By iratepirate and Taipan Kiryu
Author's notes: This is a hybrid; born on one of those weekends on which we find each other online and have our brainstorming chats.
Honestly, we wouldn't know how to classify this story. It will have humour, romance, drama, adventure, action, eroticism… It's going to get smutty in some parts, but they will be carefully written as something enjoyable and believable. Still, if you feel offended by erotic content and a sexy Seeker making his way through the human's world, perhaps this story is not for you. The first chapters of this story will be rated T but eventually it can change into M. It is not our intention to offend anyone, or to make anyone feel unduly uncomfortable. Please use your discretion. On the other hand, if you are amongst those who believe that Starscream is a gift from Primus to all femmes, we are sure you will find this highly entertaining, not to mention other adjectives ;o)
This is our second collaboration together, we hope you will enjoy it as much as we are enjoying writing it… once again, it is a pleasure to share with you all.
He was dead.
He had to be dead.
He had felt it in every circuit, in every sensor, in every part of his metallic armor.
Never in his life had he felt a pain so intense. But he recognized it instinctively… the agonic moment prior to termination.
Would he be one with the Matrix now? Or perhaps those superstitious blessings were only reserved for Autobots?
Maybe only nothingness was awaiting. Maybe that was the reason why he had felt the metal layers of his body torn away one by one. Maybe that was the reason why his vocalizer had refused to obey him in letting out his last howl of fear.
Maybe that was the reason why everything was suddenly so cold… so humid.
Astrotrain hated tranquility.
And he certainly hated it as he waited transformed into his space shuttle mode in a lonely clearing on the planet of the Tlakakans.
He was an elite warrior, stronger than most of the Decepticons. Why, then, was he forced to function as a transport vehicle, carrying his hateful comrades in arms from one point of the galaxy to another?
Stealth was not his forte… he had heard it before.
And the current mission required stealth, another reason why he had been left behind. But it was his patience that was being really challenged, because his uncomfortable passengers were Starscream and his two wingmates, the most loudmouthed and vain trine of the entire Decepticon Empire. The long breems that the trip to the Tlakakan planet had lasted were a torture for Astrotrain; he had been forced to constantly listen to Starscream's egomaniacal rants, Skywarp's stupid remarks and Thundercracker's thick sobriety. Too much for a single Triplechanger.
Why wasn't he allowed to abandon his companions if he considered it proper? Why did he have to tolerate the insanities of those self-centered and obviously inferior Seekers?
He wished he could transform into his bipedal mode; at least that would have given him the opportunity to kick a tree or step on a few organic creatures to pass the time, even if it meant getting their repulsive bodily fluids all over the soles of his feet. Anything would have been more entertaining than just sitting and waiting. He let a sigh escape his vocaliser.
If at least Blitzwing had been assigned to the trip… But no. Astrotrain was on his own and with the worst company. Someday he would have an army of trains under his control, some day…
A distant explosion took the Triplechanger out of his melancholic thoughts. Maybe he would see more action than the leaves of the trees moving after all.
Another explosion followed, this time spiced with the unmistakable sound of laser fire.
Astrotrain was about to transform into his robotic mode when two winged figures broke through the former peaceful foliage, stepping on trees and bushes with no discretion whatsoever.
"Open your hatch, Astrotrain, and turn on your engines! We are leaving immediately!" Thundercracker yelled. He had his hands on his chest, probably covering a wound.
"What happened?" the Triplechanger asked, not willing to obey the Seeker.
"Autobots, you dolt, that's what happened! Didn't you hear TC? Let us in and get the slag out of here!" Skywarp demanded. His smoking shoulder showed the signs of the mild impact of enemy fire.
"You were discovered then, you idiots? Better! Time to add some Autodorks to the scrapheap!"
"They clearly outnumber us! Open your fragging hatch!" Skywarp continued as he punched one of the sides of the space shuttle.
"Keep your filthy hands away, Skywarp!" Astrotrain shouted, opening his hatch. "We will leave, but you will explain this failure to Megatron!"
It wasn't until both Seekers were inside him that Astrotrain noticed a certain absence.
"Where is Starscream?" he asked.
Skywarp stared at Thundercracker with uncertainty. The blue Seeker advanced toward the shuttle's big cargo unit, keeping his hands over his chest.
"It doesn't matter. Just take off," he somberly said.
A deep metallic cackle reverberated. "So Starscream fell in battle!! My most sincere condolences, guys!" Astrotrain mocked. He had never liked the fragger, and if it meant he had to carry one less idiot in his cargo bay, the outcome was even better.
"He wasn't destroyed; don't be an idiot. Blast off and stop talking nonsense! The Autobots will be all over us at any moment," Thundercracker growled.
"Then what the frag happened to him?"
"Slag it, choo choo brain!! Just take off!!" Skywarp cried, giving a hard kick to a bulkhead beside him.
Astrotrain was about to reply when from somewhere outside a laser beam impacted him.
"Yeeargh!!! I was hit!!"
"I told you, you imbecile!! Take off!"
This time, Astrotrain didn't argue with Skywarp and hurried to get away within a storm of enemy fire.
Fortunately for the Decepticons, the Autobots had no means to follow them and soon Astrotrain trespassed the atmosphere of the Tlakakan's planet. As the tranquility and darkness of outer space enveloped him, the Triplechanger adopted a much more benign flight pattern.
"That was close," Skywarp sighed, letting himself fall into a chair.
"Very," Thundercracker seconded.
"And no thanks to you, I might add," Skywarp said with a cold tone, directing his glance at Astrotrain's main console. "You had one job on this mission, and when someone tells you to do it, you do it. Next time you don't take off when we're under enemy fire, it won't be some Autogeek I empty my weapons on, you got that Astrotrain?"
"Yeah, keep talking out your afterburners, Skywarp… Now are you two dumb afts going to tell me what the slag happened back there? Where is Starscream?"
Skywarp glanced at Thundercracker again, confusion reflected in his optics. Thundercracker said nothing but walked forward and carefully placed the thing he had been carrying on the floor.
A young, naked, human male slid from the blue Seeker's hands. His motionless body remained still once he was deposited on the cold metal beneath him.
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF PRIMUS IS THAT??!!" Astrotrain cried as he saw the flesh creature.
"Haven't you been assigned to Earth long enough to recognize a human when you see it, Astrotrain?" Thundercracker replied.
"How dare you introduce that thing to my cargo unit?! It's going to fill me with germs!"
"Aaaah… Stop being so fussy, would you?"
"It's easy for you say it, Skywarp! It's not you who is being directly contaminated by that protoplasmic pulp! The slagging thing is so soft and humid… I'm about to purge my energon tanks… I've never felt so disgusted in my life! Take it to the back. I will expel it outside."
"You won't do such a thing," Thundercracker said severely.
"Oh, really? And who says so?"
"I'll tell you something, Thundercracker. You and your idiotic friend have two options: you get that meat pile out of me, or you will join it floating in space. You choose."
"What if we add a third choice, like my incendiary gun missiles blowing your main console to pieces? What about that?" Skywarp asked as he aimed toward his objective.
"You wouldn't dare!" the threatening voice of Astrotrain resounded.
"Wanna bet, choo choo brain?"
"Stop calling me that, Skywarp!"
"Stop being such a grease-sucking gaskertroid, then!"
"All this fighting for a simple hostage!" continued Astrotrain. "The Autobots can't reach us now. There is no need to keep it."
"This is not a simple hostage…" Thundercracker said.
"So what is it? The missing link?"
Skywarp couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah… you could call him that."
"Will you two stop digressing and tell me what in the Pit is going on here?!" the Triplechanger yelled, reaching his limit of patience.
"This human is Starscream," Thundercracker quickly said, as if in doing it that way he could eradicate the astonishment that was still invading him.
The green light on the console, that blinked every time Astrotrain spoke, turned off. It remained that way for several astro seconds.
"I see…" he finally spoke again. "I always thought Skywarp was the one that liked to play the idiot. I must say that your so-called sense of humor is pathetic, Thundercracker."
"TC is not joking, you fool!" retorted Skywarp. "This slim-squirt is indeed our glorious Air Commander."
"We had an incident with the Well of Transformation," Thundercracker explained, interrupting the Triplechanger. "Starscream fell in and I took him out converted into… this."
A slight tremor inside Astrotrain's huge cargo unit anticipated the immense guffaw that hurt both Seeker's audio sensors.
"SO STARSCREAM MADE A FOOL OUT OF HIMSELF AGAIN!! CLASSIC!!"
"Would you stop laughing, Astrotrain? It's not funny!" Thundercracker complained.
"Are you kidding? This is the most amusing thing I've seen in fifteen thousand vorns!! Oh slag, I have to record him and send the footage to the guys on Cybertron! Octane will crack up!"
"Great idea! I can provide you with the audio recording of his scream…!" Skywarp said, giving up to the contagious laugh of the Triplechanger.
"Thank you very much for the support, Warp," Thundercracker grumbled.
"You are welcome! Although I'm curious about something… if you touched the water from the well why didn't you transform into some squishy thing too?" Skywarp asked.
"Simple, I just concentrated not to. Transform into one, that is… ya know. I don't know… I guess…" Thundercracker's face seemed to glaze over as he lost himself to thought, a slight frown darkening his features.
"You are my hero."
"Ahhh, I have a question…" Astrotrain said, taking the lead of his companions, "…why in the frag was he thinking about humans anyway?"
"What do you mean, aft head?"
"Well, TC said he concentrated on not transforming, and he didn't. Which means you have to be thinking about something if you are to transform. And if you transform into what your thinking about… then…?
Skywarp stood in silence for a few astro seconds, scratching his head. "Ah. I see your point..."
"So I ask it again... why in the Pit was Starscream thinking about humans, of all the disgusting creatures?"
"Ummm... maybe he saw one of the humans the Autoscums keep just before he fell in to the well. Maybe he was going to go and kill it, but then got hit and fell in." Thundercracker suggested, his optics not leaving the tiny figure sprawled at his feet.
"Yeah, maybe... or maybe he secretly likes humans and when he saw that he was going to fall in, he focussed all his thoughts on being human?" Astrotrain's cargo bay shook with deafeneing laughter again. "Please Primus, I want to be a human. Turn me into a human, Primus, please turn me into a human!"
"Shut up Astrotrain."
"At least if you know you're about to be transformed you could focus on something better than that... I think I'd tansform into a sexy femme, then I could get some girl action and wouldn't have to part with my hard-earned energon credits..."
"Astrotrain, you really are a slag-sucking, aft-headed spazmatron."
"What, you're telling me that you wouldn't want that, Skywarp?"
"I don't need to pay for my girl action... they line up to experience the pleasures of Skywarp."
"In your fragging dreams, aft head! That squishy excuse for an Air Commander would attract more femmes than you would!"
"Guys... please!" Thundercracker interrupted, irritation clear in his voice. "Do you think we could focus on solving this potentially life-threatening problem? I always thought I'd die by Megatron's hand, but I'm not quite ready for that to happen just yet!"
Skywarp elbowed his wingmate jovially, "Sorry TC, you know I can't concentrate on things like that for too long. Right... what are we gonna do?"
Astrotrain managed to suffocate his guffaws and spoke again. "What's the big deal anyway? All you have to do is submerge Starscream in the well again and problem solved. As all Seekers, you love drama. And he'd only have to wait a few breems before the Autobots leave, it's not like it's a problem getting back there or anything. I'm sure he can last that long."
"It would be too easy, indeed," Thundercracker snarled, "if the Well of Transformation still existed."
"What do you mean?"
Skywarp bowed his head and started to play nervously with his weapons. "Erm… it was an accident… totally… I had a miscalculation while teleporting and well… a missile came out and destroyed the well… you know how these things happen…"
A new session of laughter shook Astrotrain. "So you blew up the fragging well?! Oh, for the holy Pit, this is priceless!! Wait till Blitzwing hears this!"
Skywarp frowned and unleashed a furious punch on the bulkhead beside him. "Who cares about Blitzwing? It's Megatron I'm worried about!"
"True, you idiot," Astrotrain said. "He won't be pleased about sending a Seeker and receiving a nude flesh bag in return. I would say you are pretty slagged, Skywarp."
The Triplechanger shuttle focused his optic sensors on the figure lying face down on the floor. At first sight, he seemed like an ordinary human being, his age similar to the ones the Autobots had as their pets.
"So…" Astrotrain continued. "Is he alive?"
"Yes, I think so… He is unconscious, however," Thundercracker said.
"Well, wake him up."
"Wake him up! I want to see his face when he realizes what he's gotten himself into."
Thundercracker frowned. "How many times do I have to tell you this is not supposed to be funny?"
"But it is!"
"Astrotrain may be right, TC. I don't know if it's good for Starscream to remain unconscious. We don't even know if he's functioning anymore."
Thundercracker sighed and approached the being that was supposed to be his trine leader. He looked down at the tiny creature lying before him, a mixture of fear, confusion and absolute revoltion coursing through his systems. Starscream's newly formed skin was still damp, still slick with energon spilt during the battle; his body seemed to shimmer slightly in the dimming light. He wondered how much of that spilt fluid had been the Air Commander's own. The Seeker kneeled and raised a hesitating hand, but he retracted it when he was some inches away from the young male's back.
"I can't… He is so small… and fragile," Thundercracker muttered.
"Oh, come on TC, it's not like you are going to break him or something," Skywarp said.
"How can you be so sure?"
"We have fought these meat creatures before. Starscream can't be that different from them."
"Yes, but those humans were inside machines… This is different. What if I crush him?"
"But it was you who carried him here in the first place."
"That was an instinctive impulse. If I had seen him clearly perhaps I wouldn't have been able to touch him… Primus, he looks so weak."
"On the up side, if you do kill him we can just throw his fleshy carcass out into space and Megatron would never be the wiser…" Astrotrain said, struggling to maintain his sobriety.
"Oh Primus… I…I can't…"
Skywarp approached and pushed his friend aside. "Let me, I'll do it."
The black and purple Seeker put one knee on the floor and hesitated.
"So, Warp?" Thundercracker said. "Are you going to be the hero now or not?"
"Ahem… I don't know… I mean, I have touched humans before. Juggling with them and using them to play fetch with Ravage is kind of common, but… slag, this is Starscream we are talking about!"
"You are so brilliant, brother."
"For all the slagging pit holes in the Universe, you two are annoying!!" Astrotrain shouted. "Just grab that damn thing and shake it!"
"May I remind you, Astrotrain, that this thing is our beloved superior officer…?" Skywarp ironically said.
"Whatever! Just check he's not dead or I'll throw him into space."
Skywarp rubbed his chin for many astro seconds before finally deciding to push Starscream's body with one of his fingers.
"Easy, Warp, don't forget he is all flesh now," Thundercracker said.
"Hey, Screamer, wake up, come on… You already slept too much, princess," Skywarp said as he continued poking the human until he turned him on his back, but the organic eyes remained closed, one of them partially covered by a lock of brown hair.
"Nope… I would say he is practically in stasis lock. Why don't you release a low magnitude sonic boom, TC? Perhaps low frequencies can wake him up," Skywarp suggested as he got up.
"Perhaps…" Thundercracker muttered.
Skywarp prodded him again, the limp body rocked violently with his touch, causing his head to loll to the side. Starscream's hair fell messily over his forehead.
"Slaggit, wake up Starscream!" Thundercracker spat in frustration. "We don't even know if there's any internal damage, Primus knows what we'll do if he really does need medical treatment. And you can't tell me that that purple mark growing on his shoulder is a healthy thing..."
The three Decepticons remained in silence for several astro seconds, bewilderment growing think in the air. All optics were focussed on the fleshling, a level of scrutiny that would have sent Starscream into a paranoid frenzy had he been conscious.
"Disgusting! What is that thing between his legs?" Astrotrain spat, no longer able to contain his revulsion.
"I think it's some sort of spark chamber or something…" Skywarp responded.
"Do humans have their sparks in the crotch, and exposed?? What kind of madness is that?"
"As a matter of fact, I think the equivalent of their sparks would be their hearts… who cares?" Thundercracker said.
"Then what is that piece of hanging flesh…?"
Suddenly, Starscream began to move, making the Triplechanger shut up.
Skywarp and Thundercracker backed off, mouths open, and Astrotrain focused his optics on the figure that was suddenly alive. If the three Decepticons were able to breath, they would have stopped doing it that same moment.
But breathing was something that the Air Commander definitely could do in his new form. After struggling in blindness for some seconds, organic green eyes opened and stared for the first time.
"T-thundercracker…?" the human spoke. His voice conserved the juvenile tone of Starscream, but it had lost its usual screech. One thing was for sure: that was not the voice of any Cybertronian.
No damage report came when he activated his optics, no energy restoration…
Everything that Starscream felt was coldness, and a very hard surface beneath his body. He saw Thundercracker's blurry figure before him and muttered his name by instinct. His wingmate looked bigger for some reason… huge, actually. But Starscream's numbed cerebral circuits couldn't process anything on the matter in that moment. He had to be badly injured, because he could feel everything, absolutely everything… the floor, the air, his own body that suddenly felt so light… Primus, had he been mutilated?
His primary fear was his wings, and that was the destination of his frenetic glance.
It wasn't the absence of his biggest asset and pride that replaced confusion with the most absolute terror. It was to find an organic shoulder so close to his face.
He screamed. Losing his characteristic vocal tone didn't keep him from expressing his anguish with a frightening cry; the best way to use for the first time his impossible lungs.
To be continued.
The Well of Transformation appeared in the G1 episode "Sea change".
We hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please let us know. Thanks for reading :o)