Title: nuts and bolts
Summary: Every parent must learn that their little girl will inevitably grow up. Even the legendary ones.
Pairings: none. Family.
Word count: 2,152
Enjoy MD :D Since we didn't quite manage 5000 words request away until we do xD

The phrase 'You have got to be fucking kidding' just didn't seem to cover the woes of the young woman that particular morning in Death City. The next sentence that popped into her head involved much cursing, threatening the tearing of extremities and was seriously considered as what to say out loud.

Why is it that her life seemed to shift from utterly, unrealistic stupidity to dramatic insanity in the span of three seconds? It was like a badly designed roller coaster.

"I just felt like dropping in; see the sites, visit old friends, make sure my ex-husband hasn't corrupted my loving daughter beyond compare."

"He hasn't corrupted me Mama."

"Hush sweetie, mommy and daddy are talking."

"Don't listen to your Mama Maka-chan! Papa always has time for you!"

"Get off me you perverse freak!"

"See? She never used that type of language before I left."

"Well then maybe you shouldn't have left! We could have worked it out!"

"I'm 16 Mama, It's not like I'm cussing like a sailor! I'm not a baby anymore!"

She had been playing mediator between them five minutes ago hadn't she?


An oblivious and unawares Soul Eater Evans unlocked his door just in time to be completely flattened by the thick wood as it was fully knocked off it's hinges and several pairs of feet trampled it as they ran past.

Perhaps if he had known what awaited him when he would deign to return home that day he would have remained at the courts with Black Star. Or gone with Kid to count ceiling tiles. Studied. Anything but that.

Sadly he hadn't know his roommate's mother was in town.

If he had ever met her before he might have called his own mother and apologized.


"-useless, conceited, perverted! Oh this list could go on forever!" Kami insisted, tucking fly away strands of her dirty blonde hair behind her ear, green eyes flashing fire. Spirit bit his lip, his ex-wife's insults cutting sharper than one of Stein's scalpels, he turned to Maka for support but his beloved child was inspecting the cuffs on one of her sleeves with extreme disinterest, avoiding the inevitable fight between the two people she adored most in the world.

"Mama is so mean!" Spirit bemoaned, Kami snorted and propped a hand onto one of her well defined hips, heavy combat boots tapping impatiently on the floor.

"You deserve it you two timing bastard!"

"Ah!" Spirit yelled triumphantly, "now who's using bad language!" Kami looked caught out, pausing in the inspection of the nails on her hand to splutter indignantly.

"How dare you! How dare you! I raised her from infancy whilst you were too busy with younger women!" At this Maka looked up, confusion in her features. 'Younger women' she thought in bemusement, her mother wasn't exactly old when pregnant, how young did the others have to be?

She considered then decided not to think on that one for any longer than necessary.

"Hah!" Spirit crowed, anger flaring within him. As much as he loved Kami, she was being rather pig-headed about this, "and I raised her into the fine meister she is now! Where were you when she was battling the kisshin?!" At this Kami's calm facade finally snapped, with an angry growl she slapped Spirit clean across the face, following up neatly with a right-hook to the stomach. Maka yelped in alarm, moving back from her crazed parents in mild fear.

"If I were here," Kami hissed, "I would not send children to battle gods." And with that she left, coat snapping through the newly opened door. Soul stumbled out of the way, seeing the mess in the apartment, the furious aura from Maka's mother and regretted waking that particular morning.


"I am so very sorry Maka-chan." Spirit looked how he always did after one of Kami's sparce and far between visits. Exhausted and old and wishing things had turned out differently. He tentatively, praying she didnt push him away, wrapped an arm around his daughters shoulders, hugging her into his side. "I've made your Mama leave again. And so soon." He rubbed his hand up and down her arm in a last attempt at comfort.

To his surprise Maka did not shrug him off, or glare, sneer, or even yell. She nuzzled her head into his shoulder and snuggled closer. "It wasn't your fault this time."

It was then that Soul came in and overed them each a cup of fresh, instant coffee and sat down by his meisters side. He squeezed her knee and nodded silently, stairing at the floor deep in thought. Calling his mum would have to wait, she needed him. Or rather- ... He snuck a glance at the father and child holding each other's gaze. She needed him at the moment. They were together. And no one was screaming or crying or blaming.

He left them to be.



"I hate him. I hate him so much it's ridiculous!"

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'd kick his ass if it weren't improper for a lady to act like that!"

"Says the woman swearing like a swashbuckler." Her companion pointed out, English accent thick in his speech.

She shot him a frightening glare in which the fires of hell rose behind her as if she were a scorned woman. Which she was damnit! And her own daughter had betrayed her to side with him! Where was the justice in that? "John, I swear, you are the most un-understanding person ever! You're supposed to agree with me and stop defending him!"

"That wasn't in the job description." Her partner laid his hands on his shoulders, gently massaging the knots and kissing her neck. "He's the father of your daughter; who I have yet to meet by the way. At least be nice for her sake."

Kami whipped around in a flash. "There is no way I will ever, in a million years, forgive Spirit." She spat the name like it was venom that burned her tongue.

John sighed and rolled his hazel eyes. Kami was never going to change.

She would always be running.

Exhaling noisily through his nose he turned his gaze skyward, the demonic sun chuckling heartily at all those caught under his rays, John really wished he could get in on the big joke.

So wrapped up in his musings, he failed to notice the lurking presence and Kami's choked gasp of alarm. He did feel however the crushing blow as a kisshin egg powered his flabby fist into the back of his head, Kami's horrified yelling met his ears, her legs powering along toward him from further along the alley.

He didn't feel his body hit the floor.


Maka was the first to feel it, the unmistakable chill of a demon. Her hairs jolted to alert, a funny tingling sensation itching at the back of her throat. Eyes clashing with those of her fathers she was on her feet almost instantly, the coffee table they had been resting their drinks on tumbling from the force of the movement.

"Mama-" Maka croaked, the one word bringing Spirit swiftly upright after her.

"Lead the way." Soul looked from daughter to father, then sighed, chuckling lightly and surprising them with his reaction.

"Hurry up and go you two, I'll hold down the fort~"

The pair needed no further encouragement than that.


"So you just let them go."

"Uh huh."

"And that's exactly what you said?"



"MAN YOU'RE STOOOOPID!" BlackStar interrupted, leaping onto kids head, asphixiating him via smothering. It was quite convenient to say the least.

"How do you figure?" Liz cut in, yanking him by the ear, off of her currently spasming meister.

"You don't let the girl go off alone with her OLD MAN! That's like the dumbest thing he's ever done-"

"And he'd done a lot of stupid things." Killik cut in with an apologetic cough.

"Right! He is so not getting so-AH!"

Kid tossed the Louisville slugger into the corner of the room. "As my dear friend BlackStar (may she rest in peace) so eloquently put it. You're quite stupid. Noah is after Maka and you let her go off alone, to some undisclosed location after some unexplaineable threat to her mother. Without you." He nodded gravely. "You my friend, are pretty stupid."

Liz massaged her forhead, wishing she could get rid of the headaches that had invaded her home. "There's something so chauvinistic about that, I just cant place it."

"I agree Big Sis~!"

"We should revolte."

"But that would entail giving up our Saturdays I'll assume."

"...So that's out."

Tsubaki blinked. "Shouldn't we be a little more concerned about this?"

Sadly, no one was paying any attention to her.


The handle was unfamiliar to her, the blade far too big and lumberingly heavy. Maka swung her father's weapon form experimentaly, marvelling at the clean way it seemed to slice the air itself. Spirit adjusted his wavelength with her sweep, every flicker and shift was dealt with almost immediently. Maka understood now why her father was such a deadly weap-

"MAKA-CHAN~ Isn't this great! We're bonding!"

Well, Maka thought ruefully, there's that ruined.

"Shut up, idiot." Maka hissed, using the scythe's ridiculous height as a vault. Flying over the alley walls her father cheered with delight.

"SUCH GRACE. God himself should be jealous!" Maka, being face down in a pile of compost, wondered if her father had ever seen Kid in this situation and if he should possibly be reassessing that statement.

Brushing herself off she continued toward the epicentre of the attack, breathing coming in shorter and shorter gasps as she dashed.

"YOU CAN DO IT! PAPA LOVES YOU!" Maka groaned, dearly missing the little demon that occasionally popped up within Soul. At least he was less annoying.

Swinging round the final bend she came to a grinding halt.

Her mother was cornered, the kisshin egg bearing down on her with ferocious speed and intesity. Kami dived, barrel rolling out the way of the attack and following debris, calling her new weapons name with increasing desperation. Maka watched in horror for all but a few seconds before she acted, hoisting her father's weapon form into her standard attack position.

"Ready?" Spirit asked, tensing.

"Are you?" Maka retorted. Her father simply snorted.

"Well it took you long enough Spirit!" Kami's growl turned into a shriek, "And you brought my baby along?!"

"Hi mama."

"Does no one see the giant MONSTER BEARING DOWN ON US?!" her father shrieked like a little girl.

How embarassing.

"Still ready Papa?"

"Yes Baby Girl."

"Don't call me that."


Maka leapt into action, slicing through the air in wide arcs that took Kami's breath away. That was her daughter right there, effortlessly dodging, swaying and fighting. She was growing and leaps and bounds and she was better than her. Something in her told Kami that she should be jealous, but strangely she wasnt. She was just so proud.

That was her daughter.

It struck her that that wasn't ever her partner, her own death scythe and still her movements were perfect and timed.

When had she grown up?

When had she become old?

And then she was pulled harshly into the trainwreck of reality when Maka missed a beat. The razorblade fingers of the kisshin egg came down, bearing in on her twisted torso. She didn't have the momentum to block or dodge.

But suddenly that didnt matter. Because she was with her daddy.

And he had protected her once again.

A/N: I'm letting Pipster be seme for today. Aren't I nice? I should leave something long winded since our notes are always like a sentence long or less...maybe. But yes, we know, we've been gone so long! We're so sorry, pleasantries exchanged yes. For all clever little anecdotes and references blame Lorelai Gilmore, from Gilmore Girls...And possibly the lack of Merder in grey's anatomy. Is that not the coolest abreviation for a pairing you've EVER SEEN?!

Admit it. You guys have missed us *coughmecough*.

We hope you enjoyed MarshmellowDragon dearie! Congrats again on winning!

Review if you love Merder, Luke or this story :P

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Who's proud?!