A/N: Matt/Mello. drug use, naughty language, mentions of sexual situations between two men. Don't like, don't read. I don't own death note, and I make no profits from writing this


They were lying on their backs, side-by side in the middle of a field, Mello with his arms folded behind his head, Matt inhaling slowly off the joint perched between his thumb and index finger. They'd been here for hours, finished off a bottle of Vodka between them. Kira was defeated and they'd managed to make it through the whole ordeal with their lives so why not celebrate their victory? But now it was quiet as they stared up at the nighttime sky. It had been a while since either of them had seen the stars, being cooped up in one city or another for so long and now they seemed more beautiful than ever.

Matt released the smoke from his lungs, watched it float above their heads, before it disappeared. Then he giggled. Mello ignored it at first, thinking it was just a side effect from all the weed the redhead had been smoking but it became harder and harder when the younger boy burst out laughing. He rolled over, punched Matt in the arm but it didn't stop so the blond rolled his eyes.

"Fucking stoner…" he muttered, which only made Matt laugh harder until he could barely breath, until there were tears in his eyes. The blond growled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he demanded, waiting impatiently for the redhead to regain control of his senses. Matt wiped his eyes, rolling onto his side, barely managing to hold back another fit of giggles at the look on the older boy's face.

"Sorry, love. I was just having a think," he said. He reached out to tuck some of Mello's hair behind his ear but the blond growled, swatting his hand away, though it didn't stop him from pulling the feisty little thing into his arms. "Oh, come now gorgeous. Quit playing hard to get. It was nothing bad…"

"Then what the fuck was it?" Mello stopped struggling after a moment, unable to stop himself from leaning into the redhead's warm embrace. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of cigarette smoke and aftershave, wondering what the fuck was so appealing about it, how Matt could completely disarm him with only a touch. He loved it and hated it all at the same time. "Are you gonna start talking dickhead, or am I going to have to resort to violence?"

"Don't tease love. I might have to take you up on that…" he said, laughing, holding Mello tighter when the blond again tried to squirm away. "Ok! Ok! I'm sorry. I'll be serious now." The older boy snorted. "Hey, there's no need to get offensive. I am capable of such a thing when I put my mind to it…" When the older boy opened his mouth to reply, Matt kissed him, effectively shutting him up for once. Their tongues battled for dominance, the redhead finally giving in as Mello rolled them over, straddling his hips as he pinned his wrists to the ground. The older boy pulled back, panting, eyes still closed. "I thought you wanted to talk…of course, if you'd rather fuck, you won't be hearing any objections from my corner. Though I'll have to insist we take it back to the car. There's no way I'm getting naked out here." The blond smirked, releasing his wrists as he sat back.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little exhibitionism," he taunted. Matt's hands slid up his leather clad thighs, rested on his hips.

"Not at all. But it's getting fucking cold and we both know you'll be pissed if I get your hair dirty, don't we, princess?" Mello slapped him, smiled when the redhead moaned and ground his ass against his erection. "You don't play fair sweetheart…" he said, then rolled them over without warning, pinning the blond beneath him this time with one hand supporting the back of his head. For once receiving no objection, just a smile and a gloved hand running through his hair, scratching behind his ear. Mello often likened the younger boy to a puppy and Matt whole-heartedly agreed. He absolutely loved to be pet.

"Ok, now I wanna talk. What was so fucking funny earlier, or do I even wanna know?"

"Like I said, I was having myself a thing and I realized something quite depressing…" Matt took the zipper for the blonde's vest between his teeth, tugged it down, then kissed the newly exposed skin, quite proud of himself when the older boy shivered, let out a little sigh as his fingers tightened in the red hair.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"We've known each other nearly all our lives, been lovers since we were kids – "

"You are a kid, Matt," the blond interrupted and Matt nipped at his lower lip in warning.

"Shut up for five seconds, yeah? I'll be twenty in less than an hour…Anyway, I realized that even though we've fucked more times than I can count, I don't even know your real name."

The blond froze, eyes open wide. He barely felt it as the redhead continued to nip and lick at his chest, began sucking on his nipple, something that always drove him mad. Shit. Matt was right. At Wammy's House, they had been taught that their true identity was their most important asset. No one could be trusted, not even your closest friends because there was no telling when someone might turn traitor. Those people had made them all so fucking paranoid that he didn't even know his lover's name.

He gripped Matt's hair, pulled him back, yanked off those ridiculous goggles so he could see his eyes. "We don't know each other's names…" he said. Matt raised an eyebrow, smirked.

"I just said that, baby. Jesus, all I have to do is work you over for a few minutes and you're already losing it? I must be good." Mello groaned and shoved the redhead off, sat up. Matt just lay still beside him, wondering what the fuck had gotten into him but amused nonetheless. He took the blonde's hand in his own, laced their fingers together and brought it to his lips. "What's up?"

"Matty, I don't know your name. I've been sleeping with a stranger…"

Matt laughed. "Now, baby, I wouldn't go that far…I didn't mean to upset you, it was just an observation. C'mere and lay back down." Mello let himself be pulled back into the redhead's arms but couldn't relax. How could he have missed something so important?

"Matt we almost died a few days ago and we never would have known. I don't know your name; I don't know where you're from. Fuck, baby, I don't even know how you ended up at Wammy's in the first place…"

Matt held him against his chest for a long time before rolling them back over so he was looking into Mello's icy blues. "Mello?"


"My name is Mail Jeevas. I was born in a back alley in Madrid, Spain to a teenage hooker named Rafaela Jeevas, and I don't think she even knew my father's name but that's okay. Anyone who'd fuck a fifteen-year-old girl is scum in my book. I don't remember much about her, just that she was beautiful and she loved me very much, but I dream about her sometimes, about when she left me in front of the church. It was raining and I think she was crying but I couldn't tell. I don't blame her, she did what she thought was best and yeah, I miss her but I suppose she was right. I got to go to Wammy's and I got to meet you. That's really all that matters, yeah?" Matt had only seen Mello cry three times since they'd met but there he was, his blue eyes welling up with tears. The redhead smiled, leaned down and licked one away, kissed both eyelids when they slipped shut. "What's all this? You're breaking my heart gorgeous."

"Thank you…" he whispered and Matt kissed him, nuzzled his cheek.

"No need to thank me. It's your turn anyway…"

"Mihael Keehl. Yugoslavia…Well, Croatia now, I guess. My mom and dad were junkies, dealers. They didn't feed me, didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me most of the time…My bedroom was a closet, and they kept me in there all day, all night. The only thing in there besides a blanket and a pillow was a fucking bible…I taught myself how to read I must have gone through the thing a hundred times…All I remember about the night they died was hearing a lot of shouting, then a couple of gunshots before everything went quiet. I found out later that it was just a drug deal gone wrong but probably the best thing that had ever happened to me until I met you. The next day the police came, took me to a hospital. They made me take a bunch of tests, realized how smart I was and a week later, I was on a plane to England with Mr. Wammy and L…I was so fucking scared when they came to get me, I didn't want to be touched. The hospital staff wouldn't come near me because I was so violent but L just walked right over and held out a fucking chocolate bar. My first one. Then he hugged me…my first one of those too." Mello closed his eyes and smiled at the memory. And Matt finally understood Mello's desperate need to avenge their mentor. It had nothing to do with Near, or being the best – though that did make a pretty good front to hide the pain – it was about losing his friend.

The redhead held his lover tighter, kissed him over and over just to let him know that he was there, that he could let go and cry if he wanted but Mello didn't. He was still smiling when he opened his eyes again. "You gonna be all right love?"

"I'm fine Matty…I feel a lot better actually." The blond stared up at him for a long time until he actually began to feel uncomfortable. His eyes searched the grass around them for his goggles but Mello grabbed his hand as he tried to reach for them. "So…Spain, huh? I never would have guessed…Mail." Matt rolled his eyes.

"Now don't start. I know it's silly…" Mello cut him off with a kiss.

"I like it, baby. It suits you." Matt blushed and got to his feet, grabbing his goggles and putting them back in their rightful place before holding out a hand to the blond. Mello let himself be pulled up, then threw his arms around the younger boy, one hand tangled in his hair, the other sliding down to his ass as he kissed him breathless only pulling back when Matt's watch began to beep. Midnight. "Happy birthday, Mail," the blond said before kissing him again. This time Matt pulled him closer and lifted him into his arms, guiding the older boy's legs around his waist. "So, what do you wanna do? Its your choice…"

"What do you think I wanna do?" he asked, heading back toward the road, effortlessly carrying Mello's nearly weightless form as the blond kissed his neck, sucking on the spot just above the jugular until there was a dark purple bruise. "I'm taking you back to my car and I'm going to fuck you in the backseat until you scream my name."

"Oh yeah? You think you can?" Mello asked just before his back collided with the side of the car, gasping as Matt's hips pressed against his own. The redhead smirked.

"Oh, I know I can…" The blond narrowed his eyes, letting the younger boy know that he'd accepted his challenge and that there was no way in hell he was going to lose.

"Bring it on."