A/N: My newest project. Enjoy.


"What an idiot!" Tony laughed as he slung his bag down behind his desk.

"Who?" McGee asked from his desk, looking up curiously.

"Lieutenant Robert Allen." Ziva replied as she set her bag down behind her desk. McGee raised his eyebrows signaling for Ziva to continue, but Tony took over."So there we were on the porch, Bob answers the door, we serve the warrant, he throws the can of soda he's holding at us and tries to run. But here's the thing, he doesn't try to run out the back." McGee opened his mouth and shook his head.

"Where is he now, DiNozzo?" A slightly amused Gibbs asked from his desk.

"Being booked as we speak Boss!" Tony grinned.

Ziva smiled. "He is definitely the dumbest criminal that I have ever encountered."

"Did you tell him that the warrant was for DNA?" McGee asked.

"We did, but then he threw his drink at us, so we just bagged it." Ziva held up a plastic evidence bag with a can inside it.

"Get that down to Abby." Gibbs ordered.

"Get's what down to Abby?" Abby asked as she bounced into the bullpen, arms linked with Ducky.

"This" Ziva held up the evidence bag.

"Ooh! A can of 'Orangey Orange Orange' soda! What am I looking for, fingerprints or DNA?" She quickly took and initialed the bag.

"DNA." Tony said before filling them in on what had happened.

Ducky chuckled. "That reminds me of a case on the news. A woman in Georgia bought cocaine and smoked almost all of it, when she didn't find herself intoxicated, she called the local police to get her money back from the woman she'd bought the cocaine from. When the police arrived, they ended up arrested her for possession."

Tony laughed before sharing his own dumb criminal story. "A guy decided that he wanted ro throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, rob the place and run, so he picked up the block and threw it against the window. The block bounced back against the plexi-glass window, the block bounced back and knocked the guy out. The store caught the whole thing on video."

The group had several chuckles and grins before Abby shared a story.

"There was a guy in Indiana who put his gun in the front of his pants while robbing a bank, the gun went off," She glanced at Ziva, "among other things." The two females shared a grin while the males were not surprisingly quiet.

After he had gotten his voice back, McGee added to the conversation.

"In Phoenix, a man robbed a bank, and while he was being chased, he stopped in a gas station and bought a pack of cigarettes. The police eventually caught up with him, and the cigarettes were still unopened.

"Let's face it, all criminals are dumb." Abby pulled Tony and Ziva, who were standing over by Tony's desk, and Ducky into a hug. "It's a good think we're smarter."We'll always get the bad guys." Tony grinned, ruffling Ziva's hair.

"Yeah?" Gibbs smirked from his desk, "Well why don't we focus on the current 'bad guy'."

"Yessir." Abby grinned, as she marched out of the bullpen and down to her lab.


A/N: Inspired by the '10 Terribly Bungled Crimes' Stuff You Should Know iTunes podcast.