Lust in all it's forms final chapter
I was on fire I had watched Bella loose all control and I should never have walked to her while she was in a blood rage but I could not watch her in a situation all by herself. I have been told time and time again that my blood was like the finest wine that would sing and taunt Bella and it was her feelings for me that kept her from draining me but I had forgot all about that when I watched as she drained that girl.
I wanted to be the one to go to her and comfort her I knew what she was feeling disgust, disappointment, elation, satisfaction and finally dread. I was surprised when she grabbed me tight to her and then my surprise had turned into understanding and acceptance a moment later before the pain started.
I just hoped that when I was finished changing that I would be able to tell Bella how much I loved her and to explain that I did not blame her for biting me it was a normal instinct for her and I was just food at the moment I understood.
When I saw Edward slam into Bella I fell on to my wrist wrong and broke it soon after I could feel the fire from Bella's venom and started to moan in pain at least it was going to be Bella's venom that changed me another thing that would belong to her along with my heart and soul.
My shoulder had went numb until Alice got to my side and told me that it had popped out of place and that she had to fix it now or later during the change it would hurt worse. I nodded weakly for her to do it.
I screamed in pain as Alice slammed my shoulder back into place it hurt like hell and now I could feel the burning consume my body completely but I refused to close my eyes I had to keep watching Bella to make sure that Edward didn't hurt her.
I seen Edward force something into her mouth and I could not guess what would have made her make a face like that but it did the trick for a moment later Bella stood statue still and watched something in the mirror.
I started to scream in pain as the burning got hotter. I watched as Bella's head shot up and stared at me with pain, despair, love and defeat flashed across her face before she started to come closer to me.
I looked up into Bella's eyes and noticed right away what had fascinated her in the mirror. I flinched not meaning to her eyes were blood red. Bella face flashed in pure pain as she watched me flinch away from her like her heart was breaking.
"Don't worry Jasper you will never have to see me again I promise." Bella whispered before turning on her heel and walking away if I had been able to do anything other than scream in pain I would have called out for her my Bella my forever to come back to me but she was already long gone.
"Jasper we have to move you so that when the change gets further along you don't wake up here and attack someone. Try to think of all your memories to the best detail that you can so that you don't forget anything ever I promise after you Are in control after the change we will help you bring Bella home I promise Jasper but right now we have to take care of you first."
Alice's chiming voice yelled to me as I felt Edward pick me up and start to carry me somewhere where I don't know but I sighed as his cooler skin came in contact with mine it felt so good compared to the fire that was burning away my body from the inside out.
I felt cooler air sweep by me as we finally got outside and then I could hear the opening and closing of car doors and the soft purring of the engine. Alice and Edward were talking in the front seats I think I couldn't really tell I kept drifting in and out of consciousness while they drove for who knows how long.
Time no longer had any meaning all there was, was the pain and fire that was consuming me and my desperate need for Bella my Bella who was not there with me and I needed her so much. I thought about every time she had ever smiled at me and held me close I thought about the few breath taking kisses that we had shared.
I thought about my mother and Charlie and growing up I thought about playing football in Texas and I thought about school at Fork's and I thought about the rain and how Beautiful Bella was. I would see her soon.
I don't know how long I had been laying here on my personal pyre but I was able to start thinking around the pain I was in and I could hear talking around me and feel the cooler temperature of people touching me.
I thought for sure I had heard a door slam and people talking in hushed voices I could feel crashing waves of emotions that were not my own hitting me like the rolling tide of the ocean. There was worry, stress, happiness, awe, anger and sadness all swirling around the room.
I finally felt the fire leave my fingers crawling up my arms and soon after my legs I sighed in relief a moment before I realized that I could feel the fire getting hotter and hotter on my chest and my heart start to race like the cars at the Daytona race track.
The faster my heart thudded in my chest the more pain I felt I thought for sure I was going to explode with how much pain I was feeling. Finally it stopped and there was… nothing but what I was feeling from the few people I could hear in the room with me.
A full minute went by before I realized that I was not breathing and so I waited and waited listening to the clock tick five minutes go by and still my lungs had yet to burn for needed air finally I took a breath and It was like nothing I had ever experienced. I could taste the water in the air as if it was raining in the room and when I opened my eyes I could see everything there was colors every where shining in the smallest of dust particles.
When I rolled my head to the side I could see out the window and it was indeed raining outside. I sat up and I did so fast way to fast and looked around the room to see some of the most beautiful people I have ever seen the most beautiful was the blonde watching me with interest.
"Jasper how do you feel?" Edward asked softly
I turned to look at him and he like the others was very beautiful but so boyish like.
"Where is Bella?" I ignored his question to ask a more important one.
"We don't know yet she hasn't contacted us or made a solid decision yet when she does we will go to where she is and find her." Alice said softly watching me closely.
The blonde in the corner snorted and huffed angrily.
"Who cares we are better without her look what she did lost control again and now we have to move and start over again I was just about to graduate and that stupid sister of mine could not control herself around her pet and no…" She never did finish I lunched myself at her and did the first thing that came naturally to me I sank my teeth into her face right over her nose and ripped it off spitting it out and going for another bite.
The big guy that had been standing next to the blonde before I had jumped her tried to pull me off but I was feeding off the anger and fear in the room and when he grabbed me I threw him through the wall and slammed the previously flawless blonde to the floor biting her again as she tried to rip me off her. I took her head clean off and still wanted to rip her to pieces not satisfied yet.
Finally Alice and Edward and the other tall blonde male pulled me off her I just now noticed that I had been growling deep and feral like and startled myself into silence. I looked from the twitching headless blonde on the floor to the three vampires holding me to the brute of a man trying to fuse the blond together again while growling and glaring at me.
"Emmett that is enough Rose brought that on herself she knew better than to provoke a newborn and so she got what she deserved. Just be grateful your father and brother got him off her before he figured out he needed a fire to kill her." The tall brunette scolded Emmett for his behavior toward me.
"Why does he care what Rosie says about Bella it is not like she is his mate or anything like Rose is to me why should I not rip him apart and burn the pieces!" Emmett demanded to know I growled low again before snarling at him and the blonde bitch.
'Bella is mine! My Bella my mate where is she I want what is mine!" I demanded not thinking what I was sounding like. Emmett looked stunned and felt both stunned, awe, happy, and rage all over again on recycle it seemed and it was not helping me. The blonde felt despair, and fear lots of it too.
"Jasper I am Carlisle I am the figure head of this family we don't know where Bella is right now but first we need you to go hunt and then we will help you find her after you are under control we promise so far Bella is just driving around as far as we can guess she is staying away from humans for the most part".
I watched the tall blonde male who I now knew as Carlisle. Bella had told me a lot about him she felt he was truly her father in every way he had saved her when she was near death and held her all through the change.
I could get to like him after all he felt love toward everyone in the room and even toward me and this was the first time that he and I had met and he already looked at me like a son I was astonished to be honest. I looked to his right at the woman beside him.
"Ah how rude of me let me introduce you to my mate Esme she is the mother figure head of our little family." Carlisle explained when he seen me watching Esme with curiosity.
"Bella said that she plants flowers with you in the garden her favorite place to feel at piece." I said matter of factly to Esme her eyes lit up hearing about Bella telling me about her time in the garden. She also was feeling a family love toward me thought she was also feeling a bit on edge and disappointed at me and Rose for our earlier actions.
"Jasper are you alright you have been rubbing your chest for a while now do you need to hunt?" Edward asked softly? I looked down and sure enough I was rubbing my chest that seemed to be a pulling sensation as if something or someone was pulling a string that was attached to my heart to them.
At the mention of hunting my throat flared up with fire and I grabbed at it with my other hand. I nodded my head at him and both he and Alice stood up and walked to the window which they opened and stepped out of calling to me to follow. I walked to the window and looked down at them as the both told me to step out.
I hesitated for a moment before I too stepped out of the second story window and dropped… in what appeared slow motion ii would really seeing the ground almost crawling up to meet me. I placed me feet before I lightly touched down on my toes and eased to my heels as I landed fully I was amazed and excited I had done something like that.
"Wow Jasper you Are a natural that was really graceful for our first time I can't wait to see what else you can do." Alice jumped up and down in place happily. Excitement and awe was pouring off her.
"Now lets go Jasper the sooner you are in control the sooner we can go find Bella!" Edward exclaimed he was telling the truth and he was feeling determined. I couldn't help but feel happy here with Bella's siblings and now my family in laws well except for one or two that I could live without but as long as they didn't mouth off about my Bella I could care less.
'Wait for me Bella I will find you soon and then I will never let you go again ever." I whispered as I ran after Edward and Alice as they disappeared into the forest.
FOUR YEARS LATER
I had been away from the family for four years living here in the cabin I had bought when I had first ran away I had my golden eyes back now I haven't slipped in three years I hated that I was a monster and any time I feed even if they were criminals I would always see Jaspers deep blue eyes staring at me with trust and love and then I would be to upset to finish my meals so I went back to animals.
I had yet to leave my house for more than a few hours a time I had just about every book ever written on any subject anything to fill my endless amount of time I even went so far as to buy myself a violin again to play and try to find a song that fit someone as perfect as Jasper.
It was a better use for the long hours I had than just staring at the wall and yet I have never been able to find or write a song that truly did jasper any justice. I had lost him before I had ever truly had him so most of my songs were mellow and sad I could find no happiness in my little secluded world. The cabin had a new green house added to it I took up gardening to honor Esme though I had originally moved here because it had no memories of the family I had lost I could not help but to miss them.
I sighed as I again looked at the small rose bush that I had growing in the corner of my green house I had combined and bred roses till I had got the most perfect color of blue roses they looked as close as I could remember Jasper's eyes.
"The roses are as beautiful as can be but they don't compare to your beauty my Bella why did you ever leave me?" A melodious voice asked I whipped around to face golden eyes in a face I had never seen before and yet knew so well.
"Jasper?" I asked softly not believing my eyes he was a vampire and he was perfect standing before me like a Greek god Adonis in his perfection.
His blonde hair was still wavy and his face only more perfect than what it had been when he was human and I had no right to look at him I was his murderer.
"Why did you leave me Bella I have been looking every where for you my love." Jasper softly spoke to me.
"Don't look at me please I am a monster undeserving of you and I … oh Jasper I killed you I stole your humanity and I could never have stayed after what I did to you." I whispered as I softly started to dry sob.
' Let me decide who I deserve after all I came all this way to find my soul mate your are my other half and I can not live without you my Bella where you go I go for ever after all I have to show you at least how I feel I know I can feel pure love and happiness from you and disbelief so I am going to let you feel what I feel." Jasper spoke just as softly.
before wrapping his arms around me and suddenly I was flooded with joy, and so much love I could contain it I cried out in happiness he loved me after everything I had done to him he still loved me!
Jasper held me tightly to him not letting me go for the world we sat there on the floor in my green house till the sun went down and still neither of us moved just feeling each others love flow back and forth between us was uplifting and forever changing with Jasper beside me maybe I will never be a monster again.
I am not sure where we will go from here but I do know one thing I will forever spend every day for all eternity trying to make up for my mistakes to Jasper and making sure that he knows how much I love him and appreciate him and I will be by his side until the day he tells me to leave and when and if that day ever comes will be the last day I walk this earth.
Alright everyone this is the final chapter in this story let me know what you think about the ending I have really enjoyed hearing from all of you and I loved writing this story I am so sorry that it took me so long to finish but here it is and I am happy with the final product well this is it for now…
Ja ne Akira