Disclaimer: Not mine.
ANote: Okay, okay. This really, and I mean really, the last chapter to this story. Point of fact, one of the reviewers (Makayla!) inspired me with a comment of hers and this chapter grew like fungus from that. Thank her for it. And yes, this has to be the last one because the other stories are demanding the spotlight.
"What exactly are you trying to tell me?" Hiruma's voice crackled with barely repressed rage and indignation.
Takami's fat cat grin couldn't get any wider. Of course, only Sakuraba managed to see this from the angel of patience. Everybody else could only see the usual Blank Look of Long Suffering-ness. The Virtue adjusted his glasses with the palm of his hand and said in a bored tone, "Shin did not technically fall."
Sakuraba, the angel of Humility, winced at that. His taciturn friend, Persistence, was going to be scolded quite Mightily tonight for the trouble he was putting Takami through. He edged a little bit closer to heaven's best negotiator, Takami. The devil king was looking a little too trigger happy for him to feel safe here.
Hiruma's eyebrows twitched spasmodically, "…And pray tell, what exactly are the fucking details of your oh-so-convenient loophole?"
The black-haired angel sighed sarcastically and ran a hand through his hair…sardonically. Sakuraba thought that he might be overdoing it a bit. Either way, Takami continued, "Shin might have fallen for your little honey trap of a demon, but that is the exact conundrum we're stuck in. He fell in love, not in lust. So technically, no vile and rotten sin has touched him. God is very clear on this. Love is okay. In fact, he encourages this sort of thing, you know."
Hiruma paused in his scribbling of his little Black Book, "What, really?"
Sakuraba nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, yeah. Like, me and Takami—"
Takami slapped a hand onto his friend's mouth, "Forgive me, Sakuraba. There was a fly."
Hiruma kekeke'd to himself, behind a hand. "Go on, fucking angel."
Takami coughed to himself, "…And that is one piece of the puzzle. Shin did not, I repeat, fall. However, and this is the best part, it is your Sena who we're here to talk about. Even though he is the representation of wanton Salaciousness, the trouble is that he also fell in love. With Shin, our angel, we might add. As we all know, love is expressly forbidden in your world. You could say, Sena has fallen down from being a high-ranking Sin. Or, as the case might be, fallen up." He smiled triumphantly at the pun while Sakuraba made a grimace of pain at that.
Hiruma's face had already gone stone-cold. He barely twitched at the joke.
And that was the whole reason why Sena was forced to actually seduce Shin into bedding him.
Hiruma couldn't very well let one of his most useful pawns going around falling in love and falling down…or up…from hell without some profitable consequence resulting from it. Not only that, Sena was one of the only demons actually doing some hard work around here. Free and, this was important, competent labor was hard to find nowadays. Shin, the training idiot, was just a bonus. And anyway, that bastard Takami had been smug the whole fricking time. Nobody was ever smug at Hiruma. He'd always made sure of that.
There was a reason why Sena hadn't bedded Shin yet. Or more to the fact…why Shin hadn't bedded the brains out of Sena yet.
And it was this…Shin hadn't…bedded him.
And it was driving Sena up the wall. Every morning, every afternoon, and every goddamn evening, Shin asked if they could train. And they did. Train, that was. Train for battle…and not sex, even though Sena had blushingly thrown that joke of a pick-up line dozens of times. Shin had merely looked at him, confused. And there was another problem.
Sena was exhausted.
Honestly, Sena didn't want to say no to Shin every time he asked for more training time. He held a deep respect for the angel's super-holy level of dedication and endurance but the dilemma was that this often resulted in Sena needing Tiger Balm every effing night. Pride was already complaining about the cost. Honestly, Lust couldn't deny Persistence. He just sort of wished the other would let up once in a while. He was getting tired of smelling like spicy pain-reliever gel. Oh, and getting rejected CONSTANTLY and crying into his pillow every NIGHT.
Where had all his sex appeal gone?
Finally, frustrated and near-tears, he turned to his friends for advice.
Musashi, the Sin of Ego, looked up from the piles of papers he called financing and budgeting up to the fidgeting Sena in front of the desk. He nodded solemnly at the Sin's sputtering and stuttering and listened like a self-respecting father would to his teenage daughter's troubles. He reined in the urge to DESTROY the ingrate who dare deny Sena. Mainly, it was because he also felt conflicted by his daughter's quest to bed the said ingrate.
Why was he calling Sena his daughter?
And for that matter, was that ingrate too proud of his goody two-shoe-ness to valiantly sully Sena? Was this Pride's fault? And another thing, that bastard angel would DIE for disrespecting Sena's pride…
In the midst of this Gordonian mental and emotional upheaval, his face remained brick-like. When Sena finished with his story, he nodded and replied, "In my day…women used to wear the split-peach hairstyle…"
Sena stared at him, like a teenage daughter would after his/her father just spoke some words of wisdom. "…What?"
When Shin had seen his new hairdo, he'd said, "…Want to train?"
Sena forgot that Shin never saw things like clothes or hair or style.
Kurita, in a pink apron, was mixing some creampuff batter at the royal decree of the Queen when Sena had come in the kitchen. He nodded understandingly, while Sena talked fast and red and humiliated. He made sounds of agreement when prompted and gave some cookies to the disconsolate Sena. Finally, when asked a question, he laughed and slapped a hand to his round belly and said, "…through his stomach, of course!"
After that, Kurita gave him various aphrodisiacs potent enough to fell an elephant.
When he'd innocently given Shin a bento stuffed full of love-love agents, as Kurita called it, the angel accepted demurely. Then Shin had calmly broken apart two chopsticks and started in on the bento. He kept on eating. Ten minutes later…he was still eating. Twenty minutes later…he was done eating. Then he said, "…Train?"
Five hours later, they were still training.
Sena forgot Shin was tougher and more hardcore than elephants.
"Haah?" Togano asked, annoyed, while the red blinking letters of PAUSED on the TV screen flashed. Resident Evil 5 was turning out to be a bitch of a game.
Sena repeated the question, desperate.
Togano actually sat up in consternation when he heard the pickle the other demon was in. It wasn't everyday Lust was denied. He paused a minute while he digested the information tearing out of Sena's mouth. Then he said, "I've read this before…somewhere. The cute but useless underclassman and the stoic and silent baseball player." He scratched his head, trying to remember.
Sena protested, "He's not a baseball player! He's a Virtue warrior, remember?" He didn't add the question of why Togano was reading that kind of thing.
The lazy demon shrugged and said, "…there should be a clue. Maybe you need to talk to his friends? I think you just need to trigger a special event to get closer."
Sena bit his lip, "What special event?"
Sloth waved a hand, "Oh, it's different per character. But it always has something to do with their pasts, something tragic or nostalgic. That's why you have to gather information first before you move, you know. Important strategy in these dating games…"
Surprisingly, the epitome of Idleness could give some sound advice. It was probably because he had all that free time to think.
Unfortunately, Sena couldn't gather the courage to approach Takami. And Sakuraba, who Sena might have managed to approach, was always being shuffled away quickly by Takami. And somehow, the rest of Shin's…friends…he couldn't really...
There really was only so much muscle a person could put on themselves. Sena wasn't an impolite person…but Shin's friends…
"Whaat? That bastard doesn't appreciate you properly?" And Jyuumonji raged for a while at this insult. And raged a bit more after that. When he'd calmed down after punching several new floral designs into the wall (because he'd been getting bored with just randomly punching in walls), he asked Sena, "…Maybe he gets turned on by fighting?"
Sena tried not to think why Jyuumonji had thought of that. And he also tried not to think on why Jyuumonji often joined fight clubs nowadays.
As Sena, looked up from a measly 155 cm (5' 1") up at the looming figure of Shin, practically a head higher and ten inches wider…he couldn't help but feel that this might hurt…a lot. And anyway…he didn't want to fight with Shin. The very thought…left a bad taste.
Shin looked at him for a moment and Sena gave up this particular stupid plan for some more training. But the other imbecilic plan of Getting into Shin's Pants, he unfortunately still had to do (and sort of wanted to do too).
No, just…no. Sena didn't want to get hit or gunned down or blown apart or set upon by Cerberus for Incompetency, which for Hiruma was a greater sin than…well all of them, actually. Hiruma hadn't created Failures. Or so he said.
Looking at Shin though...he thought to himself, I'm trying really hard, Hiruma-san! But this guy…this guy…really…
There were limits Sena adhered to and they included going to his Mamori-neechan for help in trying to hit someone up. He barely survived the Last Talk she had with him. His stomach hadn't though. There had been pictures and charts and statistics and possible future, very much into the future, matches with complete personal history folders stacked neatly by color and personality. Her Sena-kun deserved the best, of course. But only after Sena-kun was thirty and married to his soul mate…
Unfortunately, she was still very much in denial over the whole Manifestation of Lust thing going on…Or more accurately, the state of Sena's chastity, ahem.
Sena sometimes worried about her.
Monta! His good ol' buddy, Monta, would surely help him out. But then again…Monta had been eternally infatuated with the Queen and had barely done anything about it…And Hiruma hadn't utterly destroyed him for the crush yet. Still…it couldn't hurt to ask, right?
After wailing to Monta about his love life and the lack of it, with Monta going green in the right places and going white with sympathy, he finally asked Envy his secret shame, "…Is it because he might think I've already been…defiled? You know…unpure? Do angels not like…that?"
Monta thought for a bit before biting into an orange. "I don't think so. Shin seems like a MAX nice guy. He shouldn't care about that kind of stuff. I mean, he trains with you to the MAX, right?"
Sena politely ignored Monta's speech impediment of regularly adding MAX to everything he said. "You think so? But I can't really tell with him. It's so hard to communicate with him. He's always so serious-looking…I'm not really sure how to deal with this…" He also refrained from adding that Monta was eating the skin of the orange and that was sort of ABNORMAL.
Monta chewed on the orange, skin and seed and flesh mashed up in his mouth. Then he opened his mouth, "I think Shin is just like a MAX big kid, doing what he wants without even considering your feelings into it, much. I think, MAX, he assumes that you just want training…MAX."
Sena bit his lip, trying not to scream out that Monta had extremely bad manners in eating with an open mouth. Remnants of Mamori-neechan's Table Etiquette Lessons still lingered like scars. Anyway, he'd gotten an idea from Monta.
Could it be?
Could Shin actually be really like a big kid…? And not know about…the birds and the bees? Or for their case, the bees and the bees?
Somehow, some sort of misunderstanding had taken place here between the two demons.
"…MAX." Chomp, chomp.
"Don't eat with your mouth open…"
The Direct Approach…
"…Shin-san? I-I…like you a lot…and I mean, you know…romantically…" He'd prepared a speech written in ball pen on his wrist…which seemed to have smeared…Damn cheap things. Then he decided to just wing it, "…and I kindofwannnabewithyou…"
The Virtue of Persistence stared down intensely at him.
Sena tried not to scream out that Shin was kind of scary sometimes. Like, really scary INTENSE. And now that Sena thought about it, it was as if some sort of Iron Maiden Force Field radiated from Shin. No wonder his powers hadn't been working. But…that was okay…Sena …and not because of his Lewdness powers…
"…Do you mean…like a husband and…wife…?" Shin hazarded.
Sena nodded, frantically, red in the face.
"…So…you're my…wife now?"
Well…that was sort…of a 'yes'. But, Sena thought happily, he had all the time in the world to teach Shin about these kinds of things.
Hiruma threw a fit after he found out, of course. He then secretly sent a whole stash of Gay XXX to Shin's place and then celebrated afterwards by selling the home-made videos, creating a thriving porn industry in the human world.