Disclaimer: I own nothing :-(

Ok, so i first posted this over a year ago... on another site. This is my first ever fan fic re-done, and here is the first chapter! It's been a while since i've done a CSI fic, and this is not a good chapter but i promise it gets much better because where i posted it last i posted over 34,000 words and 4o chapters! So i promise it gets a lot better :-)

Chapter 1

He sat in his office thinking about her, her beauty, her love, her passion. His world. And of the memories, good and bad. And of the emptiness he had felt when she had left him. Ghosts to bury…self-destruct…tired…know that you are my one and only I will miss you with every beat of my heart, I love you - I always will… goodbye. The words of her letter whizzed round his head. Goodbye. It sounded so final. He had so many questions to ask her, all he had to do was pick up the phone, that's if she would pick up, but he wasn't strong enough, he was too afraid. To afraid of getting his hopes up and crashing down again, too afraid of getting hurt.

She was walking around the lake again. For about the hundredth time. Se loved it, the fresh air, and the calm atmosphere, the occasional person who was also walking that smiled and said hi. But most of all no death, no crime, no people that judged her because of her past. She had visited her father's grave, and had seen her mother. They were working on some kind relationship. Sara hoped that it would develop and she might even get the mother – daughter relationship that she had craved for in her youth. The only thing wrong with this place was that she missed him. She missed his scent, the comfort he gave her, his look, his touch. The first week or two away had been hell. She had woken up after a nightmare in cold sweat, screaming his name. Several times she had thought she had seen Natalie in the streets, and looked over her shoulder every where she went. But she had passed that stage and was in a state of calm. It had been several months, and though she didn't like it she knew it was time to go back. But for now, just for that moment she savoured the beautiful sight of the mountains sitting behind the huge lake, and the breath of fresh as the wind washed gently over her and the water rippled. "Yes" she thought I'm ready to go back.

Gil Grissom was sat in his office thinking about Sara, when someone knocked.

"Come in."

Catherine walked in.

"Hey, you gonna hand out assignments?"

"Yeah, I'm coming."

"Gil when was the last time you went home?"

"Come on Cath I have to go."

"You're avoiding the question."


"It's Friday Gil, go home! What about Hank?"

"I've got someone to feed and walk him."

"Go home. Now. Get some rest and eat something more than half a sandwich, oh and I don't wanna see you till Sunday afternoon. Take a day off. God knows, you've earned it."

Grissom tried to protest but it was no good, Catherine was adamant. So he left and went to the store on the way home.

"Flight from San Francisco to Las Vegas, can all passengers please board now."

"That's me" muttered Sara, and she boarded the pain, she felt alive with anticipation.

A few hours later she'd got chatting with the woman who was sat next to her, just small talk. She seemed pleasant enough. But all she was really focussed on was what Gil would say when she got back.

The persons voice came through, "landing time will be in twenty minutes ladies and gentlemen." Then Lilly (Sara's companion) asked "What are you so nervous about?"

She laughed, a sort of high pitched very un-Sara like laugh. "Me I'm not nervous."

"Oh come on, you can see it a mile off. What's up?"

She thought about it, and decided to answer, it wasn't like she was ever going to see this woman again. "Well I left this guy, and I'm not sure how pleased he's going to be when he sees me."

"Why leave to come back?"

"Well it's complicated, but let's just say I needed to get away from my job. I'm a CSI."

"No way! I'm a detective, SFPD. You know what I said earlier about recognizing you?


"My god, you poor thing, you're the one that got kidnapped by that woman serial killer a few months back. It's Sidle right?"

"Yeah." Sara replied awkwardly.

"You know when I was three my dad was disappeared and my mom had a mental breakdown, she's still in hospital. I went through foster care till I was sixteen."

"Did they ever find you're dad?"

"No, but that's not my point, I knew a girl in foster care, her second name was Sidle like you. She even had brown hair like you, but you seem happier. She was clever, really really clever but she had darkness in her eyes, it was like she wasn't alive half the time. But then again foster care wasn't exactly great back then."

"Where did you grow up?"

"San Francisco. You?"

"I grew up in foster care as well. Which home?"

"The oh so wonderful SFFC, San Fra…" (

"Francisco foster care."

"Yeah… how'd you know? Apart from the incredibly obvious name."

"That was where I was in care! What's you're full name?"

"Lilly Hayley Grey, but I went by Hayley in that place."

"No… Hay?"

"Lilly now. Sara Sidle, I can't believe it!"

For the next ten minutes Sara caught up with the closest friend she had had in foster care. It had been so long ago that they hadn't realized, but now they did it was obvious. After they landed, Lilly had promised to stay in touch and they had exchanged phone numbers.

"Good luck with that guy of yours."

"Thanks. Well I'll be in touch as soon as I've got some things sorted out."


"See ya."


Please review, if i get reviews i will post another chapter, i have no excuse because i have them all already written :-p but only if i get some reviews!

So please let me know what you think, i'm more than open to constructve criticism, but i don't like flames!

Thanks for reading,


Emily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx