don't you be worried Sam! There is no reason! I'm okay. There's just so much pain... But I can handle it. Don't you be so terrified, it's driving me crazy, little bro'!
„Dean! Push the damn button! Don't you play the hero! Push the button, you're freakin' me out!"
Right. The button. The damn button.
Dean's dizzy mind tried to figure out, what Sam Winchester meant by 'Push the button". A button. Which button? Dean was so tired but there was the pain again and once again this situation was so familiar to him. Suddenly, the word 'button' made sense to him. The button. Sammy, yeah. The button. I'll push the button.
A little desperate sigh came out of his mouth when he tried to move the hand that Sam didn't hold. He couldn't move it. His body was too heavy, his mind too dizzy. His other hand was squeezed by Sam.
„Try it, Dean, try to push the button."
The older hunter felt it, when Sammy squeezed a bit harder und caressed his hand with his thumb.
Yeah. I'll try, Sammy. Are you okay? Don't you be worried. Don't you worry about me, lil' bro'!
With a huge effort he lifted his free hand, and suddenly he knew what he had to recognized the situation again. Blindly he ordered his hand to get behind his ear and when it was stopped by something hard, he tried to ignore the almost unbearable pain of his body and pushed it away. After such an effort his hand just fell down next to his ear, useless and pounding.
See, Sammy? I pushed the button. I pushed the button, little bro'. You don't have to worry 'bout me anymore. I'm fine. Never been better. You're okay, right?
Dean felt his brothers thumb stroking his own hand, a relieved sigh and a squeeze on his hand.
„Good, Dean. You pushed the button. It'll be good, Dean. I'm fine, you'll be fine, too, I promise. Wait a little while. You feel it already?"
Of course I'll be fine. Always, Sammy. Have to look after you. It's my job...Feel what, Sam? What am I supposed to...oh...yeah...I think I feel it...
The dizzyness was replaced by some kind of weariness. His limbs slowly stopped trembling, the pain stopped to torture his body, suddenly he felt kind of drugged and his squezzed lids became flimsy, his mind became calm and his facial features softened. The young man let out a relieved sigh, just like his brother.
Thanks, Sammy....I pushed the button...the pain is gone....You don't have to worry about me anymore.
„Dean, it'll be better...you feel it already, right? You're not trembling anymore. Just rest, big bro'. Everything is going to be okay."
It'll be okay, yeah, Sammy. The pain is gone, I will rest. But, you have to tell me what to do next when I wake up, will ya?
„Dean, rest. I'll be awake this time, when you wake up. When the pain comes back again, I will tell you what to do, big bro'. Don't worry. I'll be there."
Dean felt the darkness coming closer, the slight squeeze of his brothers hand.
But Sammy...you have to stop this noise. It drives me crazy....it's not that bad but you understand, right? It's so loud and....it's...
His mind became tireder with every second and he could feel the darkness fall over him. He couldn't form straight thoughts anymore. But he also wasn't afraid anymore. He knew he wasn't alone. And his baby brother was okay. And the pain was gone. He pushed the button. And he would push the button again.
Both body and mind of the young hunter relaxed and he fell into a deep sleep.