Disclaimer; I do not own Death Note; the sheer AU of this plot should make that quite apparent. I merely 'borrow' the characters for my own ends, and most definitely not for profit.
A/N; A One-shot of Light and L. Light has taken power and L has been his prisoner for many years. Learn just why Kira didn't kill him out of hand, and what L's reaction is to this. What does the future hold for them both?
Please read and review!
Je Fais Partie de Vous
His world was one of darkness. Either the darkness of his cell, or the blindfold he was forced to wear on the rare occasions he was taken out to wherever his keeper wished. It was hard for him to recall just how long he had been kept like this; had it been two years, five years, or more? It could even have been a decade for all he knew. He was never allowed any information on the outside world… except those insidious broadcasts of course; he was always allowed those broadcasts. It was all the TV in his room had available, and he refused to watch them, to see his victor seen in adoration by the world. It helped that in the first broadcast he watched on his on volition Light had announced the regrettable death of Amane Misa to the world; he had felt such revulsion then that he couldn't watch again.
In the gloom of his windowless room he could still read, there was just enough illumination for that. He had initially been very surprised when, after he had read most of the books so generously provided for him, another bookcase had been added and quickly filled. That was the one thing that truly surprised L, he had not been mistreated. He had thought he would be once Light, no Kira, had won so completely, he had thought Light would kill him out of hand. That had been his supposed aim for so long.
He refused to think about how Light had gained his name; he had only thought Matt could be such an expert at hacking computers. The fact Wammy had records containing his name still startled L even now, it seemed Wammy had still wanted a link to the small child he had rescued all those years ago. The loss of his guardian still sent shudders of grief through him and he sighed in despondency, bringing one leg up to rest against his chest as he sat on the sofa. It was rare that he resumed his old, once favoured position; he didn't want to think at full strength anymore. It made the days last too long, he focused too much on the silence, but now he needed the comfort.
His gaze shifted to the table of cakes in the corner of the room; that puzzled him too. Why was Kira being so kind to him? True the food was always delivered when he was showering, as was everything; he never was allowed to meet anyone, but still they were his favourites, or what he sometimes requested. He nearly snorted when he remembered his accusations of poison in his food, said in haste he knew. Why would Light use poison when he had access to at least two Death Notes, perhaps thee, and had the world in the palm of his hand? Some days he almost felt he'd deserved the condescending look he had been given then. He was appalled that he had made such an accusation himself. He forced himself not to have any more cake; he was not nearly using his mind enough to go unchanged from ingesting large amounts of sugar, even though this room was now his entire life he still did not wish to gain weight.
L sat in contemplation once more, his current book left open forgotten on his lap. His mind travelled back over past events against his wishes. He had fought back, of course he had. He had spent the first year; at least he thought it had been a year, attempting to circumvent the security systems of the room. He had managed to break out once, but Light, it seemed, had him under constant surveillance, he had been waiting outside with two masked bodyguards. He had barely taken one step outside the room before he was thrown back inside, the bodyguards waiting outside while Light silently entered the room and repaired the mess.
The mass murder, now self styled 'god' had even had to remove his gloves. This had revealed the deep teeth mark scars on his left hand from when L had struggled in vain on his way down to this cell, screaming abuse at Light at the death of Watari and the entire Investigation team who had just died at their feet. Light had put his hand over L's mouth, muffling the flow of abuse and L had, quite calmly taken two of Light's fingers into his mouth and bit down with the intention of removing them. He hadn't stopped as blood filled his mouth, nor as Light tried to wrench his fingers away before he punched L resoundingly in the head. L didn't remember the rest of the journey; Light's fist had hit him too hard. There hadn't been any point in trying to physically fight back after that, Light had taken control of the situation too quickly.
L sat staring at the wall, his mind playing over his memories of all that had happened to him since his capture. Light had been kind, well as kind as you could expect considering L was his prisoner; he always spent several hours every evening talking with L or playing chess. Sometimes L was led blindfold through the building to various locations, and even once outside; he would never say it, but those journeys were marvellous to L, to have a change of scenery. He never resisted anymore when Light blindfolded him.
He was loath to admit it, but despite everything, L found he still considered Light his friend and he trusted Light. He supposed it was continuous exposure and that Light was his only company.
To put it simply; he considered Light a friend, while still loathing the thing he had watched Light become. L knew he would never stop loathing Kira and what he stood for. He continued to stare at the wall even as he blinked back tears; he hated feeling so emotionally weak, and hated how much confusion he felt about Light.
L was surprised when he awoke, he could only presume, several hours later. There was the warm comfort of a blanket surrounding him, and as he became fully conscious he realised that he was horizontal, his head resting on a surface that was distinctly not the sofa. He started as he realised a hand was running gently through his hair, which meant, horror of horrors, his head was resting in Light's lap.
Slowly L opened one eye and looked up at Light; he seemed engrossed in a document he was reading, his un-gloved hand seemingly moving automatically through L's hair. L frowned slightly, what was Light's goal in doing such a thing? Again L was confused by Light.
L forced himself to sit up, pushing Light's hand away as he did so, and sat with his back towards Light. As such he didn't see the look of sadness directed at his hunched back; the look of sadness and something much more, before Light's gaze returned resolutely to his paperwork.
Neither said anything, it always was difficult for either of them to make the first move at conversation, and the situation L had woken in seemed to make it all the worse today.
L's mind seemed resolutely stuck on his thoughts from before he had drifted off to sleep, despite his attempts to try to find some other thing to focus on.
"Why?" L whispered suddenly, immediately shocked that his thoughts had suddenly forced him to become verbal.
"'Why' what, Lawliet?" Light asked, sounding completely calm.
L flinched slightly at the sound of his name, he hated hearing Light saying it; it always drove home just what sort of situation he was in.
"Why am I still alive? Why haven't you killed me yet?" L asked slowly, attempting to keep the shake out of his voice. He was mostly successful.
Light turned his gaze back to L at the unexpected question, even in the beginning, when every time they came face to face they argued, L had never asked those questions. It came as quite a surprise when after eight years L had suddenly decided to know more. Finally Light had been given a chance to confess to L his reasons; he smiled at his own choice of words.
He shifted on the sofa to face L's back.
"Because I considered a world without you in it and found it quite wanting," Light said slowly, "Before I met you I wanted to kill you, but the more I came to know you the more I wanted to ensure your survival." Light paused to give L a chance to say something, but the man said nothing, his form unmoving, "I came to realise that the feelings I felt for you were decidedly not hate."
His final words seemed to have struck a chord in L who turned slowly to face him.
"What?" L said shakily, his eyes wide. It was evident he knew exactly what Light was implying and that such a thing had not occurred to him.
"I think I was quite clear," Light replied smiling, "Or would you prefer a practical demonstration I wonder…"
At this Light moved quickly to capture L's lips with his own, a hand moving to tangle in the hair at the back of L's head. He was surprised that L didn't move to fight him off, just sat there limply in his arms, eyes wide.
Light slowly pulled back, his hand releasing its grip on L's hair. L seemed to have frozen in place, his expression unreadable.
"I'm surprised you didn't fight me off," Light said softly, his hand caressing L's cheek.
"I doubt I would have much chance in fighting you off if you did force yourself upon me, so what is the point in struggling?" L said in reply, "I am your prisoner after all."
Light moved swiftly then, rising to his feet, gathering his paperwork up, sliding the gloves onto his hands before striding towards the door.
L had not missed the Light's expression become suddenly cold as he responded almost automatically to Light, his harsh words leaving his mouth before he had even realised he had thought them.
"I am sorry you think that I would ever force myself upon you in such a way," Light said through gritted teeth, "I won't trouble you with my company again."
The door clanged shut behind Light, and as it did the realisation crept up on L that Light truly would not be returning again.
He was going to be left truly alone.
If the days before Light's disappearance from his life had been long and boring, without him they were painful. L found he kept expecting Light to suddenly walk through the door as though nothing has changed, a pathetic notion; he knew Light would never go back on a promise.
As the days merged into weeks he found he truly missed Light's company. He wanted to apologise, what he had said, it had been completely uncalled for. Light, it would seem, had harboured feelings for him for years and not once had touched L inappropriately, even though he had L so completely in his power. It was just that apologising to Light would mean apologising to Kira. It would mean he had given in to Kira, truly and absolutely lost to his greatest opponent. L also wanted to know what his own feelings for Light were. He had never been good with emotions and his own were the most difficult for him.
Gradually realisation dawned on L that he returned those feelings Light had so briefly shown towards him. It may have been Stockholm Syndrome, or related to Light being his only visitor, well Light having been his only visitor, but L found he didn't care. He enjoyed Light's company, enjoyed their conversations and when Light had touched him L found he had enjoyed that too.
He sat there shaking his gaze fixed on the floor, his mind stalling. There was only one thing left to do, but he was completely unsure how to go about it. He glanced up at the slight red light of the camera in the corner of the room, focused on the only way in and out of his room, perhaps there was a way. L knew that if too much time passed he was going to go mad from the lack of stimulation anyway, from the lack of conversation.
L managed to drag a chair over to the camera, and climbed up onto it; his face briefly came in line with the lens.
"Yes this will do," L thought, before jumping softly to the floor before padding over towards the bookcase.
Light started in surprise at his desk as L suddenly jumped into quite animated activity on the computer screen he always allocated to watching L, even now looking at the man hurt, those words had been said so coldly. He placed his pen down onto the Death Note watching in curiosity as L dragged his chair over to below the camera, the lone camera that was visible that was.
Light frowned as L began rummaging through the books on the bookcase, discarded books falling haphazardly to the floor at his feet. What on Earth was L doing? Then L finally seemed to find a book that pleased him, flicking through the pages, scanning the text hurriedly. Light smiled in amusement, he hadn't seen L so involved in a task for years. Several pages were marked, and another book utilised before L was back on the chair before the camera.
It dawned on Light what L was trying to do; L was trying to send him a message.
The printed text suddenly filled the screen, L's finger pointing at the words he desired Light read. There followed a quick succession of text selections
What was said (tapped twice, the finger moving slightly to the right)
It was not the truth
Light smiled, he knew his sudden disappearance would have affected L, but he had never appreciated that L would go this far. He had planned to return after two months, he would not have left L on his own forever. It seemed L had acted for him, and revealed his own feelings too.
He rose from his seat, moving the Death Note into its usual resting place, the locks sealing around it with a pneumatic hiss. As always his two loyal guards moved in step behind him as he left his office, there was no shadow cast by any shinigami however.
Ryuk had told Light that he would live a life of strife and despair. Ryuk had been wrong; Light's life was truly blissful and full of peace, L the only missing piece of the puzzle. Ryuk however had paid the ultimate price for dropping his Death Note to Earth, he had gradually become too close to Light, his actions becoming to human, it meant he had reflexively wrote down the name of the only assassin that had come after Light. Light knew he would never forget the shocked look on the shinigami's face as he reduced to dust.
Light moved hurriedly along the corridors to L's chambers. Silently he entered the room; he had acted so quickly L was still returning the books to the shelves his hands shaking slightly. L's head whipped round towards him as the door slammed shut, his hands dropping the book he was holding. Light didn't give him time to rise to his feet; he strode over and bent to capture L's mouth with his own.
Light rejoiced as hesitantly L began to respond, hands rising to clutch at Light's jacket. He reluctantly pulled back as those hands suddenly pushed at him, despite how gentle the push was.
"You received my message then," L said quietly, attempting some slight brevity as he rose to his feet.
"Yes, quite an interesting way to go about it," Light said smiling.
"How else could I have managed it?" L queried, "I haven't seen a pen since you placed me in here."
"True enough," Light sighed, "what made you suddenly decide to do this?"
"I missed you," L whispered, his face twisting into a grimace managing to force himself away from Light, "I hate to admit it, it hurts me to say this, but I needed your company, despite who you are. I hate you as Kira, oh God I do so hate you as Kira," at this he turned his face up to Light with a face of undisguised loathing before looking down again, "Yet, you as Light? I don't hate Light at all…"
L sagged and tried to move away from Light, but was pulled flush against Light's chest, arms encircling him.
"I know you hate me as Kira, I doubt that would ever change, our understandings of justice differ too greatly, but I have never brought that up between us since that day have I," Light whispered in L's ear, "I promise you this, from this day forward, if you truly mean what you said, you won't have to stay in this room. I will trust to not turn against me, I am afraid that does include my role as Kira. Where we go beyond that is up to you. Although the one thing I do ask is that I. Get. You."
Light's final words were punctuated by gentle kisses to L's neck, one hand roaming underneath L's white shirt to caress L's chest.
"You make it sound like some sort of trade agreement," L said, his voice unsteady, even as he leaned into Light's touch, a slight sigh escaping him.
"That always was the way between us, either that or we argued, surely you remember," Light replied, fingertips grazing across L's chest, "what is your answer; either way I will respect it."
For a brief moment L truly felt despair run through him, his older self from before, the L that was the World's Three Greatest Detectives was appalled at giving into the greatest criminal of all time… but the part of him that was simply L, truly didn't care anymore, being with Light now was probably his only route to ever doing anything meaningful with his life again, and he did have feelings for Light. In that moment the part of him that had been the Three Greatest Detectives in the World was gradually silenced until only L the person remained, the L that had those wonderful feelings for Light.
"I agree," L whispered, twisting in Light's arms and finally kissing Light of his own volition, gasping into the kiss as Light's hands travelled down towards his ass and squeezed gently as he drew him close. Then L gasped again as Light's tongue began to plunder his mouth, he gave himself over to the kiss, letting Light dominate it, truly just letting himself enjoy the situation. The way he felt his body responding to the kiss made him feel secure in his decision, this was the happiest he had felt in years, even back before the Kira Investigation.
He leant against Light as they pulled apart, still not willing to look Light in the eye; despite his feelings.
"Come with me," Light said, his voice husky, "I think you will be quite surprised, we are not in the building you think we are."
L looked at Light then, his gaze full of questions. Light merely smiled at him then, a slight glimmer of his Kira sneer appearing, but the happiness glinting in his eyes belied it.
L was surprised that when they exited the room Light signalled for his bodyguards to leave, the men quickly vanishing from sight. L was equally shocked when Light twined his fingers with his and led him along the corridor, again Light was displaying that kindness that so shocked L.
Light had been correct, L had been expecting his building the one he had built to capture Kira, not this brightly lit, palace full of beautiful objects and the occasional bustling person. Eventually they arrived at what must be Light's room.
"Just when did you move me here?" L asked, his gaze flitting around the room, one entire wall was filled with floor to ceiling windows, making the room overly bright for the man who had become used to very low light levels. The room was full of objects in pale wood decorated in gold filigree; it was very much in Light's style.
"Well I never poisoned your cake," Light replied, guiding L over to a sofa, "but once there was a sleeping drug in them. You were out for two days while everything was moved."
"I see," L murmured, nodding slightly that would make logical sense, then another question occurred to him, "How long has it been since…"
"Eight years, nine months and six days," Light said hurriedly, ensuring L didn't have to complete the question, he could tell it was difficult for him.
"That long," L sighed, "no wonder my thoughts have slowed."
"I haven't noticed, you do still keep beating me at chess occasionally," Light commented, "I am truly sorry for having to do that to you. I could think of no other way to ensure your survival without you becoming a threat to me."
"I don't think I have the capacity to be a threat to you anymore," L replied quietly.
Light's hand rose to caress L's cheek, gently turning L's head to face him. He frowned at the despondency in L's expression; he drew L towards him and began to kiss the sadness away; enticing L to once more join in, to respond.
L's train of thought came to an abrupt halt as Light once more kissed him, the sheer amount of physical contact he had received today was overwhelming after years of no contact at all, his body was so sensitive to every touch. He was so involved in the kiss he didn't register Light's hand drifting down his body until it stopped at his crotch. If he hadn't already been hard he would have tried to end things there, but the look in Light's eyes as he broke the kiss along with his growing arousal, meant that when Light gently squeezed him L moaned loudly his eyes fluttering closed, letting Light continue as he wished.
His moan seemed to have encouraged Light to do more and the squeezing developed a brisk rhythm even as the force increased. L tensed as he forced himself not to press up into Light's hand, his own hands gripping the sofa. When he had sent his message he hadn't expected this quite so soon.
L's eyes shot open in shock as Light suddenly bit slightly at his neck, kissing at the red marks before moving to nip at L's ear, forcing more moans from L.
"Let go Lawliet," Light whispered into L's ear, "stop holding back."
With a small cry L found himself obeying Light, his hips moving to press into Light's hand, wanting more pressure as his hands moved to grip Light's clothing. He whimpered as the delightful sensations ceased, but moaned anew as Light tugged at his zipper, Light's hand causing more powerful waves of pleasure to course through him now there was no clothing in the way. As Light's thumb pressed against his slit his fingers tight around him L came, he groaned in muffled pleasure as Light's mouth claimed his once more; his body taut as Light continued in his ministrations, only moving away once L was completely spent.
L slowly opened his eyes once more, only to see Light's tongue flicking out to taste the substance that coated his hand liberally, the motion becoming even more sensual as he realised L was watching; L bit back a groan. He could already feel his body beginning to respond yet again, then he realised just how he must look now, his jeans pulled open and a heated blush of arousal creeping up his face.
Light gave him no time to dwell in embarrassment however as he urged L to his feet and aided L's jeans descent to the ground by running his hands underneath the fabric to caress L's ass, squeezing harder as L gasped.
Then L's embarrassment returned with full force as his shirt was pulled over his head to be tossed to the floor and he stood completely naked in Light's critical gaze, he tried to voice his dislike at this, but found that his voice was no longer obeying him. He allowed himself to be pulled over and guided onto the bed, staring back at Light as the man divested himself of his own clothes, his eyes still fixed resolutely on L, his gaze drifting lazily down L's form. Under such a heated gaze L found himself quickly becoming aroused again even as a blush began to colour his cheeks.
Finally Light was naked and moving over to the bed towards him, his own desire extremely evident. L wondered whether anything he said from here on in would make a difference, he seriously doubted it. Then Light was above him, his chest brushing against L's as his tongue plundered L's mouth, it's motion mimicking what he soon would be doing to L. Light's hand moving between them to caress L's body, even as his other supported his weight. Of their own volition L's arms encircled Light, wanting more, his doubts completely forgotten.
L was surprised when Light pulled away and began to lay gentle kisses down his neck and chest. He sighed in delighted pleasure, so much sudden physical sensation threatened to overwhelm him. Then he gave a cry of shock as Light suddenly lifted his hips, forcing a pillow underneath them.
"I have waited so long, I can no longer hold back," Light said, his voice darkened with emotion, his gaze fixed with L's suddenly apprehensive ones. Then the worry in L's eyes suddenly faded and he pulled Light down for a chaste kiss, his free hand moving to feel the smoothness of Light's chest.
"I want this," L whispered as they broke apart, finally smiling up at Light.
"Then suck," Light commanded, placing his fingers on L's lips.
L obediently took the fingers into his mouth; he frowned as he felt the scar lines on the fingers even as his tongue continuing to lap at the digits.
"I meant nothing by it," Light whispered, before gently pulling his fingers from L's mouth, his legs gently pushing L's own apart.
Anything L was going to say in reply was cut off as Light pushed one sodden finger into him, quickly working the digit in and out, ignoring the slightly pained groans as he added a second. He scissored his fingers apart, stretching L as best he could, his fingers searching deep within L. He wanted L to enjoy this as much as he knew he was going to, not to be clutching at the sheets in discomfort as he was now.
Suddenly L's hips pushed down onto his fingers as a strangled moan echoed round the room, his hands clutching at the sheets for a reason that was decidedly not pain. Light smiled and moaned slightly himself, his own arousal affected by the beautiful sight that lay stretched out beneath him.
Light forced himself to add a third finger instead of claiming the dark haired man right then. He had not waited so long to have L only to lose him again by acting in haste. Then once again L acted for him.
"More," L gasped, still pushing down onto Light's fingers, it was obvious that they were no longer enough, any pain he may have felt was definitely being buried by the pleasure shining in his eyes.
Light wasted no time in removing his fingers from within L and, after lifting L's legs up around his waist, pushed his neglected erection into L. L stiffened beneath him, hands rising to grip Light's back, groaning slightly in pain; Light was far bigger than his three fingers. Light could feel L's muscles clamping down around him, automatically trying to remove Light from inside of him.
"Relax Lawliet," Light commanded, sounding out of breath as he desperately forced himself to stay still, the tight hot heat of L was increasing his need to pound L into the bed below him, he took in a shuddering breath, "you need to relax, the pain will subside."
L nodded slightly, sighing in pleasure as Light moved to bite down on one of his nipples. He forced himself to relax, then rolled his hips slightly forcing Light deeper within him.
"Ugh," Light moaned, his control slipped and he slipped most of the way out of L, only to thrust back into him. The gasp from L was not as pained as it had been before, and Light withdrew from L again, and as he pushed in once more he angled his movement, searching for the spot he had given L so much pleasure with before. He was successful, all the pain vanished from L's expression and L's hips moved to match his.
"Oh God," L cried, as Light began to move forcefully within him, each time managing to hit the bundle of nerves within L that made him see stars. Their slight moans sounded together, both revelling in the feel of the other.
Light began to thrust more vigorously into L, restraint forgotten as he finally gained his chance to pound L into the mattress. From the noises he was provoking from L, his sudden increase in tempo was much appreciated, L's fingers clawing him closer as his hips rose to match Light's movements.
Light's hand found L's neglected member and wrapped his fingers around it, his motions matching the timing of his thrusts. He smiled when this made L arch off the bed towards him, his voice becoming hoarse as he cried out in pleasure.
Light realised he wanted L to be his like this forever, to look just like this underneath him for many years to come, and for L to know it.
"You are mine," Light hissed then, his words emphasised by yet more powerful thrusts, burying himself deep within L each time as he ground into L's prostate, "You belong to me Lawliet. Only I can make you feel this way."
L moaned as he heard Light's words, he was beyond caring. He knew a bare few hours ago he would have fought Light tooth and nail for that, now the sheer possessiveness of the words excited him further.
"Who do you belong to?" Light asked, leaning over L, bringing his face close to L's, his hand tightening around L's erection.
"Ugh," L gasped, as his mind began to blur from pleasure, but Light's words still registered, but he couldn't say it, wouldn't say it.
L was so close to the edge once more, precum already beginning to soak Light's hand, so very close. Then he cried out in despair as Light's fingers tightened around the base of his erection, forcing him back down from the edge, even as Light added to his pleasure by rolling his hips as he thrust into L.
"Say it Lawliet," Light groaned; he too was nearing completion, but he wanted to hear L give in to him completely, he had to know. L shook his head slightly; his hand reached for his erection, but it was captured and pressed down onto the bed by Light's free hand. L couldn't hold back a whimper as he was stopped from cumming for a second time.
"I am yours," L whispered, his voice breathy with need and shaking with desire.
"Again," Light said loudly, his hand tightening around L as he thrust hard into his shaking form.
"Ugh," L moaned loudly, before nearly screaming, he said it so loudly, "I belong to you!"
"Then come for me," Light whispered, finally releasing his hold.
L came, coating both of their stomachs as he released, his muscles clamping down on Light as he arched off the bed, his eyes closed in pure pleasure. He cried out as a fresh wave of pleasure coursed through him as he felt the white hot heat of Light's own release fill him even as Light continued to thrust into him.
Light collapsed onto L, his breathing heavy. He couldn't be happier. There was nothing else he wanted in the world. He had everything he wanted. Reluctantly he moved off L and looked down at him, the man had passed out, sweat still gleaming on his flesh.
L awoke to an empty room, the sunlight still streaming through the windows. He frowned as he sat up, and the pain in his ass made itself known. He ran a hand shakily through his hair, completely bemused at his behaviour… giving in to Light so easily, saying what he said. Giving himself so completely to Light. And yet he knew he had meant it, the person he had been was surely dead; it was the only way he was ever going to survive. He looked up as Light entered carrying a tray and smiled slightly.
"I would have thought you would have servants to do that for you," L said as Light approached.
"I wanted to bring you your breakfast myself, Light replied, "I didn't want you to think I was going to abandon you after last night." His sat down next to L.
"I slept all night?" L gasped.
"Oh yes, I don't think anything could have woken you," Light laughed, "I'm surprised I had quite such a tiring effect on you."
L blushed then and looked down at the bed, it was that or move away from Light. L doubted he could walk anywhere just yet.
Light chuckled and pulled L into a kiss, a hand moving to run through L's hair. L responded and sagged against him, letting his hand wander into Light's clothing; he found he still wanted Light to stay close. A few minutes later L was once more on his back, breakfast forgotten.
Neither knew what the future held, Light was Kira, and the leader of the world. L had been his greatest adversary and his prisoner for over eight years, but both thought perhaps they could move on from this. L knew that although he was just a prisoner in another way, and even though he had given everything to Kira, perhaps, at least for a little while, he could just be happy.